Under Sean’s Protection by Lisa Oliver
Chapter Twenty
Sean couldn’t blame Kyle for falling asleep as soon as they’d showered and fallen into bed. They had both had a rollercoaster introduction to being mated, and for Sean, the way Kyle cuddled into him the moment they hit the sheets was enough for him to ignore the needs of his cock and close his eyes.
It was probably five or six hours later, though, that Sean was woken up by the sound of someone sobbing. Realizing his arms were empty, his forced his eyes open, spotting Kyle sitting on the window ledge. His young mate’s legs were curled up and he was hugging his knees, his face buried in a pillow, his shoulders shaking.
“Oh no, babe.” Sean rolled out of bed and had Kyle in his arms in a blink. “Babe, babe, it’s okay, I’m here.” Carrying Kyle back to the bed, Sean climbed on, keeping his mate in his arms. “Don’t hide from me, sweet one. You should’ve woken me. Come on, tell me what’s wrong. Did you have a bad dream?”
Kyle hiccupped and nodded. Sean gently took the pillow trapped by his mate’s legs and put it to one side. “There, that’s better. Now I can see your gorgeous face. Do you want to tell me about it?”
“I was strapped to that table, again.” Kyle shuddered. “I couldn’t get away. There were bright lights, and I couldn’t see anyone but then I saw the knife, and it was coming for me… coming for my… I tried to wake up. I was so scared - screaming and screaming for you, but you couldn’t hear me, and then… and then…”
“Hey, hey, hey. I’m here now.” Sean was gutted. One of the key elements of assassin training was learning to ignore the horrors and just keep moving on. Poor Kyle hasn’t had to live like that. “You can see, you’re perfectly safe. We’re here, together in our warm bed. No one can get onto this estate without us knowing about it and I’m not leaving your side for anything again, no matter who orders me to. You are and always will be my main priority, okay?”
Kyle nodded again, but Sean could see he was still upset. “Did something else happen in that dream of yours?” He ran his finger under Kyle’s chin, tilting his mate’s head up so he could see his eyes. “Something else that scares you?”
“You’re going to think I’m silly.”
“Nope, not ever.” Sean shook his head. “If there’s something bothering you, then you tell me about it, and we work it out together. That’s what mates do.”
“What if something’s bothering you?”
“Then I would tell you about it and we would work it out together,” Sean said calmly. “But one thing I do know. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“It’s my dad.” Kyle tried to lower his chin again, but Sean didn’t want him hiding.
“Was he in your dream too?”
“No. Not exactly.” Kyle bit the side of his bottom lip. “I thought I heard him laughing though, but that’s not it.” Inhaling shakily, Kyle sniffed and then said, “I’m all confused about him. Like, he shaved his hair to help save you, and… but he used to… and Mom’s all happy now and Michael’s talking again, and I know I should be happy but it’s like this evening I kept waiting for him…”
“To get angry with you again.” Sean nodded. “I noticed you flinched when I was telling the others how proud I was of you when you shifted. You’re not sure you can trust him.”
“But I should be able to, right?” Kyle half turned, resting his thin arms on Sean’s shoulder. “He is my dad, and he tried to help us today, yesterday or whenever it was.”
“Darlin’, trust is earned,” Sean said softly. “Your dad was a good person before he had his accident, wasn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“So, he only started getting angry and lashing out at you all when he was confined to the chair?”
“Yes, but me, and Mom, and Michael, we all tried to help him all we could. But nothing was ever good enough. I wasn’t good enough and he hurt me, and he kept hurting me, and… Mom and Michael have forgiven him so quickly, but I can’t. I’m a bad person.” Kyle started to sob again.
All Sean could do was hold him close, nudging Kyle’s face into his neck so his mate’s wolf could take comfort from his scent, and wait for the sobs to ease. It didn’t take long, no more than five minutes, but as Kyle’s tears slowly faded, Sean started to talk, praying he wasn’t going to make things worse.
“Kyle, sweetness, you’re not a bad person for the way you feel. You’re an adult now, and your feelings are all perfectly valid no matter what they are. You don’t have to trust your dad right now. Nobody is forcing you to. After what you’ve been through, it could take months or even years before you fully trust your dad again and that’s perfectly okay.”
“How can that be okay? Mom and Michael are so happy with him now.”
“And that’s a good thing for them, isn’t it? You said yourself your mom is smiling now, and Michael feels comfortable enough to start talking again. I didn’t realize he’d stopped talking because of your dad’s accident, but it’s great to hear him talking now.”
“So, why don’t I feel like that? I love my dad, I always have, but…”
“He hurt you badly, I do understand.” Sean thought for a moment and then said, “Your mom and dad are mates. While you and Michael have been going through the abuse, your mom was just trying to do right by her mate. She can feel it, through her wolf, that your dad has changed and so for her, she’s probably so damned relieved because her mate is like he used to be, just minus the use of his legs. Now your dad has connected with his wolf again, something he lost when he had the accident, he won’t ever hurt her again, or Michael.”
“Michael’s not mated to him.”
“No, he’s not, but in the eyes of a wolf shifter, Michael is still a child living under your dad’s roof. And there’s a good chance, with him not talking, he didn’t attract your dad’s attention very often. And when your dad was getting angry about anything at all, I bet that you tried to protect your mom and Michael a lot of times by letting your dad take his anger out on you.”
“I didn’t like seeing mom crying and when Michael stopped talking he couldn’t stick up for himself.”
“So, you made sure, every time you could, that when your dad was raging and lashing out, he focused on you and not the others which is a really caring thing to do. You were protecting your family members and that’s what an adult should do.”
“I was a kid when it started.” Kyle was rubbing Sean’s chest muscles, although Sean knew he probably wasn’t aware of doing it. He shifted slightly, to get into a more comfortable position.
“What you need to understand though, hon, is your dad abused you as a kid and as an adult. Your inner child is grieving for the dad you lost after the accident, and your adult side is angry because you’ve been hurt by a man you should have been able to trust. Those feelings are normal, and you are well within your rights to have them.”
“Did you take psychology classes in assassin training or something?”
Sean grinned at Kyle’s mulish tone and the cute little furrow that was sitting between his eyes. “Actually, yes, psychological torture can be just as effective as physical acts, and an important part of being an assassin is understanding how other people think.”
He stroked a finger down Kyle’s soft cheek. “The thing is, sweetness, that you will need time before you can fully trust your dad again, and I think he understands that too. The only reason you’re struggling with these confusing feelings is because your lack of trust in your dad is at odds with your sweet omega nature. You’re hard wired to care for all people, and that’s probably why you’re struggling to cope with these conflicting emotions. But your wolf will understand too, and that connection will help you and when you feel things are right with your dad again, well, you’ll deal with that too. It will be easier for you in some ways. You won’t be living with him anymore, because you’re going to be living with me…”
“You didn’t want to sleep in the room I share with my brother?” The sparkle was coming back to Kyle’s eyes.
“I have a bigger bed, sweetness.” Sean chuckled. “And if you stay here the only person you share a bathroom with is me.”
“Okay.” Kyle smiled. “But we’ll still have to visit them. Mom and Michael won’t understand if we don’t.”
“And we will, frequently.” Sean agreed. “When we’re there you just have to remember to respect your dad because it’s his house, and respect that your mom and to a lesser degree, Michael, have the right to their own feelings and their decision to forgive your dad. As for you and me, we’ll fake it till you make it.”
“You and me?”
Sean chuckled. “Babe, my first meeting with your dad, he had you pinned to a wall. He signed you over to the council. He’s not at the top of my Christmas card list.”
Kyle dropped his chin. “What if I can never make it?”
“Then you just keep faking it. Hon, you’re too kindhearted not to forgive your dad one day, but there isn’t a time limit on it. You’ll process your feelings in your own time and at your own pace, and if anyone gives you any grief about it, you tell them to come and see me.”
“My big bad protector.” Kyle ran his hand up to rest on the bite mark Sean wore with pride.
“Your big sexy protector,” Sean corrected him gently. “There’s nothing bad about that.”
“Hmm, no, there isn’t.” Leaning up Kyle offered his lips. “Kiss me?”
“I’ll do a whole lot more than that,” Sean promised as he bent his head to do as he was asked.
