When I Found You by Brenda Novak

Twenty-Four

Grady was at the hospital when Mack arrived. Mack found him sitting with his head in his hands next to their father’s bed in the small, cramped room of the ICU. When his brother realized he was no longer alone, he sat up and gave Mack a dirty look. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “You obviously care more about Natasha and Anya than you do Dad.”

Or me.Was that what he wanted to say but wouldn’t?

Normally, Mack didn’t have any trouble getting along with Grady. A small argument might flare up now and then over who went grocery shopping last, or who mowed the lawn or did the dishes, but that was about as bad as it got. They had a good life, and they knew it. It was a big house, there was plenty of room for both of them, they had a successful business, and since they were both single, they often hung out together even after work. All without a problem. So Mack couldn’t figure out why Grady was suddenly acting like an ass.

Trying to take into account what India had said earlier—that Grady was “struggling”—Mack suppressed his own temper and spoke in a low, even tone. “Can I talk to you?”

“Go ahead and talk,” he grumbled.

Grady’s eyes were bloodshot, and he hadn’t shaved. Mack didn’t think he’d even showered. “Not here.” Their father didn’t seem to be conscious, but Mack wanted some privacy, just in case J.T. could hear what was going on around him.

Grady hesitated as though he might refuse but finally lumbered to his feet and followed Mack down the hall.

“What’s going on with you?” Mack demanded as soon as they reached the waiting room, which was, thankfully, empty.

“What do you mean?” Grady asked. “You know what’s going on with me. Dad’s probably going to die because we were nice enough to accept Anya and Natasha into our lives. Had we not done that, Anya probably would’ve followed her daughter to LA after the divorce. Instead, she stayed here because she knows we care about Natasha, that we have an ongoing relationship with her, and that makes her feel as though she can claim us as family, too. And we don’t need either of them around. We’ve got enough dysfunctional shit going on with Dad as it is.”

Mack blinked at him. Grady was blaming the shooting on the fact that they’d taken an interest in Natasha’s well-being when she was in high school? That was such an outlandish stretch! “Are you listening to yourself right now? You’re not making any sense. Natasha’s been gone for thirteen years. She’s been back to visit periodically, but...we’ve hardly done anything for her in all of that time. She was married for six of those years.”

“Anya knows that if Natasha gets into trouble she could come to us and we’d be there for her. We care about Natasha. And you care about her a whole lot more than the rest of us.”

Mack was done denying it. “So what? Why does that bother you so much?”

He seemed surprised that Mack no longer denied the accusation. “It just...does.”

That answer—or lack thereof—made Mack believe he was beginning to understand. “Wait a second. This isn’t about losing Dad. At least, it’s not only about losing Dad. It’s about change. You want your life to continue on just as it was. You don’t want me to get with Natasha because then you’ll be the only one who isn’t married.”

“I’ve never planned on getting married.”

Because of what’d happened with their mother? Because he was afraid of losing someone he loved that much? Mack could understand. That kind of loss was Mack’s worst fear, too—probably the only thing he was truly afraid of. “Sometimes you have to take a risk, Grady. Give love a chance no matter how much it scares you.”

“That’s what you’re doing?”

“It is.”

“Well, that’s not my problem. It’s just that... I’ve always been the odd man out,” he said and left the room.

Grady hadn’t been entirely convincing, but another thought crossed Mack’s mind, causing him to run after his brother. “Hey,” he said, grabbing him by the arm to stop him before he reached the ICU. “You don’t have a thing for Natasha, do you? You’ve always acted as though you like her less than all the rest of us. But maybe—”

“No,” Grady broke in. “You’re heading down the wrong road there for sure. She’s beautiful. A guy would have to be blind not to see that. But I’m not attracted to her in that way.”

Mack felt some of the tension leave his body. “Then why does it matter if I get with her?”

Grady didn’t seem to have an answer. He stared at the floor for several seconds before lifting his gaze. “It doesn’t,” he said. “I hope you’ll both be happy.”

Natasha didn’t go right back to Little Mary’s. As difficult as her childhood had been, she’d had a much better life once she and her mother moved to Whiskey Creek, and she wanted to take a few minutes to see the town again.

Stopping at the park, where they put the big Christmas tree every year for Victorian Days, she got out and walked around, trying to use the time to decompress after the move, sleeping with Mack again, the shocking way her mother had arrived at her house.

She would never have known this place, or the Amos brothers, if her mother hadn’t found Mack’s father on a website where prisoners requested “pen pals.” Natasha remembered being furious when her mother said they’d be moving yet again, but this last move had, surprisingly, turned out to be the best thing for her. She doubted she would ever have gone to college without Mack and his brothers making sure she finished high school and encouraging her to continue.

What am I going to do with you, Mom?she wondered and meandered over to a large statue of a miner with a gold pan filled with fake gold as she tried to call Ace.

He didn’t pick up. That was frustrating, but it didn’t surprise her. She sent him a text.

No matter how you feel about me, we have a child together. Please try to act like a decent human being and reassure me that my son is okay.

She saw the three dots that indicated Ace was responding and held her breath.He’s okay.

“You really outdid yourself. Thanks for that,” she muttered but was relieved to hear it. She missed Luke, wasn’t used to being away from him. With all that was going on, she craved the feel of his small body in her arms.

When will you be bringing him home?

She had to know when to be back, didn’t want the Grays to drive out to Silver Springs only to find her gone. She didn’t want to tell them she was out of town, though. She was afraid Ace would say he was bringing Luke back right away, just to put her in a bad situation. Besides, the last thing she wanted was to have them find out that her mother had probably shot her former husband. She’d tried so hard to live her life differently than Anya, but having to test her child to see who his father was made her look all too much the same.

When I’m ready,came his response.

Natasha cursed, startling two tourists. She’d been so focused on her phone she hadn’t heard them come up beside her. Giving her a scowl for the profanity, they moved farther away.

“Sorry,” Natasha mumbled, but she wasn’t even sure they’d heard her apology.

Give me the day and time,she wrote to Ace.

I don’t know yet.

Bring him on Sunday.

Maybe.

Sunday will be a week. That’s enough.

I’ll be in touch later.

With a sigh, she slipped her phone back in her purse and returned to her car.

Once she reached the bed-and-breakfast, she was greeted by the day manager as soon as she walked in. “Hello, Ms. Gray. How are you today?”

Natasha was startled to be addressed by name. She’d never met this woman, either, but she supposed the night manager had made notes so they could be more personable with their guests: Natasha Gray, young woman in #5 with long dark hair, checked in with her mother at 4:00 a.m. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Would you like some tea and cookies?”

Natasha looked into the sitting room to her right. It had six small tables, two chairs each, most of which were filled with other guests. “That sounds...good,” she said, slightly surprised to find it was the truth. She hadn’t had much interest in food lately. “Let me get my mother.”

“Oh, I’m afraid your mother just left,” she said.

“Left?”Natasha echoed. “Where’d she go?”

The woman seemed, understandably, taken aback by the question. This faux intimacy extended only so far. “Um, I don’t know,” the woman said. “I just saw her walk out.”

Natasha left the manager standing in the hall and sprinted upstairs to her room. Where had her mother gone? And why had she left?

Her heart knocked against her ribs as her mind supplied the most likely answer. She ran away. How would she explain that to the Amos brothers? And did this mean that her mother would be a wanted woman? That the police would chase her down? What would the ramifications be?

Using the old-fashioned key she’d been given—there were no card keys in a place like this—she swung the door wide to find her mother’s bed rumpled. Anya hadn’t let the maid come in. She had, however, borrowed Natasha’s makeup and rummaged through the suitcase of clothes Natasha had brought for them to share. Most everything was spilled out onto the floor, which was so typical of her mother.

Since Anya had left her phone when she “found” J.T., Natasha couldn’t call or text her. She felt a moment’s panic—then she saw her mother’s handwriting on the pad by the land phone between the two beds. “Tell me you didn’t run away, tell me you didn’t run away,” she chanted as she stepped over the mess, grabbed that paper and read:

I must’ve shot him, Tash. You’re right—the Amos brothers are right. Who else could’ve done it? I don’t remember what happened. Just the blood. I’ll never forget that. But I would’ve remembered something if I hadn’t been using, so even that’s my fault. I’m going to turn myself in. I know I haven’t been a perfect mom. But I love you. I hope you know that. Go back to Silver Springs and your son and forget about me. My life is essentially over while you have so many wonderful things ahead of you. That’s all I care about now.