Dark Need by Clarissa Wild

Chapter 9

April

A few weeks ago

The second timeI meet Soren is only more frightening than the first. I was told by a guard to put on a fancy dress. When I did, I was hauled out of my room and dragged downstairs without so much as an explanation as to what was going to happen. I was shoved into a common room with a few chairs and lounges … and him standing in the corner of the room.

He hasn’t said a word. Didn’t even tell me his name. One of Eli’s guards had to fill me in when he brought me to my chamber the very first time. Guess I should be lucky I haven’t had the chance to get acquainted yet, judging from the dirty look on his face.

He still hasn’t taken his eyes off me when more girls start pouring in, each of them as confused as I was. I recognized two of the girls as the ones beside me when Eli welcomed us to this House.

Soren doesn’t even blink at them.

“Hey, what’s going on?” one girl asks while another approaches me.

“Hey, I’m Jane. I don’t think we’ve met before.” She holds out her hand, and I shake it.

“April,” I reply.

“Hi, my name is Olivia,” the other girl says, coming forward too. “Do you know why they’re bringing us together?”

I shake my head.

Another girl walks past us and goes to stand by the windows without saying a word to either of us.

“Who’s that?” I ask.

Jane shrugs. “No clue.”

“Hey, what’s your name?” Olivia calls out to her, but the girl doesn’t even look at her.

As though she’s pretending to be a ghost or something.

Meanwhile, Soren’s focus is solely directed on me, and it gives me the creeps.

I don’t know why he’s homed in on me like that, like I’m some kind of danger to this house. Or to him.

I avert my eyes, but it doesn’t make me feel like any less of a target.

When the final girl comes in, everyone looks at her. She has this kind of majestic air to her. With her flowy black hair and innocent-looking eyes, she looks like a queen even though I know she must also be a prisoner like the rest of us.

“Hey …” I say to her.

The girl takes a deep breath, and replies, “Hi.”

Everyone looks at her, waiting for her to say something as if she knows what’s supposed to happen now. I have no clue why we were all brought together like this.

We all get up and flock to the girl near the door. “Hey, my name is April,” I say.

I just want to make friends, if it’s at all possible here, while we’re prisoners.

“Amelia,” she replies.

“I’m Jane,” another one with a long brown ponytail, big brown eyes, and a big smile says.

“Olivia,” another girl says as she tucks her long blond hair behind her ears and blinks her bright blue eyes.

“Nice to meet you all, finally,” Amelia says, sighing.

How did she know we were here too? Did she hear us come in? Or did one of the men in charge tell her?

She looks at the girl still standing by the windows. She has only glanced at us once, then looked away again as though she’s waiting for something … or someone.

“Who’s that?” she asks.

I turn to look at her. “We don’t know. She won’t say her name.”

“Strange, if you ask me,” Jane adds, shrugging.

“Maybe she’s just scared,” I say, looking away. “I know I was when I first ended up in one of their houses.”

“One?” Amelia frowns. “There are more?”

My eyes widen. “You don’t know?”

She quickly glances at Soren, who is still watching our every move.

I don’t want to draw his attention, so I lean in and whisper, “I came from—”

“No whispering.” Soren’s gruff voice overwhelms the entire room, causing everyone to look at him. But he looks at no one except me. I just cannot look away, no matter how hard I try. I swallow hard at the fire blazing behind his eyes. It’s like he’s warning me not to overstep his boundaries … or else.

“We’re allowed to talk,” Amelia interjects, breaking the spell.

“No whispering,” he repeats.

Amelia rolls her eyes and takes us all to the couch, where we sit down, crossing our legs underneath these lavish dresses in defiance of our captors.

“I came from a cult,” I finally blurt out. “One that forced women to marry men whenever they were chosen.”

“Why?” Jane asks.

I lower my gaze to the floor, feeling embarrassed to talk about it. “To please the men who ruled it. They called that place the Holy Ground and the people who live there ‘The Family.’”

“How strange,” Jane adds.

“Tell me about it. I was taken from my regular old life straight into a cult,” I say. “And then to imagine girls were born into it, thinking it was normal.” I shake my head in disbelief while staring at the floor. “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve seen.”

Amelia grabs my hand and squeezes, bringing warmth to my heart. “That must’ve been rough.”

Tears well up in my eyes as I look up, gazing straight into Soren’s eyes. Silence overcomes me, filling the room with nothing but unsaid words. “But I refused to bow to their rules. And then they sent me here to punish me or something.”

Soren never takes his eyes off me, and for some reason, I feel as though he’s blocked out everything I’m saying and only focuses on my lips and the way they move. That, or he’s enjoying the tears staining my eyes. Asshole.

“But anyway, we’re all here now. How did you all get here?” I say, clearing my throat as I turn my head away from Soren.

“Ah … prefer not to tell,” Jane says, looking away with a blush on her face.

“I’m not,” Olivia says, raising a brow. “My father sent me here after I gave away all his money.”

My eyes widen while Jane’s jaw drops, while Amelia is just grinning like it’s funny or something.

“Wow,” Jane says, almost choking on her words. “I did not expect that.”

“I’m proud of it,” Olivia says, leaning back against the couch. “He gave me a choice. Jail, death, or be sent here. So you know what I chose.”

“Chose?” Amelia raises a brow.

“Yeah …” Jane presses her lips tightly. “Same.”

Amelia frowns. “So you all … actually chose to be here?”

Both Jane and Olivia sigh and roll their eyes as if it’s the most normal answer in the world.

“But what about you, Amelia? What did you do?” Jane asks.

She makes a face, clutching her hands close to her knees. She looks up at Soren, whose eyes are still on me. Everyone here knows we cannot say out loud the things we really want to say or do.

“I … don’t know. I was taken,” Amelia says.

“But you chose this, right?” Olivia mutters. “I mean, we all did.”

“Not me,” I say.

“But I don’t know what I did,” Amelia chimes in.

Everyone looks at her now. She seems to be the only one who doesn’t know why she’s here. The only one who refuses to yield to the gaze of a watchful man. Who isn’t afraid to speak up and say what’s on her mind.

She reminds me of someone I know.

Or someone who I used to know before everything turned to ashes.

Before I signed my own goddamn life away.

* * *

Months ago

The underground venueI’m at gives me creepy vibes. But the newspaper ad about this meeting looked so promising. After all the hurt I’ve been through with Eric, I was really up for some soul-searching, and when they mentioned how God could heal everyone’s wounds and give them love, I felt like it spoke to me.

Still, the people gathered here all seem normal and don’t look like they’re afraid even though we’re all cooped up in a tiny underground space. Were they unable to book a bigger, more spacious venue? Or is it because no one wants them there?

I’ve heard the rumors about the people who give these meetings, how people call them a cult.

But I don’t think it’s fair to judge something when you know nothing about it.

And right now, I am in need of something to help me get back on track.

After all, when your boyfriend cheats on you in your own bed when you promised each other to stay virtuous and whole until marriage … that breaks something inside you.

So I stay put and listen to what one of their preachers has to say. And the more they talk, the more I’m beginning to feel the emotion carried by the crowd, the love that’s shown for God, and how much I yearn to be loved for who I am without judgment. Without fear of losing someone I love.

And the longer they talk, the more I begin to believe what they promise when they talk about a sanctuary for those who have lost faith, for those who want to devote their life to others. To love.

But apprehension sinks in the second they mention sex.

Sex as a part of a religion.

It’s not something I’ve ever heard before, and the idea makes me squeamish.

But the people seem so happy when they talk about it.

Maybe I shouldn’t dismiss the idea merely out of ignorance.

Besides, it was sex that drove Eric away from me.

What if this is exactly what I need?

A chance to start anew, at a place where they’ll teach me how to love in the way that he desired? Maybe I’ll finally understand what men really want … and what I truly need.

A paper and a pen are placed on a table. People are asked to come forward to pledge themselves.

And in a moment of weakness, of utter unhappiness with my own life, I step forward too. And I pick up that pen with trembling hands and sign my own name onto that paper.

And with it … I sign away my freedom.

Because when I lay down that pen, two men usher the signers into another room, where a hood is thrown over our heads.

I squeal. “Stop! Don’t do this! I didn’t ask for this!”

But no one responds.

All I hear are the muffled noises of all the other people in this room, waiting for their fate to be sealed.

What did I sign up for?

Why did I want this?

Panic swirls in my veins as it feels like ages pass before we’re taken and shoved into a car.

“Shh … We’ll be there soon, and then the hoods will be taken off.”

Do they not want us to see where we’re going?

Is the place that secret?

I swallow away the lump in my throat, hoping, praying that I made the right decision.

Even if I know, deep down, that it wasn’t.

But it’s too late to turn back now.

The second I signed my name onto that document, I promised myself to God, to the Holy Land, just for a little bit of love.

Just to make me whole again.

But now I’m starting to think these people will only break me more than Eric ever could.

When the hood is finally torn off my face, I only get a few seconds to get used to the bright sun. But my eyes are still opened wide. Everywhere around me, there are grass and huts and people, living like I imagined people would in the Middle Ages. With men chopping blocks of wood, sowing seeds, sheering sheep, and the women rolling yarn, tending to the kids, cooking meals.

The community is bustling, but there is no time to ask any questions because I’m immediately shoved forward into a wooden hut with nothing but my own whimpers to keep me company.

After a while, someone enters.

“Hello?”

There’s no reply, and I wonder if this is what all the recruited people go through when they come to this place … or if it’s just me.

If they singled me out for some reason.

“Please, let me out,” I ask, hoping someone might answer.

A woman steps forward out of the darkness and stares me down. “Strip.”

I look at her. “What? Why?”

A hard cane comes down on my butt so fast I shriek.

“Ow! What the f—”

Another blow makes me cry out loud.

“Please, stop. I didn’t ask for this.”

“Strip!” she snaps.

I don’t listen, despite her continuing the painful lashes with the cane. I won’t bow down to threats.

“This one refuses, brothers,” the woman barks, and she leaves me in the dark again.

I shiver as the door is opened, and two men step inside.

My eyes widen.

Before I can scream, a hood is thrown over my head again, and I’m plucked out of the hut and forced to walk across the field. Everyone must be staring at me, the thought making me cry, but not as much as the thought of what these men will do to me once they get me where they want me to be.

I don’t understand what’s going on.

I signed up because of them preaching their love for God.

Because they promised a better life.

But this? This is pure torture, and I don’t understand why they’re doing this to me.

“Please, tell me what I did,” I beg. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“You are untouched. You must be trained,” the man to my left replies.

“Trained for what?” I mutter.

“To submit,” the other one answers.

Chills run up and down my spine.

Suddenly, the hood is torn off my face, the blinding light of the sun making me squint. Until I see the darkness ahead. A damp cell with no light, no windows, no nothing, except the darkness to keep me company.

And when I realize what they’re about to do, I panic and thrash in their arms, fighting them off as best as I can. “Please, no, don’t!”

I should’ve never have done this.

But a hard blow to the head knocks me out.

When I come to, I grunt in pain from being knocked out. Did they just hit me to get me to comply?

“Ugh …” I groan, rubbing my scalp. “My head.”

“Hey.”

The sound of someone else’s voice makes my eyes burst open.

But I can’t see anyone.

Or anything.

I’ve been left in complete and utter darkness.

Oh, God.

“Who’s there?” I ask, a mixture of adrenaline and panic swirling through my veins.

“Me. I’m in here with you.” It’s definitely a woman.

How long has she been here?

“Where am I?” I ask, crawling away because I don’t know if I can trust her. I wish I could see her, but there don’t seem to be any windows in here. “Why is it so dark?”

“We’re locked in a cell.”

“What?” I mutter.

That means what I saw when they tore off my hood, that damp cell in front of me … it wasn’t a nightmarish spawn when I lost consciousness … that thing was real.

And I’m inside of it.

Tears well up in my eyes. “Why? I didn’t do anything.”

“Neither did I,” the woman answers.

“I was just at a meeting, and then—oh, God.”

I’m going to be sick.

Despite my pleadings, I’ve been thrown and locked inside that cell, sealing me off from this world and forcing me to become their prisoner.

A captive inside a cult.