706 Sugarbush Lane by Penelope Wylde

Chapter 12

Trinity

Half an hour into my frantic packing, a car door slammed outside followed quickly by heavy footsteps pounding up my stairs.

I froze like the prey of any large predator would do. I’d mostly convinced myself that Sawyer wouldn’t bother coming after me. That what happened between us was all some kind of game.

A fist hammered on my door. “Trinity, you have about two seconds to open this door before I bust it down.”

He sounded more like the big, bad wolf than any man I’d ever heard.

My head dropped forward and my eyes squeezed shut. Guess I’d figured wrong.

“I mean it, Trinity Douglas.”

I picked my head up and a quick glance around the room reminded me the only way out was through the door currently being blocked by Sawyer. Might as well let him in.

I stepped over to the door and turned the lock on the knob and the deadbolt. Before I’d done more than twisted the knob, Sawyer pushed his way inside.

And suddenly my apartment was filled with one big, pissed-off beast. He paced down the length of the room and I swear I heard a growl escape him. For the first time, Sawyer seemed more animal than man.

I stood stock-still by the door, my hand still on the doorknob.

“For fuck’s sake, Trinity, I’m not going to hurt you. You can close the door.”

I glanced outside and saw the street around my apartment was empty. Not that too many of the locals would come to my rescue should I start screaming bloody murder. Let’s face it. I hadn’t done a lot of fostering of friendships over the last few years.

I shrugged and closed the door, taking my time in turning to face the angry man in my apartment.

When I finally did, I almost whirled back around and tried to escape. Sawyer’s eyes blazed through me like he could see my soul. His jaw clenched.

“What the fuck, Trinity? I spent the last half hour searching every corner of my house for you. Most of my relatives spent that time searching the woods around the house. If Dyson hadn’t gotten there and told us he passed you on the road, loaded into Krista Phelp’s car, we would all still be there looking for you. Because for some reason it never occurred to me that you left.” His voice rose from rumbling to something just below a roar as he spit the last two words at me.

It took every ounce of courage I possessed to respond to him. “I didn’t realize I had to disclose that information to you since you didn’t feel the need to explain things to me.”

He rubbed a hand over his short hair. “What didn’t I explain to you, Trinity? Because I think I made it pretty clear that you’re mine. If my telling you right out didn’t make it sink in, making you scream my name over and over again with my dick pounding into you should have done the trick. And the fact I introduced you to my entire family today as the woman I’m with should have clued you the fuck in.”

I shook my head and felt my own temper rising. He wasn’t going to stand there and act like the wounded party here. “Maybe it’s better this way. Just go before any more damage can be done, alright.”

“What are you talking about?”

“How about the fact the entire town is talking about you taking pity on me? I’m no charity case, Sawyer. How about that?”

His face cleared and his eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“Krista filled me in. She told me why my mother was so desperate to trap a Becker. She wanted the money and security that came with your name. Now everyone is talking behind my back how I’ve finally succeeded where she failed.” Pain shot through my chest.

“That you think of me as nothing more than a charity case and mentioned as much to your brothers. But really, that’s neither here nor there because I never asked for anything from you. And you know it.”

I could see the anger leave Sawyer as clearly as I could see the moon in the sky. His jaw relaxed, his shoulders lost their tightness, and the gold moved out of his eyes only to be replaced by a softness that made me want to beg him to see me in another light.

“Krista Phelps is a bitch, sweetheart. And she wormed her way under your skin because she is jealous I never paid her any attention at all. Now she’s trying to get Mac’s attention and will do anything to get what she wants.”

“Doesn’t mean she’s lying. At least not all the time. How can I stay in a town that thinks so little of me?” I rubbed a hand over my heart and my voice dropped to a whisper. “And I’m not running from you, Sawyer, I’m running from the ugly stain my mother left on me the day I was born.”

He moved toward me slowly, his posture reminding me of someone approaching a wounded, cornered animal. I had nowhere to run and it wasn’t like I could overpower him. I stared at him with wide eyes, wrapping my arms around my middle.

He took in my protective stance with a glance. “I would never hurt you.”

I shook my head. “There’s more than one way to hurt someone.”

He stepped closer and I sank my teeth into my bottom lip. My body began to react to his nearness. I could feel my heartbeat pick up its pace. Heat coiled in my belly. Every nerve ending went on high alert and goosebumps rose on my skin.

I started trembling in reaction to my conflicting desires. Part of me wanted nothing more than to turn tail and run. The other part of me was all for running, too—straight into Sawyer’s arms.

“Trinity, tell me what you think you mean to me. Isn’t that the only thing that matters here?”

“You say I’m yours. But that can mean a million things, Sawyer. I’m yours as in another conquest. Yours as in you can do to me anything you please. Yours as in you took my virginity as you think you own me now.”

He shook his head and a gentle smile touched his lips. “No, sweetheart, not in a million years would you only be a conquest on my bedpost. There’s no way I could ever think so little of you. When I say you are mine, I mean I’ve given you my heart and soul.”

I lifted a hand to rub the place he nipped me on the neck.

“And that love bite is just that. A love bite. Krista must have been green with jealousy to make you feel anything other than loved after what we’ve shared. I meant what I said when I asked you to stay. It’s why I took you to my home. I wanted it to be our home. Where we have as many babies as possible.”

Every thought about town gossip, my mother and feeling betrayed by a place that should feel welcoming flew from my mind. “Kids?”

He chuckled. “I can’t wait to see you so round with my child I have to help you get in and out of bed.”

“Sawyer,” I snapped, “that is seriously not sexy.”

“It is to me.”

He tucked me into his strong arms, his heat enveloping me wholly.

“Oh, sweetheart, after being with my family how can you think they would be gossiping. This town loves you. You’ve just let a jaded situation with your mother color your vision. You have to stop looking through those glasses, baby. How can I erase whatever that bitch said from your mind?”

I gave a halfhearted shrug. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Come here, baby.”

He swung me into his arms and tucked his face into my neck.

I tentatively slid my hands up over his shoulders. After several long moments, Sawyer pulled his face from my neck, a big smile on his face.

Sawyer cradled me to his chest and moved us over to the floral-print club chair in the corner of what made up the living room of my studio apartment. He sank into it, settling me on his lap, his arms tight around me.

“Why did you run, Trinity? Why didn’t you come talk to me about everything?”

I stared into his eyes and searched for an answer, but all I could do was shrug.

“When we have a problem, I need you to come talk to me. Don’t jump to conclusions, don’t run away. Come talk to me.”

I wrinkled my nose. Sawyer’s words told me he knew we’d have problems to overcome in the future. Which meant that Sawyer thought we had a future.

My chest ached as hope caught it in a tight grip. “You want a relationship with me?”

Even I could hear the disbelief mingling with hope in my voice.

“Baby,” Sawyer said patiently, “you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.”

“Yes.”

He’d said it before. At the time it had set my pulse pounding and the blood thrumming through my veins. But since he was usually in me or had just pulled out of me when he said it, I hadn’t really trusted that he meant it. Didn’t guys say stuff like that during sex?

I searched his eyes. “What does that mean again?” I needed to hear the words. Call me crazy but my soul could use some extra loving right now and the only thing that could give me that were his words.

“It means you’re mine. My woman. My love. The keeper of my heart.” He raised his hand from where it rested on my hip and brushed his fingers down my cheek. “I’ve been waiting to claim you since I realized you were the only one for me back when it would have landed me in jail. And now, I’ve finally done it.”

The pride in his voice left me breathless.

“Something else you need to take to heart. Nobody, at least nobody who bothered looking, ever thought you were anything like your mother.”

I wanted to believe that. God, did I want to believe that. “Okay.”

He held my gaze a minute before continuing. “I still remember the day you and your mother walked into my bar. I took one look at you, and I knew you would be mine. I just had to be patient.”

I blinked up at him.

“I placed my heart in your keeping a long time ago, Trinity. Waiting for you to grow up, giving you the chance to follow your dreams, just about killed me. I know you made plans for yourself. But I don’t think I can live another day without you. I don’t think I can ever let you go again.”

The fierce possessiveness coloring his voice told me every word he spoke was the truth. He’d wanted me all these years. He’d waited for me. And he was done waiting.

What did that mean to my plans? Could I forget about moving to Syn city? Forget about attending college and building a life of my own away from anyone who ever met my mother?

“Why didn’t you leave here when your mother did?”

“That was my plan,” I told him. “Graduate and get the heck out of here. I got into every school I applied to and even had a few scholarship offers. But not enough to cover my full expenses.”

He drew his brows together. “You hadn’t saved enough to cover at least some of the difference?”

I nodded. “Oh, yeah, I had quite a bit saved up. With a few loans, I would have had my pick of colleges.”

“So, what happened?”

I shook my head and pressed my lips together, pulling in a shuddering breath before I responded. “The thing that happened to ruin my life was the same thing that always happened—my mother. I didn’t go with her when she left because she didn’t invite me. Probably because if I knew her plans, I would have kept a closer watch on my savings.”

His body got very still beneath me. “What?”

“She figured out my password for my online banking. She somehow managed to move all my money into an account I didn’t have access to. And the day I figured it out, I came home to find our house empty. She’d taken all my money except for what was in my pockets and every bit of furniture and stuff from our house.”

He gathered my hands in his and turned the ring he gave me for my birthday over and over like I’ve done countless times.

I could have pawned the ring given it was real gold but I would have rather gone with no food than give something up so precious to me.

The painful memories welled up inside me.

“I had everything I ever wanted within my grasp. I’d worked my ass off to make sure of it. But then in one fell swoop, my mother left, taking all my dreams with her. Living in that house for the next month, no furniture, no food in the cupboards, trying to scrape enough money together to rent a tiny apartment without letting my grades slip, had been one of the worst months of my life.”

“I’ll kill her.”

I turned startled eyes up to Sawyer. His face looked fierce in a whole new way. I had no doubt in my mind that he’d indeed be tempted to kill my mother if she presented herself.

And as bizarre as it seemed, the knowledge that he was so angry on my behalf settled something deep inside me. I slid my arms around his waist and gave him a squeeze, laying my head over his heart.

“It’s okay, Sawyer. I was better off without her. And I managed to take care of myself.”

His arms closed in a tight hug around me and he rested his cheek against the top of my head. “I’m so sorry, Trinity. I should have been here. I should have checked up on you. You shouldn’t have been alone here struggling all these years. I thought I was doing the right thing, giving you the space you needed. I’m just grateful you were still here when I returned. You could have gone anywhere to start over and save for college.”

His words hit me like a sledgehammer. Holy shit. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I’d had to save up money to rent this apartment. But I could just have easily packed my stuff and moved somewhere else. I didn’t even need to go too far. I could have gone to Cherry Falls or Kissme Bay. Both towns were big enough I could have just faded into the sea of people.

But I hadn’t. I stayed right here in Wild Ridge. The place I swore hated me.

“I’m so sorry.” Sawyer kissed the top of my head, dragging me from my revelations.

Oh, no. There’s no way he was taking the fall for my mother’s actions. I sat up straight on his lap. “You aren’t to blame, Sawyer.”

He shook his head. “I wasn’t to blame for your mother’s actions, but I should have been taking care of you since then.”

“You weren’t responsible for me.”

“Sweetheart, I was. I have been since the day I realized you were meant to be mine. The woman who would own my heart for the rest of my life. I should have done a better job taking care of you.”

I fought for breath. “Own your heart?”

He ran the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “Yeah, baby. It’s always been yours.”

Something cracked open inside my chest and tucked my face into his neck as tears filled my eyes. “You love me.”

He tightened his arms around me. “Love doesn’t seem the right word to cover all the things I feel for you.”

I sat up and stared at him, blinking away the tears blurring my vision. I studied each of his features. And I could see the truth of his words.

And as I continued to look at him, his expression wide open and showing me all he felt, something happened. All the wounds inside me—the little cuts and the deep lacerations; all the scars left behind by my mother’s actions and living in a town where I felt like an outcast—all of them began to mend. I could almost feel it as the pieces were stitched together until I was whole again.

And with the healing came knowledge. “I love you, Sawyer. I think some part of me always knew I loved you. I think part of the reason I wanted to run away so badly is I knew I’d have to live here knowing I could never have you.”

He leaned in until his mouth hovered over mine. “You have me, Trinity. You’ve always had me. I’m sorry I waited so long to come back to you.”

With those words hanging between us, he kissed me. I returned it, finding this time it was my turn to be fierce and demanding.