Perfect Summer by Bethany Lopez
Faith
I can’t breathe.
I hurried across the dance floor and to the back exit of Pony Up. When I reached the alley, I put my back against the wall and closed my eyes.
In…
Out…
I repeated this in my head and focused on taking deep breaths and slowly letting them out, using counts of four. Once I was steady, I thought about reading a book to Hope at night and focused on the sweet expression on her face.
After a few minutes of this, I felt the panic attack subside and opened my eyes.
I felt tears prick the sides of my eyes and worked on holding them back as I gave myself a mental pep talk.
It’s okay. It wasn’t a bad one and you were able to stop it. Dancing with Mitch had been unexpected and the regret and unanswered questions in his eyes pushed you over the edge, but you’re fine now.
I hated feeling like I didn’t have control over my own body and emotions, and the fact that my need to be perfect in Mitch’s eyes was apparently still prevalent.
When I felt more like myself and ready to face the crowd inside, I pushed off the wall, smoothed my clothes down, and took one more cleansing deep breath. Then, I opened the door and followed the strains of music back into the bar.
When I glanced around and didn’t see anyone watching the exit for my return, I felt a flood of relief that no one had noticed my rush for air.
I waved at Anna, one of my hairdressers, who was laughing with her friends, Justine, Laken, and Leni, shooting each of them a smile as I moved toward Liv, who was standing right down the bar from them.
“Hey,” Liv said with a grin when I stepped beside her. “Did you have to go to the bathroom to cool down? You and Mitch were practically shooting off fireworks on the dance floor.”
“Didn’t last long though,” Anna piped in, tilting her head as she asked, “Did something happen?”
I shrugged and said, “It was just strange, you know? Like no time had passed since the last time we danced. It felt exactly the same.” I glanced over to where Mitch was sitting with his friends and drinking beer, his eyes downcast. “I guess I thought with all the time that’s passed and everything I’ve been through, that it would have felt more like dancing with an old friend.”
“What did it feel like?” Liv asked, leaning in so nosy ears wouldn’t hear.
“Perfect,” I admitted, then shook my head and let out a small laugh. “It’s stupid … I know with everything that’s between us there can never be a me and Mitch again, but, damn, being in his arms felt really good. Safe. Sexy.”
“You deserve to feel safe, Faith, and no one in this town is a better man than Mitch,” Liv said, placing her hand on my shoulder.
“Lord knows he’s easy on the eyes,” Anna agreed, and we all automatically looked over at him.
He sure is handsome, I thought, before I realized what we were doing and said in a hushed whisper, “Stop staring. He’s going to see us.”
“I think we need shots,” Liv said once we’d all turned back toward the bar.
“Tequila,” Leni suggested.
I thought about Mitch’s hands on me and felt a tingle run down my spine.
“Tequila,” I seconded, then proceeded to try and drink Mitch from my mind.
A few hours later I was stumbling out the door as I tried to pull up the Uber app on my phone.
Ryder had taken Liv home, which I knew would piss her off once she woke up, and Anna had gotten a ride with her friends. They’d offered to drop me off, but I figured I’d rather be by myself in the backseat of an Uber than piled into a hatchback like sardines.
“Need a ride?”
His voice had the hair on the back of my neck standing at attention and a shiver running through me.
It was a bedroom voice, all deep and rumbly. It was one of the first things I’d noticed about him and one I’d grown to love. And when he’d whispered in my ear while we were making love, it had always fueled my passion.
I realized the direction my thoughts were going and shook them off as I turned to face him, my cheeks flaming as if he knew what I was thinking.
“Yeah, just ordering a ride,” I said, lifting my phone up to show him as proof.
“From who, Bob?” he asked, who was the only Uber driver I knew of in Mason Creek. “He’s probably asleep and it’ll take him at least ten minutes to get up and get down here. I can give you a ride.”
My eyes flew up to his face, but he looked sincere and not like he was messing with me or anything.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. We can’t seem to be around each other without one of us getting upset and running off,” I said.
“You must have been drinking tequila,” Mitch said, his lips quirking up in an annoyingly adorable way.
Tequila always did make my tongue loose.
I snorted and waved my phone at him as I replied. “Admit it … after all of this time apart, we don’t quite know how to speak with each other honestly and just air stuff out. You resent me leaving and I completely understand that, but I’d like us to be able to move past it and be normal around each other. How can we do that?”
“How about we start with one friend giving the other a ride home and saving her a few bucks?” he asked.
I closed my eyes and thought about it for a few seconds before I realized closing my eyes made me dizzy and I quickly opened them back up.
“Okay, but you gotta keep your hands on your side of the truck. I don’t think I can handle any more touching between us,” I said, giving a full-body shudder. “We’ve got too much chemistry.”
“Chemistry?” he teased, that stupid grin back on his handsome face.
“History. I said, history,” I lied.
Mitch chuckled and said, “Good to know.”
“Oh, just shut up and take me to your truck,” I said with a scowl.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I swear, if he would have had a cowboy hat on, he would have tipped it at me … so annoying!