Unhinged by Onley James

Adam woke with his arms around Noah, his body tucked snuggly against him. He was small compared to Adam’s six foot two, but he fit perfectly, allowing Adam to all but envelop him when they spooned. He liked the idea of people having to go through him to get to Noah. It was a foreign concept. He didn’t know how to describe it. From the moment he’d seen him standing there, holding that gun on him, Adam had just known he wasn’t going to let him go.

Ever.

He nuzzled his nose against Noah’s neck, inhaling deeply. Noah had said he smelled like sweat, which would have been fine with Adam, but it wasn’t true. Noah had his own peculiar scent, something that evoked a sense memory deep in Adam’s lizard brain. Something that made him think home.

“Are you sniffing me?” Noah asked sleepily.

Adam liked Noah’s voice, not too high, not too deep. Everything about Noah was just right. “Yes.”

He felt Noah’s body shake with laughter. “You’re so weird.”

Adam grinned, even though Noah couldn’t see it. “Other people think I’m charming.”

Noah stretched deeply, craning his head around to look at Adam but making no attempt to leave his arms. “But you also said last night that other people don’t know the real you, so...”

Adam let that tumble around in his head for a minute before saying, “So, you think people only find me charming because they don’t know me, but you don’t find me charming because you do?” He didn’t like the idea of Noah not liking him, but he wanted whatever Noah wanted. “Do you want me to be fake charming me or real me?”

Noah sighed, rolling to face Adam, wiggling up until they were all but nose to nose on his pillow. “No. I guess I like how weird you are.”

“I like your face,” Adam said, sweeping his hand over Noah’s freckles. “Your stars are gone.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I like your freckles. They were the first thing I noticed about you.”

Noah smiled ruefully. “And here I thought it would be the gun in my hand.”

“Nah, I’m used to people pulling guns on me. I’m not used to wanting to kiss those people.”

“You wanted to kiss me?” Noah asked.

Adam stuck his tongue out and licked the tip of Noah’s nose. “I wanted you to walk out of that warehouse alive so that I could eventually kiss you.”

Noah searched his face, like he was trying to figure out if Adam might be lying, then leaned in and brushed his lips across Adam’s in a barely-there kiss. Something caught fire in his blood. He rolled Noah so he was beneath him, catching his hands over his head as he separated his thighs with his hips. When Noah made a whimpering sound beneath him, Adam pulled back. “Too much?”

Adam started to move away when Noah threaded their fingers together, hooking his legs around Adam’s thighs so he couldn’t go anywhere. “I didn’t say stop.”

This time, it was Adam studying Noah’s face for any sign he wasn’t serious, but he got lost staring into Noah’s eyes. He’d never understood that phrase before, but now, he did. Noah’s eyes weren’t just brown; there were flecks of green and gold in them, visible even in the dim light of the trailer.

When he captured Noah’s mouth again, his kiss was greedy and consuming, like he couldn’t get enough. Because he couldn’t. He liked having Noah underneath him, held hostage beneath his weight, leaving Adam free to do whatever he wanted.

Noah liked it, too. He whined when Adam nipped at his lip, his hips bucking up against him like he couldn’t help himself. Adam could feel how hard he was just from their kiss. Just like last night. Had it only been last night? Time seemed to blur around Noah, like it was Adam who was high. Maybe he was high and Noah was his drug. If so, he was already hooked.

He gripped his fingers tighter, rocked his lower body against Noah’s, their erections slotting together with only two thin layers of cotton between them. Adam dragged his mouth away, biting at Noah’s earlobe. “If I don’t stop, this is going to get messy.”

“I don’t care. Don’t stop. Make me come,” Noah gasped.

Adam couldn’t help the near feral sound that fell from his lips. He released Noah only so he could shove their underwear out of the way. Once they were skin to skin, Adam caught both of Noah’s wrists in his hand, the other wrapping around his shoulder, holding him steady so he could drive against him.

Adam had never done this before, had never wanted anything but a quick fuck and a quicker exit, but this, the slick slide of their bodies working against each other, Noah panting and whining beneath him, had him ready to blow faster than sex ever had. Especially when Noah started talking—babbling, really—a stream of consciousness ramble that was a road map for Adam to follow. “Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Don’t stop, right there. You feel so fucking good. Harder. Oh…fuck. Yes. Yes. Please. Please. Please.”

Every word that fell from Noah’s lips drove Adam closer. He tried to keep from falling over the edge until Noah got there first, but he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Adam,” Noah gasped, lifting his head to capture his lips, but it wasn’t a kiss so much as him moaning into Adam’s mouth as he came. That was more than enough to push Adam over the edge. He surged against Noah a few more times, his hand clamping around his wrists even harder as he spilled between them, his hips spasming as pleasure dragged him under.

When he finally released Noah’s wrists, they were both still breathing hard. Adam pressed his forehead to Noah’s. “You talk a lot.”

Noah flushed. “Sorry, I guess I just get caught u—”

Adam kissed him. “It’s the hottest fucking thing ever. Never stop.”

“Okay,” Noah said, breathless.

Adam rolled off of him to stare up at the murder board overhead. He’d almost forgotten. “So, what conspiracy are you trying to Beautiful Mind your way through?”

Noah sat up and grabbed a towel, cleaning himself off and throwing it to Adam, who did the same. Once their clothing was righted, Adam tugged Noah back down so they were both staring at the ceiling.

“You might as well tell me because I’m not going to stop asking, and when I don’t get what I want one way, I get it another. I’d rather just hear it from you.”

“You sound fucking crazy, you know.”

Adam’s face contorted into a look of disbelief. “I am crazy. I kill people. Remember?”

“Community service, remember?” Noah countered with a shake of his head.

Adam grinned. “Spill. What are you doing? Stop distracting me. What are you involved in?”

Noah took a big breath, blowing it out and chewing his bottom lip. Adam threaded their fingers together, squeezing in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. Noah looked away. “After you showed me the video…of my dad and that boy…” Noah swallowed audibly. “Things started to come rushing back. Memories from when I was younger, a lot fucking younger…”

Once more, Adam squeezed his hand. “He hurt you.”

It wasn’t a question. “Yeah. I don’t remember all of it. I can’t… If I do, I’ll lose my fucking mind. You know?”

“That’s why you took those pills. To keep the memories at bay?”

Noah did look at him then. He nodded. “Sometimes, being fucked up is the only way to keep him from crawling back inside me. I don’t like being high, I just hate remembering. Things were easier when I didn’t remember.”

Adam could only nod. He knew what it was like to have the horrors of your past seep through the cracks in your foundation like some kind of toxic gas, poisoning your thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he said, surprised to find it wasn’t just a meaningless platitude given because society dictated it as the proper response. He meant it. He didn’t want to be the cause of Noah’s misery.

“I forced your hand. You could have just killed me. You gave me the chance to go. I refused. It’s nobody's fault but mine.”

“I’m still sorry. But why is your father in the center of the board? I promise you, he’s definitely dead. It wasn’t as bloody as I’d hoped, but he’s dead.”

Noah shook his head. “I know. I’m the one who found him. Remember?”

Pain spiked through Adam’s chest. He’d done that. He’d traumatized Noah when he was barely ten years old. “Yeah.”

“He wasn’t the only one.”

Adam cut his gaze to Noah. “What?”

Noah set his mouth in a grim line. “My father wasn’t the only one to…do things to me. There were others. Friends. Strangers. Five whose faces I can remember. Others who just watched in the shadows.”

Adam’s rage was instantaneous, a match to gasoline. His vision was a deep throbbing red. He released Noah’s hand to slam his fist into the pillow. “I should have killed that piece of shit slowly. I should have looked deeper.” He could feel his body trembling, his blood pulsing in his veins. He needed to hit something. Kill it. Rip it apart. He was a bomb ticking down, and if he didn’t get out of there, he was going to explode all over Noah, and he didn’t need Noah seeing him like that.

Before he could think to stop him, Noah threw a leg over his hips, settling in his lap and taking his face in his hands. “Stop.”

It was said with such gentleness that Adam’s brain ground to a halt, the dog throwing itself against its cage inside him as confused by Noah’s serene expression as Adam.

“Stop,” he said again. “You couldn’t have saved me. By the time you came along, I’d aged out of my father’s preferential victim pool. I’d already locked all those memories up.”

“I want to dig him up just so I can kill him again. I hate that he hurt you.”

Noah gave him a humorless smile. “I know. But, as a result, I now crave being hurt. The brain sure is a fucked up thing, huh?”

Adam blinked at him. “What?”

“Bite me, spank me, pull my hair? Tell me I’m bad, tell me all the things you’re gonna do to me. Make me take it. Pin me down by my wrists and trap me against a mattress. Dry hump me until I come?” Adam swallowed audibly, his cock desperately trying to rally at the words falling from Noah’s lips. He leaned forward and nipped his bottom lip, drawing blood, before sucking on it. “Lucky for you, Daddy issues aren’t just for girls.” He held up his wrists, where the blood was starting to pool in the shape of Adam’s hands.

“Sorry,” Adam said, not really sorry at all but wishing he was for Noah’s sake. He liked marking Noah, wanted everybody to know he was his to protect.

“I just told you, I’m fucked up. I like the pain. The rougher the better. A shrink would have a field day with me.”

“You’re not fucked up,” Adam said fiercely. “You’re perfect.”

“Said the killer,” Noah said with a smirk. His smile faded as he examined Adam. “You good?”

Shock reverberated through Adam as he realized he was. Noah had somehow disarmed him with just one word. “Yeah. Please, finish telling me your story. I’ll try not to lose my shit again.”

Noah slid off him and back onto his back, gazing up at the ceiling and his father’s face. “He looks so evil now. I never thought that before my memories came flooding back. That’s weird, right?”

“Our brains are tricky. They employ all kinds of tactics to keep us functioning. My parents abused me until I simply shut off my emotions. Your brain took all the bad things that happened to you and it locked them away so you could function. Once you started to remember, your perceptions of your father changed.”

Adam watched as Noah swallowed hard, nodding. “I’m sure I could remember more details if I tried. But I don’t want to dig any deeper. What I remember is bad enough. But I need to know their names. I need to make sure they get put down the way my father was.”

“Let me do that for you.”

Noah was already shaking his head. “No.”

Adam’s heart rate shot up at Noah’s refusal. “It’s what I do.”

“Not for me it isn’t. I need to do this myself. Maybe not the killing, but at least the naming. I’m the only one who remembers enough to feel my way to the light switch. I’ve already gotten one name. My father’s best friend, Gary, the owner of the club. He was definitely there. I feel like cracking him might be the key to cracking all the others.”

Adam would happily crack this Gary like a fucking glow stick if that was what Noah needed. “At least let me help. I’m excellent at extracting information from unwilling targets.”

“Fine. But I call the shots.”

This time, it was Adam who smirked. “I thought you liked being told what to do.” He rolled on top of Noah again, pinning him beneath him. “‘Bite me, spank me, pull my hair’? That’s what you said, right?” There was no heat to his words, just a teasing tone that had Noah smiling up at him. Fuck, he liked making him smile.

“Only in the bedroom. You can do whatever you want to me in here. But out there”—he jabbed his thumb towards the window—“I’m in charge. That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.”

Adam pushed Noah’s hair off his face, grinning. “Whatever I want, huh?”

“Within reason,” Noah qualified.

“What’s within reason?” Adam asked, sliding his tongue between Noah’s lips in a kiss that lingered long enough to distract.

“No circus animals. No permanent damage. You can’t pee on me.”

Adam barked out a laugh. “What?”

“It’s a thing. Oh, and no spitting in my mouth. That’s a hard limit.”

Adam was starting to think he and Noah watched entirely different porn. “Noted. But the others weren’t?”

Noah hit him in the shoulder, face flushing. “Shut up.”

“Hey, you’re the one setting the rules. I’m just clarifying.”

“Deal or no deal?” Noah asked.

Adam kissed him once more. “Deal.”