Vicious Boys by Nora Cobb
Chapter Eleven
Vicki
In the morning, as soon as I open my eyes, I know that nothing is right between the four of us. The positive feelings fade as quickly as the sun rises. Awake but too tired to move, I lie under the covers and stare out my bedroom window at a gray, overcast sky. I can’t see the ground with my head flat on the pillow—only a square of gray and the tall tops of a few solitary pine trees. Tall and straight, I see the trees separately though they grow in the same woods. As the sun rises higher, the beautiful moment from last night is forgotten as fast as the gray haze fades into somber blue.
I sigh. My shoulders ache as I sit up in my tiny twin and lean against the chilly plaster wall. When we returned last night, we barely spoke as we hurried out of the cars. The vision we experienced by the lake of togetherness and not being judged by anyone, including ourselves, was quickly forgotten. It was as if the drive back to Redwood erased the harmony between us.
I torture myself by wondering if the boys used my body to compete. A sick competition to see who could make me cum. Which one could work me into a frenzy? Which one would make me say the sweetest things? I’m a hopeless fool again. I swallow, tasting the bitterness of my mistake.
Despite my anger, I can’t help being nosy. I get up and lean against the window to see if Chase’s Lamborghini is parked in the lot. It’s gone again, and I’m not surprised. I wanted that experience last night to be a bridge between the four of us, but it wasn’t even a reprieve. Maybe it isn’t love to them, though how could they be so tender if it wasn’t? I wouldn’t feel this way if it didn’t exist. My phone chimes, and it’s a text from Dom, telling me what I’ve already guessed. Chase has packed up and left school.
It’s still early, not yet 7 a.m., and my first class starts in two hours. So, I have two hours to do what? I’m tempted to go to Dom and Chase’s suite, but why? So Dom can show me Chase’s closet where he hung his T-shirts, the bare floor where he kept his books, or the posters missing from the walls? No, I don’t need to see the proof, and I refuse to blame myself for the fallout. What I did last night was to show Chase, Silas, and Dom how we could be together if we risked it. I’ll talk to Silas first. After all, we’re partners.
I pull on my Converse with the backs worn down and wrap myself in a fuzzy white sweater. I slip out of the suite and tap on his door. I wait out in the empty hallway, wondering if Rhys will answer, or worse, Talia. I don’t get that at all. Why is she now hanging out with Rhys? I wait, wondering if I should’ve carried my phone with me when the door finally opens. Silas stands in the doorway with bed hair and puffiness under his eyes. He hesitates as his eyes focus on me. The harsh early morning gaze leaves his face, and eventually, he steps aside. I step in timidly, second-guessing my actions, but I did nothing wrong last night. I tried to show the boys that I loved them all the same.
“I got a text from Dom,” I tell him, “Chase went home early this morning.” I follow Silas to his bedroom without thinking until I step over the threshold. “Who else is here?”
“Nobody,” Silas shuts the door to his room. “Rhys is sleeping at Theo’s, and I told them to keep Talia there. I don’t like her here when Rhys isn’t around to watch her.”
I don’t say anything, but my bewildered expression says it for me. “And what about Rosemonde? Are they all sleeping in the same twin bed?”
Silas studies me with his stern look. “Ironically, she dumped me.” He laughs when my eyebrows lift in shock. “While Marcy was causing a scene with Chase, Rosemonde was here quietly telling me to fuck off forever.”
“Shit,” I murmur.
“She met someone else,” he continues. “She told me he’s a young actor that’s moving up, not sliding down into oblivion. She said she’s looking forward to seeing me on ‘Where Are They Now?’”
Silas watches me, but I’m silent. I don’t agree or deny it. Maybe I should wrap my arms around his shoulders and stroke his ego like a hard cock. Or I should tell him that he’s a star and will always be one. But I don’t. I stand there, silently staring into his intense gaze until he scoffs and turns his back on me.
“I don’t know what to say,” I tell him truthfully. “I don’t think of you as a has-been. I mean, you still act on TV. Besides, you’re in school. How much time can you spend acting when you’re getting your degree?”
His shoulders tighten under his T-shirt, stretching the fabric across his back. I realize too late what I’ve said. Maybe he’s in school because he isn’t acting.
I change the topic quickly. “What are we going to do about Chase?”
Silas faces me again. The change in him is gradual but swift, like watching sand rush through an hourglass. It doesn’t move quickly, but it moves too fast to stop it. There is nothing I can say or do to stop Silas from turning on me. A chill runs down my neck. Of course, they were expecting me to choose last night. He must be pissed I didn’t link my arm in his and strut alongside him into his room when we got out of the car.
His words jab at me. “Why the fuck should I care?”
I step away from him. “He’s a friend?”
“Is that what he is to you?” A sick twist curls his lips. “So, I’m the partner, Chase is the friend, and what is Dom?”
“Don’t do this.” I feel so small as Silas stares at me down. I’m baffled and don’t know how to handle his ego. “It was special last night. The way we were together. We were becoming one.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not possible. I’m not ready. Neither is Chase, or he’d still be here.”
“I won’t take the blame for this,” I shoot back, “No one falls in love by accident. I didn’t trick any of you into being with me.”
“Pleading ignorance again,” his face is set in a scowl as he sits down on the edge of his unmade bed. The top sheet is twisted as if he spent the night wringing it in his sleep. “You really are clueless about what you do to us. Maybe you didn’t mean it maliciously. But I feel like I’ve been played again.”
“I apologize. It wasn’t a game for me last night.” I touch his shoulder gently, and it seems to calm him down.
“I wasn’t referring to you.” Silas stares at the floor and then glances at the binders lining his walls.
Maybe Silas is losing his tight hold on Redwood. Talia has grabbed the tiny fraction he’s let slip out of his grasp. Or maybe Rosemonde tore out pages before she left for the last time. His forehead creases as he ignores me in favor of his thoughts. The only thing we’re sharing now is awkwardness.
“Then what are you talking about?” I ask quietly, “Who’s playing you?”
Quickly, he turns around to face me, and I stumble backward into the bed. “We have a publicity date over the weekend at the Hollywood Bowl. I have to be there to network. You know, find a gig before people forget me. A lot of important people will be there who I want to return my calls, and I’ll buy your dress.”
“I can do it myself,” I insist hotly. “I gave up on the flannel. And now I shop in stores that sell brand-new clothes.”
His lips curl into his signature scowl. “The mall doesn’t count. This is a small, private event. Invite only, and I paid 30K for our plates.”
My eyes widen, and I almost forget what I’m about to say. “30K a plate for what? It better be going to charity. And I can pick out a dress. I’ll ask Theo to help me. Or Luna.”
“No offense, but I don’t need you traipsing around like an anime pinup.” Silas steps close, and I try not to wince, but those damn emerald eyes send shivers through me all the time. Even when he’s acting pissy, Silas is too damn good-looking, and I hate the way he lures me in when he behaves all alpha and shit.
I must have a look on my face that’s craving and inviting. Silas pulls me close, gripping my arms tightly in his hands until the pressure makes me squirm. Silas bites my lower lip, and I give him my mouth.
I pull away first. “I thought you were mad with me.”
“Not any longer,” he says, “I just wanted to remind you who you’re with.”
***
I hurry back to my suite to dress for class and hear voices as I walk in. Luna’s awake, and Dom is standing in her doorway talking to her. I push the front door shut and walk toward her bedroom. Dom either doesn’t see me or doesn’t care. He disappears into her room. My heart sinks when I see him relaxing on her bed. They’re both in sweats, and Dom is messing with her braids. Playfully, he tickles her nose with the end.
“I braid my hair every night before bed,” she tells him, batting his hand away. “Or I’d have to spend an hour combing out the tangles in the morning.”
My stomach aches as the jealousy starts to fuck with my head. And I know why I’m jealous. I’m standing here witnessing the relationship I want to have with the boys. This sweet closeness as Dom swats Luna’s nose with the end of her braid, and she giggles, trying to catch it in her mouth. But instead, sex has made my relationships messy and complicated. They look up to see me watching. Luna stops giggling as Dom sits up straight on the edge of her bed.
“I was looking for you,” he says matter-of-factly.
Casually, I lean against the doorjamb and cross my ankles. “I went to ask Silas about Chase.”
He frowns. “Why’d you go over there to ask?”
I straighten up, refusing to look at Luna, who is intently listening to our conversation. After our argument, we’ve been traveling in different universes from each other, and I don’t like it. But too late to change, and sorry is just a lame excuse.
“I thought he might know something,” I reply weakly.
“Well, he wouldn’t know more than I would. I live with Chase.” Dom drapes his arm over Luna’s shoulders and gives her a squeeze. “Oh, I asked Luna about being in one of the film shorts for the festival.”
“Wait. Which one?” I ask. “We’ve started shooting already.”
Dom looks as if he could not care less. “We need someone else for Gluttony. Rosemonde quit. Something about Silas. Girls can be fickle.”
I can feel myself frowning. What did Dom mean by that crack? Dom may not be interested in Luna, but he’s hanging all over her in her bed and calling me fickle.
Luna shrugs. “Don’t worry, Vicki. I’m not doing it.”
“I’m not worried,” I reply, but my voice sounds testy.
Luna frowns. “Well, you don’t look too happy,” she informs me. She’s not trying to piss me off. Playing games is never her style. I miss us not being best friends, so I try desperately to explain my reaction.
“I’m just upset about yesterday,” I tell her sincerely. “Am I the only one who cares that Chase is gone?”
“Maybe he wants you to go look for him? Without us tagging along,” Dom says bluntly.
Laughing, Luna leans into Dom and practically knocks him flat onto the bed. She messes with his shaggy blond hair, and I watch them like a forgotten third wheel. So, last night really meant nothing to him. I can’t watch this anymore.
“I’m going to get dressed for class,” I tell them.
But Luna calls me back, and I return to her doorway. “I told him no, Vicki, because I’m not interested in a student project.” She sniffs like a snob, but she’s smiling too hard to be serious. “I’ve got a big interview in LA.”
“That’s great,” I squeak. “I’m so happy. What’s it for?”
Luna’s expression lightens when she hears the sincerity in my voice. “Modeling in a commercial for overseas distribution, and that’s perfect for me.” She clasps her hands together. “I want to travel the world.”
“They probably shoot them here,” deadpans Dom.
“Shush.” She swats his legs. “I’m dreaming out loud. I’ll fly on private planes with a mountain of luggage and ride through airports on a cart. And may I never have jet lag.”
“Or fly coach,” quips Dom. “I’m going with her,” he announces proudly as he tugs one of Luna’s long braids.
“I’d like to go too,” I tell her softly.
The expression falls off her face as she tilts her head, staring at me as if I had the nerve to talk. Luna gets up and approaches the doorway. I hold still, not quite sure what she’ll do. She links her arm in mine, and I feel that glowy happiness that’s always around Luna surround me.
“Of course you can come.” She brushes her cheek against mine and kisses the air. “We’ll have lunch after.”
Maybe, I’m forgiven.
