Broken Saint by E.M. Gayle

3

Nova

Now

Iwaited for a sign, but I knew it wouldn't come. There was nothing normal about this relationship. If I could even call it that. We had sex. In the dark in the middle of the night. Almost every night since we'd met downstairs in the bar.

We didn't talk much, unless you counted the filthy words he uttered that made me come harder than I ever had in my life. Or the pleas that fell from my mouth when I hovered near orgasm and needed just a tiny bit more to get me there, and he wanted me to wait just a little longer.

And still I waited. Night after night for him to arrive.

The deadly precision with which he entered my suite without my notice never failed to impress me. I knew a little something about getting into places I was locked out of, and yet, he never gave away his secrets.

However, my instincts were screaming that his arrival was imminent. Not because he kept to a schedule, but because something in the air around me changed whenever he got close. My breath quickened, as did my heartbeat. Even the heat, which could often be unbearable in Vegas, enveloped me in a silky, sensual haze.

My gaze roamed the city below my terrace, unseeing anything beyond a blur of lights and color. For weeks, I have waited breathlessly for this moment, knowing that eventually it would have to come to an end.

But not tonight.

Tonight, I would welcome him to my bed and take everything he had to give.

"You're never on the bed like I request."

The deep, disembodied voice came from the dark behind me, making a shiver shudder along my spine. The heat that had gathered inside me from anticipation intensified. The longing for his touch created an ache in my breasts and between my legs I feared could never be squelched by another man.

"I never know when to be ready. It's not like we have an appointment."

My words were not bitter or resentful, just honest. What I didn't say is that it was impossible for me to sit still knowing he could arrive at any moment. Coming out here and looking out over the city that beat with a pulse like a living thing was one of the rare constants in my life. It had become a necessary ritual to calm me before any impending storm.

He was the fiercest one of all.

He said nothing else, and until I felt the warmth of his hand at my back, I wasn't sure he was still there. Words, however, were never necessary. The movement of his touch along my skin and the sensation of his lips at my shoulder were all the language I needed.

My life had become a whirlwind of obligation, work, and intense scrutiny. But it was these private nights between us that somehow made it all work together. The combination of danger, excitement, and release filled a well of need that enabled me to perform at peak perfection.

Now, I ached for more.

"Excuses," he muttered as his mouth latched onto my neck, forcing me to tilt my head sideways to give him better access.

I tried to think of some comeback that would make sense in the situation, but it was too hard to think with his hands and his mouth on my body. This man had a knack for bringing out a primal instinct in me that I seemed to have no control over.

I needed to give him everything, and I wanted to accept whatever he had to offer...

"I love this," I finally admitted.

He grunted his approval. "I can feel the war that you wage inside, your need to submit to my demands while your mind resists that urge at every turn. That's why you don't wait on the bed." He turned me in his arms and grasped my chin between his fingers. "But your body betrays you every time. That heat pulsing between your legs tells me more than your words ever could. There's no denial strong enough that would make me believe you don't want this."

I would never deny him.

Although those words would never fall from my lips. They couldn't. The one promise we had made to each other was the only one I could never break.

No strings. No commitment. Ever.

I had to keep reminding myself of that.

This time with him.

My time in this life.

It all had an expiration date, and it was coming sooner than I thought possible. Five years had sounded like an eternity when I was eighteen, but in reality, it had flown by.

So, I reminded myself again to keep my thoughts to myself. Because otherwise my confession would be far worse. I didn't just want him anymore.

I needed him.

And because of that, I would lie.

Even if it was a lie of omission.

When I didn't respond right away, I felt the subtle shift in his posture. The straightening of his body, the tightening of muscles. Without warning, he shoved my dress up over my hips.

I gasped as his fingers rubbed between my legs. Despite the panties that separated his skin from mine, he scorched me with a trail of heat at the subtle friction he created. My hips bucked, already desperate for more.

"Do you enjoy defying my requests?" He grabbed the edge of my panties and pulled, forcing the fabric tight between my lower lips.

"No, I—"

"That's fine. Here is as good a place as any to show you how that makes me feel."

The slight edge of panic filtered into my mind at what he was suggesting, but the beginning sparks of pleasure wiped away any fear or hesitation as he pulled harder on my now damp panties. The friction against my clit was both painful and so much more.

He reached between us, unzipped his pants, and pulled the heavy length of his cock out. I didn't know how to react. Part of me wanted to turn and drop to my knees and take him into my mouth so I could suck on him until he came, while the other part of me prayed he would bend me over and fuck me right where we stood.

"Good girls do as they're told. Don't they?"

I nodded my head, the frantic feeling inside me rising as sharply as my pending orgasm. I might have questioned how quickly he got me like this, but I wasn't that naive. He exuded power that called to the woman inside of me.

"But you aren't a good girl anymore, are you little one?" He pressed his dick hard against my panties, and if not for that thin strip of silk preventing him entry, he would have split me in half in one solid thrust. The emptiness, instead, made my legs tremble and sweat break out across my skin.

I needed him inside me so bad.

"Please, Sir."

His finger returned to my chin as he fed his thumb through my lips. "Oh, I know what you want, dirty girl. I just haven't decided if you've earned it yet or not."

By some miracle, I kept the needy beg from my lips, but make no mistake, it was in my eyes, and I know he saw it. He seemed to see everything when it came to me. At least the important parts.

"I could fuck you right here. Would you like that?"

I frantically nodded, touching my tongue to his thumb.

His eyes widened and his hips bucked against me. For better or worse I knew I had him. He was powerful, but that did not make me powerless. Quite the opposite.

He could make all the demands he wanted, but it was always my choice whether to obey.

A second later, he dropped his hands, leaving me to cry out in my displeasure. I needed him to keep touching me. Especially when I was this close.

"Sir?" I asked.

"All right. Prove it, then. If you want that orgasm you’re chasing, then remove that dress where you stand, bend over, and grab the railing in front of you. Only then will I give you what you want."

I glanced around at the many nearby hotels that were as high as The Sinclair or higher. The streets below us were filled with people, as were the buildings that surrounded us. Anyone would be able to watch. It was dark and shadowy, but it didn't make us invisible.

"It's your choice, dirty girl. I'll give you what you want, and more, but only when you follow my rules. Since you have continued to break them, this is your punishment and your pleasure. Take it or leave it."

My stomach flipped and twirled. Neither punishment nor public sex should have me this excited, but this man did things to me I didn't know how to explain. And nothing he ever did seemed like enough. I always wanted more.

I slowly reached for the hem of my short dress, which he'd already half removed, and lifted it over my head. He grabbed it from me and tossed it on the chair. Thank God I'd changed. If he'd just thrown one of my originals as carelessly as that off-the-rack dress, I might have died.

"Now bend over and get into position."

My body shuddered at the guttural tone of his command. I didn't know if he was surprised I'd done it, or if he just needed this as much as I did. Either way, that need in his voice only heightened everything else.

As slowly as I'd removed the dress, I leaned forward and looked out over the city that still glowed in every color of the rainbow despite the late hour. If I'd thought about it, I might have realized then that we were actually cloaked in near total darkness. If anyone were to look, they probably wouldn't see much more than shadows without a high-powered zoom lens or binoculars, and how many people staying in a resort kept those handy?

Only those weren't the thoughts running through my head at all. I was standing on a balcony, in nothing more than a black lace bra and matching thong. The dry, warm heat of the Nevada air swept across my skin on a barely-there breeze, making my already tight nipples stiffen more.

Seconds or maybe minutes ticked by. I couldn't be sure because I could barely keep track of my breathing let alone the time. Whatever was going through his mind was keeping him away from me, and I didn't like the feeling. Is this what he meant when he referred to punishment? Because it certainly felt like it.

I hated waiting.

I started to turn, and I felt his hand at the base of my neck. It curled into a fist and held me still by the hair.

"Don't move." He had leaned close and whispered into my ear. The resulting shiver that went up and down my spine made it difficult not to move. I started to protest but stopped because he pressed his lips to my shoulder, and well, any time his lips connected with my skin I pretty much lost my mind.

The man had a beautiful mouth, and he knew how to use it. Not to mention his hands and other body parts. In fact, I was pretty sure he'd already gone and ruined me for any other man. I didn't have a lot to compare to, but I didn't need to. Women talked and there was no way all men were this good.

The combination of his soft lips and the short beard he kept cropped against his skin blazed a torturous trail to just below my ear.

I bit my lip to stop from crying out.

My ability to keep quiet quickly disappeared as he traveled down my spine with a trail of kisses and sinful swipes of his tongue that left me squirming for more.

"I love your body," he whispered against my back. "And the way you respond to me is a dream."

Did he realize this no longer felt like a punishment? It may have never been.

"Yes," I cried, barely able to breathe.

His fingers curled into the band of my panties, and he slowly peeled them down my legs, but instead of having me step out of them, he used them to bind my legs together.

"Don't move," he ordered, his voice gruffer than before.

I had no plans to go anywhere. This ride with him had been wild, and before it ended, I wanted as much as I could get.

That brief thought hit me hard enough to momentarily knock my breath out. The punch of loss was going to hurt more than I could comprehend.

Fortunately, his hands grabbed my hips and pulled me back into the present where I belonged.

"You are so fucking beautiful." His fingers dug deep into my flesh, and I knew tomorrow's bruises would be well worth it. "And every time you obey me, I want to make you come harder than you ever have before."

Oh God yes.

I squeezed my eyes shut, allowing my other senses to take control. The hard grasp of his big fingers that weren't callused but weren't smooth either, his rough skin, rubbing against mine, and the heated friction that caused each and every time. The sound of his breath sawing in and out of his lungs.

I imagined him watching his big cock slide between my legs with each slow thrust or jerk of his hips.

My pussy quivered from both his repeated strokes against my bared clitoris and the images I'd conjured in my mind of what it looked like. I couldn't take much more. As much as I ached for him to fill me, that lack of contact wouldn't stop the oncoming orgasm.

"You're going to make me come," I gasped as he once again struck my clit with another stab of force.

"Of course you are. So many times you are going to beg me to stop."

I wasn't sure that was possible, but I was willing to see what happened. I wanted to come, and I wanted him to watch it happen.

When he pulled back, I couldn't stop thinking about him pushing that cock of his inside me. I needed it more than anything. But that's not what happened.

Just as I thought I was going to die from the anticipation, his finger slid through my wet folds, a moment before I felt him press against my asshole instead.

"Oh God." I barely got the words out before he breached that opening with one of his fingers.

"Let me in." That gruff demand made me tense momentarily.

I'd never...

Fuck. His slick finger rubbed back and forth against me and I learned just how nerve-rich that area could be. By the time he breached me with the tip of his finger, I was going insane with need. I raised on my tiptoes, pushed back, and moaned with a mixture of pleasure and sweet burning agony.

I tried to rear up, but he used his free hand to keep me pinned down against the railing.

"No, babe. Don't move," he growled.

That dark edge to his voice I really liked. It was the first sign I got that he was about to lose control. And I really liked it when he lost control. I always reaped the benefits.

Like now, with his finger slowly sliding in and out of my ass. What little clarity I thought I possessed slid right out of my head as he worked me to the brink of orgasm again.

"Wait. Stop," I cried. The overwhelming sensations were crawling up and across my sizzling skin. I wasn't going to be able to hold them off much longer. I was going to explode, and it was going to be a big one.

His hand stilled, and he leaned over me, his face close to mine. "What's wrong?" The real concern in his voice caused another jolt in my stomach and didn't ease the tension coiling deep in my core.

"You're going to make me come, and you're not with me," I whined.

I glanced at his face in time to see his eyes darken as they drifted over me. He was shaking his head, but I couldn't see past the sheen of his lips and where I hoped he was going to put said lips next.

"That's the point," he crooned, his voice deep and gravelly. "I make you come so many times that you never think twice about obeying me again. It's science and basic primal need."

I shook my head, barely breathing because he'd moved his finger inside me again and all the coiled tension returned in the space of a heartbeat.

Only this time, he stayed close and the scratch of his clothing against my flushed skin added another layer of sensation I could barely process. And if that wasn't enough to make me explode, he used his free hand to reach beneath me and pluck at my nipples through the flimsy lace bra I still wore.

My breath hitched, as every detail flew through my mind and converged in a way I couldn't resist. The balcony, the outdoor space where someone watching us wasn't out of the question, his fingers...

Oh God.

"Please, Sir." How I still had the presence to be so formal eluded me, except I still didn't know his name, adding yet another layer of mystery, frustration and sensation to my already overloaded system.

One more flick of his finger, and the explosion detonated, sweeping up and over me in a way I could barely comprehend. Light and color flooded my mind. Pinpricks of sharp sensation erupted across my skin. I tried to hold on, I really did, but it was too much.

My hand slipped from the railing as my knees began to give out. The complete, overwhelming sense of pleasure made it impossible to understand what happened next. Because one minute, my body pulsed in every direction, and the next, I was in his arms being carried back into my suite.

Details and sensible thoughts gave completely away to the pulsing throbs between my legs, in my head, in my chest... My vision narrowed until I only saw him. His brilliant blue eyes, staring into mine as he spoke something I couldn't comprehend.

As the initial explosion faded, the immediate aftershocks shook everything inside me. I had nothing. No control. No clear thoughts. Only blackness and small points of light around the edges of my vision.

Except his beautiful, rough, perfectly hard face. And that look in his eyes that gave me that one thing I always sought more than anything else.

Safety.