Rev by Jeanne St. James

Chapter Nine

“What do you mean?”Reilly asked him.

She never talked about it. No one did.

Rev hadn’t been there. Thank fuck. That was the kind of shit that made nightmares. And Reilly had been the one to engage the actual button on the incinerator to do “the deed.” She had shoved past Deacon and slammed her palm on it to ignite the burners.

To burn a still conscious, breathing human being to death.

Did that motherfucker deserve it? No fucking doubt.

Still… It was disturbing.

He wondered if she had nightmares about it. About hearing a man scream as he was being incinerated.

But like Saylor, Reilly acted like it never happened. Maybe it was repressed memories, like she mentioned. “That day—”

She interrupted him. “Just because I don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. I think about it every damn day.” Her cheeks had turned a dark shade of pink. It wasn’t from embarrassment.

They found it difficult to embarrass the woman. No matter what was said by any of the guys, even when they busted her non-existent balls, she never was offended or embarrassed. She could take ball-busting as good as she could give it.

That attitude made him a little lusty over her, too. More than a little lusty.

“Not what he did to you. What you did to him,” he clarified.

“I didn’t do anything to him. He caused that himself. But if you want me to say something about that particular incident, then I’m glad I took the burden off Deacon. Nobody but me should’ve done it. And, as we all know… Paybacks are a fucking bitch.”

Normally, he’d grin at that last part but he got caught on the fact that she wanted to kill the motherfucker herself, so it wouldn’t be anyone else’s burden.

“I got everyone into that whole mess, so I wanted to be the one to get us out. I appreciate how everyone stepped in to help me even though you all hardly knew me.”

“Yeah, but Deke didn’t wanna make that motherfucker pay just ‘cause of you, it was for what he did to Reese, too.” Warren hurt both sisters. He had also hurt other women in the past and would’ve hurt others in the future if he’d been allowed to keep breathing. He was that much of a fucking piece of shit.

“Reese is my sister.” She slapped a hand to her chest, drawing his eyes to her tits for a brief second. Or two. His gaze rose when she finished with, “And I handled it for both of us.”

She certainly did. Like a fucking boss, too. Even so… “I shoulda killed that motherfucker. Shoulda fuckin’ killed him even before Deke and the others got there. As soon as he swung that fuckin’ baseball bat in your direction. Shoulda grabbed that bat and smashed his fuckin’ brains in. Just like he wanted to do to you.”

Then the fucker would’ve been dead and no one would’ve had the “burden” of pushing that button while he was still alive. Throwing the asshole into the furnace would’ve been only about getting rid of any evidence that Billy Warren ever existing. The same way they got rid of the Shirleys when any of his brothers pulled one off the mountain. Or used to.

That Shirley situation was currently in limbo until the feds did what the feds were going to do with them first.

“You weren’t there when he first showed up, remember? Rook and Whip were. Rook saved my damn life. Maybe I should’ve given him a thank-you blowie for that…”

A thank-you blowie?

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” he growled. She better not be fucking serious! It was bad enough when Rook got to be the one to hang all over her while taking the Instagram photos to draw Warren out of hiding. They had pretended to be hooking up and acted like it, too. Rev had to walk away every fucking time Rook had his hands all over her “for the camera.”

She rolled her eyes at his reaction. “I’m kidding. Rook would never get head from me because he’s an asshole. I’ve had my fill of those after dealing with the dead douchebag. Assholes are permanently off my blowjob list.”

She had a blowjob list?

She tilted her head and her blonde hair fell to the side. “And, anyway, what if you’d been arrested for bashing his head in? Saylor would be on her own right now. You’re her family, Rev. She needed you, she still needs you. You’re also the only one—well, besides me now—who knows about her past.”

Her past.He should’ve done something to stop that “past” back then. “Failed her.”

“No you didn’t. Kids shouldn’t be forced to make adult decisions. Reese was forced to do that and so were you.” She planted a hand on his stomach and he automatically sucked in his gut at the contact.

Her touch on his bare skin felt electrically charged. Like she could control his pulse with simply a touch. That same pulse started to pound somewhere it shouldn’t. Just from her warm, soft hand planted on his skin. From her big green eyes tipped up to his.

From her sinking her teeth into her plump, bottom lip.

He mentally groaned at how fucking tempting she was.

He thought if he could resist her last night when he was drunk, he’d be strong enough to resist her when he was sober. But maybe moving her into his room had been a bad idea. Because, as they stood that close inside the small motel room, his lust for her was spilling over into something more. Even though it shouldn’t, since the topic they were discussing should be a turn-off for anyone with a normal brain.

But, for fuck’s sake… Knowing she’d never been fucked by any of his brothers and he could be the only one to do so… was starting to fuck with his judgment. And his dick.

“You weren’t the only one with shitty parents. Our father deserted us because our mother was a damn drunk. He didn’t only leave her, he selfishly left his two daughters, too!”

Her words solved his fucking dilemma. They had the same effect as if he’d soaked in Morton Salt dissolved in a tub of ice-cold water.

“He was so fed up with her drinking, especially when she was pregnant with me, he simply decided to say fuck it and forget we ever existed. What kind of dickhead father does that? Decides to leave a bad situation but leaves his daughters behind?”

Rev had done the same damn thing… “I left Sarah behind.”

“You were sixteen, Rev!” she shouted, practically in his face. “How the hell were you supposed to take care of a seven-year-old? And do it without being caught and charged with kidnapping? How? I’m sure if you could have, you would have. Unlike you, my father was an adult who wanted us until he decided he didn’t. Then Minnie wanted nothing to do with me after I was born because she blamed me for her man leaving. Me! While I was in her damn womb. When it was she who was drinking while I was just floating helplessly in a sack of fluids inside of her.”

He cringed at that description, but it also pissed him the fuck off.

“Reese called our mother Minnie, or Minimum Mom, for a good reason. The woman had done the bare minimum to keep us alive. And once we were older, she stopped making the slightest attempt to do even that. Reese did everything. If she didn’t know how to do it, she figured it out. Did she screw things up? Yes, but at least she tried. Because of her sacrifice, I owe her everything in return. I am the reason Reese never had a childhood.”

“No. Your goddamn mother is. Your father, too. Ain’t your fault.”

“Just like it isn’t yours that you had to leave Saylor,” she shook her head and released a cute little snarl, “Sarah behind.”

Her fingernails dug into his flesh and she stepped even closer, until her bare toes were pressed to his. He held his breath because he was having a hard time not grabbing her hair right now and throwing her onto the bed. No matter who or what the fuck they were talking about wasn’t helping that urge.

“Reese did what she had to do for us to survive. You did what you had to so you could survive to be able to help your sister later, when you could. To me, you did the best you could, Rev. Be happy you have each other.”

He was struggling to stay on track, to cling to his anger at his parents. At hers. At that Warren motherfucker.

Instead, he was focusing on the way her mouth was shaped, the way her tongue darted out and moistened her bottom lip. The way her pupils had become wider. The heat of her body. The way she filled the cotton shorts and snug T-shirt she now wore. He was tempted to feel the contrast between how soft that cotton was and how hard her nipples were.

Just a touch. No one would know.

He needed to feel the weight of her breasts in his hands. The softness of her mouth on his. He wanted to draw a groan from deep down inside her until it filled his ears.

“This whole thing with your parents… You’re not upset or pissed, or whatever, over what you lost. You’re upset over what you never had.”

What?He shook himself mentally.

“I didn’t lose good parents. I never had them,” she continued. “Neither did you. You can’t miss what you never had but you can be mad you never had it to miss.”

Christ. She was making too much sense, even though he was struggling to follow what she was saying. And why the fuck was she still talking about people he hated?

He didn’t want to think about her parents right now. He didn’t want to even think about Saylor. He sure as fuck didn’t want to think about how his mother was a cold bitch to him this morning and disappeared as soon as she’d seen him in the house. Or how his miserable, asshole father was still fucking breathing.

Fuck no.

He wanted to think about the woman who stood so close he could smell her citrusy-scented body wash and see how flawless her skin was, all except for the scar she tried to hide.

He could see her chest rising and falling as she took deeper and deeper inhales. He could see her lips parting to release those breaths.

Her palm slipped a little on his stomach. He had no idea if it was by accident or on purpose, but now the tip of her thumb was pressed to the top edge of his waistband.

“Rev.”

“Heard everythin’ you said,” he murmured, right now not even giving a flying fuck about anything she said. Unless it had to do with getting naked with him and sliding down his now-throbbing dick.

“This conversation shouldn’t have made you hard.”

No fuckin’ shit.

“Wasn’t the conversation, buttercup.” She’d noticed how hard he’d become, but did she notice he was hard enough that his zipper was trying to tattoo a pattern into his dick?

Her hand was still there, now pressed to his lower stomach, only a few inches from his hard-on. All she had to do was slide her hand down. Just a little.

Slide it down, Reilly. Touch me ‘cause I can’t touch you.

“We’re not supposed to,” came out on a ragged breath.

“But you wanna,” he said.

Jesus Christ, woman, say no. Say you don’t want me. Say it so I stop bein’ tempted. So you stop temptin’ me.

Her eyebrows rose. “You don’t?”

Reality cracked him upside the head. “You know I fuckin’ can’t,” he practically growled, wanting to punch a goddamn wall.

“You know what? I’m tired of being a pariah in the club. The untouchable one when all I want for you to do is touch me.”

That wasn’t what he needed to hear. He needed to pack his shit tight so he could resist. “Me? Or any one of us? Is it me ‘cause I’m the one here right now, the one who’s available? Or me, ‘cause you only want me?”

“Does it matter?”

His head snapped up and his nostrils flared. His rough words came from the back of his throat in what sounded like a strangled growl. “Yeah, woman, it fuckin’ matters. It sure as fuck matters. If I break this goddamn rule, it needs to be for a good reason and not just to empty my fuckin’ balls. I can do that anywhere where I don’t risk getting maimed. You get me? And I ain’t here just to get you off, either. This will be a huge violation of the rules. A violation that has a worse punishment than what my father could ever give me. Also, don’t think I’m gonna fuck you, then turn around and watch you fuck another one of my brothers. Or anyone else, for fuck’s sake. That shit ain’t ever gonna happen.” He dropped his head until they were practically nose-to-nose. “So, yeah, it fuckin’ matters.”

He fisted her hair, yanked her head back and pressed his mouth to her ear. He brought his voice down an octave lower. “Want my tongue in your mouth, my dick in your pussy, my fingers in your ass. Wanna fill you up with my cum, want you to soak my dick and balls. Wanna feel you pump me ’til I’m empty and you’re full.”

Her shuddered breath escaped her in a rush and her shiver left goosebumps behind in its wake.

Fuck yeah. Her nipples now had to be diamond hard.

“Never done what I’ve been told. Never followed anyone else’s rules but my own. ’Til the Fury. To keep my home, to keep my brotherhood. But, fuck, babe, you’re one rule I wanna break so goddamn badly.”

When another shuddered breath rushed from her, it almost sounded like a sigh. Her hand fisted the waistband of his jeans and twisted it tightly. But, still, she said nothing.

No words were needed, he could see everything he needed to know on her face. In her eyes. In the way she breathed.

“Know you want this. Know that’s why you came into my room last night wearin’ that shit. But not sure if givin’ in to what I want, what you want, is worth losin’ everythin’. It’ll stir shit I don’t want to fuckin’ stir.”

“No one needs to know.”

He huffed out a breath. “Yeah, right. No one needs to know. We’ll know. I’ll fuckin’ know. Once I sink my dick inside you, once I taste your pussy, ain’t gonna be easy to forget.”

“You might be giving me more credit than you should.”

“It’s risky to find out.”

Her sigh this time was nothing like the previous one. “I love this club and you guys but I hate the rule that includes me. It’s not right or fair.”

“Bein’ a part of this club means rules. And it’s one way your sister’s lookin’ out for you.”

“She’s done that my whole life. She can stop at any time now.”

“She ain’t ever gonna stop, Reilly. You know that. She might be your sister but she raised you like a daughter. Wants the best for you. That’s what true family wants for each other. Good shit, not bullshit.”

“But a Fury member is good enough for her. What a fucking hypocrite.”

Sighing, he straightened and stepped back, giving the two of them space. This turn of conversation was quickly killing his erection and he needed to think more clearly, anyway. “Difference is, Deacon’s her ol’ man. She wears his cut. That right there means a lot. She don’t want anyone usin’ you like a sweet butt. Don’t want anyone disrespectin’ you. I get it. That’s exactly why Saylor’s on that same fuckin’ list. She don’t need to be ridin’ a different dick every night. You don’t, either.”

“Why don’t you let us make those decisions for ourselves?”

“You can. You can ride as many dicks as you want.” Lie. “Just ain’t gonna be Fury dicks.” Truth. “That’s something Reese can control. Anyone not wearin’ Fury colors, she can’t.”

“That’s why I had to—” Her lips pressed together and she turned away. She walked the few steps over to the window and peered out between the closed vertical blinds.

Out back, there was nothing to see but a parking lot and a privacy fence. The motel wasn’t full. The clerk had assured him that the rooms in the rear of the motel weren’t normally used until the front rooms were first filled, so they’d get plenty of privacy.

Why she was glancing out the window, he had no fucking clue, unless she was simply trying to avoid finishing her thought.

“Had to what?” he prodded, stepping behind her and confirming nothing was out there to cause any interest or concern.

She continued to look outside at nothing when she murmured, “Find some elsewhere.”

He stared at the back of her head, of all that blonde hair falling loosely around her shoulders, doing his best to ignore what she just said.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t ignore that, just like he couldn’t ignore her. No matter how hard he tried.

It shouldn’t fucking bother him because she was a hot fucking chick in her mid-twenties. She was no prairie dress wearing virgin waiting for a husband before spreading her legs. He knew that.

He. Fucking. Knew. That.

But he had always wanted to ignore that she might be finding dick elsewhere.

The same with Saylor.

Jemma, Reilly, Saylor and Tessa, the prez’s sister, went out a lot together since they were all closer in age. He was pretty fucking sure, being Cage’s ol’ lady, Jemma wasn’t trolling for dick. But the others?

He set his jaw. Manning Grove didn’t have a singles’ scene but tourists, Mansfield U. students, and others with functioning libidos were always coming to town and even hitting up Crazy Pete’s for bands, pool tournaments, and all the other shit Stella scheduled at the bar to bring in more customers.

He pursed his lips. The women went there a lot for karaoke…

For fuck’s sake, maybe they only said they were heading to Pete’s and, instead, hit up Mansfield or even Williamsport, where there were plenty of bars or clubs to find a random hookup. And where no one would notice, like Dodge or Stella.

Though, Stella would never spill that info anyway, since there seemed to be some sort of code of silence in the sisterhood. That alone should pucker the assholes of all the men attached to those women.

“Wanna say that again?”

She let the blinds fall back into place and turned to face him. “This stupid ass rule is why I have to find dick elsewhere.” As his mouth opened, she threw up a hand to stop him. “Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you say one fucking word. Not one. You all stick your dicks anywhere you damn well please—“

“Not anywhere—”

She ignored him and plowed on. “And no one blinks a damn eye. I’m supposed to watch you all getting your rocks off—front and center, I might add—and I’m supposed to go back to my place and be satisfied with my Rabbit or my own hand.”

What the fuck was a rabbit? Besides the furry animal with big ears.

“That’s just bullshit. I’m a living, breathing woman who has needs. Just like you guys have needs. I’m an adult and not a damn child. I can make my own damn decisions of whose cock I want to ride or suck.” She frowned. “Close your damn mouth. It’s hanging open like you have a damn brain injury or something.”

He snapped his jaw closed. “What’s a rabbit?”

She bugged her eyes out at him and sighed. “It’s not dick, that’s what it isn’t. While it gets the job done, it’s lonely. Sometimes you just want the weight of a man crushing you as you come, or you want to hear his deep grunts in your ear as he pumps his thick dick in and out of you, or you want to watch his face twist up when he finally blows his load. Your mouth is hanging open again.” She stepped closer and pushed it shut with her fingers.

“Reilly…”

“I love sex.” She raised a finger. “Good sex. I liked it before the dead douchebag and it’s been kind of okay afterward, but nobody has knocked it out of the park recently. In fact, it’s been rushed and unrewarding. A back alley—”

“What?”

She kept talking. “—fuck in a backseat of a cramped car isn’t always satisfying.”

“You need to shut the fuck up now.”

She planted her hands on her hips and glared up at him. “Why? Because you can’t imagine me having sex? Or you don’t want to?”

Both.

No, the second one. Because the first one he could. As long as she was having that sex with him. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his fists to the sides of his thighs because if he didn’t, he was going to grind them into his eye sockets to wipe away the vision of her having sex with anyone else from his head.

She kept talking anyway because that was who she was. “So, what’s wrong with me wanting to have sex in a damn bed with someone I trust, to actually take our time and make it good? I could really use a good fuck.”

When those last two words came out huskily, his eyes opened.

“And no one has to know,” she finished.

“Had that discussion already,” was all he could manage.

“Yes, well, we’ll know.” She threw her hands up and yelled, “Who the fuck cares? Fuck me and forget about it. Then, once we go home, you can go back to your man-whore ways.”

She was trying to make what she wanted seem more simple than it was. Most of his brothers would jump on that offer and not even think twice. In fact, before she had even been done talking, they would’ve had their dick out and in their hand, impatiently waiting on her to stop running her mouth and wrap it around their hard-on instead.

But it wasn’t any of them standing in this room, it was him. “You ain’t gonna say shit if you see me railin’ one of the sweet butts?”

Her brow dropped low.

Yeah, he didn’t think it would be that easy. It never was with a woman.

“No. Why would I?”

Hold up. That meant…“You’re sayin’ you only wanna use my dick temporarily.”

“Yes, why not?”

Why the fuck not?he wanted to repeat in a scream.

“That whole to-do list you growled into my ear earlier—which made me wet, by the way—proves to me that you want to fuck me. Am I wrong?”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Well, then…” She shrugged. “I just decided what we’ll be doing to pass the time the rest of this afternoon… Instead of watching one of those boring black-and-white movies.”

He stood frozen in his spot by the window as she moved toward his bed. While she did so, she ripped her T-shirt over her head, reached behind herself to unclip her bra, letting it drop to the floor, and then she paused with her back to him. She snagged the elastic waistband of her shorts, bent over and shoved them—and whatever panties she’d been wearing—down her legs until they dropped to her feet.

What.

The.

Fuck.

This was not a fair fight. Not a fair fight at all.

How could she just do that and…

He needed to go get her room back from the front desk, then he needed to go over there and take an ice-cold shower.

Because his dick now had its own heartbeat. It also had its own opinion, too. It was screaming at him to not look a gift horse in the mouth. To take the damn gift and say, “Thanks.”

Be appreciative.

Stop being a pussy.

She was right. No one had to know.

Coatesville, Pennsylvania could be the new Las Vegas.

What happened in…

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But what happened in Manning Grove once they got back could be far from fun. What happened here might not matter, but what happened there would.

He wasn’t Rook, who thought he could fuck Jet out of his system. He was mistaken, of fucking course, because that was a complete failure.

Rev wasn’t stupid. He was smart enough to know that if he fucked Reilly, he wouldn’t be able to shake her afterward, not because she’d be clingy, but…

He could do this. He could fuck her without wanting anything afterward. Right?

He did it all the time with the sweet butts and randoms.

The only problem was, he’d have to see Reilly almost every day. At the garage, out at the farm. On the runs, at parties.

Stop bein’ a pussy. She’s offerin’ you hers. Take it.

Why was he having a conversation with himself when there was a naked blonde in his room, climbing onto his bed?

All that damn smooth skin, the weight of her tits rocking and rolling as she moved, the tips puckered into tight rosebuds, the curves of her bare hips and ass. Christ, she hadn’t faced him yet, but he was dying to get a good look at what he was only getting glimpses of while she moved to the headboard.

Hisheadboard.

While she was completely naked. And she had already waved the green flag, giving him the go-ahead.

Of course, fool that he was, he still remained frozen in place, his conscience fighting with his ever-increasing thirst for her.

What he’d been fantasizing about for the past year could actually become a reality. All he had to do was fucking move!

“Reilly,” he choked out. His dick was now so goddamn hard, his balls so damn tight, the discomfort almost unbearable.

He was trying not to stare at her, so he could think clearly and make the right decision, but…

He was only fucking human.