Wolf Tamer by Avery Song
Protect From Evil And He's Mine
~CARTER~
"You're mine."
I stopped at the top step as my head lifted further to get a glimpse of the inside of the treehouse. My breath hitched as my heart, that was already racing, suddenly stilled along with my entire being.
There was a lot running through my mind at the moment, but nothing that would lead to this solution to an equation I'd certainly predicted at some point. I should have known this was going to happen - no, I expected it - and yet seeing it before my eyes hit me harder than I thought it would.
Seeing one of my packmates kiss the girl I loved.
There was so much that she was oblivious to, just like the rest of the pack I'd gathered along the way staying here. They didn't understand the role I played, why I was specifically here at Sacred Moon for Endangered Wolves or how each of them seemed to fit a puzzle piece in all of this.
They didn't know who Harper was to me...
My head began to pound instantly, while I had to fight not to react.
My wolf, on the other hand, wasn't tolerating my still silence as he took in the sight and began howling like a manic wolf, worsening my sudden headache further.
Breathe. I need to breathe.
How do you do that again? Inhale and exhale while you watch the boy that was two years younger and only accepted into your pack with your special permission sweep in and kiss the girl you'd known longer than anyone.
Longer than him, Dolly, Sam, O'Neil...everyone.
I bit my lip to stop myself from screaming, but if I didn't get out of here, things would get ugly - I'll lose control...and I can't afford to do that.
Even as my thoughts begged for me to move, I struggled to do exactly that as my Alpha senses heightened. I could feel the magnitude of Ian's emotions - enduring the waves of blissful happiness, acceptance, relief, and a hint of prideful success at making the ultimate move.
It felt like rubbing alcohol was being poured upon an open wound along my chest.
The burning sensation spread like wildfire, doing everything it could to try to ruin me at this moment while I watched Ian kiss Harper. It had to be a small moment of time, and yet it felt like it was ongoing.
Was time punishing me? Slowing the universe down just so I could experience this moment when it wasn't even mine to enjoy?
Moments like these reminded me of why I hated being an Alpha. The circumstances that forced me to tag along on this emotional rollercoaster train and experience all aspects of an event that left me on a dead end.
This was far more torturous to me than physical pain. Anything physical had an end, but emotional torture haunted you until you got what you wanted.
Until you got what you deserved.
The only palpitating question in my mind was when would I get what I deserved?
When will I get my Harper back?
Mismatched eyes came into my view, and I realized Muffin now stood before me, her tail moving from side to side. She was observing me with curiosity flickering in her eyes, but this kitten was far smarter than I gave her credit for.
And if I didn't get out of here, I'd be caught in this whirlwind of chaos.
I didn't remember how I got back down the ladder, but before I knew it, I was running into the depths of the forest as the sunset began to trickle through the horizon.
The shadows that grew thanks to the orange and purple hues in the sky only made running away easier, blending my very being within the darkness in hopes that what I'd seen could be nothing but a nightmare.
Mother Moon, wake me up. Please?
I ran as fast as I could, feeling the building sadness and anger begin to trickle upward. My wolf howled again and again, begging for my throat to respond to his cries and for the world to listen to the melody of my sorrow.
This agony was what I'd agreed to endure for the sake of protecting the girl destined for me, but at the peak of the moment like this, I regretted it.
I wished I never promised to go along with this. Wished my memories weren't scattered and that I could unlock that small folder of the past and retrieve the truth of my connection with everything.
This predicament was my choice, and yet if I’d known for a second that I wouldn't get to be by Harper's side as she adapted to this world, I would have rejected it, just like how I prayed to reject all this weight of responsibility on my strained shoulders.
Everyone had all these expectations of me.
I had to be this fierce leader, carrying the struggles of my pack while proving myself to the Alphas in other packs who wished to challenge me. I always had to be on top, could never lack, and what I struggled with the most was expressing my true emotions.
Maybe that was my ultimate downfall. If I had been a little kinder to Harper, maybe she'd have fallen in love with me first? She'd have chosen me over Ian. Chosen my wolf over Wolfie.
It's not fair. It's not fair. IT'S NOT FAIR!
Tears of frustration stung my eyes as I ran at my full speed. I was so fucking tired of this world of madness, and even more annoyed that it felt like I was a caged bird with no way out.
No chance of freedom. No possibility of a happy ever after.
Patience is supposed to be worth it, right? Then why did it feel like a constant uphill battle when it came to reaching that rewarding ending?
Where is the break? The moment of hope? When will I get to reveal the truth? How long do I have to continue playing this role that I never asked to have? When will I become the main character I was destined to be instead of a side character whose dreams are running thin and will fade away entirely?
"Carter?"
I wasn't expecting Damien's voice to filter through my mind, but I also didn't expect the sudden crash into my left side that sent me flying through the sky. I didn't have time to scream as my eyes centered on the wolf that had clearly tackled me and was now charging even faster to get the upper advantage of my current vulnerability.
To sink his teeth into my flesh and rip my fragile body to shreds.
What neither of us had anticipated was the fact that his move simply did a disservice while the chance of me surviving this suddenly plummeted as I took in the fast rows of trees below before watching the wolf that was after me skid to a dramatic stop to save his own life.
I'm falling!
My wolf was charging forward within my mind, ready to trigger our shift in three seconds, but I had to be faster. Magic rushed to my fingertips and spiked so quickly through my body, it felt like I was on fire.
In seconds, a whiplash of wind rushed around me like a cyclone while the calm weather shifted to a gloomy storm at the same time. By the time I was in my wolf form, thunder filled with booming rage pulsed through the sky before lightning bolts crashed all over the place.
I wasn't sure if this was Mother Moon's anger against my sudden enemy, but it was the diversion I needed as I made my rough crash landing. My landing was far harsher than I anticipated, and I knew the moment my limbs crashed into the trees and my body fell right to the floor that I’d broken a few things.
Hitting my head on the final crash just made things a whole lot worse, and my whimper hit the air as I fought to even stay conscious. My wolf body was rushing to my aid, attempting to heal the easier parts first so that my limbs could take me away from this danger, but the faster time ticked away, the harder it was for my consciousness to continue fighting the pain and negativity.
The thoughts from before suddenly doubled, and the heaviness of my regret only succeeded in clouding my desire to live. I was tired of being a leader - tired of being everyone's savior when no one would ever do the same for me.
Why is it okay for me to suffer alone yet everyone else has me to lean on when they're in pain? Who do I lean on, Mother Moon? I have no shoulder to rest my head on when I'm tired. I want to rest...no one would care.
The adults would only be mad because the only son of Moonshine would be dead. Their legacy, the blood of our ancestors, the one who would carry the name, wealth, and power of our generational struggles couldn't be wiped out of the world so easily.
They would be mad that I was such a weakling and died. I can't die...but...I'm so tired.
Even in my wolf form, my tears streamed down my furry cheeks effortlessly. My wolf was whimpering for us, but even the desperate cries of agony and pain began to fade away until there was nothing but silence.
I felt awake, but far away. What frightened me most in my immobile state was the footsteps coming my way. They weren't ones that would give off a rushing feeling. They were slow and calculating, which told me that my enemy was approaching to claim my body.
Approaching to take me away.
Maybe they would hold me for ransom? Or do anything really since I was an endangered wolf. Getting an Alpha wolf of my caliber at my age was like finding a four-leaf clover in our world. Add my magic capabilities and strong bloodline, and there was your golden ticket to power.
I didn't know where I'd fallen, and I wasn't sure if I was out in the open or in a bunch of bushes, but it felt like something was covering me.
Leaves? Dirt? What's happening? I'm scared. I don't want to die. I didn't say bye to Harper. I didn't tell her she's my mate...she's my everything.
There was more regret and internal misery as my consciousness struggled to stay afloat. Someone was calling me. Maybe multiple people were in my head somewhere, but I didn't have the energy to listen.
I barely had the energy to breathe.
Something kicked my cheek before patting my head, but it was the low sound of voices that caught my fading attention.
"Shit! Did he run away?"
"You're an idiot. Why did you fucking throw him off a cliff?"
"I didn't think my hit would throw him so far!"
"Well, he's fucking gone."
"No, let's do a search. He could be in these bushes."
"HISS!"
"AH!" the two individuals attempting to whisper screamed. "Fuck! Is that a cat or something?"
"Fuck! Maybe it's one of those rare, endangered cats! You know, the cat that they say is the most dangerous one in the wild or some shit on Discovery Channel?"
"You mean that black-footed cat they always talk about in videos and shit?!"
"Ya! Fuck, look at its eyes. They're different. Hell nah. I ain't dying from a damn cat. You know what a disgrace that would be to my fucking pride. My pack would humiliate me by not burying my body."
"We don't got time for this!"
"Fuck shit. You smell that?"
There was a moment of silence before deep inhales were followed with curses.
"Shit. That black monkey is coming!"
"Fuck. It's fine. We'll tell the boss we injured the Alpha of the pack so it'll be easier to get access to this place!"
"We can't say that, idiot! They're going to heighten the security now! Or better yet, they'll go away and abandon this place. Fuck. Let's move. Hurry. We'll get some reinforcement to come over here to try to find that boy."
"HISS!"
"AH! Get it!"
Racing footsteps moved further and further away until the silence descended around me.
"Meow?" There was a soft nudge to my head, followed by a soft pat. "Meow! Meow."
Muffin?
I wanted to respond as she continued to meow away, her sound getting louder in desperation for someone to hear her, but my mind was fading by the second until I couldn't fight it any longer.
I surrendered to the darkness.
~HARPER~
"Where'd Muffin go?"
I tried to think of something else other than the feeling of excitement bubbling through me.
Ian Chestwood kissed me. Ian wants us to date.
It felt like I was lying, my head light as ever as I kept replaying the same moment again in the time span it took us to calm down and clean up the treehouse. Now we were looking for Muffin and I had no clue where she was.
"Maybe she already left?" Ian offered. "Though, that's not like her."
"It really isn't," I admitted with a pout. "The only time she leaves us is when O'Neil or Carter are around."
"Hmm." Ian frowned as he seemed deep in thought. "O'Neil is inside so maybe Carter was around?"
"But if Carter was here, wouldn't he have said something?" I pondered while Reika and I thought about the possible chance of Carter being around. I didn't know why my stomach dropped like I was in trouble or something, but the possible chance of Carter coming to the treehouse when Ian kissed me made it feel like I'd done something bad.
We did nothing wrong...right?
"Nothing wrong,"Reika emphasized. "But...feel uneasy?"
The fact Reika was unsure herself only further worried me as I looked back at Ian to see him suddenly flinch.
"Ian?"
I walked over to him, but his wide eyes of silver weren't looking my way. It was like he was looking past me while his attention was further away. Various expressions filtered through his face before he jolted out of it and shook his head.
"Carter's in trouble!" His declaration freaked me out, the panic in his voice as obvious as the slight tremble in his body. He didn't even delay as he grabbed my hand and the two of us raced out of the treehouse and glided down the ladder.
We were running to the house, just as O'Neil came out with Levi.
"O'Neil!" Ian called out. "Carter's in trouble!"
O'Neil didn't delay as he ran forward, and I came to a stop as I watched his entire body shift. The sound of loud cracks reminded me of when I'd fallen off the cliff and broken some bones, only it was obvious that O'Neil was breaking his bones on purpose as his body changed mid-stride.
One minute, he was my beloved O'Neil, and the next, he was a massive wolf of black fur and fierce eyes that lost their bluish color to shift into a flaming gold. He honestly looked ginormous in comparison to the other wolves, but what caught my attention was how fast he was - his body suddenly moving in a blur until he blended into the shadows of the forest.
Levi reached where we stood, and I noticed at the corner of my eye that Damien, Hayden, and Heston were approaching. They were all out of breath as if they had run across the sacred grounds to reach us.
"Why was Carter in the forest?" Ian questioned in confusion.
"He wasn't," Levi answered. Even in this frightening situation, his voice carried some sort of calm. "O'Neil told him to come get you two from the treehouse."
Oh no.
"He...saw?"
Maybe...but...why does it bother him? Do you think it bothers him?
Reika didn't answer immediately, but whispered, "Maybe...likes us?"
Like as in like-like?!
"Not sure."
Ian didn't say anything, but Damien stepped forward as his eyes darted between us.
"Did something happen?"
"Um..." Ian struggled to continue, but I bit my lip before deciding to be honest.
"Ian and I kissed."
Damien, Hayden, Heston, and Levi just stared at us for a long ten seconds before Levi looked worried.
"He saw." He didn't say it like it was a guess. He was confident Carter saw what Reika and I were speculating, but I didn't understand why it was bad.
"Why is that bad?" I asked innocently while I tried not to fidget in place.
Neither Levi nor Damien said anything, but my eyes caught onto Hayden and Heston as they shared a look and glanced my way.
"Alphas are very territorial," they spoke in unison. "Carter's protective of you but it's also because he cares a lot. Like...a lot."
"Carter doesn't like-like Harper," Ian argued.
"You're an idiot," Damien groaned. I don't think he meant to insult Ian, but he seemed agitated with worry. "Carter really likes Harper."
"Well...how was I supposed to know?" Ian barked. "He's always angry!"
"Ian." Levi looked disappointed as he stared at Ian. "You don't realize just how much Carter goes through for all of us, do you? If you understood, you'd get why this is bad."
"Is it bad that Ian kissed me?" I felt lost because I didn't know what we did wrong. I was still trying to get over the idea that Carter liked me.
He doesn't show he likes me...but does he? Well...I do like him...but do I like him like how I like Ian? Do I have to choose who I like more?
"It's not necessarily bad, Harper," Damien reasoned. "It's just bad when you look at the pack dynamic."
"Dynamic?" I was trying to follow.
"Ian's at the bottom of the pack in terms of him joining," Hayden spoke up as Heston nodded and continued, "Even though he's technically Beta when Carter and Levi aren't around, in terms of who's been in the pack the longest, Carter is the leader and Ian is the new recruit still."
"But...it's been two years," Ian defended.
"It doesn't matter," Levi noted. "You basically made a claim on the girl Carter is interested in. It looks bad."
"But I didn't know!" Ian sounded frustrated, but I could tell his anger was simply upsetting Damien as he countered, "It's your job TO know, Ian! You're supposed to be a Beta, like Levi. Your duty is to make sure you're up with everything like Levi is."
"You guys don't include me in anything!" Ian fought back.
"We don't include you in anything because you're always playing with Harper while we're hiding because we can't tell Dolly or Sam that Harper knows about us!" Damien yelled back.
"That's...not my fault!"
"Nothing is ever your fault!" Damien mocked. "Yet you kissed Harper when Carter obviously likes her!"
"Well...it's not my fault Harper likes me more!"
"She only likes you more because you found her when it was Carter's patrol that night!"
"That's not true!" Ian snapped.
"I bet it is and you're just taking advantage! You're insulting our Alpha! It's thanks to Carter that you even get all this freedom!"
"Says who?!"
"Says the Elders!" Damien snapped. "You're so ungrateful! All the shit Carter deals with for you and you do-" His words suddenly stopped as all of them seemed to flinch. "Fuck. Carter!"
Damien was running before anyone else, and Hayden and Heston followed seconds after - the three of them shifting just the way O'Neil did.
"Dammit," Levi cursed and looked at Ian. "Shift and find Carter! If he gets seriously hurt, it's going to be bad."
Ian simply nodded and with a sad look my way, he ran after the others as he shifted into Wolfie.
That left me with Levi and there was that sinking feeling of hopelessness that began to flood my stomach. Levi reached out to give me a hug.
"I know you don't get it, and I really don't want to leave you, but we have to make sure Carter isn't seriously hurt or..." He pulled back and for the first time I could see the sadness in his eyes. "Or we'll have to go away for a while."
"Go away?" I was devasted at the idea.
Levi nodded slowly. "Carter has a lot of responsibility. The adults...treat him like he's already one of them. They only let him stay because he asked to remain here."
"Asked to remain?"
"Sacred Moon for Endangered Wolves was always made to be temporary. We weren't supposed to stay here. Wolves come and go because they filter us out into various packs, but thanks to Carter, we all get to stay together. Think of Carter as the North. He's supposed to be at the sanctuary up there. Damien and I would probably join him, but it's not guaranteed. Hayden and Heston would be separated to the East and West, and Ian...well...he's supposed to be in the South."
"But why?" They worked so well together. Why separate them?
"That's how it is, Harper." His eyes were pleading with me to understand the glimpse of information he'd given me. I was sure he wasn't allowed to, but he was due to the situation. "We're supposed to go to different schools, too, but thanks to Carter, we're not fully separated. He even tried to get Ian and you into the same school. He tried really hard, but because Ian's from the South, they said no."
"They won't let Ian be together with you guys?"
Levi shook his head. "There's a reason North and South don't get along, but I can't tell you, Harper. I've said too much already," he earnestly admitted. "You can't tell anyone."
"I won't, Levi," I promised. "We have to find Carter."
He bit his lip as he looked at me, and I knew without a spoken word that he didn't want me coming.
He didn't want me getting hurt.
"I like Carter, too, Levi," I quietly admitted as tears began to flood my eyes. "Kissing Ian...it happened, and I liked it. I like Ian...but I also care a lot about Carter too. I didn't know he liked me...I...well..." I was struggling to figure out how to explain what I was feeling. "I like them both...but I can't date both of them, can I?"
He didn't say anything, but he moved his hands from my shoulders to press them on my cheeks. "You're the key to all of this, Harper." His voice was barely a whisper. "You're in the middle and have the power to connect us all, but you can't let the adults see that."
"I can't?"
"It's confusing," he concluded. "We can't tell you until you can truly be one of us."
I knew he meant shift like the rest of them, which only made me feel more useless.
"But when we're older, it'll get easier," Levi quickly added and lifted my head up by my chin so I could see the determination in his eyes. "I hate feeling useless. Feeling helpless in situations that revolve around me. I get it....and I wish I could tell you everything, but I can't. To keep you safe. To stop them from trying to take Ian away. You just have to understand."
A howling sound echoed from afar, causing goosebumps to crawl up my arms.
"Enemy wolves," Levi whispered. "Harper, go inside! I have to help the others. I'm the next strongest." He gave me one more tight squeeze before he was sprinting into the forest. I didn't hear him shift until he was already racing through the thick trees, but I couldn't move as I stood in my exact spot.
Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control, and it was all over a kiss. I went from being happy to full of dread, and what I struggled with the most was accepting that I'd always be left in the dark.
Because to everyone else...I was just a human.
A weak human girl - an orphan who arrived here out of circumstance. I wanted to do something, to help Carter and tell him that I liked him too, but maybe it would sound forced?
A band-aid to the problem.
Running my hands through my brown locks, I looked around before biting my lip. I was scared to disobey, but I couldn't go into the house when Carter and the others were in danger. It made me feel like a coward, and I wasn't one.
I was a Wolf Tamer. I was supposed to protect my family. They loved me...I couldn't let them get hurt by evil wolves.
"Fight!"Reika agreed with me, and that was all I needed to hear to push me forward.
Running through the dark forest reminded me of that fateful night, my heart pumping while I breathed in and out rapidly. My arms moved swiftly as my legs raced to get me to Carter and the others faster.
I didn't know where I was supposed to go, but Reika was guiding me in her own way. I felt her presence overwhelming my senses, and it almost felt like she had control of my limbs while my mind was still alert to everything going on.
Our goal was the same: to find Carter.
We ran and ran, turning corners and attempting to find some sort of trail. It was difficult with all the various scents around us, not to mention the howls in the distance as well as other noises that frightened me.
I tuned them all out as I desperately hoped for some sort of sign to find Carter. It felt like it was my duty to find him - that this was all my fault and I had to be the one to fix it. I wished I weren't left in the dark about so many things, but no one else but the pack and O'Neil would tell me anything that I deserved to know.
Because I couldn't shift like the rest. How is that fair?
I had to be one of them. Reika was proof of that, but why wasn't that enough?
Will I ever be enough?
"Meow!"
I skidded to a stop, the sudden move sending me flying forward until I skidded along the dirt floor. "Ow."
I could feel the pain on my knees and arms from the fall, but my head was up and that was when I caught the slight whiff of it.
Pumpkin...
"Carter," I whispered and caught onto the familiar sound.
"Meow!"
"Muffin!" I shouted and ran in the direction of my kitten's cry. She kept going, the sound growing stronger and stronger while the scent of pumpkin filled my nostrils. It took three minutes of running at full speed to finally see my little kitten as she stood before a bunch of spiked bushes.
Her eyes lit up at my arrival before she jumped up and down and began to circle the piled bush. The scent of pumpkin was solid enough for me to dive right at the pile, clawing at it until I got a glimpse of Carter's face.
"Carter?"
My heart stopped while my hands went into overdrive to remove the remaining bushes that concealed Carter from sight. I ignored the pain in my trembling hands and the metallic scent that reminded me of the past.
The small scratches on my hands were nothing in comparison to the unique smell of blood coming from Carter. The moment he was out from his buried protection, I shook him and tried to wake him up.
"Carter? Carter?" I lay down on the ground next to him, desperate to catch the sound of him breathing. It took an added second because of the pounding sound of my own blood pumping through my veins, but I caught onto his weak inhales and exhales.
I should have felt relieved, but when I looked down at his body and then scanned around us, I noticed the cliff further ahead and realized he'd fallen from the cliff.
Wait...
The familiarity of our surroundings only reminded me of that fateful night and fear crept through me, the frightening worries of death's approach. This had to be the same place that I'd found myself six years ago on the verge of disappearing forever.
How did we get this far? Why did Carter run all the way to this place? Did he even know?
The sound of a click caught my attention as it did Reika's. The two of us froze in our spot as a single footstep broke a branch nearby.
Someone's here!
Muffin moved to stand in front of our lying bodies, and I knew from the way her hair began to rise up that someone bad was approaching.
"Who would have thought I'd be able to capture the prince and his lost princess."
I had no choice but to lift my head and look forward. A man cloaked in black approached us with cautious steps and an obvious gun in his hand.
A gun directed at us.
I noticed a glimpse of moonlight that shone through the cloudy sky as I suddenly realized it was on the verge of raining. Thunder boomed through the sky as bolts of lightning illuminated the dark shadows of this very spot.
I couldn't tell who this man was, but he was scary. His eyes were red, and he carried a smile upon his lips like he'd won something. The rest of his body was cloaked in black, reminding me of the men who'd tried to kill me years ago.
"It's been hard to get you out into these parts with you all protected, royal wolf," he whispered with a gleeful grin that made his eyes look scarier as he approached. "But now you've been found and you're going to have to pay for existing."
"HISS!" Muffin prepared to jump at the man, and I gasped and jumped to grab her.
A sound that had haunted me in my nightmares hit the air, and my entire body was tensed in wait of the agonizing pain from the past.
"Troublesome boy," the man snarled, forcing me to open my eyes to see Muffin and I were surrounded by a golden light. My eyes immediately peered forward, widening as I took in Carter's back.
"Carter!" My scream was loud as I noticed the obvious wound in his arm that began to drip blood. The oozing dark liquid made me shiver at the mere sight of it.
"I suggest you play nice, boy," the man demanded with his threatening voice. "I won't miss the second time."
"There won't be a second time," Carter weakly stated. "You hurt my mate, and you'll face the consequences."
Mate?
"Well, you can't do a thing when you're filled with bullets. Let's see if your wolf abilities can save you from this."
I knew from the glint in this man's eyes that he was going to pull the trigger again. I couldn't allow it, so I ran forward and crashed into Carter like I was hugging him. I felt Muffin jump out of my grasp before the onslaught of loud sounds hit the air, but all I could focus on was protecting Carter even if it meant I got hurt.
Something warm ignited behind the back of my hand, but nothing prepared my ears for the screams of pain that came from the very culprit of the bullets.
By the time I opened my eyes and acknowledged the fact that Carter and I still stood, the agonizing sounds were nothing but gurgles. Peering to the side to get a view aside from Carter's back, my eyes took in the massive white wolf that took my breath away.
She reminded me of Reika, but she was far bigger and elegant looking for a wolf. Right away, I knew she was female, but her size and beauty were jaw-dropping to see up close. Even with drops of blood falling from her large, sharp teeth, I could feel the protective energy oozing off of her.
Her eyes of wisdom landed on us, and I realized the golden barrier that was once around only me and Muffin was now shifting to various colors of the rainbow, like a prism. Most importantly, it had expanded to protect Carter as well while the multiple bullets that should have assaulted our bodies remained stuck in the protective rainbow wall.
My acknowledgment made the barrier begin to crack until it shattered entirely, which made the bullets fall to the ground. The man fell back as the last specks of life faded from his eyes, which rolled back.
The moment he dropped to the ground, I heard howling in the distance, but nothing could take my attention away from the wolf before us as she examined our beings. My body trembled, not out of fear, but with what felt like exhaustion, and maybe that was what made me notice the way my body was glowing.
The same energy that now rained down upon us like rainbow glitter oozed off of me like I was a lit match with flames that rose higher and higher in burning dismay. Only, for the first time in a long time, I felt powerful, even though I felt like I'd accomplished nothing.
Carter looked over his shoulder, his weak eyes acknowledging my glowing being just like how I noticed a crown over his head. It was magnificently gold and glimmered with an energy I couldn't really describe.
All I knew was my attention was specifically on it as I reached out with my trembling hand as if I could touch the glowing object with a slight tap. Carter's hand stopped me just when I was going to touch it, and though his grip around my wrist was gentle, I pouted at his need to prevent me from touching the glowing symbol of royalty.
My eyes diverted to meet his, and for a split second, it didn't feel like we'd been in a life-or-death situation.
Instead, it was as if we were younger, the two of us wearing crowns and gallant attire in a forest full of pink flowers surrounded by protective stones.
"Our secret place." The words left me before I could stop them and sparked a glimmer of hope in Carter's eyes of dancing gold. It felt weird to see both orbs in one solid color, but maybe that was the least of our problems.
It was probably at the bottom of our worries.
What I didn't expect was to see those orbs grow glassy with emotion before he tugged me lightly so I'd lean in closer.
Close enough for his lips to lightly touch mine.
Unlike my kiss with Ian, this brief touch of his rough lips lit my body up like I was on fire, but there wasn't a hint of pain.
My entire being felt like it was flooded with happiness, a level of that joyous emotion I didn't think existed since the days when my family was alive.
The kiss finished just as fast as it started, and I was left to stare into his eyes as they softened. A single tear rolled down his cheek just from watching me, but it was the sad smile that graced his lips that broke my heart.
"It's too early...Harper," he whispered, and his eyes grew heavy as he muttered, "You can't remember...yet...or else I won't...be old enough...to protect..." He trailed off as his eyes closed, and I tried to hold onto his weight as he collapsed into my hold.
His weight was unexpected, and it left us collapsing onto the ground.
"Carter? Carter?!"
His head was resting on my shoulder and I knew he was still breathing, but those inhales were far slower than they had been previously, and I feared he'd die on me.
He can't die.
I looked over to the wolf that remained, watching as she stared at me in wonder. My eyes were already overflowing with tears while I hugged Carter tightly as if he'd fade into little sparkles and leave me all alone in this forsaken space.
"Please," I practically begged as sobs threatened to escape. "I can't lose Carter."
The wolf continued to observe me as my lip trembled and sobs left me.
"He's the Alpha of the pack...and he makes sure to take care of everyone, even though...I feel he doesn't take care of himself," I began as if this wolf could change what may happen if I didn't get Carter help. "We fight a lot, even when he's in his human form, which rare because it's a secret and no one else can know that I know his human side like the others in the pack...because I can't shift like them. Even though I want to...and want to help, I can't."
My sobs were harder as I cried about my current circumstances. I wanted to desperately help Carter and yet he was in my arms and there was nothing I could do. He protected me from danger, from the evil man who wanted to fill me with bullets, just like those past men who got rid of my family.
I couldn't dare lose Carter to the same fate. I may have just found out about his feelings for me, but it didn't mean I had nothing in return. I just needed to sort things out. To have that opportunity for everything to settle in once I knew all those I cared about were safe and sound.
But even when everything is well again, will I be able to choose between Ian and Carter?
"This is my fault," I whimpered as I sniffed to stop the snot from leaving my nostrils. "Ian...kissed me and Carter saw. Carter likes me and I didn't know. He ran out here and got hurt, and then he protected me from the evil man and the bullets that killed my last family."
My rambles made no sense, but the wolf pitied me as she began to approach, step by step, as I cried harder and let the words out.
"I wanna help Carter. I...I care about him, but it's not fair. I'm not special like them. Reika's stuck inside me, which makes me human, but I know I'm a wolf. O'Neil says I have magic, but I don't have anyone who can help me use it. I wanna be helpful. I wanna protect those I love so I never lose my family again. Please don't let me lose Carter. Please...I beg you."
The wolf was before me and Carter, and a glowing light emitted from her body until it was like a figure stood before me. It was hard to see any of her features, but her hair levitated in the air and a crown sat upon her glowing silhouette.
It looked as if she carried a cape on her shoulders, one with fur that glowed with hues of turquoise, just like her strands of hair. To my eyes, it was like witnessing an angel, and the waves of warmth that hit me began to calm my anxiety and fear for the worst.
She crouched down before me without a word, taking in my flushed, wet cheeks and trembling lips. As a tear escaped my eyes, her hand reached out to stop its descent and I couldn't help closing my eyes because the touch was so warm and loving.
It reminded me of how much I missed my mom in times of peril.
My body began to calm as my sobs and whimpers came to a stop. I struggled to open my eyes, but I could only get them open halfway as the warm touch to my cheek moved down until she held the pendant of my necklace.
I watched as it began to boost its own illuminating force, and that tingling heat I'd felt when Carter kissed me fled outward until we were surrounded in a prism bubble. My body was vibrating with energy again as my brunette locks floated upward, like the woman before me.
For a brief second, I caught a glimpse of her lips - the soft surface coated with pink gloss lifting up as if this being were proud of me.
Her gaze lowered and I followed her lead, noticing that Carter's left arm that had been shot was now healed. In fact, his once pale complexion and weak persona seemed to have faded away and he looked as if he were just sleeping.
"He's...okay," I whispered in disbelief, but my eyes weren't deceiving me. He truly was better. Reika felt like he was, and I had to believe her because I could see it with my own two eyes.
The tender touch to the top of my head encouraged me to lift my head, which suddenly felt far too heavy, all while my eyes struggled to see straight as my vision went to double.
I tried to catch a clearer glimpse of this being - to thank her for helping me - but my thoughts couldn't make it into words as my brain felt like it was falling into a sinking fog.
The strokes to my head didn't stop, even as I began to lose the battle of staying awake. I tried to fight it the best I could in hopes of keeping Carter safe from harm's way until help came, but it was a losing game. It was only a matter of time before I'd be forced to admit defeat.
"It's alright."
A tender voice of tranquility pulsed through my head, and suddenly, I was filled with immense peace. I wondered who this wolf was. Could she be Mother Moon?
A part of me wondered if it really was her, if she came down to a physical form just to protect her children from death.
"Mommy?" The word left me as my eyes finally gave in to the tempting need to close. I slumped over with Carter, but the ground didn't hit me as fast as it should have. It felt like I'd fallen into a cushion of warmth, one that took away all the pain, worries, and troubles of the world around us and replaced them with calming peace.
Cracking bones caught my attention, and it felt like I was now hugging a wolf. Carter had shifted to his wolf form, the pumpkin scent engulfing me just like the warm light that shone on the back of my eyelids.
When I felt the ground, it was still warm in comparison to the time I'd struggled for breath. My body was drained, the exhaustion of the events finally taking its toll, but it felt as if I'd spent a long day training the wolves and allowed myself to rest.
For the first time in the shadows of the wilderness, I felt safe, but the voice whispered gently in my mind.
"You're safe, Sweetheart. Just rest. Things will get better...and one day...you'll find the truth about it all. Be patient, Sweet Child. Your time is coming."
"Harper?!"
"Carter?!"
People were calling out our names, but my mind was drifting further away. It felt like I was dreaming, and now I ran in a white dress that shifted into various colors. My hands were spread out as I laughed and squealed, my brown shoulder-length locks fluttering in the wind behind me as I felt absolutely free.
Spinning around, I saw my fellow wolves - my sacred pack of wolves. With one spin, they were in their wolf forms racing towards me, and the next moment they were in their human counterparts in different silk shirts.
In human form, they laughed, and in wolf form, they howled, and it didn't matter that we went back and forth because, in this field of pink flowers, all that mattered was that we were together and happy.
I felt my hand being grasped from one side, and I turned to see Ian, who wore a big smile on his face. I giggled and felt the grasp from the other side and looked to see Carter, who smiled with confidence.
My hands tightened around them as we spun around and enjoyed the warmth of the moonlight above, as our packmates circled us in glee.
There was no right or wrong in this land and I didn't feel pressured to choose.
In this world, I was surrounded by what was mine, and I vowed to never let go.