Nanny for the Army Rangers by Krista Wolf

 

Forty

 

 

JULIUS

“The details don’t really matter, although there were a lot of details at the time. The whole mission was complicated. Too complicated.” I lowered my gaze, remembering. “That’s why things went sideways so quickly.”

The memory was almost as fresh as it was the day it happened. I could see the brilliant blue sky. The thin white clouds streaked so high they seemed impossible to reach. I could even taste the smoke lingering in the air, from a nearby village that had burned two nights ago. That should’ve been our first warning.

None of it made any sense, because I’d tried so hard to forget it.

“Afghanistan,” I said mechanically. “2017. We were in Paktia province, retrieving a high-value target with low-value manpower.” I shook my head. “And not because the manpower wasn’t good, either. It was goddamn elite. It just wasn’t considered valuable to the handful of assholes privileged enough to even know about the mission in the first place.”

I glanced over at the twins warily, suddenly aware of my bad language. I’d have to watch my mouth. Luckily they were so busy spooning food all over their faces they hardly noticed me.

“So you were expendable,” Delilah guessed correctly. “That’s what you’re saying.”

Man, I thought to myself. She’s even better than we could’ve imagined.

“Yes,” I nodded, making sure she knew I was impressed. “It was one of those missions we liked to call ‘come back with the ball, or don’t come back at all’.”

“Fun,” she said grimly.

“Totally.”

It was a tribute to her that she could make light of such a heavy topic, yet still be fully attentive to what I was saying. I tried to ignore the wild mess being made over her shoulder while somehow continuing. It wasn’t easy.

“The entire mountain range was chaos,” I said bitterly. “The whole province had been in a state of perpetual civil war since the Taliban were tossed out, back in the early 90’s. As a result we had very limited intelligence. Even more limited resources.”

Delilah was listening intently. In the meantime, Courtney and Jace were smearing food all over their happy, chubby little toddler faces. Somehow it took some of the resentment out of the story. But not all.

“We got ambushed,” I said, remembering the cold feeling of betrayal that stole over me as the self-professed ‘freedom fighters’ came screaming down from the hillside. “They came from three directions at once. Our only choice at the time was to retreat to the southeast, but Duncan was at the head of the column. Somehow, in all the smoke and gunfire, he ended up on the other side of the hill from us. We found out later he’d mag-dumped his primary weapon and his secondary jammed.”

She didn’t need to know all this. I was giving her too many details. Then again, I needed to tell the story this way. Probably because I needed to absolve myself of what happened next.

“They converged on him,” I continued bitterly, “and took him down once they realized he was unarmed. By the time we regrouped they’d disappeared back into the hills again. We searched that range for weeks afterward…”

“Did you lose anyone else?” Delilah asked.

“No.”

“Only Duncan?”

“Yes. He was the only one who got separated.”

Gingerly she touched my hand. “It’s okay then,” she said simply. “He’s here now. Whatever happened back there, he made it home.”

Delilah’s eyes were soft, full of caring and understanding. Only she didn’t understand. Not yet.

“He did, yes,” I said. “But not for half a year. Those bastards kept him hidden away, tucked deep in whatever hole they crawled into. He was locked up in a cage within a cave, in what amounted to near total darkness.”

I saw her eyes flare wide at first with shock, then fill with pity and remorse. She got very quiet. I nodded.

“You’ve slept beside Duncan enough times by now,” I said, “so I’m sure you’ve noticed. He bolts up from a dead sleep. Sometimes he’s even screaming.”

I could tell she knew this part. She’d experienced it for herself.

“I just thought he was having nightmares,” she said quietly.

“He is. Of the worst possible kind.”

A measure of silence passed as the gravity of the situation sank in.

“So what happened?” she asked. “How’d he get out?”

“I broke him out.”

She looked adorably incredulous. “You did?”

“It was a combination of sheer dumb luck,” I said, “plus incredible perseverance. But I never left the region unsurveilled. I never made it easy for them to move him, and I veered away from patrol routes often enough to keep them pinned down there, hiding beneath the mountain.”

“What about Liam?”

“He was there too,” I nodded. “But I was the one in command. I was the patrol sergeant constantly berated for going off trail, and I made up so many excuses my superiors started questioning my abilities in the field.” I sighed wearily. “That was the hard part. Our original mission had been so top secret Duncan wasn’t even reported missing. Only the highest ranks knew where he was, or where I told them he would be. Only they wouldn’t go get him. They couldn’t risk mounting an attack like that unless they were absolutely sure.”

“And you were sure?”

“Sure enough to disobey direct orders,” I said grimly. “I’d narrowed down the area of where he might be, and I’d put out enough feelers to know I was getting close. But I was running out of time. The animals that had him were slowly figuring out he was worthless. He wasn’t reported MIA, and so no one was looking for him. No one would pay or negotiate for his release.”

“And once they knew he was worthless…”

I nodded. “That’s when I made my move. I ordered the current patrol back to base, then backtracked when no one was looking. Liam was pissed, but I didn’t want to bring him. I didn’t want to risk anyone but myself…”

The memory of the rescue itself was hazy, probably because it was obnoxiously loud and impossibly dark and full of silvery, star-shaped explosions of gunfire. I explained to Delilah how I’d worked my way down a three-foot wide shaft filled with smoke and screaming, almost certain it led to hell. Instead it led to a rough-hewn door, and ultimately, the cage where I found Duncan, wasting away.

“He was still surprisingly strong for a shattered version of his former self,” I went on. “The biggest adjustment would be regaining his vision. He was missing so many photoreceptor cone cells he could barely make out shapes, much less the sharp edges of things. In time, his eyes would get better though. He’d eat to regain his former weight and workout tirelessly, to regain his former physique. In fact, just a few weeks after his rescue everything would go back to the way it pretty much was.”

I paused, wincing slightly.

“Everything that is, except when it came to me.”

Delilah’s expression had changed again, from curiosity to solemn understanding. It was in that moment she knew.

“They kicked you out, didn’t they?”

I nodded silently. “Kicked out was the best case scenario, actually. Once they finished digging out the trio of slugs I’d taken in my hip and leg, I was patched up and carried off by MP’s. The Colonel who’d initially ordered the raid be kept top secret was technically in the right, but he was made to look like an asshole for not disclosing Duncan’s loss. It was humiliating for him. And since I disobeyed direct orders and put myself at unnecessary risk, I was threatened right there with a full-blown court-martial.”

“Even after rescuing your friend and fellow soldier?” she shook her head. “I mean… what exactly were you supposed to do?”

“Keep my head down, and my mouth shut, apparently.”

“To hell with that,” Delilah breathed.

It was the right answer of course, and the fire in her eyes made me love her all the more. She saw things on the same wavelength we did.

Love her?

Before I could even consider the weight of the words that had so easily passed through my mind, I noticed her waiting expectantly. I guessed it was my turn to speak.

“Exactly.” I said, inhaling slowly. “My only saving grace was that I performed the rescue alone, and didn’t pull any of my team members to come with me. There were no other witnesses, and for that reason, they let me bow out gracefully. I was given a full honorable discharge in exchange for my total silence.”

Delilah’s expression glazed over with all new understanding. “And now you run the Shop,” she said. “You still do what you love, only you’re a mercenary now. But you’re still a soldier.”

“Yes,” I swallowed, bitterly. “It’s all I know.”

“And Liam and Duncan?”

“They’re getting themselves out,” I said. “More slowly, but yeah.”

I wanted to tell her the guys had volunteered to quit with me and I wouldn’t let them. That they could’ve joined me at the Shop years ago, long before we became co-fathers and way before what happened with Roman and Kara.

Instead, the clatter of two plastic spoons hitting the ground at the same time caused us both to turn around. Courtney was staring back at us dumbfounded, covered head to toe in what looked like pasty green goop. Jace was still eating food off his hands. He spread his fingers and began licking the webs of baby food that dangled between them.

“Looks like someone’s gonna need a second breakfast,” Delilah chuckled.