Boys Club by Selena

twenty

Harper Apple

I don’t want to be Mr. D’s spy anymore, but I don’t want to go back to Faulkner, either. I can’t trust Mr. D not to do something shady if I do that. Despite what he says, I’m not sure he’d let me go that easily. He’s invested a lot into me already.

After his refusal to let me walk away after the failed Swans initiation, I’m not sure what to do. I could tell someone, but I’m not sure who I’d tell at this point. Ironically, the one person who could help is probably Royal, and I can’t tell him without getting myself killed. After all, I got plenty out of the arrangement with Mr. D. I’m not sure he’s the bad guy here. Maybe I am.

If I told my mom, she’d just laugh.

I told you not to go to that fancy school. What did you expect? Nothing in life is free.

None of my friends can know, and even if they did, and they wanted to help, they couldn’t. Even if I went to Baron Dolce and had him use his hacking skills to find out who Mr. D is, it wouldn’t help. No matter who he is, I’m indebted to him until I walk out of that school. The only way out is to give up all of it and go back to Faulkner and lose any chance of getting a scholarship out of this town. That’s the one thing in this world I’m not willing to do.

And it’s not like I could go to the cops, even if I were the kind of person who would do that. I haven’t done anything illegal for Mr. D, and he’s not doing anything illegal. Even if he’s made lewd comments, I’m an adult. When he started messaging, when I was seventeen, I was above the age of consent in this state, so it’s not like he’s creeping on a little girl. Every time I think about what I’ve told him, what I’ve done for him, I feel sick. I started doing this shit to get what I want, but now I want out, and I’m stuck.

I can’t get out without self-destructing. I’m trapped. Helpless. Everything I hate worst in the world.

So, I keep doing my homework and getting good grades, and I walk into the fancy school every day like I belong. I keep seeing Royal, and I keep my friends, and I keep my secret. And it eats away at me every single day, weighs on my every step, until I’m not sure what I’m doing it all for. So, I do what anyone trapped in a bad situation does.

I lie.

If Mr. D won’t let me go, and I don’t want to rat out my friends anymore, what other option is left? When it’s time for March tuition to be paid, I tell Mr. D I fucked the twins and am now a Swan. What’s he going to do about it? No one but me and them know it’s not true.

The last day of school before spring break rolls around at last. Royal meets me at my locker and gives me that arrogant nod that still makes me want to smack him half the time. “Let’s go.”

“Yes, your majesty,” I say, rolling my eyes. But I close my locker and follow because he doesn’t have practice anymore, and I won’t see him for two weeks. I’m not missing our last afternoon at the river before the separation.

The twins and the Waltons walk out with us, but only I will climb in the Range Rover with Royal. Then, he’s all mine.

When we get to the front of the lot, we wave to the Waltons, who head to their cars. I try not to let my jealousy rage, knowing they’ll be at the ski lodge with Royal, probably trying to cozy up by the fire after hitting the slopes. I trust Gloria, and Everleigh’s a little too giggly to be Royal’s type. I wouldn’t put anything past Eleanor, though. She’s never forgiven me for ruining her shot.

“See you tonight,” Baron says, climbing into the passenger seat of Duke’s Hummer. Duke hops up in, and we climb into the Rover.

Royal turns the key, and a deafening boom rocks the car. The hood flies up so hard it hits the windshield. Glass shatters, spraying us in the face. Flames shoot from under the hood. I hear Royal cursing through the ringing in my ears from the explosion.

He lunges across me, throwing my door open.

“Get out of the fucking car,” he’s barks, shoving me so hard I go flying.

I roll once before slamming my head into the running board of Duke’s vehicle. Before I can recover, Duke grabs me under the arms and hauls me up, throwing me over his shoulder and darting behind the Hummer. Royal’s standing there cursing and wiping blood off his face.

People are running our way, gathering around, the small crowd taking pictures and talking on their phones.

“Where’s Baron?” I ask, trying to get my head together.

Royal nods toward the front of the car, and I twist around on Duke’s shoulder to see Baron standing in front of the Range Rover, videoing on his phone.

“You can put me down now,” I say to Duke, who deposits me back onto my feet, pushing me into Royal.

Royal spins me around and grabs me by the shoulders, looking over my face and neck. He picks a few pieces of glass from my skin and brushes off my shoulders. “You hurt?”

I shake my head, looking him over the same way. “You?”

“Fine,” he says, his jaw tight.

I reach for a piece of glass embedded in his chin, but he jerks away and stalks over to the Hummer, climbing into the driver’s seat and slamming the door. He pops the hood, then jumps out and pushes Gloria and Baron back when they try to open the hood. I want to yell at him to stop, that he’s going to get himself blown up, but he’s too quick. He lifts the hood, and my throat catches. For one second, I can’t breathe.

When nothing happens, my heart turns to rippling liquid in my chest. As if he can tell I’m about to lose my shit, Duke wraps his arms around me from behind and presses his chin down on the top of my head, anchoring me like he did at the river that day. I’m too relieved to pull away and play it cool, too grateful for his strong arms holding me up so I don’t have to do it on my own for once.

Royal and Baron stand back, and Gloria pokes around under the hood for a few minutes before giving Royal a thumb’s up. He climbs back into the driver’s seat.

“What is he doing?” I ask, darting forward.

“Just wait,” Duke says, grabbing me around the waist and yanking me back. A murmur goes up from the crowd, and I try to wrench away, my heart jackhammering. It just about stops when Royal turns the key. But the car starts normally.

A collective exhalation goes through the crowd, and then excited chatter as they realize the show is over, and it’s time to relive the excitement.

Gloria closes the hood, and Duke releases me and hops up in the passenger seat.

Baron slides into the back of the Hummer and throws open the door, giving me a questioning look. “Coming?”

I climb in, and Royal backs out as people scatter out of the way. He roars out of the lot, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.

“Mind telling me what the fuck just happened?” I ask.

“I fucking knew it,” Royal growls. “I knew he was still here.”

“Preston Darling happened,” Baron explains.

“He bombed your car?” I ask. Again, there’s a reason I stay out of gang business, and it’s for shit like this. I have no interest in war or blowing shit up. But I’m involved, whether or not I expected this. I knew getting in with the Dolces was dangerous. Everyone told me. You don’t get that much power without making enemies, and their enemies are pretty dangerous, too.

“Fucking stalker,” Duke says, shaking his head. “He fights like a girl.”

“Smart?” I ask.

“Like a pussy,” Duke says. “He’ll never come out of hiding and fight us like a real man.”

Maybe because there’s three of you, and only one of him, I think, but I’m not about to say that shit out loud. Besides, a horrible, sickening thought it churning in my stomach. What if it wasn’t Preston Darling? What if it was Mr. D?

Does he have other spies besides me? Someone still in the Swans? Colt said the Darlings have allies hidden all over town, afraid to come out. If one of the Dolce boys’ friends is a Darling sympathizer, and he told Mr. D that I’m lying, would he target the boy who made me change allegiances? Or would he come after me?

“We have to flush him out,” Royal says.

No one says anything for a long minute.

“We tried that,” Duke says finally.

“And Dad said their family is off limits.”

“Wait, what?” I ask, my mind racing. I’m so tangled in this web I can’t find the thread to release me. The boys know I’m not a Swan. If they told Mr. Dolce, and he told Mr. D—Preston’s Dad—thinking he’s a friend, and Mr. D went after his son to punish me… Is Mr. Dolce going to come after me next? This is way too fucking complicated. If I wanted this disastrous mess of violence and backstabbing and confusion in my life, I would have just tried to be popular at Faulkner. I didn’t sign up for this shit. I just wanted to go to college.

“Fuck him,” Royal says, ignoring me. “He got his revenge. He doesn’t get to stop us from getting ours.”

“We could go after Magnolia,” Duke says.

That about douses me in ice water. This problem is so much bigger than me.

“Preston thinks he’s the head of that family now,” Baron says. “If we target her, he might come out and defend her.”

“Are you seriously talking about fucking some twelve-year-old?” I ask.

“She’s not twelve,” Baron says. “She’s four years younger than us. You know how girls are at that age. She’ll be flattered by the attention of three older guys. Hell, it’ll be like taking candy from a baby.”

“So she’s thirteen?” I demand, glaring at him. “That’s fucked up, y’all. Like, criminally.”

“You were fucking guys when you were thirteen,” Royal points out.

“Not guys,” I say. “One guy. And it was a huge mistake.”

“That’s how you learn,” Duke says, flashing a cocky grin.

“Oh, I see,” Baron says slowly, nodding as he studies me.

“Don’t try to psychoanalyze me to excuse the sick shit you’re talking about doing,” I snap.

“It doesn’t have to be Magnolia,” Royal says. “There is one other person that selfish leech will come running for.”

“Yeah, but she’s in California,” Duke says.

“Not Dolly,” Baron says, snapping his fingers. “Lindsey.”

There’s a charged silence.

I’m the one who breaks it. “You’re going after his weak little sister again? What did she do to you?”

I remember Lindsey’s blubbering meltdown at the destruction party. She couldn’t even get out of her closet and push through a crowd. There’s no way she can handle gang warfare type shit.

“It’s not about what she did,” Baron explains, as if I’m stupid to have forgotten what he said in the basement. “It’s about what her family did.”

“So, you’re going after an innocent girl because you hate her brother.”

“He’ll show his face for her,” Royal says.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I say. “You’re using her just to get to her brother, because she’s a girl and can’t defend herself from a bunch of thugs?”

“It’s how the world works, Apple,” Duke says. “Welcome aboard.”

“No fucking way,” I say. “You’ll have to think of something else.”

“He went after Gloria first,” Royal says quietly. “That’s how he got away the last time.”

“What did he do to Gloria?”

“Nothing,” he mutters.

“Because we gave in and let him go,” Baron says. “It’s time for him to get a taste of that medicine.”

“So, he played dirty, and that makes it right?” I ask.

“It’s not about what’s right, Cherry Pie,” Duke says. “All’s fair.”

“It’s a good idea,” Baron says. “We left Lindsey alone because she caved after like two days, and it wasn’t any fun. She’s too pathetic to even bother breaking, but her turn was always coming back around. Tick tock, bitch. Time’s up.”

“What are you going to do to her?” I ask, crossing my arms and glaring across the seat at him.

“Whatever it takes,” Royal says quietly.

“What does that mean?”

“What do you think it means?” Duke asks, a manic grin on his face. “Don’t worry. We’ll make it quick and painless. Or at least quick.”

“What if she doesn’t know where he is?”

“Then we’ll send him a message,” Baron says, a gleam of excitement lighting his face. “Videos pack the most punch, don’t you agree, Harper?”

I want to destroy them all over again every time I think about the video they’ve all seen, laughed at, passed around. It’s been a while since I wanted revenge, but I haven’t forgotten what they did to me. Smart people forgive, but they never forget.

“How do you even know it was Preston who blew up your car?” I ask.

“Do you know it wasn’t?” Royal asks, watching me in the rearview. “Is there someone else it could have been?”

“No,” I say quickly. “I don’t know anything about any of this shit.”

He and Duke exchange a look, and I want to scream in frustration because I’m missing something, and I fucking hate not knowing what it is. I have a secret that could destroy Royal, but he has so many more, and he never shared any of them with me. We’ve been together for months. I got arrested for them, proved my loyalty to him in that basement. I go to his games, fuck him every way he wants, hang out with his friends. I’ve done everything, and he’s had my back for it, but he’s never trusted me.

If he’s not Mr. D, how does he know I can’t be trusted?

“It was Preston,” Duke says. “He’s still pissed about what we did to his house.”

“Lindsey’s our best shot,” Baron says. “She’s his sister, and she’ll break in five minutes.”

They’re right. Lindsey’s weak. Maybe all the Darling women are. Maybe that’s why the Darling men pick them. I remember her mom shrieking as they carried her out. I remember what Baron said about the others—two in a mental institution, one dead by suicide. This has to end.

And not just for the Darlings. It has to end for everyone. These boys need help. They’re out of control, and they’re not just destroying the Darlings. They’re destroying themselves. I remember Baron’s unaffected tone when he described what they’d done, how desensitized he is by the whole thing, so he doesn’t even see that it’s wrong. Maybe he really is a sociopath, and he doesn’t know it’s wrong. But Duke does. His constant binge drinking tells me that—he thinks he can numb it all away, and he does a good job of it. And then there’s Royal, with his empty, dead eyes that I almost never see anymore.

He needs help more than anyone.

It’s been four months since he beat up Colt, four months since he’s had to see a Darling around school. The Darlings kidnapped him, and I totally get wanting revenge. I understand the need for vengeance as much as the next person, but at some point, you have to move on and let go of the fantasy. At some point, you have to let something else matter more. At some point, Royal’s revenge became just another one of his self-destructive tendencies. He’s not just hurting the Darlings. He’s hurting the Dolces—himself and his brothers.

“And if Preston doesn’t come out, or he’s not even in Faulkner anymore, you ruined his sister’s life for nothing?” I ask, keeping my voice steady even though I want to knock some sense into all three of them.

“Then it was Colt,” Royal says. “I hear he’s home from the hospital with a pretty new face. If he’s stupid enough to fuck with us, he deserves to turn around and go right back in.”

No. Fuck no. And fuck all this. I’ve had enough.

I’ve done a lot of things this year I’m not proud of. I’ve wondered if I’m even a good person, if Royal’s darkness and the rottenness of their rich world has made me into a person I don’t like very much. After all, it’s my own ambition, my drive to stay at their elite school, that’s behind every bad thing I’ve done.

But this is where I draw the line.

It’s one thing to hang out with thugs with criminal ties or to ruin a house. It’s bad enough to fuck the man who nearly killed my friend or to hear what they’ve done in the past. This isn’t their past. This is now.

And it ends now.

“Don’t look so freaked,” Duke says, turning around in the seat and winking at me. “We won’t kill her. We’ll just have some fun with her until her brother comes crawling out of his hole to try and be a hero.”

“So you’re going to rape some innocent girl because her brother damaged your car?”

“You make it sound so barbaric,” Duke says with mockery in his voice.

“It is.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Baron says. “But this is the language the Darlings understand. Sure, it’s a little primitive, but it works.”

“People have been doing this shit since Viking days, baby,” Duke says. “We’re all just marauders, aren’t we?”

No.

No, we’re not. I wanted to get in with the Dolces, to be their friend and accepted into their boys’ club. But I’m not participating in this. It didn’t feel right to wreck their house, but to wreck a person… That’s way beyond a line I’m willing to cross. Especially when that person has done zero wrong and doesn’t deserve this in any way. Just because she happens to be born into a family they hate, that shouldn’t make her a target. I don’t know her feelings about being a Darling, but I can’t help but remember Colt’s story about what they did to his sister. Fuck if I’m going to let that happen again.

Royal pulls up outside my house and parks. “Get out.”

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“Not your business,” he snaps. “This doesn’t concern you.”

Fuck. I shouldn’t have protested out loud. I should have played along, found out when and where they’re going to take her. Now they know I’m not down for this, and they won’t say anything in front of me. They might even suspect the truth—that I’m planning to warn her.

My mind races through possibilities. I don’t know the Darling’s neighborhood gate code, and her house was basically demolished the last time I saw it. I don’t know if they rebuilt and moved back in. Wherever she is, she’ll be staying with her mom—assuming her mom survived, since I never heard otherwise—hopefully somewhere safe. I could try to track her down outside FHS, but I’m not sure what car she drives or when she leaves school. She’s probably already gone home for today, not to mention that my bike is at school, so I don’t have transportation right now. I don’t have her number or the number for any of her friends, since obviously we were in different crowds.

I can’t think of another option right now. I know better than to try to change the Dolce boys’ minds. They’re already suspicious enough of outsiders. Once I showed any doubt, it was over. They won’t trust me to know more.

I reach for the door, but Baron grabs my wrist. “Keep your mouth shut about anything you think you heard today,” he says. “We’ll know if you talk, and it won’t change anything for her. It will only change things for you.”

Our eyes meet, and a shiver crawls down my spine. I don’t even want to think about what he means by that. But I also know I’m not going to sit back and do nothing and let them destroy another girl’s life. I’m tough. I can take whatever they dish out. Lindsey can’t. An eighth grader can’t. And who knows how many other girls’ lives they’ve already ruined, and how many more they’ll destroy if I don’t stand up and fight for all of them. For all of us.

I climb out of the car. Halfway up the walkway, I hear a door slam behind me. My first instinct is to run. To race up the walkway and into the house and lock the door. Fear bolts through me as I hear heavy footfalls on the concrete behind me. The Dolce boys always announce their presence with their footsteps, as if even their stride dominates everything around them. They are here, and the world better take notice.

Royal falls into step beside me. He doesn’t say anything until we reach the door. If I ever imagined Royal walking me to the door, it wasn’t like this. There’s only dread inside me. I feel like I’m on death row.

Dead girl walking.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

No fucking way. Even if we were on good terms right now, he’s not seeing how I live.

I turn to face him, shaking my hair back. “Whatever you have to say, just say it.”

He meets my eyes squarely, and his voice is flat when it comes. “It’s over.”