Billionaire’s Sins by L. Steele

29

Edward

She blinks and color smears her cheeks. Fuck me, it’s not possible. She is young, but not that young. She is nineteen. Don’t most women these days lose their virginity much earlier? Thanks to the confessions I’ve heard, I know that to be true. Not that I’d ever share it with anyone. Not even now that I am walking away from the priesthood. But still. Ava, a virgin?

"Answer me." I lower my voice to a hush, "Are you, a virgin, Eve?"

She nods. "I should have told you, but I didn’t want to scare you away."

I squeeze my eyes shut. My dick lengthens further inside her, the thickness grazing against her soft, melting, warmth. My balls tighten and my thigh muscles spasm. She was a virgin. I was her first. Something fierce grips my chest. I shouldn’t have come here… And yet, I wouldn’t trade this for anything else in the world.

And I am going to leave her after taking her virginity? Goddamn it, this isn’t fair. Not to her. Not to me. Of course, He had to orchestrate it this way, to make sure I would carry the memory of her sweetness, her warm, wet pussy that clamps around my dick, her virgin cunt that no one has had before. I am her first. And damn, if I am going to let anyone else take what is mine after this. I have to find a way to return. I will find a way to come back. No way, am I going to stay away from her after this. I lower my forehead to hers. "You should have," I agree, "and it would have ensured that I stayed far away from you."

"And now?" she whispers.

"Now, nothing will keep us apart, Eve."

"Then why are you not following through with your word?"

I lean back, balance my weight on my arms. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you not fucking me like you mean it?"

I can’t stop the chuckle that rips up my throat.

This woman. The things she says.

"I don’t want to hurt you." I lower my head and rub her nose with mine. "It’s your first time. I’d rather take it slow."

"I’d rather that you fuck me the way I want you to."

She tilts up her hips and I slide further inside her soaking wet channel. The heat, the warmth, the way her pussy clamps down on my dick, and it’s like I am coming home. My heart stutters. My pulse pounds at my temples. The blood drains to my groin and my cock thickens inside of her. She gasps, tips up her chin. Those green eyes widen with surprise, with lust, with a tenderness that sparks off an answering heat in my chest. My belly knots. My dick throbs inside of her. I want to own her, to brand her, to possess her, to make her mine. To ensure she doesn’t forget me during the time I am gone.

Does that make me selfish, God? Does that make me the kind of sinner whom You’ll never forgive? Oh, wait. I don’t need Your approval anymore. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

"Edward."

My name on her lips, the scent of her trapped in my skin, the feel of her legs wrapped around my waist. The heat of her pussy enveloping my dick. Fuck me, but I’ve died and gone to heaven. Or hell… And what a hell this is… One of my own making. One where I have never felt more, sensed more, heard more. One I can feel with every pore in my body. I touch my forehead to hers. "The things you make me do, Eve. You drive me out of my head, you know that?"

"That makes two of us." She reaches up, runs her fingers through my hair. "Please." She swallows. "Please make love to me."

My throat closes. My limbs tremble and something hot stabs at my chest. "I can do that, my darling Eve. I can give you this to remember me by."

"Remember you by?" She gulps. "Why do you keep saying tha—?"

I push forward, and my dick slips in further.

"Edward," she whines. "It’s too much. I am too full, I—"

"Shh." I lower my head, brush my lips over hers. "You’re beautiful, Eve, and it’s not just your body I’m talking about. It’s who you are. It’s the goodness in you. That purity of your soul that attracted me to you."

"I… It did?" She glances away.

"I saw you and knew there was something different about you. I knew you were going to be trouble, then."

"You did?"

I nod. "What I didn’t count on was how much you’d occupy my thoughts."

"Same." Her lips tremble. "I couldn’t get you out of my mind, from the moment I saw you."

Warmth fills my chest. This connection is all I have left. And I am going to have to walk away from it, too. Goddam it. Why did it have to turn out this way?

"What’s wrong?" she whispers.

"Nothing." I pull out of her, then push forward, sliding in even further this time.

"Oh," she gasps again, then digs her heels into my back. She pushes up and into me and I grip her hip.

"Easy." I smirk. "I don’t want you to be sore."

She snorts. "A bit late for that."

"So sassy." I scan her features. "You come across so much more grown up than your years, that it’s easy to forget sometimes that you are only nineteen."

"Old soul." She half smiles. "It's why I am so independent; I've always been self-reliant."

"I wish..." I could be there for you, is what I want to say. Instead, I thrust my hips forward, ease myself inside her.

Her entire body jolts. "Oh." Her eyelids flutter. "Oh, Edward."

"When you say my name like that," I grit out, "it kills me, Eve. You know that?"

She peers up at me from under her eyelashes. "What else do I do to you?"

"You fishing for compliments?" I mock scowl.

She bites down on her lower lip. "You ready to give me compliments?"

"Always." I brace myself on my elbows, allow her to adjust to my size. Slowly, slowly… A bit late for that, though, considering how I had taken her arse earlier. "If I’d known…" I swallow, "If I’d realized that you were a virgin—"

"You wouldn’t have come at all," she completes my statement.

I rake my gaze across her features and she blows out a breath.

"It’s why I didn’t tell you. There were enough barriers between us, as it was. Add to that, I was a virgin, and I knew you’d never give this," she gestures between us, "whatever this is between us, a chance."

"You should have told me, Eve."

"I don’t regret it." She sets her jaw.

I purse my lips, not wanting to reveal what is on my mind. How can I? When she has given me something so unexpected. Something that affects me so deeply… But I cannot let that stop me. I need to put distance between myself and what I had done. I need time to work out what I want to do in life. It's not fair on her that I stay, not when I am so confused about who I am, and what I want for myself. If I am not clear about my path, how can I ever do justice to whatever is there between us?

It's why I need her to believe the worst of me… Fuck me, but I need her to forget that she ever met me. It is the only way I can leave, safe in the knowledge that I am not leaving her hanging in limbo.

No one knows that better than me. The days and nights when I had been taken and kept bound, not knowing if I was going to make it out of there alive… Not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. That was the worst. I’d never want her to go through that.

I shouldn’t have come here, but I did, and now I have to make sure that I complete what I started.

"That’s good, I suppose." I smother the voice inside calling me a liar.

"It is?" She frowns.

"Virginity is so overrated anyway."