Just One Night Together by Deborah Cooke

Eleven

Haley had a verybad feeling about Damon’s nightmare.

It was horrible to watch. He was muttering under his breath, his head jerking back and forth. His hands were clenched into fists and his teeth were bared. He’d kicked his way free of the blanket and his whole body was tense.

Vibrating.

She could feel the tension emanating from him in waves. She wanted to intervene, to help him, to wake him up, but was afraid she might make it worse somehow. She’d never seen someone so tormented.

Then he yelled someone’s name, shouted it loud enough to raise the roof—or raise the dead. Had it been Foster? Haley wasn’t sure. He flung himself from the bed, almost catapulting into the air before he landed in a crouch on the floor. She was reminded of Spider-Man for the barest instant. She could have sworn he was awake, because he was surveying the room for whatever villain he fought.

But his eyes were closed.

He was breathing heavily and the light glistened in the perspiration on his back. The pillow had fallen from the bed when he erupted from it, and he suddenly fell on it as if he meant to crush it flat. He gripped it with his hands, twisting it with terrifying force.

Like he was wringing someone’s neck. He was shredding it, savage in his efficiency.

Haley took a step backward. Would he injure himself? She couldn’t bear it if he did, and she couldn’t stand to see him suffer so.

“Damon,” she said softly.

His head jerked up immediately.

She said his name again, a little louder.

His eyes flew open and he looked at her as if astonished to find her there. He scanned the room and rose to his feet with athletic grace, then seized his underwear and jeans. He dressed with such relentless speed that Haley’s dread rose. He was walking toward her as he hauled on a clean shirt, but he didn’t stop. He just touched her elbow and led her toward the stairs, marching her toward the foyer. His lips were set in a grim line and he didn’t meet her gaze.

“What’s going on?” she asked when he didn’t say anything.

“You’re going home. I’m taking you there.”

“Don’t I get a vote in this?”

“No.” She saw the furious flash of his eyes before he bent to tug on his boots. He grabbed his jacket and put it on, then glared at her, probably because she hadn’t moved.

Haley folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t want to go home.”

“I’ll walk you wherever you want to go.”

“What if I want to stay here?”

“You’re out of luck.”

Haley shook her head. “Because you have nightmares, I can’t stay here?”

“That’s pretty much it, yes.”

“That’s stupid and you know it.”

“Stupid!”

Haley took a step back as Damon lost his temper for the first time in her experience.

“Stupid!” he repeated, then flung out a hand. “Did you see what I did up there? What’s stupid is any suggestion that you stay!”

“I don’t agree. I think you need company.”

“No!” Damon ground out the words. “That’s the last thing I need right now.”

Haley felt her own eyes narrow. “You’re trying to protect me from yourself again.”

“Yes, I am, and with good cause. If you’d been asleep, I could have killed you. There would have been nothing you could do about it, and I wouldn’t have even known what I was doing until it was over.” He swallowed, his throat working in agitation. “Until it was too late.”

“You don’t know that for sure. You might have chosen the pillow...”

“I don’t know for sure! That’s the fucking point, Haley! It isn’t worth taking that kind of a chance.” Damon reached for the deadbolt, unlocked it, then opened the door. He met her gaze again. “We’ve reached the end of that good bit,” he said. “You need to go.”

Haley could have argued with him. She could have seduced him. But if he thought this was the end of the good bit, then it must be.

She pulled on her boots and grabbed her bag.

She wasn’t going to cry, much less beg. “It was really good. Thanks.” She held Damon’s gaze as she fastened her coat, then walked past him and out the door. She didn’t look back. She didn’t stare at the sidewalk. She kept her head high.

Did he watch her? Haley told herself she couldn’t have cared less.

Did he follow her? Haley told herself that she didn’t want him to.

Did he call out after her? Haley closed her eyes, hoping he wouldn’t and fearing he would.

Because there was something about Damon that drew her back over and over again, something that made him impossible to ignore or resist, something—she was starting to wonder—that really might break her heart.

It was hurting pretty badly already.

Walking away now was the smart choice.

He didn’t call her name or follow her. At the end of the block, Haley saw a cab and hailed it, never looking back. She folded her arms across her chest and fought her tears as she sat in the back.

She’d squeezed every moment out of the good bit and told herself to be glad.

But Haley, despite her best efforts, wasn’t glad at all.

* * *

Haley had just openeda can of tuna when her phone rang. It was her mom. She gave half the tuna to the cat, then answered. “Hi Mom.”

“Hello, honey. Are you busy?”

“Not particularly.”

“You sound blue.”

“Maybe a little.”

“That time of year is coming up. I’ve been thinking about your dad’s birthday, too.” Her mom sighed. “Every year I think it should get easier but it never does.”

“No,” Haley admitted around the lump in her throat. “It never does.” She watched the cat eat and decided it was easier to let her mom think the approaching birthday was the reason she was down in the dumps. She wondered how she could call him Ninja and not think about Damon eighty-seven million times a day.

Maybe she would anyway.

She was going to miss him, and not just because she liked the way he said thanks.

“But I have something to tell you!” her mom enthused.

“You’re pregnant,” Haley guessed, an old joke between the two of them.

“No!” Her mom laughed, then sobered. “Are you?”

“No.” Haley thought about not using condoms every single time.

Probably not.

She counted on her fingers and didn’t think so.

“Because there are lots of reasons to be feeling glum besides your dad’s birthday.”

Haley winced. Her mom was too perceptive. “It’s winter. With less sunshine and more people grumpy about the weather, it’s easy to feel less than happy all the time.”

“True enough.” Her mom’s tone became crisp. “So, here’s the thing. They posted the details about that new position and I wanted to make sure you knew about it.”

“Mom, you know I’m not going to leave New York.”

“Why not? You always said you’d move wherever you found the best opportunity and this is a great one.” Her mom cleared her throat. “If your career is first, then you can’t overlook this chance.”

“True.” The cat finished his meal, cleaned his dish and sniffed at the can of tuna. He sat down and curled his tail around himself, then gave her an expectant look. Haley propped the phone against her shoulder and put the rest of the tuna in his bowl. The tip of his tail flicked as she did it, and it seemed that his eye glowed with satisfaction.

Apparently, big dark brooding males could convince her to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.

“This is an opportunity you don’t want to miss,” her mom continued. Haley wasn’t really listening. She was watching the cat. How long had it been since someone pampered him? His coat was beautifully black but it didn’t have as much of a sheen as she thought it should. She’d felt his ribs the one time he’d let her pat him, too.

Well, she was going to take care of him now.

She could almost hear Damon saying that she was making the cat a new project. She liked projects. Maybe she did need one.

Maybe the cat would have to do.

“Wait. Let me read from the memo.” Her mom cleared her throat, then named the hospital where she worked. “‘We are seeking a candidate to lead a revolutionary new program to explore alternative healing options and implement them in our facility.’” Haley blinked and started to listen more intently as her mom continued. “‘The successful candidate will have a solid understanding of such therapeutic options as well as experience in supplementing patient care with such strategies. The successful candidate will be expected to build a team and to operate independently of specific departments in the hospital, creating programs to benefit all patients and consulting to all departments in our facility.’ And then there’s a list of credentials that sounds like your résumé, Haley.”

“Wow,” Haley said, because her mom expected it and because it was true. “That sounds like a dream job.”

“Listen to the compensation,” her mom said, then read some more.

Haley straightened. She’d be able to buy a house herself on a salary like that, at least in a small town in Illinois. “Huh,” she said, not wanting to show too much enthusiasm.

Was it time to move?

“It’s perfect for you and it’s right here in town. You could move back here and we could see each other all the time.”

“Is that supposed to be a good thing or not?” Haley teased and her mom laughed.

“That’s what Brad said!”

They laughed together.

“It sounds amazing, Mom.”

“They could have written this memo with you in mind, dear.”

Haley could hear that her mom was bursting to ask if she’d apply. She bit her lip. What was holding her in New York? Not a whole lot. “I have the cat now,” she said, while she was thinking.

“So you said. He looks grumpy.”

“He is, pretty much.”

Her mom chuckled. “If anyone is going to turn him into a purring pussycat, it’ll be you.”

“So far, he’s not big on being touched, but we’re still getting used to each other.”

“You’ll wear him down, Haley. You always triumph.”

Haley stopped herself before she could confess anything about Damon. She thought of the service for his mom and decided that she wasn’t going to go unless he specifically invited her.

Maybe taking a chance with Damon had just been enough to show her what she was missing—or what she was denying herself by always playing it safe.

Maybe her mom was right and it was time for a fresh start. Haley wasn’t sure, but she was ready to take another chance.

“Can you email that memo to me?” she asked. “I’d like to apply.”

“I just knew it!” her mom said.

“No pulling strings for me,” Haley said but her mom was dismissive.

“You don’t need help with this, Haley. You’re ideal for this job and I reserve the right to tell anyone so who asks me.”

Haley smiled, knowing that was the best offer she’d get from her mom.

* * *

Apparently,Haley was perfect for the job. She had an email from the human resources department at the hospital at two minutes after nine on Monday morning. They wanted to schedule a telephone interview, which Haley booked for Wednesday afternoon, her day off, so she wouldn’t be watching the clock

She thought it went well, then knew it when she received another email Thursday morning. The HR person wanted to arrange an interview in person and asked to coordinate with Haley’s shifts. They were going to book flights for her to come for the interview.

Apparently, they had some budget to fill this position.

By dinner time Friday night, Haley was booked for three days in the Midwest. She was flying out the following Wednesday. Her brother Brad was going to pick her up and she’d stay overnight at the house—which he was in the midst of buying from her mom. She’d have the interview Thursday and fly home Friday afternoon. Her mom wanted her to stay over the weekend, since she had it off, but Haley had one of those days off for a reason.

She had something to do.

It might very well be the last time she was able to visit her dad on his birthday.

Even that thought made her clench up inside, but she had a feeling it was time for change.

When she asked for the extra time, her boss suggested that she take all of the following week, since her unused vacation was adding up. Haley agreed.

She hadn’t heard a thing from Damon, and told herself that was all she’d expected.

Had he booked a memorial service for his mom? Haley hoped so, but she wasn’t going to phone him to find out.

“We might be moving,” she told Ninja. He jumped up and strolled toward her, winding his way around her ankles, then looking up at her before meowing again. “Don’t worry. I won’t leave you.” She reached down and was surprised he didn’t move away. She rubbed behind his ears and he closed his eye, leaning into it for a moment. He even purred a bit, his tail flicking.

Haley crouched down to give him a good rub. “I’ll go down and ask the super to look in on you, make sure there’s fish in your dish. But I’m coming back. If I go to Illinois, we go together.” He meowed his approval of that, then gave her one of his intent looks, as if to say that he’d hold her to it.

When he jumped up and went to his favorite perch on the window sill, Haley went down to talk to the super.

* * *

Nathan Buchanan was grabbinga bagel on his way out the door to work. His mom was at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper while she finished her second cup of coffee. He couldn’t understand her obsession with the obituaries. Every day she read them and circled the names of any people she knew. The Saturday paper took her ages to read and she often got the ones from the city, too. Sometimes she had to dig out old yearbooks or address books to confirm whether she knew the person or not, especially if there wasn’t a picture.

Nate thought it was morbid. One thing he’d learned in Afghanistan was to make the most of every day, and savor every good thing in life—because you never knew when it would all go to hell. He wanted to focus on life, not death. Present, not past.

“Oh, isn’t this sad?” his mom said and he hoped she didn’t really want an answer.

“You could read the births and announcements,” he said. “That would offer more cheerful news.”

“Maybe I would if there were any brides or pregnancies in the family.”

“Don’t give me that, Mom. You only want the second if it comes after the first.”

His mom laughed then snapped the paper, refolding it so the article was on top. She tapped it. “Look at this. I remember seeing this ballerina dance. She was so beautiful.”

Nate glanced at the picture. It was old, but that didn’t hide the truth. “She is pretty.”

“Was. This picture has to be thirty years old. No, closer to forty. She defected from Russia, you know, for love.” His mom sighed, running her finger over the article. “Yes, here it is. She fell in love with a carpenter, Marco Perez, while on tour and dancing in New York almost exactly forty years ago. She defected to be with him and they had one son. Damon. Then the carpenter was killed in an accident. So sad...”

“Wait a minute.” Nate turned in the act of leaving the kitchen. “Her son was Damon Perez?”

“Is. Yes, his name is right here. He’d be about your age, I guess, Nat, maybe a little older, given the date of her defection.”

“I served with a guy named Damon Perez.” Nate returned to his mom’s side and took another look at the paper.

“I would think it’s a common name.”

“Yeah, but he was from Queens and his mom was a dancer. I think he said a ballet dancer. His dad had been a carpenter, but he was dead.”

“Really?” His mom handed him the paper and Nathan stood at the counter, so intent upon reading it that he forgot his bagel. “‘Survived by her son, Damon.’” He tapped the paper. “I bet this is him.”

“Don’t you know? I mean you keep in touch with a lot of your friends from the service.”

“Perez wasn’t pals with many people. He was kind of a loner.” Nathan waved his artificial hand. “He was there that day, my commanding officer actually.”

“Well, then, why didn’t you keep in touch?”

“He never answered me.”

His mom’s eyes brightened. “Do you think he blamed himself for the other young man’s death?”

“I don’t know. When he didn’t respond, I thought maybe he’d moved on to other things. I know he left the service.” Nate shrugged. “I thought maybe he got married or went back to school. I remember he’d signed up without finishing his degree.” He frowned. “I forget what it was, though.”

“Well, it doesn’t look like he got married. There’s no daughter-in-law or grandchildren mentioned, and I think there would be.”

Nate nodded agreement and read the end of the article again. “Next Thursday afternoon is the service. I think I’m going to go, just in case it is him. We weren’t buddies but I knew him, and if this is Perez, he might be glad of some company.” He glanced at the clock and knew he had to get moving. “I’ll ask for the afternoon off. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I’ll press your white shirt, dear, and make sure your dark suit is clean.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Now how could I go and fall in love with anyone who isn’t as wonderful as you?”

“You should fall in love with someone, and soon.”

“You’ve got to wait for the good ones, Mom. That’s what you always taught me.”

“Oh, don’t be throwing my words back at me over this!” his mom protested with a laugh. “Hurry up or you’ll be late.”

* * *

It wasstrange to be in Illinois in the wintertime again. Haley was never there for her dad’s birthday. When she came for Christmas, it wasn’t the same. There was all the bustle of the holidays distracting from his absence. But in the winter, with the decorations gone and the snow piling up, it was hard to forget that her family were there because he was gone.

Her big brother, Brad, picked her up at the airport. “I’ll give you advance warning,” he said, after she’d admired his new full size pick-up truck and they were on their way. “The house is in chaos.”

“You said you were going to buy it from Mom, since you needed the space and she didn’t.” Haley had heard about this plan in the fall and thought it was a good one. “And that you were going to convert that huge room over the garage into a separate apartment for her.”

“Right. That’s the plan. The renovation will happen in the spring. For the moment, she’s moved from the master bedroom to another bedroom.” He winced. “That’s fine. The issue is everything else.”

Haley smiled. “Two sets of dishes.”

“We should be so lucky. I think there are four sets of dishes, maybe five, plus at least two of everything else. I’m calling it the change of regimes.” His frustration was clear and Haley sympathized. It would be like Brad to think only of the logistics and practicalities of buying Mom’s house.

“I guess some things have to go,” she suggested.

“But sentimentality is high. I feel stupid that I never expected it.”

“Can’t you put some stuff in the basement for a while? Out of sight and out of mind, so it’s easier for them to eventually leave.”

“Great minds think alike,” Brad said with a grin. “That’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Still, it’s taking a lot longer than I expected.”

Haley bit back a smile. That was one thing she and her brothers had in common: their interest in achievement and not possessions. Her sister, Tiffany, wanted all the things and was often teased about that. “You probably just thought you’d keep the ones that fit best or were most useful. That’s what I would have expected.”

“I can believe it!” Brad laughed. “I can’t imagine you fighting to the death over keeping your fancy china that you never use instead of someone else’s fancy china that she never uses. I need to remember that I married someone more like Tiff.”

“Mom and Katie will work it out.”

“Well, I hope they do it soon. We can’t renovate when the house is jammed to the rafters with stuff.” He paused for a moment, and his tone was hopeful when he continued. “You could take some of it, you know.”

Haley laughed. “Not a chance! Taking it would mean I’d have to keep it, so Katie or Mom could come to visit it, just to make sure it was okay. No, thanks.”

“See? We’re just the same.” Brad sounded rueful but there was a twinkle in his eyes. “This might finish me.”

“I think you should just stay out of it,” Haley advised. “You can’t pick a side and win.”

“Don’t I know it.” He took the exit, heading toward the house. They rode in silence for a few minutes.

“There’s another warning, too,” he said when he turned into the subdivision. “One just for you.”

“Me? Why?” Haley had a bad feeling, but she’d been trying to dismiss it.

“Mom is over the moon about you moving home. I’m wondering if she thinks she’ll be able to move in with you and bring her stuff, since we all know that you don’t have any.”

Haley was surprised, although she knew she shouldn’t have been.

“Don’t look so astonished,” Brad said. “You have to have seen this coming.”

“I knew she wanted me to apply for the job, but that’s not quite the same as setting up house here together. I thought you were making her an apartment over the garage.”

“I am, but she might see your coming home as a better opportunity.”

“The stuff.” Haley made a face.

“The stuff.” Brad smiled. “Well, you always said you weren’t going to get married. Not our career girl Haley.”

Haley felt as if Garrett was sitting in the back seat, waiting for a gap in the conversation. Who was she kidding? Garrett didn’t wait for anything. He made his opportunities. His confidence that the world was his oyster was one of the things she’d most admired about him. He’d believed he could do anything he wanted and it seemed that the world shared his conviction. Everything had come his way so easily.

Like it was destined to be.

Would Haley see him on this trip? She had to be ready for it. Cool. Casual. Indifferent, if she could manage it.

She might not.

“That’s different from living with Mom,” she said, because Brad was waiting for her reply. They passed the high school and Haley noticed that it looked much the same.

“Once she fills your house with her stuff, it’ll be like you never left home.”

Haley shuddered. “And I’ll never be able to have sex again.”

Brad laughed hard then. “Might be worth getting married, rather than being celibate forever.”

“I’m not going to live that long, but if I was celibate...”

“...it would sure feel like forever,” they said together and grinned at each other.

Haley felt the weight of her family’s expectation and didn’t much like it. “Look, I haven’t decided to move home yet,” she protested. “It’s just a job interview.”

Brad gave her a look. “There is no ‘just’ in Mom’s world when it comes to all her chicks being close to the coop again.” He exhaled. “Let alone her stuff being rehomed. She’d probably offer the down payment for the house you two could share—unless, of course, you do plan to get married, too.”

Haley felt cornered that her acceptance of a job was being considered a done deal, even before she was offered the job. She really disliked that her marital status was up for discussion again. “Let me guess. You and Mom have a list of eligible bachelors drawn up and one is coming for dinner tonight.”

“Not tonight,” Brad acknowledged.

“You didn’t.”

“I didn’t do anything.” He sighed. “I might as well be the first to tell you that Garrett’s divorced.”

Haley’s heart skipped in that wild way she always associated with Garrett’s appearance. Divorced? She swallowed and deliberately didn’t reply to Brad’s earlier comment. She really hoped they hadn’t decided to invite Garrett for dinner. She didn’t need an audience for that meeting. “Really? That’s a shame.”

“Is it?”

“Divorce always is. Did they have kids?”

“I think so.”

“So, it’ll be hard for them.” Haley kept her tone light. “Anyway, I’m not sure I want to leave New York.”

“Even for your dream job?”

“I don’t know that it is, not yet. It just sounds interesting.”

“You’re going to a lot of trouble for something interesting.”

Haley sighed. “I don’t think that exploring opportunities is going to a lot of trouble.”

“Uh oh,” Brad said. “There you go, sounding stubborn again. Tell me that you’re not just teasing Mom, that there’s at least a possibility that you’ll accept the job if it’s offered to you.”

“You’re being protective of her.”

“Damn straight. Someone has to be.”

Haley felt keenly aware of her father’s absence and wondered if Brad did, as well. They never talked about it and she wasn’t sure she wanted to now. She felt agitated and self-conscious, exactly the way she didn’t want to feel for a job interview.

“There are a lot of variables,” she said instead. She counted them on her fingers. “The job needs to be what I hope it is; the pay has to be as good as advertised; the authority has to match the responsibility; I have to be offered the job in the first place...”

“All right, all right!” Brad grinned. “I know enough to recognize when you’ve dug in your heels.”

Haley didn’t say anything. She hadn’t dug in her heels. She was exploring. She hadn’t made a decision yet. It wasn’t nearly time to make a decision.

But she felt that her brother was deciding for her all the same.

Garrett was divorced... Her heart fluttered and she halfway wished Brad hadn’t told her.

No. It was better to be warned.

Haley hadn’t had the jitters about the interview, but this news had fixed that. There was a whole fleet of butterflies in her stomach.

Brad turned down the street to the house. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had no intention of taking a job here,” he said. “Which makes no sense since it’s supposedly the job you’ve always wanted.” He gave her another of those intent looks as he pulled into the driveway. “Unless of course there’s a specific reason you want to stay in New York.”

“I like my job. That’s a pretty good reason.”

“Besides your job,” Brad said and Haley felt as if he’d caught her in the middle of something one more time. Her big brother had always been too perceptive. “Like a guy.”

He didn’t wait for her answer, but got out of the truck and grabbed her bag, heading for the door as he flicked through his keys. It was one of his favorite moves, to drop a verbal bomb then walk away, leaving the other person to run after him and explain.

“No guy,” Haley said when she caught up to him. She sounded breathless, as if she was lying, and she knew it.

So did Brad. He smiled at her. “I knew it. It’s about time, Haley. He could move here with you, you know. You would be the first one to tell me that the guy’s job doesn’t decide everything.”

“No, that wouldn’t work. He’s a partner in a business...” Haley bit her tongue and fell silent.

“No guy officially, but a guy all the same.” Brad shook his head. “You’re not the kind to play games, Haley, not with Mom and not with this guy. Decide what you really want and don’t screw with anyone else’s expectations. It doesn’t suit you.”

“That’s not my intention,” she said, meaning every word and hearing her own vehemence. “I just don’t know about this job yet.”

Brad studied her for a long moment, then nodded. “And maybe you don’t know about him. Fair enough. At least I know you won’t take long to decide. It’s just not in you to dither.” He bumped her shoulder companionably. “And I’m glad to hear the news that isn’t news. Mom will be talking up Garrett, but between you and me, I never thought he deserved you.”

Haley blinked, because she was sure that everyone thought Garrett was amazing—and that she’d made a big mistake letting him ‘slip away.’ She eyed Brad. “Really?”

“Really. You like to do things for people. You’re nice. He likes to be the center of the world. I wasn’t sure who was going to take care of you in that relationship.” Brad nodded then opened the door, raising his voice to a shout. “Anybody home? Haley’s here!”

There was a squeal of excitement and Haley was surrounded by her excited nieces and nephew before she could even get past the foyer. She glimpsed Brad and Katie in their features and her heart twisted in a strange new way.

She’d never thought much about having kids. Motherhood had never been her objective even with Garrett. A career was something she could count on. But as she was swept into what Brad cheerfully called domestic chaos, Haley felt a yearning for something absent from her life.

Maybe a good job and an ornery cat wasn’t enough.

Garrett was divorced.