Nanny for the Army Rangers by Krista Wolf
Thirty-Three
DELILAH
It was pretty damn cold for a walk on the beach, but somehow Stephen made it semi-cozy. The coat he’d draped over my shoulders was heavy, and still warm with his body heat. With my own coat beneath it, it almost made up for the fact that my legs were freezing.
“And I’m telling you,” I laughed, as we walked the high tide line side by side. “Mikey from the old Life cereal commercials didn’t die from eating Pop Rocks and drinking soda. That’s just an urban legend.”
“I heard he did though,” Stephen shook his head. “His stomach exploded. This is well-known, according to multiple sources.”
“Reliable sources?” I smiled.
“My older brother William for one,” he shrugged, squeezing my fingers against his own. We’d been holding hands for a good quarter mile now. It felt nice. “Our next-door neighbor’s sister, too.”
Thinking back, my date laughed. “Okay, maybe Billy’s not that solid of a source after all,” Stephen admitted. “But still…”
As far as dates went, this one was definitely up there. Dinner was delicious, and the restaurant had a great mix of good food and ambiance without being too fancy. We’d gone for drinks afterward at a nearby bar, where I’d learned a lot about Stephen. And now, a cocktail or two later, we were walking the dunes of Jones Beach.
Hmmm.
The man who took me out tonight seemed very different than the previous week. He was more relaxed, more confident. A lot more talkative too, and funnier, even.
It was like he’d taken off the training wheels, for lack of a better phrase.
Maybe he’s growing on me,I thought to myself.
Yeah. Maybe.
Or maybe, like Patrice said, he just had first-date jitters.
I wondered where we were going, or how far we were going to walk. It was too cold and windy for a picnic. And with the clouds obscuring most of the moonlight, it wasn’t particularly romantic. Then again, did I want it to be romantic? Honestly I wasn’t sure. I’d tried focusing on my feelings for this guy, but the fact was I couldn’t feel anything.
And that’s probably because I couldn’t stop thinking about the guys.
Stop it.
Over and over I kept shoving them from my mind. Over and over thoughts of them kept creeping back.
This isn’t fair. Not just to Stephen, but to you as well.
As much as I wanted to focus on my date, it was impossible to forget falling into Duncan’s arms after midnight and giving in to overwhelming temptation. Or the crazy evening I’d spent pinned between Liam and Julius’s hard, surging bodies, reveling in the wicked, wanton freedom of being so gloriously, thoroughly shared.
I glanced over at Stephen, who was smiling happily. He looked good. Handsome. Reliable and respectful and—
Crap.
No matter how much I pumped him up in my mind, I felt nothing. Emotionally. Physically…
I took his hand and placed it around my waist, hoping for something to change. I even slid it a little lower, so his palm was halfway on my ass, before letting go.
Annnnd… nothing.
I snuggled closer into the crook of his arm. It was the perfect opportunity for his hand to wander even further down my ass, but Stephen wasn’t seizing upon it.
“Are you still cold?” he asked awkwardly. His expression was somewhat nervous now. “Did you want to go back? We could sit in the car for a while. I could blast the heat.”
Do I tell him I can’t feel my legs? Or that the spare flip-flops I took from my car — because high heels at the beach really aren’t a thing — were making my toes numb?
“Maybe,” I shrugged.
“Okay, let’s do that.”
We stopped walking, and for a split second we faced each other. The waves were crashing. The wind was blowing my hair back, leaving my face exposed. It was the perfect opportunity for a first kiss. A softball lob. A total change-up…
Even now, Stephen did absolutely nothing.
What the hell?
I put him out of his misery by making the first move. Seizing control, I brought both his hands to my waist and planted a soft kiss right on his lips. Stephen kissed me back, half in surprise, half in delight. His hands squeezed gently. Our bodies leaned in…
Still, it wasn’t Liam, or Duncan, or Julius.
It was absolutely nothing.
My shoulders slumped as we broke apart, and my hands fell to my sides. It was disappointing. After two full dates there ought to be at least some chemistry, but there were zero sparks between us. Stephen was looking back at me sullenly, like he knew it too.
“I… I was thinking—”
BZZZZT.
My phone going off was a welcome distraction from a very awkward moment. I normally would’ve ignored it, but in this particular case—
COME HOME.
They were just two simple words from Duncan, on the group chat I shared with the guys. No explanation. Nothing else.
But I was never happier to see them.
WE’VE BEEN IDIOTS. WE NEED TO TELL YOU.
The second message was from Julius, and it sent a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. Most of them were hopeful.
REALLY BIG IDIOTS, the message from Liam read. PLEASE COME.
“Umm… Stephen?”
My date was standing there in the wind, silhouetted against the ocean. He smiled back at me weakly.
“You have to go, don’t you?”
I tried to swallow but all of a sudden my mouth was bone dry. Slowly I nodded.
“I understand,” he said, shuffling his feet. “Come on,” he extended his hand. “Let’s get you home.”
Home.
The word hadn’t held much meaning until just now, when the guys had used it. They didn’t mean their home, or Jace’s, or Courtney’s. They meant our home. All of us.
I knew it with every last piece of my heart.