Flipping Love You by Erin Nicholas

11

She was avoiding him.

By Sunday it seemed obvious.

The penguins had gotten to Autre on Thursday as planned.

And no one had seen Jill since.

Apparently she was answering texts from Griffin but she’d also said she was fine, the birds were fine, and no, she didn’t need anything.

Griffin, being Griffin, had been okay with that answer and had left her alone.

Zeke had too, but he’d been a lot less cool about it.

“You’ve been a grumpy ass for three days now,” Zander told him. “And you’ve been bitching about her not returning your texts every time I see you. Knock it off.”

“Well, it’s annoying.”

“Thought you weren’t planning to work on her house for a couple of weeks anyway. You’re still helping Jase with the Pork and Peach, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So why are you texting her?”

His brother knew damned well why Zeke was texting Jill.

He liked her. He wanted her. He wanted to be sure she was okay. And he…fucking missed her.

He shoved a hand through his hair. “She’s stressed about the penguins. Just checking on her.”

“And how are you going to help with the penguins?” Zander asked. “You don’t know anything about animals that could be helpful to her.”

That was true. And yet, he’d had the feeling the other day at the penguin enclosure that he had been helpful. He’d helped calm her down. He’d made her smile. He’d helped her build penguin nesting sites at least.

When he should have been working on building things for humans.

He was kind of a mess.

“It’s kind of killing you that you remodeled the bedroom on the side of her house opposite of your house so you can’t see when her lights are on at night, isn’t it?” Zander asked as he popped a shrimp in his mouth and chewed.

Yeah, it kind of was.

Zander swallowed. “That was dumb,” he said without Zeke needing to answer.

“When I remodeled that bedroom, I had no idea that I’d care when those lights were on or off,” Zeke told him with a scowl.

Zander laughed. “If it’s any consolation, her bedroom does face my house.”

“It’s not,” Zeke said flatly.

“And I haven’t noticed her lights on. If she’s sleeping there, it’s late at night and she comes in, goes upstairs, and pretty much heads straight to bed.”

Zeke didn’t really feel consoled by that, no. Though if she was working long hours, it would explain why she hadn’t called, texted, or stopped over for a booty call.

“Just stop out there,” Zander said.

“Where?”

“Where the penguins are. Griffin makes it sound like that’s the only place she ever is.”

Zeke could believe that. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“They need peace and quiet and to get used to the new place without a lot of disruptions.”

“So don’t be loud or disruptive.”

“That’s…”

“Do that or go get laid with someone else. You’re being a dick.”

He wasn’t going to go get laid with someone else.

That thought was swift and clear.

Dammit.

She’d ruined him for other women.

And he’d known it the first time he’d thrust inside her.

“I’m just worried. That’s not the same thing as being a dick. You just haven’t seen me do that much,” Zeke said. Which was absolutely true. The last time he’d been actually worried about anyone had been when Leo had needed to have his gall bladder removed at age sixty-eight.

“Huh.” Zander took another bite and studied Zeke. “Well, either stop worrying or go out there and make sure she’s okay then.”

“I’m not going to do that. I’m…giving her space.”

Zander just nodded. But Zeke was certain he was thinking what a dumbass.

Of course, he was thinking the same thing about himself when he pulled up at the penguin habitat three hours later.

That was how long he lasted without seeing her—four days and fourteen and a half hours.

Her car was there and it was the only vehicle, so she was probably alone.

As he got out of his truck, he heard the very loud squawking-trilling sound that he assumed was the noise Galápagos penguins made.

He texted Jill. I’m here to pet your…

He sent that, then followed up with penguins.

She had, after all, had milk and yogurt in his fridge for four and a half days now. Sure, he’d been the one to put it there, but half the milk was gone and there were only two of the six yogurt cups left.

That made him feel stupidly happy.

He got a text back this time.

Jill: Now????

He texted back: Yep. Come let me in.

There was no answering text, but two minutes later, he heard the gate rattle and it swung in with a, “What are you doing here?”

He strode toward her, shocked by how happy he was to see her. “Told you. Want to pet something.”

She looked…harried.

But not pissed.

He could work with that.

He held up a paper bag. “Brought you something too.”

She lifted a brow. “Laundry?”

“You’re hilarious. It’s beignets from Cora.”

Her expression brightened. “Oh.”

He grinned. She ate cereal, yogurt, and PB and J because it was simpler but not because she didn’t like other good food.

“But,” he said, lifting them up out of her reach. “I need eyes on a penguin before you get these.”

“Fine.”

He relented with that. “But honestly, only if it’s okay. I don’t want to screw anything up. I really just came to check on you.”

She gave him a little smile. “Thank you. I’m…”

God, he really wanted her to say “good”.

“Really, really tired.”

Dammit.

“What can I do?”

He braced himself for her to tell him to leave her alone.

“Come on in.”

Oh damn, yes. “Really?”

“I do owe you some petting.”

“I’ll take any and all petting you’ll give me.”

He was gratified to see her eyes flicker with heat behind the fatigue and stress.

“And…”

He lifted a brow as she trailed off.

“Could you…”

“Yes,” he said without needing her to finish the thought.

She swallowed. “Could I get another hug?”

He wasn’t sure she could have said anything better. Not even “strip me down and fuck me”.

He knew that Jill wasn’t a hugger. When he’d pulled her into his arms the other day that had been clear. That she’d let him do it then, and was asking for it now? He felt like the king of the world.

Without a word, he reached out, took her arm, pulled her in, and wrapped her up.

He felt her melt into him, wrapping her arms around him, and then he felt her give a big sigh.

A sense of protectiveness shot through him and he had to consciously work not to crush her tightly against his chest.

And say something crazy like, “I’ve got you, girl.”

Well, fuck. He’d said that out loud after all.

She took another deep breath and let it out. “Thank you.”

They just stood hugging for a few minutes. Zeke soaked it up.

But eventually, she pulled back and looked up. “I needed that.”

“You can have it any time. I’m right next door.”

“If I showed up at two a.m. and asked you just to hug me, and that was all, that would be perfectly fine?” She clearly didn’t believe that.

He wasn’t sure it would be perfectly fine. He’d want more. He wasn’t going to lie about that. But he said, “It would be fine.”

She, of course, noted his rewording.

“Fair enough.” She stepped back, slipping out of his arms. “Want to meet the penguins?”

“Yes. Introduce me to your waddle.”

Jill looked pleasantly surprised. “You know that a group of penguins is sometimes called a waddle?”

“The site I read said it’s mostly when they’re moving though. I guess this would be a rookery? Unless they’re in the water and they’re a raft of penguins.”

She smiled. “Right. You looked stuff up?”

“Had to. The crazy chick in charge of the live ones here won’t let us close to ’em unless we bring her beignets. I mean, I gave her six orgasms the other night and I still haven’t seen the live ones.”

She coughed. “Damn, that’s playing dirty.”

“Is it working?”

“Maybe. Because you’ve got a point there. Those six orgasms were very appreciated.”

Yeah, he wasn’t such a good guy that hearing that didn’t make him pretty damned proud too. “Let’s go then.”

She led him into the enclosure.

Zeke pulled up short as he stepped past the gate and took in the sight. He knew every inch of this place, but it was suddenly brand new to him. Because of the eight penguins….penguins… hopping all over the rocks and grass and sand he’d installed.

“Wow.”

Jill took his hand and tugged him toward the penguin house that would let them onto the island. “Come on. You can’t pet them from over here.”

“I really can pet them?” he asked, following her eagerly.

“A couple of them. The others aren’t really into that. Yet anyway.” She led him through the building that gave the birds a temperature controlled place to hang out if the Louisiana weather got too hot or too cold for them. “Penguins aren’t naturally that social with other species, including humans. But they get used to those who feed them, of course.” She shot him a smile. “And they’re very social with one another.”

They stepped out of the building onto the island.

Jill stepped around the rocks and past a few of the penguins, heading for a flatter area. He noted there was a blanket spread out, a wide-brimmed hat, and a book and pen lying there.

“So you just hang out in here?”

She nodded. “They need to get used to me being around. Just a regular, normal, non-threatening part of their environment.”

“How’s it going?”

She took a seat on the blanket and he dropped down beside her.

She looked at him. “No idea.”

“What?”

“I have no idea how it’s going. I sit here and hang out and make notes about what they’re doing. I feed them. I clean the enclosure. I talk to them. Then I’ll go hours without talking to them. I leave the enclosure entirely and sit in my office. And…I have no idea what the right thing is.”

A penguin waddled over. It cocked its head, studying Zeke.

Zeke realized he was holding his breath, hoping the little thing would come closer. If he was being completely honest, he wanted it to hop into his lap.

It didn’t. But it didn’t run from him either.

He blew out his breath.

Jill gave him a sweet smile. “You can touch him if you want.”

“Really?”

“Reach out gently. Just a couple of fingers to start.” She showed him what she meant, stroking the penguin from his head down his back.

Zeke did it, realizing he was grinning like a little kid. He didn’t care. This was cool.

“He’s slippery.”

“Yeah, their feathers are waterproof. They’re not as soft as most people think.”

“They fit in down here though, smelling like fish the way they do.”

She laughed. “I guess they do. You’re all pretty used to that smell?”

“For sure.”

The penguin waddled off and Jill and Zeke sat watching them all for a few minutes without talking.

“Okay, so you’ve heard all about my passion for penguins. What’s your passion?” she asked.

He looked at her, a little surprised. But he answered easily. “Giving people homes.”

“Building houses?”

“Yeah, but more than that,” he said. “Taking a house and turning it into a home. I figure if everybody had a place they liked to go, where they could be themselves and feel totally comfortable and safe, the world would be a happier place.”

She just looked at him for a several beats. Zeke let her look. It wasn’t complicated.

Finally, she said, “Like what you did for the penguins.”

“What you did for the penguins.”

“Okay, what we did.”

“Okay. But yeah. The idea is to give them a place where they have everything they need, feel totally secure, and can relax, be comfortable, and live their best life.”

“That’s really nice.”

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s why it’s very important to me that people answer my emails about what kind of drawer pulls they want and what color they want their bedrooms painted.”

“Oh my God, enough already.”

He laughed. “Though I’m starting to figure you out, Kansas. I just need to make your house look like a penguin enclosure. Then you’d be happy, right?”

She looked around. “Well…”

He shook his head. “Be honest. There has to be something you care about having in your house.”

“Okay…I like the shower you put in. The bedroom is gorgeous. Actually, all of it is gorgeous. You’re obviously good at what you do.”

“Thank you.” He was. It was just a fact.

“But I guess I can be comfortable in a lot of different places. Décor doesn’t matter that much. Or amenities.” She drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. “I think I actually try not to attach too much to a place. I don’t want a home because then it becomes too important.”

Okay, that was not something he’d ever heard before. “Why is that?”

She met his eyes. “Because keeping up our home and making it a place that was perfect for everyone all the time wore on my mom. It was where she felt she had to be instead of out doing what she wanted to do. Home was her work rather than where she was able to relax and be comfortable.”

Zeke frowned. “What do you mean?”

“My mom was a doctor. And she loved it. It was what she’d always dreamed of doing. She did her residency, but she didn’t really get to work before she got pregnant with my older brother. He had a lot of health issues as a baby, so she didn’t feel like she could leave him with someone else. From that point on she became a stay-at-home mom. And that’s great for some people,” Jill added quickly. “But it wasn’t what she wanted. She had four kids and everyone always praised her for how well she kept everything all together, how great we all were, how clean and organized the house always was, how she managed everything. She took pride in that because it was all she had. It became important to her that our house be this perfect place where we were all safe and happy and where we liked to bring our friends and then, by the time we all graduated and moved out and she was thinking about going back to work, my grandma got sick and Mom started taking care of her.”

Jill shrugged. “My mom was kind of bound down by home and family when she really wanted to be working instead. She always seemed tired and like she wanted more. She kept her license up and read journals all the time. But she never got to practice.”

“So when you got the chance at your dream job, you decided to focus only on that and not let home and family and all of that distract you,” Zeke said.

“Exactly.”

Zeke’s family was incredibly supportive. Whatever anyone wanted to try or do, everyone else was behind them. When Kennedy had wanted to go from swamp boat tour company receptionist to politician, they’d all joined her campaign. When Zander had gone to the police academy and then come home after only a year working in New Orleans, they’d all supported him. When Charlie had been fired from her big, fancy job in Paris and ended up back on the bayou and decided to expand the petting zoo, they’d said, “go for it.”

That was the Landry way. Love you until you fell on your ass and then haul you up, feed you, and love you even harder.

“Okay, I hear you, Kansas,” he said. And he did. A woman didn’t have to have a family. And, apparently, this woman didn’t have to be into home and family for him to want her more than he’d ever wanted anyone.

Maybe it was because he couldn’t have her.

But he really thought it was more than that.

“I didn’t mean…” She paused and bit her bottom lip. “Actually, I guess I did mean that as a warning,” she said. “You’re all really into family down here.”

“We definitely are.”

“It’s nothing personal.”

“I get it. And it doesn’t make you weird, Jill,” he felt compelled to add.

“I don’t know about that.” She gave him a little smile. “But it does make me very good with penguins.” She looked around and her smile fell. “Supposedly.”

He nudged her foot with his. “It’ll be okay.”

“You promise?”

“Maybe not. But I can tell you that ‘oh shits’ reproduce like rabbits.”

“What’s that mean?”

“That’s what Leo always says. It means if you start thinking about all the things in a project that might make you say ‘oh, shit’, you’ll find even more than you ever imagined.”

“Ooookay,” she said slowly.

“Like when I start a new building project. If I start thinking of materials not coming in on time, or one of my guys not showing up, or a ceiling beam crashing down or…there are a ton of things that could go wrong. I’d never start if I tried to have it all in place from the first day.”

“And does Leo give any advice about how to deal with it?”

“Let it happen, say ‘oh shit’, and then fix it.”

“You really don’t put measures in place to be sure that ceiling beams don’t come crashing down?” she asked.

He laughed. “Of course. But shit can still happen. And you have to just do your best to figure it out when it does.”

“I’ve never been on my own before,” she admitted. “I was the lead at the zoo with the penguins. I’m an expert. People call me all the time. But, I’ve never actually been the only one who would be saying ‘oh shit’ like I am here.”

He nudged her foot again. “But you’re not. We’ll all say, ‘oh shit’ if things don’t work out with these penguins.”

She groaned. “I don’t know if that’s better now that you say that. I don’t want a bunch of Cajuns disappointed in me too.”

“‘Oh shit’ isn’t ‘you’re shit’, Kansas. It just means ‘well, that didn’t go according to plan, here’s a beer’. Or, if it’s really bad, Leo will pull out his moonshine and it’ll take you two days to remember what went wrong.”

She actually smiled at that and Zeke felt his heart expand. He couldn’t fix things with her penguins but he could make sure she knew she had friends no matter what happened. Whether she wanted them or not.

He pushed himself to his feet. “I should probably get going. I don’t want the female penguins to get attached to me and ruin all chances of them wanting to get it on with the males.”

Jill’s gaze roamed over him as he stretched to his full height. “Good thinking.”

“And if you need any more hugs, just text me. You do have my number. Or you can just respond to one of the ten I sent you.”

“It was fourteen. And okay,” she said with a half smile.

He wanted to kiss her so fucking bad. Instead, he turned and made his way back to the penguin house. But before he ducked inside to leave he said, “By the way, naked hugging is also an option.”

She laughed and he felt his heart swell even further.