Beneath the Surface by Emily McIntire
Lily
Last night in Phoenix wasn’t what I was expecting, but it wasn’t a complete bust either. I’ve found a camaraderie in Annabelle that up until this point, I haven’t allowed myself to have. We’ve worked together for two years, and she’s tried consistently to become my friend, but I’ve pushed her to the side.
Being alone is safer. Smarter.
It still is, that hasn’t changed.
I doubt I’ll ever be the type of girl who goes out for brunches and sips on fizzy drinks, but after last night, there’s a crack of light filtering through my dark and heavy.
“So, how are things with your kid? Chase, right?” Annabelle asks while we roll up silverware.
“He’s doing fine.” I clear my throat. “Good. I’m just… he’s almost four now, and he needs to be starting preschool, but I don’t really know where to put him or how I’m gonna pay for it.”
She sucks on her teeth. “There’s that KinderCare off Route 60 you could take him to. Don’t they do preschool?”
They do, but the thought of having him around strangers all day and having to acclimate to a new place—having me acclimate to new people to trust him with—is a bitter pill I’m not sure how to swallow. Instead, it just sits on the back of my tongue, slowly dissolving like chalk.
I’ve been putting aside every spare penny I can to enroll him in a preschool. The options around here are limited, but I know he needs socialization with someone other than my fifty-year-old neighbor. I need to give him some other kids to play with and let him spread his wings.
Nerves tumble through my stomach at the thought.
“Yeah, maybe.” I sigh.
The deep growl of an engine distracts me, and my heart skips when I see Alex’s Harley pull into the lot, his leather jacket framing the tattoos that run up his neck.
“Your man’s here.” I nod toward him.
Annabelle smirks, placing a silverware roll-up in the wire basket. “Don’t let him hear you say that. He’ll think I’m going around trying to ‘claim him.’”
Her words are soaking in familiarity when she speaks about him, and for some reason, it makes my chest burn. “Are you two not hooking up?”
Her grin widens. “I didn’t say that.”
“Well…”
She shrugs. “Well, he’s just… not here for a relationship, you know? Honestly, I can’t really see him in a relationship at all.”
“No?”
Her eyes flick to him as she bites her lip and shakes her head. “Nah, he isn’t really the feelings type of guy.”
“So you guys are just what? Friends with benefits?”
“We’re just…” She twists around when the bell dings over the front door. Alex ducks to walk through the entry, a book in his hand, his eyes scanning the restaurant before going to sit in the corner booth.
“He know you’re about to leave for the day?” I ask.
She sighs. “Probably just waiting on me to finish. I’ll be back.”
“Have fun.” I wave her off, ignoring the way my insides twist as she walks over to him.
He strips off his leather and lays it in the booth next to him, setting his book on the table. He smirks as Annabelle approaches, but when she speaks he shakes his head. Her posture droops the tiniest bit as she turns and walks back over.
“Hey, girl. I’m gonna head out, you good here?”
I glance around at the empty booths. “Yep. Does he need food?”
She presses her lips together in a close-lipped smile. “Guess so. He isn’t here for me, that’s for sure.”
I scrunch up my nose.
“It’s fine.” She waves her hand in the air. “Like I said, it’s not like we’re in a relationship. Just a good time. It’s for the best anyway to keep it casual. He doesn’t even live here.”
I glance back at him, my heart jumping when our eyes meet. “Where does he live?”
“I’ve got no idea.”
My eyes swing to hers. “You guys don’t talk?”
She smirks. “He isn’t really the talking type.”
My chest tightens, and I force a grin, even though I disagree. When he’s around me, he never shuts the hell up.
She smiles. “Enjoy your shift. Hope you make a million dollars. Johnny’s a bitch today, so try not to piss him off.”
Nodding, I watch as she ducks down behind the host podium and grabs her purse before walking out the front door. My eyes slide back to the corner booth. Sighing, I stand, brushing off my apron and making my way toward his table, an annoying buzz simmering deep in my gut.
“Back again?” I ask.
He smirks, running his hand through his wind-tousled hair. “Did you miss me?”
“Like a hole in the head.”
He hums as he stares, the silence wrapping around me until I grow heated under his gaze.
My fingers scratch at the inside of my wrist. “You hungry?”
He nods. “You definitely missed me.”
My stomach flips. “I don’t even know you. Are you hungry or not?”
“Not yet. But I have some stuff to do so I’ll probably want something in a bit.”
My brow raises. “Stuff?”
“Yeah… work stuff.” He shifts in the booth.
I peer down at his book. “And what is it you do for work again?”
“I’m an independent contractor.”
“Hmm…” I rest my hip against the side of the booth. “And what do you ‘contract?’”
“Whatever I’m needed for.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s extremely vague.”
He shrugs. “NDAs.”
A shiver skates its way up my spine and I step back, suddenly on edge around him. His avoidance of actually answering any questions throws me off-kilter, like there are secrets about him that I’m not sure I want to unravel.
“Lily?” Johnny’s voice yells from the back.
I look behind me before glancing at Alex again. “Okay, well let me know if you need anything, friend.”
He jerks his chin and then his attention is gone, his eyes locked on the pages of his paperback.
Saturday afternoons are our busiest times, lots of travelers stopping through, grabbing a bite on their way to somewhere bigger and better. So it isn’t until I have a second to breathe—when my shift is winding down—that I acknowledge Alex is still here, sitting in that same booth, garnering stares from everyone who sees him.
The bell above the door chimes, and I turn toward the noise, wondering who would be here at nine p.m. when we’re about to close. Susan comes whirling in, a wild look in her eye. My heart stops, free-falling to the floor when I see a sleepy Chase in her arms, gripping his stuffed Spider-Man tight. I drop the wet rag from my hand and rush over.
“Susan, what’s wrong?”
“Honey, I’m… I’m so sorry, but my sister’s in the hospital in Phoenix. Some idiot slammed into her, and I’m the closest family she’s got. I tried to call first but Johnny said you were busy, so I’m just here to drop off Chase.”
I nod, tension cinching my gut. “Okay, of course. No problem, thanks for bringing him by. I’m so sorry about your sister.”
She nods, tears lining her eyes as she transfers Chase to my arms and rushes out the door. Chase mumbles, his sleepy eyes opening as he peers up at me. “Mommy?”
I brush my hand across his forehead. “Yeah, baby. I’m here. You’re gonna have to hang out at Mommy’s work for a while okay?”
His bottom lip turns down. “Why?”
“Because Susan had to leave, and you can’t be alone.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so.” I boop his nose.
Chase’s nose crinkles and I glance around, wondering where I can place him while I finish up for the night. My chest pulls tight as my gaze locks on Alex.
His head is angled down, and he seems completely oblivious to what’s going on around him. The thought of putting Chase with him makes me uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as leaving him alone.
Time to swallow some pride.
Chase fidgets, his body wiggling against me until I set him on the ground, grabbing his hand instead as I walk us toward the back booth.
Alex’s head snaps up as we approach, his eyes bouncing between us.
“Hi,” I say.
He runs a hand through his hair, the fluorescent lights glinting off his jewelry.
I sigh. “Can he sit with you?”
Alex’s jaw tightens, and for just a moment, I think he’s going to say no, but then his eyes leave mine and land on Chase’s, and a blinding smile lights up his face. One that catches me off guard and slugs me in the chest.
“Of course,” he says. “I’m lonely over here being ignored by you, anyway.”
“I’m not ignoring you.” I scoff. “I’m working.”
I crouch down in front of Chase. “You’re gonna sit with Mommy’s friend while I finish up, okay? Do you remember asking about him?”
Chase’s eyes trail to Alex and he nods.
“Remember how brave you said you were?”
His fingers tighten on mine as his chest puffs out. “Yeah.”
“That’s right. You’re the bravest boy I’ve ever known.”
“I know.” He beams at me before scrambling into the booth, resting his Spider-Man stuffy on the table and staring at Alex.
“Hi,” he says.
Alex smirks. “Hi back.”
“I’m Chase. I’m thwee and you got cwayon on your skin just like Mommy.”
My chest warms, and I bite back my grin.
Alex glances down at his tattoos and bursts into laughter. “I’m Ma—” He clears his throat. “Uh… Alex. I’m twenty-nine. And you’re right, I do. You wanna see?” He holds out his arms.
Chase’s eyes widen as he nods, leaning over the table. My heart pounds so hard I think it might explode, guilt pumping through my bloodstream. This is one of the first major interactions Chase has ever had with a man. I’ve kept him from all the strong male influences that could have been in his life. But there’s a good reason for it. And I’d do it a thousand times over if it meant saving him from the one man who I hope never knows he exists.