Knitted Hearts by Amber Kelly

Sonia

My head is pounding, so George and I settle in for a quiet night at home. I curl up on the couch with a blanket and an assortment of junk food. Ice cream always helps me think. I keep going over and over everything in my mind, trying to sort out my feelings.

I hear the buzzer, letting me know that I have a visitor. The last thing I feel like right now is company. I pull the cover over my head and pray they go away.

The buzzer sounds again, followed by knocking. George hops up from her spot on the cool bathroom tiles and heads for the stairs like a rocket. Barking her disapproval at the person who has disrupted our solitude.

I throw the blanket to the side and get up in a huff to follow the annoyed puppy, who has made it to the landing and is clawing at the door.

“It’s okay, George. Calm down, girl,” I say as I reach down and give her a reassuring scratch behind the ear before I open the door to greet our guest.

Wendy Tomlin is standing on my stoop.

What the hell?

I take George by the collar, so I can back her up. Wendy takes a step forward and places her hand on the doorframe.

“Hey, Sonia. Please don’t shut the door,” she says.

I look past her and around the sidewalk to see if she’s alone.

“How did you know where I live?” I ask.

She looks sheepish. “I followed you this afternoon.”

“What do you want?”

“Can we talk?” she asks.

I shake my head. What could we possibly have to say to each other?

“Please,” she adds.

“Fine. Go ahead. Talk.”

I let go of the puppy, and she squirms past me and sits at my feet between the two of us.

She looks up into the stairway. “May I come in?”

“I don’t think so,” I say as I fold my arms over my chest and wait.

“Okay, look, I’ve made a mess of my life. I’ve been searching for something for so long, and I don’t even know what it is anymore. I’ve made myself miserable, and in the process, I’ve made Foster miserable too. The worst part is, I did it on purpose. I blamed him for my unhappiness, and all he’d ever done was try. Try to give me the life I wanted. Try to make it all better.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” I interrupt.

She brings her eyes to mine. “Because I want you to know that I didn’t intentionally get pregnant. I was shocked and scared when I found out. I might be mean, but I’m not mean enough to drag a baby into my mess,” she explains.

“Okay.” It’s the only response I can muster.

“Foster is a good man, Sonia. A good man who will always try to do the right thing. And I’m done hurting him. I’m done, and I want you to know that I won’t use this baby as a weapon against him or you. I don’t know how any of this will work. I don’t know if I’ll stay in Poplar Falls and be a mom or if I’ll run. But I won’t use this baby to manipulate him or the life he builds for himself. I’m going to be the momma I never had.”

She sniffles, and I can see the sincerity on her face.

“I think you’ll do just fine,” I tell her because I know she needs to hear it.

“You think so?” she asks.

“Yeah. Sounds to me like that baby has already begun to change you for the good.”

“Yeah,” she murmurs as she lays a hand on her stomach. “He loves you, you know.”

“What?”

“He looks at you in a way that he has never looked at me. Not even in the beginning. Like the sun rises and sets on you. I want someone to look at me that way someday.” She brings her eyes to mine. “Don’t let me get away with taking that from him. Don’t let me win.”

With that, she turns to leave.

“Wendy,” I call after her.

She turns back to me.

“You’re already the mother you never had.”

She smiles. Then, she gets into her car and drives away.

I return to my spot of sadness on the couch. George joins me, and I scratch her head.

“Do you think I’m selfish?” I ask her.

She barks.

“Yeah, well, join the club.”

I reach for the phone to call Foster and ask him to come over to talk because I can’t figure this out on my own and it’s time I listen.

Before I can dial Foster’s number, the phone rings in my hand.

I answer, and it’s Don calling to say he’s been trying to get in touch with Momma and find out what she wants for dinner, but she isn’t answering her phone or the shop’s.

“I know she’s there. We had lunch with her this afternoon and stayed most of the day. When I left a couple of hours ago, she was going to finish up some embroidery orders. I was just about to take George for her last walk of the night, so I’ll pop in and tell her to call you.”

“Thanks, Sonia. She’s probably just got her sewing machine going, and she didn’t hear the ring. It happens all the time.”

I end the call and go in search of George, who is shredding yet another stuffed toy she dug out of her toy box.

I attach her leash, and we walk out onto the sidewalk into the cool night air. George stops every couple of feet to sniff at something on the ground. Finally, she chooses the perfect spot and squats to do her business.

“Come on. Let’s go see your maw-maw for a minute.” I coax her around the corner and toward the shop door.

Once she realizes where we’re headed, she takes off running, no doubt looking for one of the treats Momma keeps for her behind the counter.

“Slow down,” I say as I try to get her to walk with me.

Leash training has been going about as well as no-chewing training. I mentally reconsider the two-week obedience school Bellamy suggested when we reach the shop.

I try the door, but it’s locked. I knock a few times, but she doesn’t hear me. George is barking and scratching at the door, getting herself all tangled in her leash.

“All right, hang on. You’re going to twist your leg and hurt it,” I say as I stoop down and pick her up.

I reach in my pocket for the set of spare keys I keep for such occasions and try not to drop the puppy as I let us in.

“Momma, you back there?” I call out as I let George down, and she takes off toward the counter.

I walk over, open the treat canister, and toss a couple on the mat behind the counter for her. Then, I notice Momma’s cell phone sitting on the counter next to the register.

That’s why she didn’t hear it.

I pick it up and walk into the back.

“Momma, Don’s been trying to reach you. You left your phone up—”

When I round the corner to her sewing room, I see her legs and feet on the floor.

“Momma!”

When I make it to her, she is lying facedown. A pair of knitting needles is still clutched in her hand, and there is blood coming from her mouth.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

I drop the phone and kneel beside her. “Momma, can you hear me?”

She doesn’t respond, so I gently turn her over and check to see if she’s breathing. She’s not, so I clear her airway and start doing chest compressions.

Her phone is on the ground beside me, and I pick it up and dial 911. I clasp it between my ear and shoulder while I continue administering CPR.

George came running as soon as she heard my panicked cries, and she is circling us, barking and panting.

“Please breathe, Momma,” I plead through a blur of tears.

She finally begins to breathe, and I get a faint pulse, but I don’t stop the compressions until the EMTs and volunteer firefighters show up and take over.

I give them all her information that I know, and they load her in the ambulance to take her to the hospital.

I run the two blocks up to the diner, and as soon as I burst in, dragging George behind me, Faye hurries over.

“What’s wrong, Sonia?”

“I found Momma unconscious in her shop. They have her in an ambulance. Can you take George for me?” I ask her frantically.

“Yes, yes, of course.”

I hand her the leash and take off out the door. I call Don and tell him to meet me in the emergency room. I stop and lock up the shop and run to my car.

By the time I make it to the hospital and park, Don is already at the desk, asking after Momma.

When he sees me, he comes over and puts his hand on my shoulder.

“They think it was a heart attack,” he tells me.

“What are they going to do?”

“Mr. Chambers,” the nurse calls.

“Right here.”

“Your wife is being prepped for an emergency surgery. If you want to follow me, I’ll show you to a private waiting area up on the cardiac floor, and the doctor will come to speak to you shortly.”

Surgery. Shit, it must be bad.

We follow her to the closest elevator, and she takes us to the third floor, which is the heart and vascular wing. Then, she leads us to a waiting room with a couple of couches, four recliners, a wet bar with a mini fridge, and a flat-screen TV.

“If you wait here, someone will check in with you as soon as they have any news,” she tells us before disappearing and leaving us in stunned silence.

I tap a text to Elle and Bellamy, telling them where we are and what we know.

Both respond immediately that they are on their way.

I sit on the couch beside my stepdad, and I hold his hand tightly as we wait for any news.

Before anyone can come to speak to us, Bellamy and Brandt, and Elle and Walker come through the door. I burst into tears the minute my eyes fall on my best friends. Don gets up and stands with the guys, and the girls come to me and sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me. They hold me while I cry. All my fear is coming to the surface and leaking out while I’m in the safety of their presence.

We are still huddled together when the surgeon comes in.

He addresses Don but speaks to us all. “Mrs. Chambers has suffered a massive myocardial infarction.” He flips the switch on a light board mounted on the wall. “As you can see, she has a blockage here in these four arteries. They are substantial and will require immediate bypass surgery. We’ll take healthy arteries from her legs and arms to bypass the blocked ones.”

“She’s a healthy, active woman. I don’t understand,” Don says.

“Heart disease is a problem for one in five women. Oftentimes, the signs or symptoms don’t appear until it’s too late, or women brush them off as normal stress symptoms.”

“She hasn’t had any symptoms at all,” Don tells him.

“Yes, she has. She’s been feeling dizzy lately. I thought it was low blood sugar from skipping meals,” I tell them.

“She’s been more tired than usual too. She used to work into the late evening at least three nights a week, but she’s been coming home earlier and earlier. I just assumed it was burnout and getting older,” Don adds.

“That’s the problem. All of those are indicators, but they could be many things that are easy to explain away. The good thing is, she’s stable, and we feel confident we can get her recovered and back home to you guys.”

“Thank you, Doc,” Don says as he shakes his hand.

“We’ll be getting started in about thirty minutes, and the surgery will take about five hours. Give or take an hour, depending on how it goes once we’re in. I’ll have my nurse come out to keep you guys updated as we go along.”

With that, he leaves, and we all sit down and absorb the information.

In the next hour, the room fills with all of my and Momma’s friends. Dottie, Beverly, and Elaine arrive together, as do Doreen, Ria, and Madeline.

Dallas and Sophie arrive next, after waiting for Myer and Braxton to get home to the babies.

Brandt and Walker are about to leave to fetch food that Faye called to say she had boxed up for everyone.

“Can you guys get George from her? I just left her at the diner without any supplies.”

“We’ll get her,” Brandt assures me.

“You can drop her off at the ranch with Marvin on your way back. I’ll call and tell him she is coming,” Dottie says. She looks at me. “We have everything she needs, and we’ll take good care of her for as long as you need.”

“Thank you.”

Don paces for a while, and then he tells us he’s running down to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee.

“Men don’t handle crises well,” Doreen says once the door closes behind him. “He just needs some space.”

I nod.

“It’s going to be a long night. You guys don’t have to stay,” I tell them.

Bellamy lays her head on my shoulder. “We’re not going anywhere.”

They all voice their agreement.

Thank God.