Perfect Summer by Bethany Lopez
Faith
We entered Walkers, with its booths in tones of mustard yellow and browns, and barbed wire chandeliers. There was local art on the walls and what looked like stained-glass windows reaching up toward the ceiling.
The feel was lively, yet sophisticated, and the plates of sizzling food being walked past us made my mouth water.
We sat down, me on the booth side and Mitch across from me in a chair.
“This place looks great. Have you been here before?” I asked as I picked up my menu.
“Yeah, it’s actually my mom’s favorite to come to for Mother’s Day and her birthday, so I’ve been here a few times.”
“Welcome to Walkers, I’m Ann. Can I get you started with something to drink, maybe an appetizer?”
I looked down at the wine selection and said, “Can I have the Brooks Runaway Pinot Noir, please?”
“And I’d like the 41 Peaks IPA,” Mitch said, before looking at me and asking, “Did any of the apps catch your eye? The shishito peppers and the burrata are both delicious. Actually, you can’t go wrong with anything on the menu.”
I looked at the descriptions of the items he’d suggested and said, “The burrata sounds interesting.”
“We’ll take that as well,” he told Ann.
“I’ll get those right in for you,” she said and left us to make our dinner selection choices.
“Everything sounds so good,” I sighed as I read over the menu.
“They get everything locally, from the farms and ranches, so everything is fresh, and home grown, which I love.”
“That’s awesome. Have you ever tried Casey’s Korean Beef Bowl?” I asked him.
“I pretty much stick to the steak, but I’ve honestly never heard any complaints about the food,” he replied easily.
“I think I’ll try it then.”
Ann came back with our drinks and dropped fresh bread on the table, then took our orders and promised the burrata would be right out.
“So, what have you been up to since I left?” I asked, leaning forward to give him my undivided attention.
He chuckled and said, “Well, that’s a lot of ground to cover, but I can give you the highlights … I already mentioned my living situation over the years. As far as work, I started out helping out with odd jobs around town, which eventually led to me buying my own equipment and making a name for myself as a painter. The business just sort of grew organically, and I’ve even branched outside of Mason Creek, as far as Billings.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. I know you always wanted to work for yourself and I’m glad it happened. What about … relationships? Ever get close to getting married?” I asked.
I was so curious to know the answer, even if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure I wanted to hear it. The thought of Mitch with anyone else made my heart hurt.
“I dated off and on, but no, nothing serious. Certainly no one I even came close to proposing to.” He glanced at me, his expression thoughtful and asked, “What about you? I know you were married, obviously, but before you said you weren’t ready to talk about it…”
I looked around and said, “I wouldn’t really feel comfortable going into detail here, in a public setting, but I will later. For now, I’ll just say, I met Jed when I was getting adjusted to living in Chicago, taking meds, and starting therapy. I was a little lost and scared and he completely took advantage of that. My therapist would say he targeted me and then groomed me, and it worked. I was completely under his thumb and caught up in a vicious relationship. But once Hope started getting a little older, she was all I needed to wake up and see the cycle I was in and how dangerous it was, so we left. I got a restraining order and eventually a divorce. When he died, I found out his life insurance was in my name and he’d left everything he owned, which wasn’t much, to Hope. About a year after he died, I decided it was time to move home and raise Hope in a place where she could be safe and surrounded by family and friends. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.”
“So, he was violent … with you?” Mitch asked and I could tell he was trying to keep the scowl off his face and the anger out of his voice. Like he knew I didn’t need that kind of reaction when I was talking about something that made me feel so vulnerable.
I nodded.
“I’m sure that didn’t help with your panic attacks and anxiety,” he surmised.
“No, it was definitely a bad period in my life, because he expected perfection from me, but there was actually nothing I could do to please him. He just used my anxieties against me and actually seemed to get off on triggering the attacks.”
“Jesus, Faith,” Mitch said, clutching his fists on the table before lowering his hands to his lap. “And how about now? Since you’ve been back, are you still having them?”
“The medication and being home has helped. At first I was afraid it wouldn’t, that those old pressures would come back, but they haven’t. I did have an attack that night at Pony Up,” I admitted, not wanting to keep anything from him or lie to him anymore.
“Because of me?” he asked, looking pained.
I reached my hand out over the table and waited until he placed his over it.
“Not because of you, no. Because of the situation. When we touched and started to dance, all of these feelings and emotions came up reminding me of the past. Of our past. And I could tell by the look in your eyes that I’d hurt you, disappointed you, and it was like we were kids again and those feelings of not being perfect and the pressure I felt bubbled up to the surface.”
“I hate that. You know I’d never hurt you and I don’t need you to be perfect, Faith. I just need you to be you.”
“I know, Mitch. I do. I knew you’d never hurt me or manipulate me like Jed, and I no longer put that pressure on myself or expect perfection, it was just unexpected. And it wasn’t a bad one, I was able to get myself through it pretty quickly.”
“Is there anything I can do to make sure it doesn’t happen again?” he asked, and my heart lifted.
“Just keep being yourself, and maybe have a little patience with me.”
“I can do that.”