Sleet Banshee by S.J. Tilly

CHAPTER ELEVEN

MEGHAN

Tonight’s game nearly gave me a heart attack. It was bad luck that our home opener was against Utah, the reigning Cup champions.

The normal stress of watching my team lose was compounded by Sebastian being in front of the goal through it all. He’s not to blame. Hockey’s a team sport.

My younger brother played goalie, and I heard my parents repeat that line to him every time his team lost. They’re right. When the Defense is strong, the puck doesn’t get a chance to make it near the goalie. Of course that’s in a perfect world. Tonight was not a perfect world. Tonight was a combination of our team messing up, the refs making bad calls, and the other team performing well. It’s not Sebastian’s fault, but the hang of his head as he skated off the ice said it all.

The only part worse than watching his reaction after missing a save was seeing him punch that guy.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a goalie get involved in a fight before. But Sebastian most definitely did. The player he hit was a prick who’d taken a cheap shot after the puck was already in Sebastian’s control. Zach saw the asshole move and was the first to go in, fists flying. But that’s his thing. It’s not Sebastian’s thing. Not at all. When I saw him push into the fight, my honey badger wrapped her claws around my throat and started squeezing in terror. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t get my vocal cords to work.

I don’t know how Izzy deals with watching her man throw down all the time. I’m a fucking hot mess over that fight and no one even swung at Sebastian. I want to thank Zach for being such a good Enforcer, but I think that’d probably embarrass all parties involved. Maybe I’ll just bake him a cake. Or tell Izzy to give him a blowjob.

I take a deep breath, in an effort to chill out. This is not Sebastian’s rookie season. He’s a professional. This isn’t the first game he’s lost, and it won’t be the last.

It doesn’t help. No matter how many times I tell myself that he’s fine, I can’t shake the image of him skating off the ice looking defeated. I need to see him. I need to make sure he’s okay.

And that’s how I ended up here, in the guts of the arena, outside the locker room.

Izzy’s going out with her dad, Steph’s left with her mom, but Katelyn said she’d be coming down here to meet up with Jackson after the game. When she mentioned it, I asked if I could join her. It was an impulse, but once the words were out I couldn’t take them back. Katelyn didn’t ask me why. She probably assumed I wanted to get a look at some of the players up close and personal. And really - that’s not a bad idea, because these boys are built.

“Be right back.” Katelyn taps my arm.

I spot Jackson walking out into the hall, talking with his friend Luke. Izzy already wandered away looking for her dad.

“Take your time,” I say, still leaning against the wall. “Actually, don’t worry about me. I’ll just hang for a few more minutes, then I’ll find my way out.”

“You sure?” Katelyn asks.

“Yeah, yeah -” I wave her off. “Go attack your man.”

“Okay, bye!” She grins and gives me a quick hug.

I roll my eyes as she races off towards Jackson. Those two are the real deal. They both knew it from the initial meet. Sure, they had a few bumps in the road, but - once they declared their love for each other - they’ve only gotten closer. They’re like a fine wine: better with time.

Me? I’m like an open bottle of wine. I get bitter and turn to vinegar when left untouched.

Thankfully, there are lots of other people down here for me to blend in with. Some of them work here, but the rest look like family members of the players.

I’m dressed casually, and I fit in fine with the crowd. I’m sporting tight jeans, knee-high black boots, a Wilder Sleet jersey that Katelyn gave me last year, and my blue feather earrings. The time I spent on my hair earlier paid off; for once, my locks are in perfect Disney Princess curls. I remind myself that I look good, hoping to bolster my confidence against the nerves churning in my belly.

Try as I might, the nerves are winning. This was a mistake. Sebastian won’t want to see me. I should leave.

Just as I push off the wall to make my exit, Sebastian walks out of the locker room. He’s wearing black pants and a white button up, with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His hair is still damp from his shower, and he looks sexier than I’ve ever seen him before.

I really shouldn’t be here.

Before I can sneak off, Sebastian looks up and locks eyes with me.

We stare at each other for a few seconds before he tears his gaze away to glance around the hallway. Presumably wondering who I came down here with.

Looking back at me, he takes a few steps closer.

“Uh, hi -” I kinda croak out the words.

Yeesh. I really should’ve planned what I was going to say. I’m usually so confident, even when I shouldn’t be. But this just feels so awkward. I knew I should’ve left.

“Hey.” Sebastian stops, close enough for me to touch.

“Hey.” My smile probably looks more like a grimace.

I’m about ready to sprint down the hall away from him. This is embarrassing.

“What are you doing down here?” His brows draw together in confusion.

I hear ya, man. What the hell am I doing down here?

“Um, well. . . Katelyn was coming down to meet up with Jackson and I’ve never been, so I wanted to check it out.” I shrug.” She took off the second her big slice of man appeared. So, umm… ” I cut off my rambling. I waited down here for him. I should just say what I came to say.

I grab a hold of his sleeve and pull him a little further down the hall, away from the other lingering people. I figure the sleeve is less personal than grabbing his hand. Skin to skin contact might fry what’s left of my brain.

Sebastian’s deep chuckle Plinkos through my body. “Banshee, if you’re trying to sneak me into an empty closet to have your wicked way with me, you’re going the wrong direction.”

I turn back to face him. “I’m not even going to ask how you know that.”

A smirk is all the answer I get. Gross.

“Well, if you’re not here to ravage me, then what are you doing here?”

My cheeks puff out with my exhale. “Right. Okay. So, I just wanted to come down here to… see you. See if you’re okay?”

His smirk is replaced with a mask of indifference as I speak those last four words.

“See if I’m okay?” he repeats back to me, slowly.

“Yeah. I just know how tough losses can be. Especially as a goalie.”

I didn’t realize I was still holding onto his sleeve, until his other hand comes up and pulls on my wrist, causing me to release my grip.

“Oh, you know how tough it is?” The ugliness dripping off his tone prickles at my skin.

Mayday! Mayday!

Mortification starts to creep over me, and I grip my hands together in front of my stomach. “Umm, one of my brothers was a goalie, my other brothers played too, but I’d always hear my parents talking to them after a loss. They’d remind him that it’s a team sport, ya know. It’s not all on one player to win or lose. But still my little brother would always take each goal personally. And that’s just not right. And then watching you tonight, I was worried…” I cut off my next thought as Sebastian takes a step forward, nearly closing the distance between us.

But the vibe is not sexy. It’s hostile.

“That’s all very touching, Meghan.” The emphasis he uses on my name makes it sound like an insult. “I’m sure your little brother tried very hard. And I’m sure his high school put the same pressure on him as I have on me. But how I feel, or don’t feel, is none of your goddamn business. And pity from some puck bunny is the last fucking thing I need tonight.”

I’m stunned. Completely and utterly stunned.

I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, but I never expected him to respond with this level of cruelty. I know I was stumbling through my explanation, but I meant well. I was just trying to help.

I take a small step back. As a toxic combination of humiliation and hurt flares in my cheeks.

Worst of all, I feel my lip start to tremble. I bite down on it to keep it steady.

This was dumb. I was dumb to come here. I don’t actually know him. What am I doing?

I take another step back.

I can see the moment when Sebastian realizes the effect his words have had on me. The look on his face twists. Anger is still there, but now it’s mixed with something else. Something I can’t read.

Everything about this was a mistake. I need to get out of here.

Swallowing hard, I force the lump down my throat. “Okay.” It comes out as a whisper, but I know he heard it.

I don’t give him any time to respond, or to insult me further. I only know the one way to get out of here and that’s back the way I came.

As I move to step around Sebastian, I see him reach out towards me.

No. Fuck him. Fuck this.

I cross my arms tightly over my chest, away from his outstretched fingers, and rush past.

I keep my eyes on the floor as I pass through the remaining people in the hallway. I’m glad that Katelyn is gone, because I’m sure she could read my face like a book. I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to crawl into hole and cry.