Small Town Pretender by Brighton Walsh
Rory’s words had been spinning in Nat’s head from the moment she, Asher, and the kids had left her parents’ house. She’d gone inside in search of Owen, not advice, but she’d managed to snag both. After Nat had laughed off Rory’s assumption that there was something between her and Asher, Rory had told her she was being an idiot. Par for the course with her eldest sister, really, but there’d been something in the way she’d said the words that had Nat paying attention.
Throughout Rory’s blustering and barbs, it had all boiled down to the fact that Nat and Asher had been able to fool everyone in town, as well as her parents, with this marriage because it hadn’t been all that fake.
It certainly hadn’t felt fake. Not when he kissed her each night, slid into her body, and moaned her name. Not when she woke up with him at her back, his breaths on her neck, and his sleep-gruff voice in her ear. Marriage hadn’t been at all like she’d thought it would be. Feared it would be, honestly. Marriage with him had been kind of perfect.
But things were now upside down and backward, and she didn’t know right from left or up from down. Didn’t know what everyone else saw when they looked at the two of them. She just knew that, somehow, after twenty years, she’d fallen in love with her best friend. And that was probably something she should tell him.
He sat on the couch, head bowed as he strummed his guitar, humming along to whatever tune was currently floating in his mind.
“That’s pretty. You have lyrics yet?” She sank into the spot on the couch she’d commandeered as her own, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees.
He glanced at her and offered a small smile. “Some, but it’s not finished.”
She hummed and tucked her cold toes beneath his thigh, wiggling them as if that would warm them up faster. “You seemed a little distracted tonight. You all right?”
“Yeah, never better.” He set the guitar down and ran a hand through his hair. “Everything worked out exactly how we planned.”
“Can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but Seville made the right choice. The Haywards weren’t too happy, though—did they even try to set something up to see June or Owen while they’re here?”
“Nope. Don’t expect they will either.”
And those assholes had just about taken June and Owen from them—him.
“Well, if my daddy can come around, maybe they can, too. Never thought I’d see the day he spoke up for me.”
Asher relaxed back into the couch, resting his head on the cushion. “That was definitely not the curve ball I was expectin’ today.”
“’Course, he did make a comment when we were leavin’ about settin’ up an appointment at town hall for me to find a—and I quote—‘real job.’” She rolled her eyes. “Guess he’d hit the quota for bein’ a decent human being in a single day.”
“I wanted to talk to you about that, actually, now that this is all done.”
She couldn’t have asked for a better opening, so she straightened and reached for his hand, running her fingers over the callused tips of his. “Good, me too. You first.”
“I—” He cleared his throat and shot her a look out of the corner of his eyes. Was that hesitancy there? “I can’t thank you enough for everything you did for me…for us.”
She poked his thigh with her toe. “You’ve gotta stop thankin’ me for something I said yes to, Ash. I mean it.”
“I just want you to know how much I appreciate it, and I love you for doin’ it.”
Yeah, she loved him, too, but not for some arbitrary reason. She loved him without fail or exception. Loved him unconditionally, through all the good and bad. Through all the ups and downs and every path life had taken him on. Loved him like she’d never loved anyone else.
“I love you for askin’ me and not Nash.”
He cracked a grin. “Somehow, I think that would’ve been harder to pull off, what since he’s livin’ with your sister and all.”
“I was probably a better choice, that’s true.”
“You were definitely the better choice. But now that it’s over, we should probably get our stories straight.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, though her heart had already started sinking, the pit in her stomach opening wider, threatening to swallow her whole.
“You’ve already done so much, so I’ll follow your lead on whatever you think is best to tell everyone now that you’re free to go.”
Her fingers stilled in his as she stared at him for a beat, and everything inside her stilled right along with them. Nat had never known heartbreak. She’d made very certain that she’d never had to. Had kept herself at a distance from any romantic partner she’d ever been involved with. But she’d never kept herself at a distance from Nash and certainly not ever from Asher. How was she supposed to know it’d be her ultimate downfall?
She blinked away the hurt, hoping he hadn’t seen it. “Right. Of course.”
He linked their hands and squeezed. “You just tell me how you wanna spin this, and we’ll do it.”
She ducked her head and pulled her hand from his, swallowing down the hurt. The pain. The illusions she was under that somehow this farce had turned into something else. Something real.
She never should’ve listened to Rory. She’d spent days psyching herself up for a clean break, and then her brat of a sister had to go and fill her head with possibilities. Possibilities of a life with this man and these kids in a town she wasn’t sure she’d ever love, but she’d love those three enough to compensate for everything else.
“I, um… I was thinkin’ maybe we keep everything quiet for a bit,” she said. “Just so June and Owen don’t have any more upheaval. I’ve got that shoot comin’ up anyway, so we’ll just say I had to leave for that.”
“Right. That’s good. So, we’ll just sit tight for a bit, and then at some point, we can figure out divorce, I guess.”
Divorce. God, if she didn’t get out of this room right now, she was going to burst into tears, and there’d be no hiding that from him. No amount of fake, plastered-on smiles would do anything to mask the pain.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever you think.”
It hurt to meet his gaze, but she couldn’t look away, every second they’d spent together in the past month flipping through her mind. So that was it, then. And now the two of them had to go back to being just friends.
But how was she going to be satisfied with chaste touches now that she’d felt his hands caress her body? How would she handle seeing him kiss another woman when she knew exactly what those lips felt like against hers?
“Your turn now,” he said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “What were you gonna tell me?”
“What? Oh, just, um, that I actually need to leave early for that shoot.” She pulled her toes out from under his leg and extricated her fingers from his, hoping he couldn’t hear the shake in her voice or see the sheen in her eyes. “They pushed up the date, so I should probably go get packed.”
“They did? When do you leave?”
“Super-early flight tomorrow mornin’,” she said, walking backward to the bedroom they’d shared. “I already texted Nash, and he’s gonna give me a ride. So I’ll just stay over there tonight.”
She barely made it into the bedroom before the tears started falling. She closed herself inside and sank back against the door, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes. Every other time she’d come to Havenbrook, she’d done so with her eyes already on the departure date. This had been the only trip in all the years since she’d been away when she dreaded the thought of getting on a plane that’d take her away from here. Away from him. Away from June and Owen and the cobbled-together life they’d been living and loving even in the face of unimaginable grief.
She wished she’d known she’d already experienced all the lasts with him. The last night she’d fallen asleep in his arms. The last morning she’d woken up, her limbs tangled in his. Their last kiss, the last time he was inside her, the last time he’d groaned her name.
Though that was usually the trouble with lasts—you didn’t know they were all you’d have until they were already gone.
* * *
Nat had lied.To be honest, she hadn’t even thought about it before the words had flown out of her mouth and she’d told Asher that the shoot had been moved up. The job dates hadn’t changed, but she hadn’t been able to stay there for another second.
Because she didn’t want things to be any harder on June, she’d left a note for her, saying she had to fly off for work and that she’d see her soon. She’d taken the easy way out. She knew that. But saying goodbye to Asher, even if he thought it was only for a little while, tore her up inside. And she couldn’t bear the thought of doing the same with those kids.
Because of that, she’d wiped her eyes, pasted on a smile, told him she’d see him soon, and then she’d fled. The only trouble was, not only did she not have an early flight to catch, but she also didn’t have anywhere to go. She couldn’t exactly go to her parents’ house, what since they thought she and Asher were happy newlyweds. Will and Finn were on their honeymoon, and Mac and Hudson were all the way out at their home on Havenbrook Lake.
So that was how she found herself knocking on Rory’s front door, bags in tow. The last person she wanted to see her crying like an idiot was her eldest sister, but she didn’t have much of a choice because, apparently, these tears weren’t stopping anytime soon, even if she didn’t know why. Her leaving had always been the plan. It was what she wanted. Not to be trapped by a person or place, so she sure had narrowly escaped that one.
“Who is it?” Rory called from inside.
“Just let me in,” Nat said, her voice barely a croak.
“Nat? What’re you—” Rory opened the door and froze as she appraised Nat, her eyes widening as she took it all in. Everything from Nat’s blotchy face to her tear-streaked cheeks to her red-rimmed eyes and finally to the bags at her feet. “What’s wrong? I thought y’all were gonna talk?”
“We did,” Nat said, forcing her way into the house. “Everything’s fine. Great, even! These are happy tears, obviously. Because now I can go to bed at four a.m. and sleep till the next afternoon if I want to. I don’t have to worry about nap schedules and playdates and makin’ sure there are enough granola bars to last June more than three days. I can eat chips for dinner and nothing but a bottle of wine for breakfast. I won’t constantly smell like baby powder or have to do laundry every single day just to keep up. And I can finally have regular pancakes again instead of agonizing over creatin’ animal-shaped ones, and it’s all fine.”
“Okay,” Rory said slowly. “You’re clearly not fine. You’re on the verge of a hysterical breakdown.”
“I’m fine,” Nat reiterated, wiping her cheek across her shoulder to dry her tears.
“Is that Nat?” Nash strolled toward them from the hallway and skidded to a stop when he registered her face. “What the hell’s the matter?”
“Well,” Rory said, “my sister and your best friend is fine. Everything’s fine. She hasn’t lost her mind, and she doesn’t look like her soul’s been ripped from her body. Why would you suggest such a thing?”
“Okay…” Nash said, dragging the word out as he took Nat’s bags from her.
“Had to be Rory, didn’t it?” Nat pinned Nash with a glare.
“Without a doubt,” he said without pause.
Rory rolled her eyes. “I can see you’re bein’ just as stubborn as usual, and I’m too exhausted to try to drag it out of you tonight. I’ve gotta be at the Wheelers’ at six a.m. tomorrow, so I’m goin’ to bed. The girls are at their daddy’s, so you can stay in Ava’s room.”
“I’ll be there in a minute, princess,” Nash murmured and swatted Rory’s ass as she walked by.
Nat had never had playful, intimate touches like those with anyone. Not until Asher, anyway. She squeezed her eyes shut, remembering when he’d hauled her over his shoulder and slapped her ass just like that. Had given her adventure right there in Havenbrook because he’d known she needed it.
She opened her eyes to find Nash staring at her, his arms crossed and face blank.
He waited until a door snicked shut down the hallway, and then he raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think you fooled anyone with this, do you?”
“Fooled anyone with what?”
“I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen you cry, Nat. In my whole life. So you wanna try that again?”
“Like I was tellin’ Rory, these are happy tears. Obviously. I’m thrilled with this! So thrilled, in fact, I thought I’d head out to Ireland a little early for my shoot comin’ up.”
“Right,” he said, nodding, his eyes scrutinizing in a way that made her shift uncomfortably on her feet. “You might be able to get this past Rory because y’all have only started gettin’ closer, but you’re not gettin’ it by me. I know you, and I know him. And you’re both idiots.”
“And you’re the idiot who’s friends with us both.”
“You can deflect all you want, but I’ve got you two figured out.”
“Oh, please, enlighten me.”
“You love denying, and he’d find a way to give you the moon if that’s what you said you wanted. So, I’ve just gotta know, how far are you gonna ride out this lie you’re both tellin’ yourselves?”
The only lie she’d told herself had been that she could actually do this. That there’d been a place for her here in this town with Asher. Thinking that somehow she could go from being the girl who could never commit to anyone or anything, to being the one lucky enough to have that love reciprocated when she finally found the one.
“Look, dude, I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about. But you mind drivin’ me to the airport in the mornin’?”
He stared her down, but she refused to blink. Refused to even breathe, for fear that one sudden move would send her tears falling all over again. “For the flight that I bet hasn’t been changed at all?”
“You don’t know me.”
“Nattie, the only person who knows you better is the one you’re runnin’ from.”
She threw up her hands in exasperation. “He said I was free to go, Nash, so that’s what I’m doin’. Now, can you drive me to the airport so I can get out of this godforsaken place early or not?”
He pulled her into his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. One would think that it’d feel the same, considering both he and Asher were her best friends and had been nearly the same amount of time. But it didn’t. There was no electricity here, no warmth seeping into her bones where he held her tight. Comfort, yes, but not need. “For the record, I think this is your dumbest idea. And we both know exactly how long that list is.”
“Are you gonna drop me off or not?”
He blew out a long-suffering sigh. “Yeah, Nattie. I got you.”
“Great, thanks.”
Perfect, in fact. While she didn’t love that she was leaving, she couldn’t say she wasn’t looking forward to boarding her first plane in a month. Traveling the world had always been a salve for her. Been how she escaped her life…her history…all the baggage she came with.
Hoped it would be how, too, she escaped this pain.