The Woman in the Back Room by Jessica Gadziala
Epilogue
Santi - 1 week
"You don't gotta be here, man," Brio said, fiddling with the collection of knives lined up on the bookshelf in the apartment he'd just illegally let us into.
It was small even by New York standards, with peeling paint, punch holes in the walls, and roaches circling the sink drain.
He was both right and wrong.
I didn't have to be there. I knew that Brio could handle this job. But that didn't mean it was right to pawn it off on him.
It was important that I had a hand in ending the life of the man who'd taken my son's mother from him.
And it was also important because I had to make my bones eventually. I'd been allowed into the Family on good faith that I would eventually do what every other made man in the mafia had to do.
Take a life.
If I was going to do it, I much preferred it being someone I personally had a lot of anger toward.
Because while Avi was doing okay, while he was adjusting to his new life, there were times you could still find a faraway look in his eyes, when you knew he was thinking about his mother, missing her.
The man who took her from him didn't deserve to just keep on living, likely getting hired to take more fathers and mothers away from loved ones whose lives would be a little bit emptier because of their greed and heartlessness.
If I had to kill, I was glad to have a reason.
"Yes, I do," I countered, shrugging as I watched Brio go through the kitchen drawers.
He always had to be doing something, it seemed. Always touching shit that didn't belong to him.
At least he had gloves on this time.
The cops were pretty fucking useless in our neck of the woods, solving only a quarter of all serious crimes, and they sure weren't going to be busting their asses to find the people who killed a couple of killers, but we had to be careful. The city had a stick up their asses about the mafia ever since they realized they could use RICO charges against us. I guess it was a real feather in their caps to bring one of us in rather than some low-level wheel or trigger man.
So we had to be careful.
Which was why, despite my gloves, I was keeping my hands to myself. I couldn't take unnecessary risks. Unlike Brio, I had a kid to think about, a future with a woman I cared about to consider as well.
It felt a bit like we were a couple of teenagers, sneaking around all the time. But not from our parents, just my grieving son.
We'd almost been caught a few times.
Once, when Avi had a stomach ache—likely from all the street food he and Alessa had eaten on their way home from the movies—and had knocked, but started to open the door without waiting for a response.
Alessa had flung herself over my body and onto the floor, disappearing under the bed like some fucking spy movie or some shit.
Another night, we'd been on the couch in the living room, having a late-night drink that ended up making us a little loose and careless, leaving us with our hands down each other's pants when Avi's door opened, and we flew apart like someone had dropped ice on us.
We needed to be more careful. At least for a while.
It was hard, though. There were at least a dozen times a night when I wanted to reach for her, to kiss her. I was trying to convince myself that it just made our private time after Avi went to bed even more special. And it was. But I was looking forward to a day when I didn't have to hold myself back.
I think that day would be important to the clearly uncertain Alessa, too.
I didn't think she was uncertain about me, per se. But because relationships were something new to her, because she'd never known a man she was interested in sharing her life with, because she was scared of losing someone she'd started giving herself to, I thought it might reassure her if she didn't feel like everything was a big after-dark-only secret.
"You should take her out," Brio said, pulling me out of my swirling thoughts.
"What?"
"Alessa. You should take her out," he said, finding a particularly jagged steak knife in the draw, nodding at it, then slipping it into his pocket. "Send the kid to his grandma's or uncle's for the night, and take your girl out. Like two normal people."
"That's... that's actually a really good idea."
"I got some of 'em," he agreed, shrugging, moving toward the front windows, looking out.
I was a little disappointed in myself for not thinking of that sooner.
Of course I should take Alessa out.
Knowing her, she'd probably never had a proper date in her life. She wouldn't have wanted one when she'd been so committed to non-commitment. But now that she was willing to give it a try with me, she needed the whole experience of courtship, even if we were sort of working backward with the whole thing.
It didn't matter.
What mattered was the thought, the effort.
"Take her somewhere fancy," Brio added, grin wicked. "I want to see her try to walk in heels."
I wanted to see that too.
I made a mental note to set it up even as the both of us heard footsteps on the steps.
Brio moved across the apartment, getting into position behind the door so he could close it and block the only exit. Sure, there was technically a fire escape in the bedroom, but it wasn't fully connected to the brick wall of the apartment building. No full-grown man could put his weight on it without the whole thing falling several stories to the street below.
The door opened as my adrenaline kicked into overdrive.
My hand slipped to find my gun, pulling it out as the two men moved inside the apartment, jumping when Brio slammed the door behind them.
"Scream and I'll drag this shit out," Brio said, waving his gun at the two men. "Don't you two fucking idiots know better than to mess with the mob?" he asked, clicking his tongue at them as realization dawned on them.
"We didn't know, man," one of them insisted, holding his hands up. "We just took a job. A job like any other job. We had no fucking idea the bitch belonged to some mob guy."
"That 'bitch' was the mother of my son," I said, surprised I could get the words out with how tight my jaw was.
I figured this part was going to be difficult for me. Taking a life. But all I could picture as I looked these two bastards was the way my son's face crumpled when I'd told him that his mother died. And all I felt was pure, undiluted rage.
"Which one of you is Junior?" Brio asked as the two men looked around with wild eyes.
"Him, man," the other one, Brian, said, jerking his chin toward his friend.
"Fucking traitor," Junior snapped, furious despite the situation.
He wouldn't live long enough to grow bitter about his friend ratting him out.
"Then he's yours," Brio said, waving his gun toward the man who'd pulled the trigger.
The other one, Brian, took that opportunity to attempt to get away through the door to the hall.
The bullet ripped through his skull before he could even get a hand on the knob.
Brio had been under strict instructions not to fuck around on this job. He hadn't been happy about it. The fucker likes to play around before killing someone.
"Scream and we will gag you and slice your digits off one by one," Brio warned Junior who'd sucked in a breath to do just that. "You're going to die tonight. Don't be a pussy about it," he added.
After that, he gave me a nod as he leaned down to grab the legs of Brian's corpse, dragging him a few feet to the side, out of the way of the door. "Shit man, you should have eaten some more salads," Brio grumbled, struggling a bit to move the dead weight. "Wouldn't have helped with the whole longevity thing, but woulda made my job easier," he mumbled, grunting as he shoved the man back against the wall to the kitchen.
"You," I said, moving closer toward the man who'd shot Brit, smelling piss, seeing the tears glistening in his eyes. I should have felt something then, I knew. Pity, or something of the like.
But all I saw was my son on his upcoming first Christmas morning without his mother, the way the holiday would never quite feel the same for him.
There was no pity in me in that moment.
"Get on your knees," I demanded, moving closer, sliding my finger to the trigger of the gun in my hand, finding it somehow almost lighter than it had felt when I'd pulled it out of its holster.
"Must be deaf along with stupid," Brio said, walking behind the man, kicking him in the back of the knee until he went down on it hard. "There we go," he said, giving me a nod as he moved out of the way.
I lifted the gun.
I pressed it against the forehead of my son's mother's murderer.
And I pulled the trigger.
Then I went home, kissed my son goodnight, and asked my woman out on a date.
Alessa - 2 weeks
I was a grown-ass woman who'd never been on a proper date before.
There was a part of me that wanted to consider that pathetic.
But there was another part of me that was kind of glad because I knew that Santi would blow any other attempts at a proper first date out of the park.
That was just the kind of man he was. He was good at planning, at putting in effort, in making sure things were to his exact specifications.
And because I knew he would put in the maximum amount of effort, I'd decided to put in some as well. Which meant I'd agreed to allowing Celeste to dress me since I had no idea where we were going, or what I should wear. I'd never really been someone to abide by dress codes. But for Santi, for this date he had planned, I wanted to do it right.
But that didn't mean I was willing to follow Celeste around town for hours trying on outfits. It meant I gave her free rein to buy me whatever she thought was appropriate, and leave it for me to put on after she took Avi to her house for a sleepover.
I figured if anyone knew how to dress, it was Celeste.
But maybe I should have given her some sort of input beforehand, because when I unzipped the black garment bag to dress after my shower, I was having second thoughts, wondering if maybe a pair of slacks and a simple black shirt would be appropriate instead.
Celeste had gone with a classic black dress, thank goodness. But that was where our similar tastes started and ended.
First of all, she'd gone with tight. And low-cut. While the hem wasn't short, the slit up the thigh certainly was.
"Ugh," I grumbled, pulling out the dress, and laying it across the bed.
I didn't know what the problem was. It wasn't like I had any issues with my body. Many of the things I wore were tight as well. But there was something about the soft fabric, about the femininity of it all that almost, well intimidated me.
Things that were soft and feminine had never been positive in my life.
As the child of a under-protective sex worker, I'd always tried to wear things that were baggy and boyish, not wanting any of the men that were constantly around to think of me as girly, as someone they'd want to fuck. Because I knew my mother would have let them have me.
Then, when I escaped that hell, I'd found myself in a male-dominated world where masculinity was the standard, and femininity was forbidden.
I'd shaped my whole identity around the idea that being too girly was dangerous or undesirable.
Maybe, just this once, it would be okay to let all those preconceived notions go. I mean, after all, if there was a man who I knew it was safe to be myself around—in all my good and bad forms—it was Santi.
Besides, I had a feeling the look in his eyes when I walked out in that dress would be priceless.
Decision made, I grabbed the small silk satchel inside the garment bag, finding a simple bra and thong set. All black. Lacy. Pretty and soft to the touch. I slid them on, then took myself to the bathroom with the small bag from the cosmetic store Celeste had also included.
I didn't have a great hand with makeup, but I knew how to darken my brows, curl and color my lashes, and glide the red lipstick over my lips.
I'd barely put any effort into it really, but the change was dramatic regardless.
Taking a deep breath, I let my hair down from its clip, letting it tumble down around my shoulders, knowing Santi had a thing for my hair.
Finally, I slid into the dress, then stepped back from the mirror to check out the effect.
I had to give it up to Celeste. The woman knew what she was doing.
I practically looked like a different woman.
Taking a deep breath, I moved out into the bedroom, glaring at the shoebox on the bed.
Celeste loved her icepick heels.
I was not looking forward to teetering around like a newborn foal, much to the delight of everyone around me. But I didn't own anything even remotely appropriate either.
So I opened the box.
"Oh, you're a saint among women," I mumbled to myself, breathing a sigh of relief when I found a pair of black kitten heels.
I strapped them on, took a deep breath, and made my way to the door.
Anticipation sizzled across every nerve ending as I moved out into the hall.
Then there was Santiago, looking as amazing as ever in his black suit.
His gaze had been on the watch he was putting on his wrist.
But at the quiet click of my low heels, his gaze lifted.
Oh, yeah.
That look in his eyes was worth any initial discomfort I'd felt about the outfit.
"You're beautiful," he declared, his words making my belly wobble.
"Thank you," I said, offering him what felt like a wobbly smile.
With the way he was looking at me, I almost wanted to say screw the date, and have him take me right back to bed.
Almost.
But I let him lead me downstairs instead, put me in his car, and drive me across town to a restaurant I'd never even heard of, but looked like it cost half a year's rent to eat at.
We were led toward the back where the tall-backed booths were situated, creating a small amount of privacy in the otherwise busy restaurant.
Where Santiago ordered us wine and entrees.
In Italian.
"That was way hotter than it should be," I declared when the waitress moved off, only eye-banging Santi a little bit. Hell, I couldn't even be mad. I would have eye-banged him in her position as well. And it didn't matter what she did, because his gaze was locked on me. "Do you know anything other than food in Italian?" I asked, scooting closer in the semicircle booth, leaning into him.
His arm slid around my lower back, fingers curling into my hip.
"I might know a couple of other things," he said, voice low, sexy.
"Oh yeah?" I asked shifting in my seat, more turned on than was appropriate for a public place.
"Mmhmm," Santi murmured, seemingly similarly affected as his hand started drifting downward, finding the risqué slit of my skirt, and teasing up the exposed skin of my thigh.
"Like what?" I asked as my thighs spread ever so slightly, a silent invitation. And Santi didn't even pause as his fingers slid inward, moved up my inner thigh, then pressed up against my barely-there panties.
"Bagnata," he murmured, voice husky. "Wet," he clarified as his fingers started to tease me. He paused for the briefest moment when the server came back with the wine, but started right up again when they walked away, this time sliding under my panties, tracing down my cleft, then sliding two fingers inside me. "Stretta," he groaned. "Tight," he added, thrusting his fingers inside me as his thumb found my clit.
"You have to stop," I demanded, turning my head into his neck as he started to drive me up.
A low grumble moved through him, knowing I was right, that someone would notice eventually.
His fingers left my panties, but grabbed my hand instead, pulling me out of the booth.
"Where are we going?" I asked. "We have food coming," I added as he started to pull me toward the hall where the bathrooms were located.
"Don't worry, I will have you back for your dinner," he said, shooting me a smirk over his shoulder. "I know better than to get between you and your food."
"Santi, that's restricted," I said in a hushed whisper as he bypassed the bathrooms, and pushed open a door that said Employees Only.
"Yep," he agreed, yanking me inside, and slamming me back against the door before reaching to lock it.
"What if..." I started as he lowered himself down in front of me in the small storage room.
"The owner is in debt to us," Santi explained, pulling up my skirt, holding it in a fist at my hip as his other hand yanked my panties to the side.
His mouth was on me before I could find any other objections.
And, well, when this man's mouth was licking and sucking your clit, you didn't care anymore about the borderline illegality of what you were doing, or even who might overhear you as you struggled to keep your whimpers and moans inside.
"Santi," I whimpered, close. So close.
But at the sound of his name, he pulled away from me, gaining his feet, and working his button and fly zipper, and pulling out his thick cock with one hand while the other yanked down my panties, then grabbed my knee, spread my thigh wide for him, then slammed inside me.
My ragged moan was muffled by his hand on my mouth as he started to thrust. Hard. Fast. Both of us aware of how exposed we were, despite the locked door.
I moaned into his palm as he cursed and hissed and groaned into my ear.
"Come, baby," he growled as he felt my walls tightening, felt me getting close. "Come," he demanded again, his free hand moving between my thighs to work my clit as he continued to fuck me.
And just like that, I did.
Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I blacked out.
And that his palm just barely muffled my scream as the waves crashed over and over, milking his orgasm from him.
"Fuck," he said after, sharing a private, guilty little smile with me.
"That sums it up," I agreed, snatching my panties from him as he tucked himself away. "Bathroom trip, then back to the table. Fair warning," I said, reaching to undo the lock, "if my food is cold, I'm going to grumble."
I checked out into the hall, then rushed across it to the bathroom, hearing him chuckle from behind me.
He made it back to the table first.
"You're lucky," I said when I noticed the plates of food still steaming as I scooted in at his side.
"Yeah, baby," he agreed, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear. "I am," he said, making my belly wobble at the sincerity in his words.
That he felt lucky to have me.
There was no mistaking how lucky I was to have him.
"Me too," I mumbled softly, then started to stuff my face to avoid any further conversation.
By the time we made it back to the apartment, I felt warm and fuzzy inside. And I knew it had nothing to do with the alcohol or the food, but everything to do with the man who peeled me out of my clothes and spent the entire night worshipping my body, both of us being as loud as we pleased, and doing it against damn near every surface in the apartment.
Perfect.
It was perfect.
He was perfect.
And we were very nearly perfect.
That day was only going to come when Avi was in on the situation with us.
And that time would come.
But as I did a naked dash across the hall to the back room the next morning when we heard keys in the door, letting out a rolling laugh as I collapsed back against the door, I decided I was okay with sneaking around for a little bit longer.
Santi - 3.5 weeks
My heart was in my throat as Alessa and I heard Avi stirring in his room.
We had no idea what to expect from him on his first Christmas without his mom, and we'd admittedly gone a bit overboard on the gifts to try to inject joy into the day regardless of any possible low moods.
All three of us had decorated the tree together the week before. It had been a fun and somber event somehow at the same time, since it had always been something Avi, Brit, and I had done in the past. But having Alessa around to gush over all of Avi's handmade ornaments, and ask about the ones we'd picked up on vacations had given Avi a bit of a distraction as he explained the meaning of some, or blushed over how badly he'd colored outside the lines in his ornaments from his early childhood.
We'd all been up late the night before, watching just about every Christmas movie in creation while eating Chinese food which was, in Alessa's opinion, a tradition of some sort.
Then she'd put Avi to bed, and we had Brio and Salvatore show up with the presents we'd stashed at their apartments since Avi didn't believe anymore, and was a snoop of epic proportions.
The presents spilled out from under the tree in brightly colored, mismatched, happy paper. Most were from me, with a lot of insight from Alessa on which video games or electronics or board games to pick up. But my mom, brother, and a bunch of the guys had also dropped off boxes as well.
"I'm still a little worried about that giant wooden crate from Brio," Alessa mumbled as we heard Avi coming toward the door. "I say if it is something sharp and dangerous, we stab Brio with it on principle."
"Deal," I agreed with a chuckle, giving her leg a squeeze as we rose from the couch.
"Merry Christmas!" we both called as soon as my bleary-eyed son moved out into the hallway, still rubbing the sleep from his lashes.
"Merry Chris..." he started before his eyes landed on the tree. And the over-abundance of cheer we'd bought for him. "Wow," he said, eyes huge.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Alessa said, throwing a hand up. "If I had a pile like that at your age, I would be ripping packages open with each hand and my teeth," she declared, dropping down onto the couch with her cup of coffee.
She'd given me her present before we'd even gotten up to brush our teeth.
I swear she'd opened her eyes, half rolled off the bed, reached under, and produced a box in red and white striped paper.
"I racked my brain on what to get the man who has everything," she said as I reached for the tucks of paper at the side, my heart swelling in my chest that she'd gotten me anything at all. It had been a long time since I had a Christmas present that wasn't from my mother or brother or son.
And what did I find in the box, you might be wondering.
A box of x-rated toys.
We'd gone ahead and tried one or two out before we'd finally gotten out of bed to get some coffee.
I'd struggled a bit with her present, so accustomed to buying things like jewelry or perfume, but knowing she had no interest in anything like that.
"Here, baby," I whispered, handing her the oversized box.
Avi paused in his gift opening to watch Alessa tear at the paper to find... well... a suitcase.
"Oh," she said, a half smile frozen on her lips as she looked up at me.
"Open it," I suggested, smiling at her confusion.
Inside, she found the tickets and itinerary to the two-week trip to all the theme parks in Florida.
"Oh. My. God," she gasped, shooting me a wide-mouthed, round-eyed look.
"What is it?" Avi asked.
"Your dad is taking us to Disney!" she said, practically vibrating with enthusiasm.
"Oh, think of the rides!" Avi said, just as excited as she was.
"Think of the food!" Alessa shot back.
I watched her jump up, likely wanting to throw her arms around me, but remembering herself at the last second.
"This is the best gift," she said, voice a little thick. "Thank you."
"I figured it would be good for all of us to get away after the new year," I told her, patting the spot next to me so I could give her a small hug when Avi was distracted by his presents again.
"That's it," Avi declared, looking a little dazed an hour later.
Chaos was around him. Boxes and paper and partially-opened toys.
"Actually," Alessa said, getting up and walking over toward the fireplace, grabbing a small box I'd somehow missed before, and bringing it back over toward the couch, patting the coffee table for him. "I got you one extra one," she said, making my heart constrict that she'd gone out of her way to get him something else after she'd already spent so much time helping me pick out presents for him.
Avi dropped down on the coffee table, taking the present from her slowly, like he was afraid he might break it as Alessa gave my knee a little squeeze.
"Go on, bud," she said, snapping him out of his daze.
He ripped off the paper, producing what looked like a jewelry box.
I was proven right a moment later when I saw a round necklace pendant with a black background and a silver cross on the front.
"Open it," she suggested softly. "The little button on the side," she added when he fumbled.
I had no idea what he found inside, but his eyes immediately welled up.
"So you can have her close to you all the time," Alessa explained a second before Avi launched himself at her, crying into her shoulder.
"Thank... you," he managed between sniffles.
Alessa's arm held him tight, her own eyes glassy as she reached to flip the pendant toward me, showing me the picture of Brit she'd had placed inside.
God, this woman.
I didn't know what I'd done in my life to deserve her, but I would never stop being thankful that she was there. With me. And with Avi. Who she loved as much as she would love her own.
At that moment, I didn't care so much about being careful.
I turned and wrapped my arms around both of them and held on tight, pressing a kiss to Alessa's forehead as she rested her cheek against Avi's head.
"Who could that be?" Alessa asked at the unexpected knock at the door that made all of us break apart.
"That's for me," Avi declared, hopping off of Alessa's lap, wiping hard at his cheeks with his sleeves, still gripping his necklace in his fist as he moved across the apartment to the door, opening it for Brio. Of all people.
"Merry merry, all," Brio declared, walking in with a, I shit you not, a red Santa hat on. "I'm on my way to Celeste's," he said. "But the little man needed me to stop by to drop off Alessa's present," he said, handing the box he was holding off to Avi. "Easy, man," he instructed, getting a serious nod from Avi before he turned to walk back into the living room.
"Close your eyes," Avi demanded. "Both of you," he added firmly when only Alessa shut hers.
"You really didn't have to get me anything, bud," she said, voice soft.
"I wanted to," Avi said. "Okay. Open," he said.
I saw it the same second Alessa did, sucking in her breath on a loud gasp.
"Oh, oh you saint of a child," she gushed, eyes wet as she looked at the snow-white, blue-eyed bunny in his hands.
"Uncle Brio worked really hard to find it," Avi said, a little uncomfortable as Alessa's tears started to slide down her cheeks as she reached for the rabbit, pulling it to her chest, and resting her cheek against its soft fur.
"Had to go to Bumfuck Nowhere, Jersey to some little farm to get it," Brio said, smiling huge, glad to be a part of the scheme to get Alessa the same kind of bunny she'd wanted as a little girl.
"Do you like it?" Avi asked, shifting his feet.
"No," Alessa said, shooting him a big smile, dimples on full display. "I love it."
"Got you all the shit to go with it," Brio added, waving toward the crate we'd both been eyeing from him earlier.
"This was why I kept catching you two whispering," I said, looking over at Brio.
"The kid and I, we hatched the idea after Alessa got shot," Brio explained. That explained his strange questions about her school class rabbit when Avi had been picking out a stuffed rabbit for Alessa's flower arrangement.
"Well, this is a great time to give you my present then," Alessa declared, getting up with the rabbit clutched to her chest, and finding the one for Brio amongst the pile we had for my family.
Brio opened it with a boyish enthusiasm, eyes brightening as he looked at the massive encyclopedia-length book. "Torture Through the Ages," he read off the title, shooting Alessa a big smile. "You get me."
"I do," she agreed, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you," she said, voice a little thick.
"You're welcome. It's a girl, by the way. Figure you're surrounded with enough dudes in this Family. I have to get going, though. Salvatore and I are helping Mama Dukes set up for dinner," he said, meaning my mother, who had become a sort of adopted mother to the two practically orphaned men. "Merry Christmas," he said, head, heading toward the door.
"So, what are you gonna name it?" Avi asked as she sat back down.
"I have no idea. Do you have any ideas?" she asked.
"We can call her Mopsy," Avi said. "From the Peter Cottontail book," he explained. "He had two sisters. Flopsy and Mopsy. Or their mom was Josephine."
"I like that. That's pretty," Alessa decided. "What do you think?" she asked, looking down at the rabbit. "Are you a Josephine?" she asked. "She said yes," Alessa declared. "Do you want to hold her?" she asked to an enthusiastic Avi who got down on the floor to hold the rabbit.
As soon as she decided he was okay with the rabbit, Alessa jerked her head toward the kitchen, wanting me to follow her.
"I, ah, I had no idea," she said, tone apologetic. "I understand if you don't want to have any animals in the house. I can keep her at my..."
"Stop," I interrupted. "It's fine. And I would really like it if you started to think of this as your place too," I told her. "I know we can't officially move all your shit in until Avi knows, but think of it as home, okay?"
"I do," she admitted in a low whisper, glancing back at Avi who was chasing the bunny down the hallway before pressing a hand to my stomach. "My apartment doesn't even feel like mine anymore," she added. "This is home."
"Ah, Less?" Avi called. "Josephine sort of, ah, pooped down the hallway," he said, shooting us both a horrified look.
"Yeah, we should probably crack open that crate Uncle Brio brought, and hope he got a litter box," Alessa said, shooting me a playful grimace.
We spent the whole morning and early afternoon together, setting up the rabbit's little home which included an enclosure made of see-through plastic panels, a litter box, a hideaway box, a bed, food and water dishes, and what had to be a hundred dollars worth of toys.
The rabbit was living large.
Brio had always been good at going over the top with shit.
I didn't even care that my kid and Brio hadn't cleared it with me first because I constantly caught Alessa shooting moon-eyes over at the bunny as she got to know her new enclosure.
I didn't give a fuck if I ended up horribly allergic, the woman was keeping that bunny.
We needed to go our separate ways for dinner, each going to our respective families.
"Now, you know the drill," Alessa said, standing out front of the apartment building. "You make sure you steal at least two pieces of each cake or pie to bring home," she said, giving Avi a firm look. "Don't disappoint me," she added, reaching out to rustle his hair, then when he was distracted, reaching to give my hand a squeeze.
We would end up eating some of those pies on the couch watching Christmas movies while Josephine hopped around the main area and Avi slept like a log after a long day full of a million gifts.
He had his hand clutched around his locket necklace, but his legs resting over Alessa's lap.
Perfect.
It was so fucking perfect.
Maybe it was soon to think it, but I wanted this exact scene year after year.
I wanted it forever.
Alessa - 5 months
Santi and I actually contacted a shrink to ask when it would be appropriate to tell Avi that we were dating.
She'd been only partially helpful, declaring it was different on a case-by case-basis. But she said it wouldn't be unheard of to have the discussion sometime between six months and a year.
Which felt like forever to us.
But we also knew it didn't change much except being able to show affection around Avi.
So we decided to aim for the six month mark, but were willing to wait longer if it seemed like Avi wasn't ready yet.
Those were issues for another day, though.
Because it was Avi's birthday that he'd been talking about endlessly for months. Like, the kid could talk. And as much as we loved him, we'd both started zoning out a bit when he prattled on about it since his ideas for the event changed whenever the wind blew.
Eventually, though, we'd gotten him to settle on a Coney Island birthday with a bunch of his friends followed by a big family dinner at our place.
Santi and I were regretting agreeing to both by the time we finished up at the amusement park, both of us exhausted with tired feet and aching heads.
But Avi was still wired and excited.
So we did what exhausted grown-ups had been doing since the beginning of time for the kids they loved.
We rallied.
We put on happy faces.
And we faked it.
We faked it hard.
Pinched, high-pitched voices and big smiles and enthusiastic ooh and ahh over each present he opened from our families.
We saw the sheet cake coming out as the home stretch, as a chance for the apartment to clear out, so we could get some peace and quiet. And maybe a couple drinks.
So we did the singing thing.
And we cheered when Avi blew out his candles.
"What'd you wish for, little man?" Brio asked, nudging Avi.
"He's not supposed to tell anyone," Salvatore griped.
"I wished that Dad and Less would stop pretending they don't love each other," the kid declared, making Santi choke on his sip of coffee, and my eyes damn near bulge out of my head.
There was a moment of shocked silence before Brio declared, "See, man, told you that you weren't fooling the kid."
"Avi," I started, feeling a little out of my depths.
"You love Dad, right?" he asked, looking up at me with those bright eyes.
"I, ah, yeah," I said, looking over at Santi, realizing that while I'd said it in my head a million times, I'd never actually told him out loud. "Yeah, I love your Dad," I said, watching as his eyes went soft.
"And Dad, you love Less, right?" Avi asked.
"Yeah, bud, I love Less," he said, giving me a soft smile. "We just weren't sure you were okay with it," he added, looking back at his son, and I suddenly wished we weren't having this very important conversation around half a dozen of our loved ones.
"It's okay," he said, shrugging. "I love Less too," he said. "And you said that Mom would think that was okay."
"Yeah, bud," I said, nodding. "She would."
"I think she'd like Less."
"Sure," Santi agreed, even though we both knew that, had the world been a fairer place, Brit and I would have gotten along for Avi's sake, we were very different people.
"So stop pretending," Avi said, shrugging as he took the knife Brio handed him to cut the first piece of cake.
We figured he was done.
But then he took his plate, and started to move around the counter.
When he dropped his next bomb.
"I want a little brother," he declared.
"Whoa whoa whoa, pump the brakes there, dude," I said, holding my hands up. "Your dad and I haven't even talked about that."
Though, to be honest, I'd thought about it quite a bit over the past few weeks.
I hadn't really thought about kids before. I figured I was young and I had plenty of time if I wanted any, but that, you know, I was probably never going to find a man who wanted to put up with me forever, so it wasn't likely going to happen.
But I'd caught myself daydreaming about a kid that was a little bit Santi and a little bit me.
"Oh," Avi said, not done, clearly enjoying himself and the chaos he was creating. "And Dad, you should give her the ring," he said, nodding.
"What?" I hissed, looking from the kid to his father with eyes that felt like they were minutes away from popping out of my skull. "What ring?"
"I found it when I was getting treats for Josephine," Avi said, shrugging.
"You kept a ring in the lettuce drawer?" I asked, looking over at Santi.
"Well, I knew it was the one place you would never find it," Santi said, smile huge, even if his eyes were just as confused as I felt.
I let out a laugh at that.
Because he was right.
"You kinda gotta give it to her now, man," Brio said.
Both of us looked over at Avi who had a mischievous smirk on his face.
"He's right," Avi said, nodding.
Clearly, we hadn't been as good at hiding our relationship as we'd thought. Because the kid seemed like he had known for a while.
"Well," Santi said, going into the fridge. "I had a plan for this," he said, fishing the ring box out of the vegetable drawer, flipping it open. "But it seems like our kid has his own plan in mind," he said.
Our kid.
Yes.
God, yes, I liked how that sounded.
The ring wasn't typical. It had three stones. Two larger black stones that flanked a smaller center diamond.
And I knew it was supposed to represent the three of us.
Becoming a family in an official way.
"Marry me," Santi said, voice and eyes soft as my gaze lifted from the ring to his face.
"Yes. Yes, absolutely," I said, smile huge.
I'd never been more sure of something in my life.
Me, Santi, and Avi.
It was everything I never knew I wanted.
But now that I had it, I was never going to let go.
