Dark Devotions by Nichole Greene
21
OLIVIA
The beach house is incredible.It’s modern but with a lot of natural touches. The main level is almost entirely open, aside from the kitchen which is off to one side and enclosed for entertainment purposes. The back wall off the living room is made of glass panels that open to provide indoor/outdoor living. The pool house opens in the same way with the classic round walls and thatched roof that is common throughout the country. The deck is teak with a dual-level infinity pool. There are hammocks hung from several trees on the sides of the patio.
It’s nighttime, so I can’t see the water, but I can hear it. The waves crashing from the Pacific Ocean already have my tension melting away. A loud yelp echoes through the trees on one side of the property, startling me.
“Just a spider monkey,” Lake assures me, running his hand up and down my back. “You’ll get used to them.”
A short, older woman steps out onto the deck with us speaking in rapid Spanish to Lake. She pulls him in for a hug and then moves onto the rest of the guys. They each lay on the charm and speak to her in flawless Spanish. She moves to step in front of me, her expression full of warmth.
“Welcome Olivia. Is it your first time in Costa Rica?”
“Si, pero creci en Peru y Equador,” I answer, glad that my fluency in Spanish is still strong. “Estoy emocionada de estar aqui.”
“Olivia, this is my aunt Maria. She lives in a bungalow at the end of our property.” Lake steps beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “You can go home; we’ll take care of all the bags.”
“Buenos noches.” She gives him another kiss on the cheek and then grabs me by the shoulders giving me a quick squeeze. “Tomemos cafe juntos por la mañana.”
“Si.” I already feel a warmth toward the friendly woman. I watch her disappear down a lit path into the trees before turning my attention back to Lake. “Show me the rest of the house?”
He takes me on a tour of the main level first. It has a formal living room and dining room on the other end of the house. There is also an office in dark mahogany and oozes masculinity without being overdone. We walk up a metal and glass staircase to the second level where eight rooms are located. There’s four on each side of the landing, so they all have views of the ocean. Each room is connected to one long balcony with lounge chairs.
Since there are so many rooms, Grant drops my bag off in the one between his room and Sawyer’s room. I’m glad he did that. I don’t want to sleep alone, but I don’t know how to navigate this buddy relationship between the five of us. How do I keep them all satisfied and fulfilled when I’m only one person?
The guys go to their rooms to get ready for bed. I walk into the bathroom attached to my room and turn on the shower. There’s a window at the top of the stall that I can barely see trees through. The sky is overcast, so I can’t tell how many stars are visible. I take my time, shampooing and conditioning my hair, shaving my legs, using a delicious smelling coffee scrub on my body. When I step out of the shower, I look at my body through the fogged mirror, noting the changes that have started to occur. My hips no longer jut all the way out, my stomach is flat but not concave, and my face looks younger and healthier. I’m being loved back into good health by these amazing men, and I’m not going to take it for granted.
I dry off and pull one of Sawyer’s undershirts on as pajamas. If he’s noticed that a bunch of his shirts have gone missing, he hasn’t said anything. They’re just too soft not to steal for bedtime. As if conjured by my thoughts, I walk into my room to find him stretched out on my bed. He’s shirtless in a pair of loose pajama pants and looking like a damn model.
“You know, I was wondering where all my shirts have gone.” He gives me a boyish grin.
“They’re comfy.” I walk toward him. “I’ve only taken a few.”
“That’s alright, I can always buy more. I love the thought of you sleeping in my shirts almost as much as I love the thought of you sleeping in my arms.”
“Can I do both?”
“Fuck yes, you can do whatever you want.” He pulls me on top of him. “Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?”
The answer is yes, I do, but I’m a little sore from the plane. I don’t even know how to broach that though, ‘can we just cuddle because I fucked two of you guys on the plane?’ just seems to be a statement in poor taste.
“We don’t have to have sex,” he says as he watches my internal struggle play out over my face. “I know that you, Nolan, and Lake had some intense fun on the way down here.”
My entire body flushes and feels like it’s caught fire. I cover my face, too embarrassed to see whatever I’ll see on his face if I look at him.
“Look at me, Liv.” He pulls my hands free from my face.
“You heard us?” I whisper.
“I think the entire flight crew heard you.” His eyes are filled with mirth and zero judgement.
“Oh God.” I drop my head into the crook of his neck and shoulder.
“He probably heard you calling his name too.”
I make a strangled noise at that statement. “I’m so embarrassed right now.”
“Sit up and look at me.” He squeezes my hips and nudges me up with his shoulder. “There’s no reason to be embarrassed. First of all, none of us resent you being with any of us. If anything, it was really hot to listen to you guys, it affected both Grant and me. Secondly, just because one of us shares a bed with you, it doesn’t mean we think we’re entitled to you sharing your body with us. You decide when you are with someone and how it happens. If you want me to sleep beside you tonight, that’s what we’ll do. No expectations beyond holding each other.”
I reach down and cup his cheek, loving the rough stubble on his jaw. “Nolan said earlier tonight that you guys didn’t deserve me, but in moments like this, I think it’s the other way around. I don’t know what I did to end up with you four, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
He turns his head and kisses my palm. “Lay down and let me hold you.”
I slide off him and into the center of the bed. He flips the lamp off and molds himself against my back. One of his arms snakes under my pillow to grab the hand resting there while his other hand settles over my belly. The curtains blow gently from the open door in the coastal breeze. He falls asleep first, but I follow quickly into a calm, deep sleep.
* * *
I wake up snuggled with Sawyer. His warm breath fanning over my forehead every few seconds. I give myself a moment to soak in his warmth and breathe in the spicy scent of his aftershave that always clings to his neck. Part of me is tempted to run my hand down those chiseled abs of his and take his cock in my hand, but I want to get downstairs for coffee with Maria.
I grab a pair of shorts and tie a quick knot in the bottom of my shirt. I brush my teeth as quietly as I can; it’s rare for Sawyer to sleep in, and I don’t want to risk waking him by making noise. Maybe he’ll relax a bit more while we're here. After tossing my hair up in a messy bun, I pad down the stairs and back toward the kitchen. The house is quiet; everyone must still be asleep.
“Buenos dias, señorita,” Maria says as I come around the corner. She’s dressed in a pair of linen pants and a basic black tank top. Her face radiates warmth as she fixes two cups of coffee and sets the machine to make more. “Let’s sit on the patio, yes?”
She carries a tray with our coffee and two pastries on it. There’s also a small container of sugar and cream. We sit down, and she fixes her coffee to her liking, while I do the same to mine. I take a sip looking out into the dense foliage around the property. There are blooms in all colors everywhere I look, but the verdant greens stand out the most, so gorgeous in the early morning light.
“How did you sleep?” she asks after taking a sip of her tea.
“Very well, thank you.”
“Bien. How do you know the boys?” She asks switching fluidly back and forth between English and Spanish.
“I went to high school with them. We were close all through college.”
“And then?” Her eyes only show curiosity, no judgement or malice, but she’s definitely probing. I have a feeling I’m going to have to pony up some real talk with Lake’s aunt.
“Then I married the wrong man and lost touch with them. It’s one of the reasons I came back, my ex kind of isolated me from them. From everyone.”
“So they’re just helping you, yes?”
“That’s why I sought them out originally.” Every time I think about how I came back to them I feel the shadows of my past slinking in. The tendrils of fear that follow in wake of thoughts of Tripp. The overwhelming feeling of being trapped.
“Te ves embrujada, chica.” You look haunted, girl, she says.
“Si, implecablemente.” My whispered agreement hangs in the air between us.
“La estamos ayudando, protegiéndola. No volverá a tocarla jamás.” Lake joins us, telling his aunt that they are helping me, protecting me. That no one is going to touch me. “Why are you interrogating, Liv?”
“Just getting to know her. You’ve never brought a woman down here before.”
My brows raise at that. “Really?”
“Really.” She latches onto my interest. “For the longest time we thought maybe the boys were gay because they were always together, alone. No women, so maybe they like the penis.”
I choke on the coffee I just took a sip of. The laughter bubbling up in my chest can’t be contained as I dab at my face. When I look up at Lake, he’s looking at his aunt with bemusement.
“We’re not gay,” he says.
“Who are you here with?” Maria asks me.
“She’s with all of us,” Lake answers with an emphasis on all.
“All as in…” Maria trails off.
“As in all. A relationship with all of us.”
Oh shit.
My mouth drops at that declaration. Just that easy, he tells his aunt, his family, that we’re in a relationship, a poly relationship no less. He was so unbothered. My cheeks heat when she looks at me with a knowing twinkle in her eye and gives me the slightest nod.
We chat for a few minutes until she stands and goes off to do some work in her bungalow. She walks down the same path she took last night. Lake takes her place and pulls my feet into his lap, rubbing the tension out of my arches with his strong thumbs. He’s in a pair of shorts and a tank top. We sit there sipping coffee and listening to the sounds of the rainforest and the waves crashing on the shore a short distance away.
“Want to walk down to the beach?”
“Yeah, I’d love that.” I stand up and put my coffee down.
He links our hands together while he leads me down the sandy path. We’ve barely spoken since his aunt left us, but these quiet moments with him always feel intimate and peaceful. I don’t want to break the moment by speaking.
We get to the edge of the trees, and I can’t hold my gasp. The beach is beautiful, golden sand and bright blue water. There are a few rocky islands in the distance.
“This is heavenly,” I say, wriggling my toes into the warm sand. There are a few people walking all the way down at the other end of the beach, but other than that, it’s just us. “Is this a private beach?”
“No, beaches in Costa Rica are all public, but this one is only accessible by a dirt road big enough for an ATV. Unless you live in one of the private residences along this beach, it’s more trouble than it’s worth to reach it.” He leads me down to the water.
The briny scent of the Pacific surrounds me as the warm water gently rolls over my feet and ankles. I tilt my head back into the sun, soaking up the mid-morning rays. When I’ve had my fill, I look over at Lake to see him looking at me with unabashed desire flaring in deep brown eyes.
His eyes follow the quick dart of my tongue as I wet my lips. He steps up to me, pulling me into his arms and covers my lips with his own. My fingers run over his shoulders and into his short hair, tugging as he deepens the kiss. My lips part on a moan when he lifts me into the air, wrapping my legs around his waist. Our kiss lasts for what feels like ages, fueled by the passion of two people falling in love again.
We finally break apart, him still holding me in his arms. He gives me another quick kiss before we hear Nolan yelling our names. We both laugh when we see him jogging down to the beach in shorts with a bunch of chairs, a cooler, and towels. I drop my legs, and we both walk over to him. Grant and Sawyer emerge from the tree line with some more bags and a football. They’re all dressed in swim trunks and the view is amazing.
“I don’t have a swimming suit on yet,” I say as they start setting up. “I’ll run back to the house and change.” I start to walk away when Grant falls in step beside me.
“I’ll go with you.”
“I don’t need a babysitter.” I point toward the house. “The house is right there.”
“It’ll make us all feel better if someone is with you all the time.” He pushes his sunglasses down and looks at me with his gorgeous green orbs. “Please.”
I roll my eyes but motion for him to come along. When we get up to the house, he flops down on the bed, watching me rifle through my bags. I find a navy bikini and woven cream cover-up. I start walking to the bathroom to get dressed when Grant stops me.
“Where are you going?”
“To change.”
“Change here.”
“In the middle of a room with floor-to-ceiling windows and you sitting here watching?”
“Yes.” He nods. “That’s exactly what I want you to do.”
I look out the window, biting my lip as indecision hangs in my mind. I doubt anyone would be looking, but what if some of the family’s staff walk by and see? I look back at Grant who is sitting on the edge of the bed. He pulls me to him by the waistband of my shorts.
“I’ve been thinking about our night together.” His hand slides up my abdomen, under my shirt. “I have a theory that I’d like to talk to you about.”
“Okay.”
“I have this overwhelming need to erase every thought, touch, or hurt caused by Tripp. It’s the guilt I have, you know. You can tell me all day long that you don’t blame me, but I still blame myself.”
I start to interrupt, but he puts his index finger over my lips and shakes his head.
“You came alive under my hands, Liv. I felt it. You liked being dominated by someone you trust. You melted under my touch, and you obeyed my commands beautifully. I know that the other guys worship you. They touch you like you are their salvation, their angel, their goddess. I love listening to it, and I love watching it, but I’m not sure that I want to participate in it.”
My heart drops. I knew that I couldn’t have them all, that was a pipe dream. I can let Grant go to find a better fit. He deserves to be completely fulfilled even if it hurts. And it does hurt, it hurts worse than any insult or fist that Tripp ever threw my way. I blink a few times to clear the gathering tears, I won’t make him feel any guilt for this decision.
“Liv.” He stands and grips my shoulders. “Look at me.” He waits until I do. “I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you. I do. I just want to try things a different way than the others. I want to show you the pleasurable side of pain. I want to debase you and break you, so that every single thing he said or did to you shatters at your feet, and you can build yourself back the way you want.”
“Oh,” I say dumbly.
“Listen, it’s a lot to think about. I don’t expect an answer right away. I will always be here, regardless of what you decide.”
We stand there for a moment, gazing at each other. I take a step back as my mind swirls with thoughts. “Would watching me change be part of that debasement?”
“It could be, especially if it’s something that pushes your boundaries.”
“It does.” I finger the hem of my shirt, trying to decide if I have it in me to do the types of things he needs. “Baby steps.” I pull my shirt over my head.
His eyes darken and his jaw tenses as he sits back on the edge of the bed. I hook my thumbs in the waistband of my panties and shorts and push them down my slender hips until they pool at my feet. He takes his time looking at me, an erotic trail lights my skin on fire in their wake.
“Turn for me,” he says, his voice gravelly. “Slowly and all the way.”
So I do, uncomfortable under the intensity of his gaze. The door to the deck is wide open, as is the door to my room from the hall. He grabs my bikini bottoms and helps me put them on, tightening the strings on each hip. He follows suit for the top, never once trying to cop a feel even though I can see the evidence of his arousal tenting his trunks. He holds his hand for me as I adjust my cover-up, and we walk back out to the beach hand in hand.