Pretty Spelled by K.A Knight
Lilith
Sitting cross-legged, she ignores me. She has been trying to ever since I invaded her memories, ignoring my probing comments and questions. It’s the only way I know how to irritate her, to push her. I keep getting shoved further back, but one thought of my family, of what will happen to this world, has me clawing back up.
I’m tired of being a victim.
This world dealt me a bad hand, but I’m not a fucking pity party person. I’m going to do something about it instead of crying and moaning. I may not ever get to be with my love again, but at least I can save him and know he’s okay. It’s time to boss up, as I heard Remi say. Or as my mother would have said, to become the queen I am.
This woman is the epitome of evil, but she has not survived what I have. She has backed me into a corner, and everyone knows when a woman is trapped, cornered, she comes out swinging, fighting harder than ever before. Not because we don’t have anything to lose, but because we have things to fight for, and we know what true strength is.
You cannot be strong without the pain.
Everything in this world worth having hurts.
She has bodies littering the floor around her, ones she is trying to raise, but it seems her powers aren’t working as well as she would like. I have a theory it’s because she’s distracted, emotional, and so even though it means she tortures me, I do the same back, giving her a taste of her own medicine. I rip her apart from the inside, diving into her mind even as I lose myself more each time.
I’m going to use her weakness against her, because everyone has a failing, and I’m finding hers. Pride, pain…she lives in it. We are not so different in that aspect after all.
Her hands are bloody, one even holds the human heart of a minion that she tore up in her anger. The stone floor is saturated with blood as night begins to fall. Mist fills the temple, obscuring everything. I can taste her anger at me, her hatred. She talks of destroying me, of getting rid of me, but I don’t think she can or knows how to, otherwise she would have done it the moment I touched her memories.
She is as trapped with me as I am with her.
She’s distracted, focusing on her magic when I sneak past, ripping open her memories again, forcing them through us both.
“I’ll kill you all!” I scream, thrashing and tugging in their arms. My hands are chained at the base of my spine, the clank of the magically enchanted chain loud as it drags behind me. They haul me over the uneven ground towards the tomb built into the bottom of the mountain. I’ve been betrayed by my own people. They tried to kill me, tortured me for hours in an attempt to end my life, but it wouldn’t happen. I came back every time, darker, angrier. The fires burn inside of me, and darkness fills my veins and pumps through my heart and body.
Now they want to trap me, saying it’s the only way. They want to entomb me for years until I am forgotten, as if forgetting about me will save them from my wrath.
My feet drag into the earth, cutting open the soles until my blood trails behind me. My words act like venom as I try to break through the bindings, to fling my magic at them. Night has fallen, and the darkness, which is usually my friend, is leaving me cold and alone. Of all those I have given power to, who have worshipped and followed me, none stood up to save me. They cowered, they ran, and now I am being cast out in the worst possible way.
I will be locked away, unable to grow my power. Unable to rule this earth.
“Do you hear me? You will suffer for this betrayal! I will burn you alive, rip the skin from your bones, and feast on your hearts,” I howl, struggling in the tightening grip. They ignore me, stone-faced and cold. A troop of those who hate me follow us up the mountain to the small entrance. It’s a long ago forgotten place, empty and alone, ignored while the rest of the world flourishes and grows.
Like me.
“For your crimes against your own people and the humans of this world, today we entomb you, mother of darkness, creator of evil,” a voice calls out. “Your idle threats will not work anymore. You are alone, and now you will be forgotten as you should be. Left throughout time, never to hurt those around you again.” With that, I am plunged inside the darkness.
The memory changes again, this time we are in a casket. The golden edges flare with magic, and my hands and feet are chained to the bottom and top. I am bound and gagged. My magic is stripped from me with whatever they have enspelled this place with. No light reaches here, no happiness. It’s cold, dark, and it will be my grave. They are prying open my chest, a giant slash down the center, ripping my heart out and binding it. They place a spell inside and sew me up as I scream internally. Pain flows through me, followed by the hot surge of anger, but I have no powers to back it up.
After they have sewn me together, they bring over a ceremonial blade, one that has me trying to cringe away. It’s thick and long, and I know what they are going to do with it. The very same thing I have done to others—shove it through my heart and skewer me to the table.
The blade will absorb the magic which naturally exists in my blood, over and over again through the years. If the weapon is pulled free, the user can then absorb that magic…but in this case, I believe they intend to leave it in, to use it as an entrapping device for all time, an extra measure to ensure I never break free.
I try to warn them with my eyes, to throw them back, to hurt them, but they just keep approaching until the glistening blade hangs above me, and then when their chanting increases, it swipes down, fast and quick, like the cobras of the surrounding jungle. It pierces my chest and heart, and embeds into the stone slab. I scream inside, locked there. The agony is unbearable, and my eyes black out. Their grinning, happy faces are the last things I see.
When we come to, she is lying on her side, panting. With a roar, she sits up, throwing me further down, but then her hand lifts and touches our cheek. When she pulls it away, I spot the teardrop on the tip of her finger. She’s crying.
“I will rule this world! Stop testing me, human!” she warns, and then shuts me out, using all of her powers to bind me inside of my body the same way they bound her. Revenge or simple coincidence? It does give me time to think about what I saw.
Was she a product of her past, or was her past a product of her?
I don’t know, but it’s clear she won’t ever stop, she can’t. She wants to make the world pay, bleed, and hurt the way she did for so many centuries. Resigning myself to the dark, I close my eyes, ignoring the slow invisibleness crawling up my legs with each passing hour.
Until, suddenly, I’m not here anymore. My eyes flicker open as warmth touches my cheek. Light. It shines down on me, filling my body with its heat and energy. All around is light, so much light, opposing the darkness I was in.
Is this death?
It can’t be, I still have so much to do. I have to save my family, stop her from killing the—
“Shh, my child. All in good time,” comes a soft, welcoming voice, and then out of the bright light walks an angel—or what I imagine them to look like. She’s in a long, flowing, white lace gown, and her skin shines like the golden sun. Her eyes are a bright amber, and her tipped up lips are pink. Long, blonde hair curls around her face, framing her features. She is beautiful, but I instantly feel at ease, as if happiness comes from just being in her presence, something I didn’t think was possible anymore.
“Who are you?” I ask, my voice soft and quiet. My body doesn’t hurt here, neither does my heart, as if she has taken all that pain away. She smiles sadly and joins me, holding her arm out. Confused, I look to it before slipping my arm through hers.
“Where would you like to go? Anywhere in the world. Tell me,” she insists as we begin to walk through the whiteness. “A beach? A certain country? Riches, rags? You tell me, my child.”
I think about it. For some reason, it seems important. One place to go… I don’t know if this is real, if this is forever or just a dream, but there is only one place I would ever want to go. “Home,” I whisper. “With my family there, Attie and my brothers.”
“Their mates?” she queries.
“Of course, they are family now too. I would want to see my mom again, to see her smiling at something Kyro said and dragging Kal out of his skin. I just want to…to go home,” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes.
“Do not cry, you are home,” she tells me, and the white before us fades away, exposing what I had just talked about.
She brought me home.
It looks like my mother’s house but bigger, with a huge, modern table inside, a fire roaring to the left, and open fields visible through the wide open windows behind the stove where my mother is busy singing and cooking like always. Kyro sneaks up, trying to steal a taste, she turns and swats him away, but Ciar rushes to the other side, dips his finger, and licks it clean. She just laughs, the loud tinkling sound reminding me of my childhood, of happiness and love.
They are all here, sitting around the table, laughing and talking. The breeze blows through, and it even smells like home. “What is this? A dream?” I whisper brokenly, staring at them.
“It’s whatever you need it to be,” she murmurs, and then her arm releases mine and she steps back. I turn to ask her something, but someone clears their throat.
“What are you waiting for, Wildflower?” I turn, my eyes widening. There’s Atlas. His eyes are bright, and his lips are tipped up slightly in our secret smile. His chest is bare, and he’s only wearing trousers from my time, not the modern one. He swallows, tilting his head in confusion. “Baby? It’s time to come home,” he murmurs, trying to pull me in. The others turn to look at me, smiling widely, and a chorus of ‘join us’ comes out.
Calling me home.
But it’s Atlas that stops me. He’s less scarred, and his hair is long and tied back in his warrior braids. He’s not the Attie I know anymore, not the one I love. He’s what we could have been, not what is.
“It’s your choice,” she calls softly behind me.
“This is wrong,” I reply, staring at him as he moves his hand closer. “I want this so badly,” I almost cry, “but it’s not real, my Attie isn’t like this. This is just my dream, my representation of him, not the real him I love. This place…” I turn to look at her then. “It’s my hopes, my dreams, but dreams have no place in my reality. Not anymore.”
“They could, Lilith,” she offers. “Take his hand if you wish and join your family. Stay here, be happy.”
“Or?” I prompt, unable to turn completely away from the sight, so I am left darting looks between her and my family. “There is always an or.”
She grins. “So smart, always was the brightest of them. There is always a choice, you are right, but this isn’t an easy one.”
“Again, they never are,” I reply. “Every choice leads us to a different path, different pain and experiences, different love. They shouldn’t be easy.”
“Very astute,” she praises and nods her head. “I will not lie to you or use word games, you are too strong for that, Lilith of mine. You can stay here in what you wish your life would be like. You could grow old, have children, see this life out…or go back to that dark place, trapped in your body, with no guarantees of survival.”
“Why would you offer me a choice?” I demand.
“Because the world depends on it. You were a mistake, Lilith. A wonderfully amazing mistake. No human should have ever had the powers you possessed, but you did. And when it tore you apart and you were killed, we thought it would right the world. But it didn’t. That mistake left a hole, a void if you will, in which she, the demon, the evil, was able to infect and grow. She pulled you back to life. A life you shouldn’t have come back to. You should have died, but here you are, and it left the world off balance. One tiny alteration threw the world into disarray, and now we face the very real possibility of the world ending. If she consumes you and kills the gods, the world will fall. We must right the wrongs.”
“How?” I question.
“Your death. It was what was supposed to balance it out the first time, until you were reborn, and it will do so again. Your death will be the catalyst for change. Before she reaches full strength, you must die for her to be banished and sent back the fires where she belongs. If you don’t, she will consume the world and nothing will live. No good, no happiness, no love.” She looks behind me. “The Fates make mistakes. We aren’t always right, but we have spent centuries preparing and trying to correct our wrongs. We gave the gods mates to keep them tied to this world, so they would be willing to risk everything. We gave them powers to help defeat the evil, but there was one thing we never expected—you.” Her gaze comes back to me.
“Right now, you hold the balance of this world in check. If she manages to kill them and reach full power before you die, it falls to the darkness. If you die before she reaches her full strength, it falls back into the light.”
“But nothing could be wholly good,” I argue.
“No, you are right. There is evil in the world for a reason, that’s why she can never truly die. Evil lives on in all of us, always, but too much evil, too much darkness means no light. No light means no life. This world must survive. You must die, Lilith. Your sacrifice will save many. It is your burden, it always has been since your birth—the human destined to die, to save everything.”
“But my family…Atlas,” I whisper. “What will happen to them?”
When she stays silent, I know it won’t be good. “Please, I need to know. If I am to choose my fate and my family’s, I need to know the outcome. I need to know if they will be okay,” I plead. The fake dream family is still calling to me, so I turn my back so I’m not tempted to rush into it.
“Your brothers and their mates will survive if you choose to go back, if you choose to die and help stop the end of the world,” she tells me truthfully.
“Atlas?” I ask, a sick feeling starting in my stomach.
“You mated him, Lilith,” she reminds me sadly. “You are irrevocably tied together. He might survive your death, but I can’t be certain.”
“Give me a percentage,” I snap, and look back to see Atlas still staring at me from the dream. Can I really return to die, knowing it might kill him? But if I stay here, won’t he die anyway? The choice is messing with my head, and I stare at her imploringly, asking her to tell me what to do.
What is the right choice?
One benefits me, I get my family forever. No more pain, no more suffering, no death. But that means my world dies and my family with it. Am I really so scared of pain and death to be selfish enough to stay here? All my life, I did everything for others…
“Fifty-fifty, I really don’t know, Lilith. I wish I could set your mind at ease, but your mating was not made by the Fates, it was created by the universe itself. You are star-crossed lovers destined to be together, so who knows what that means if one of you died.” She steps closer, cupping my hands. “This must be your choice, I can’t make it for you.” She strokes my face. “I have watched you all your life. Your courage, your strength, and the endless bounty of your love. You truly are a miracle, Lilith, mother of immortals. You are the reason the world turns, the reason I believe so deeply in the good of humanity. Your heart is pure, so pure, even when it’s being crushed. I know you will make the right choice.” With that, she leans in and places a kiss against my forehead, lingering there for a moment. “Know that not everything is set in stone. Your actions have consequences, and nothing is impossible if you believe it enough,” she whispers and then pulls back, giving me a look as if to say that was important, and then she turns and walks away.
I have a choice—to follow her back to my death, to the pain and destruction of my world, or to go to my family and live a perfect life. But no life is perfect.
I look back to Atlas, and as much as I ache to take his hand, I know I can’t. I don’t care about destiny or Fates or choices right now, all I care about is me. I couldn’t live with myself if I doomed others. I could never live happily here knowing that somewhere, millions are suffering when I could have done something about it.
Even if it means dying.
The thing is, you can’t fear death, because it will eventually come to you, even to immortals. The humans have it right—live each day to the fullest, and never leave any regrets behind, no matter how terrifying it is at the time. Fearing the end will only influence the way you live.
If you knew, down to the second, the very moment you would die, would you waste your time or would you live it to the fullest?
See the world.
Love deeply.
Hurt.
Be happy.
Would you accept everything this world has to offer, even the bad? I would. Even now, knowing if I go back, I’ll die, it seems worth it. I know I’m saving others and giving them a chance at a life, love, laughter, and family. They deserve it. I’ve lived long enough. I was not always free, but even a moment with my mate and my family was enough now that I know it’s coming to an end. In that one moment with them, I lived a thousand lifetimes.
Choice made, I turn back to Atlas and smile at him warmly. “I need you to know, just in case I don’t see you again, that I’ve loved you with everything in me since I was a child, and I would have loved you until the end of time. She’s right—the universe put us together, just two stars destined to collide. You weren’t perfect, my love, but neither was I, and together, we made something so imperfect, even the Fates themselves couldn’t have imagined what we would have.” Closing my eyes, I press my finger to my lips. “If I could taste you one last time, kiss you once more, have you hold my hand or be in your arms, I would do anything, but I can’t. I just wish I had known it was our last, I would have held on as long as I could. But that’s selfish, my love, it’s a child’s wish. We make our own paths, and for a time, ours crossed, and that time has taught me lessons. It’s taught me pain, love, and happiness, and without it, I wouldn’t be who I am today. So even though it hurts, even though I may never see you again, I go to my death knowing my world was a better place for having you in it, and no one could ever love as deeply or as truly as I did you,” I whisper, the words ending on a croak. I step back, a tear trailing down my cheek. I don’t wipe it away, it should drench this world like a tidal wave, because something world changing is happening.
I’m choosing him.
I’m choosing them.
I’m choosing death, and the world will never be the same again.
He frowns and drops his hand as he tries to advance, to come after me. Just like my Attie would. He’s never willing to give up, always ready to fight for his family, for me, no matter the cost to himself. He’s spent so much time saving this world and his family. He must be protected.
This time, it’s their turn to be saved, and only I can do that.
No, I’m wrong. I’m not choosing my death, I’m choosing their lives.
Turning, I tilt my head back and determinedly walk towards the woman as she retreats faster and faster, and my legs speed up until I’m running to her, to my destiny. Tears fall and my heart breaks, even as I’m finally set free. People search their whole lives for meaning, for purpose…
I found mine.
She turns, smiling sadly at me. “You will never be forgotten. Be strong enough to endure, my child. I will see you in the beyond.” I race towards her, and as I am about to hit her, we explode into brilliant technicolour.
The utterly stunning colours of my soul sparkle around us, like dust refracting a rainbow across the world, giving it hope. Giving it a chance to survive. This is who I am.
I’m Lilith.
God lover.
Saviour of the world.
The woman who lived to die.
When the light fades, I am back in the dark, but I have a new understanding, a new strength. I sit up, feeling stronger. She will die with me.
She thinks the world will end, but she is wrong. She will die, even if I have to drag her kicking and screaming back into those fires she freed me from.
Atlas…my love…
Do not stop this.
Do not save me.
