Dark Redeemer by Raven Scott
6
Massimo
Ipause as I’m opening the container. It would be so easy to snort all the cocaine in one sitting. I’ll probably die. Then again, I’m in a hospital, so there’s a chance I’ll pull through when the nurses finally notice. Hell, given how understaffed this place is, they’ll probably notice too late.
Dying is the easy way out, though. Why not just take a few hits and forget all my problems? The constant lethargy I feel will become a thing of the past. I’ll be full of energy, able to walk.
I’ll probably become an addict. I’ve always scoffed at those who got addicted to drugs. Telling myself they were weak. But so what? I didn’t understand their pain. Didn’t understand how eager they were to escape from reality.
I stare at the bag. I’ll just have one hit. Just one. I’ll—
But that’s only another easy way out. No, I need this to be hard. Part of my punishment for letting Matteo die. I can’t have even one hit.
I hurl the bag into the garbage, not allowing myself to take that path.
But I understand Matteo now better than I ever did.
Matteo.
He died, so I have to live. That’s the way I look at it. He gave his life, throwing himself across my body to protect me. That’s what I believe, even though I don’t remember. It’s the only way to explain why I’m still alive. And I’m not going to let his death be for nothing.
My hatred for this place, for all the doctors and nurses, is going to pull me through. Because I plan to walk out of here on my own two feet, and when I do, there will be hell to pay. One day, I’ll be the greatest mobster this island has ever known.
I owe it to my brother to achieve that.
He wanted to build a racetrack. I’ll build an empire.
* * *
Over the next few months,I slowly improve. The physical therapy is exhausting, but I keep at it, driven by my rage and the need to punish myself for letting Matteo die on my watch. The nurses are surprised I can even get out of bed, let alone walk. Some of them are obviously attracted to me, but I ignore it. I’m never going to fuck a nurse again. They’re all complicit in Matteo’s death as far as I’m concerned.
They gave up.
So I work, and I fight like Roberto told me to do. Get into a routine. I’m always exercising, every waking moment. If I’m not using the walker, I’m doing whatever exercises I can in my bed—leg lifts, ab crunches, even pushups. Even so, my muscle mass shrivels. I don’t care. I know I’ll get it back. When this is done, I’ll punish myself in the gym, and I’ll keep on punishing myself for the rest of my days.
Forgive me, Matteo.
True to his word, whenever Roberto visits me, he always has a glass of wine in hand. He won’t drink alone. Doesn’t let me drink either, but that’s beside the point. My other brothers and my sister visit almost daily, too, cheering me on, encouraging me. They let me know they’re here for me. I’ll never forget this. Never. Still, it’s not enough to sate the hatred I feel for the rest of the world, and for anyone who isn’t part of my family.
Nine months later the doctors discharge me and I walk out of the hospital on my own two feet. They call it a miracle. I call it inevitable. When you’re fueled by hatred, consumed by the need to hurt, not just yourself but everyone else, nothing holds you back.
Nine months. Enough time to be reborn into the underworld as a new man.
And I have been reborn. I’m ready now to do whatever it takes to see my family succeed. And I’m eager to kill again. I want people to pay for what happened to my brother. Because someone has to pay. A single death isn’t enough. A million won’t be enough.
I reach out to my associates, asking them if there are any contract hits available. They tell me that none are open at the moment, but promise to keep me in mind for future jobs.
So instead I return to the villa with my brothers and my sister. The stable we had originally intended to build has been converted into a gun range at my orders, and it’s there I practice and hone my skills. At the local gym I also switch to mixed martial arts instead of boxing. I soon earn a name for myself, with very few willing to take me on—unless they want to leave the ring with damage. I hire a specialized trainer to teach me knife fighting, but he quits after I chop off his fingers. It was an accident, or so I tell myself.
When I make a visit to the Amato estate to deliver a package from another family, I see Angela again. She’s as beautiful as ever, and I’m filled with the urge to possess her and make her mine all over again. I want to destroy her beauty, trample it into the ground, as the world did my brother. Such beauty doesn’t deserve to exist if my brother can’t exist. I swear right then that if she meets my eye I’ll kidnap her and shoot my way out, but she never looks up from her place in the garden. So I leave. Probably a good thing for all parties involved.
I decide that I’m not going to the Amato family estate anymore. Not until I’m ready to take her and kill her father. So I shave my beard.
One night, my brothers tell me they’re having problems with another jockey.
“We paid him two hundred Euros, but he didn’t throw the race like he promised,” Enrico says.
“Are you saying he fucking won?” I ask.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Enrico replies. “I found him yesterday morning and he tried to pay back the two hundred, but I told him he now owes us twenty thousand. The deadline to pay up was today, but he hasn’t shown. Probably hiding at home.”
“We have his address?” I press.
“We do,” Stefano says. “But I doubt he has the cash.”
I nod, getting up. “I’ll handle this.”
“Are you sure?” Luciano asks. He must have heard something in my voice, because he rests a hand on my thigh as if to stop me.
“I’m positive,” I tell him. “I need this.” It’ll be good practice for me, when the time comes to gun down Angela’s father and brothers.
“We don’t have to kill him…”
I give him a dark look. “I’ll decide that.”
Luciano purses his lips, then shrugs. “You’re in charge.”
* * *
When I’m donewith the jockey, there isn’t much left. I needed to make an example of him, so that others will know what happens when you defy a Moretti. Our stock will rise in the underworld because of it. Like Luigi said, there’s no room for nice gangsters in this world.
As I look at his dead body, I feel nothing. I tell myself I’m building our empire and yet I wonder if this is the way. It wouldn’t be the first empire built on blood…
Luigi’s words echo in my head.
Get out of this business while you still can. Before you get in so deep you can never get out.
I suppose my descent into darkness is now complete. I’ve fallen to the bottom of the pit from which there is no return. I was the first of my brothers to kill, and now also the first to do it merely to prove a point.
I turn away from the body, removing my gloves as I make my way back to the rental. My surviving brothers, and my sister, are all I have now. They’re my lifeline to what’s left of my humanity.
If there is anything left at all…
I think of Angela Amato in that moment. This was practice for my endgame. I need to become a cold, heartless killer so I can murder her father and take her away.
But it’s funny… it never occurred to me until now that she won’t want what I’ve become. I almost laugh at the thought.
I’ve turned myself into a monster for nothing.
It’s probably for the best, since I’m incapable of love now. I’ve been surviving on a steady diet of rage and hate for the past nine months and it’s only going to get worse.
It doesn’t matter, she’ll still be mine, whether she wants me or not. I took her first kiss, and I’m going to take everything else from her. I’ll squelch the light inside her, the inner glow that makes up so much of her beauty. Maybe then I’ll finally be satisfied. Maybe then my brother will be avenged.
Somehow, I doubt it.
I’ve always struggled against the darkness.
Now, I’ve finally lost to it.
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