Keeping Score by Cathryn Fox
Rocco
Ilove being here with her, in her world, experiencing life as she knows it. I’m pretty sure I’ve never been so content in my entire life. I glance at her sitting on the dock beside me, her hair tied back, her face free of makeup, fishing rod in hand as our feet dangle over the water.
“Did you fish a lot when you were a kid?”
She turns and smiles at me. My heart beats faster. She’s so goddamn beautiful and every now and then I pinch myself to see if I’m really here with her or if this is just some dream. If it is, I’m not ready to wake up.
“Yeah. Dad always enjoyed it. It was our time together, actually.” She gives me a wink. “I think he might have wanted a son.”
“That’s really nice, Reagan. I’m so glad you have such good memories.”
She reels her line in, and casts it out again, the shiny red lure banging against the bobber before sinking below the surface.
“Do you have any good memories from your childhood?” she asks, her voice low, almost hesitant.
“I don’t really remember my mom. I can’t recall her face, you know. There are times though, when I catch this specific floral scent…” I stop speaking for a second as emotions clog my throat.
Reagan’s hand on mine soothes the demons inside me, gives me the courage to continue. “That scent, and I have no idea what it was…it fills me up.” I laugh. “I’m not saying that right, I know. I’ve never been great with words.”
“You’re great with words. Don’t underestimate yourself.”
I grin. “I think those were happy times for me. There’s a sense of peace that comes over me. I felt loved.”
“That’s nice, Rocco.”
“Yeah. I’m wrong, though. If she loved me, why would she leave me?”
“I don’t know. I wish I could answer that. I guess your dad never told you why.”
“Oh yeah, he did. From the time I could talk, he said it was because of me that she left.”
She winces. “What a horrible thing to say to a boy. You know that can’t be true.”
“I don’t know what’s true, and I’m not even sure I care anymore.”
She goes quiet. We both know I still care. “Postpartum can be very hard on women. Did she have parents to go to?”
“I don’t know that either. She left, and we never heard from her again. My father never talked about me having grandparents. I just assumed I didn’t.” I stare at my bobber, and it disappears into the water. Reagan shrieks and shimmies closer.
“You got one. Give a quick tug and reel it in.” I do as she says, and she watches excitedly as I reel the fish in. “It’s a gorgeous walleye.” She nudges me. “Look at you, and all the beginner’s luck.”
“Not luck, Sunshine. This kid got talent.”
“Yeah, you do,” she agrees playfully, and leans to kiss me on the cheek as I set the squirming trout on the dock.
“Now we take the hook out, and I can teach you to clean it.”
I’m a tough-ass football player, yet as I sit here and look at the fish, the thoughts of killing, and cleaning it, turns my stomach.
“Reagan…”
I lift my head, and find her eyes. I frown. “Maybe we can just take something out of the freezer for dinner.” She stares at me long and hard, so long and hard, I’m sure she’s going to ask me to hand over my man card, and rightfully so. What she does next takes me by surprise, and tests the strength of my heart as it swells inside my chest.
She throws her arms around me, and holds me to her, her grip tight, like she’s never going to let go, never going to go back to the life she was meant to live. I can’t think that way though. She’s not mine. She never will be. Deep inside, I know I’m not good enough for her.
“Can I tell you a secret?” she whispers into my ear.
“Yeah.”
“I never liked killing and cleaning them, either.” She settles on my lap, unhooks the fish and gently puts it back in the lake. She turns back to me and slides her arms around my neck. “I love that you don’t want to do it, either.”
I swear to God, I never felt as close to anyone as I do to Reagan right now. She lightly runs her lips over mine, and her sweet scent fills my senses. “We can see what’s in the freezer, and I can drive to the grocery store down the road to get us some fresh veggies for a salad.”
“I’ll come with you.” I hug her to me. “Actually, I’ll go. You stay here and get to work on your stats assignment, and if you have trouble, I’ll help when I get back.”
She pouts at me and it’s so goddam adorable, it almost makes me take her again, right here on the dock. “You don’t want me to go?”
“You know I do, but you have to get at your stats assignment. You’re not going to fail because of me.”
She groans. “I hate stats.”
“Someday it will come in handy.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Sure, Dad.” I kiss her and laugh. “Do you even know where to find the store?”
“I can figure it out. Just make a list of what you need.”
I push to my feet and help her up and she goes up on her toes and kisses me. “Fine, but don’t be long.”
“You going to miss me, Sunshine?”
“There are wild animals in these woods, Rocco.”
“The only thing wild you have to worry about around here is me.”
She laughs at that. “You might be right.”
We take our rods and head back up to the cottage. Inside, I pull her to me as a strange uneasy feeling mushrooms inside me. I have great gut instincts. I had to in order to survive. Something is off here. Something isn’t right. I just can’t quite put my finger on it.
“You’re okay here alone, right? You were kidding about the wild animals?”
“I’m not afraid.” Her face twists. “Not much, anyway. But I’ll stay inside until you get back. I’ll work on my assignment.”
I hesitate for a second and she puts her hands on my chest. “Let me make that list for you.”
I pick up my phone from the kitchen table. We haven’t used them since we’ve been here. Reception sucks big time. I want mine with me though, in case she needs me for something. She jots a few things down on a piece of paper and reaches for her purse.
“I got this,” I tell her, and for a second she looks like she’s about to protest. Instead she nods and heads to the freezer.
“Steak sound good?”
“Perfect.”
I head out to her car and come to a complete stop. What the hell happened here? “Reagan,” I call out. “Can you come here?”
She comes through the front door, and I point at her flat tire, and that uneasy feeling curls through me again.
“Oh great.” She comes bounding over and groans, her hands on her hips, like she’s in deep thought. “Let me grab my phone, I’ll call our car service.”
I grin at her. “No, I got this.”
She blinks at me. “You can fix a flat?”
I bend down, and run my hand over the tire, until I find the nail. I tug it out. “We picked up a nail.”
She nods, not at all surprised. “Happened to Dad this summer, too. There was some construction on one of the cottages.”
The tightness in my chest loosens. At least someone hadn’t done it on purpose. I shake my head. My mind always goes to the worst-case scenario.
“Dad put a repair kit in my car in case it happened to me, and I couldn’t get cell service.” She snorts. “Not that I’d know how to repair it myself.” I open the back of her car and I’m relieved to see all the equipment I need to repair it.
“It’s time you learned.”
At first, I think she’s going to protest. She doesn’t. Instead she nods, and says, “You’re right. I should know these things.”
That’s my girl.
I nod and keep my smile to myself. This girl is tougher than she even realizes. “You taught me to kayak and fish, now I’m going to teach you some life skills.”
She sidles up to me like a damn sex-kitten, puts her arms around me, and presses her hand to my cock. “That’s not all you’ve taught me.”
My dick swells.
Easy, boy.
I growl to let her know just how much I want her. She always seems to like that. “I plan to teach you more of that, but first this, food, and studying.”
“Killer of fun.”
I laugh at her playfulness. “You’ll be eating those words later, Sunshine.”
“Okay, teach me.”
I grab the jack from the back of the car and show her how to position it and lift the vehicle. Once that’s done, I use the lug wrench to remove the lug nuts.
“That’s not so hard.”
I nod in agreement. “You’re right, it’s not.”
“Are you going to put the spare on?”
“At first I was.” I pull out a plugging tool. “Until I found this.” I grab the plugging tool, and position the plug on the end. “This will plug it, and you’ll be able to ride on it until it’s convenient for you to get a new one. This could hold forever though.”
“Oh, nice.”
“This is a rasp,” I tell her, and shove it into the nail hole to make it round. I push it in and out, until it’s smooth and round. “Now we plug it.” I shove the plug in fast, and when I pull the tool out, the plug stays.
“I’m impressed.”
“You should be,” I tease. “Now see, this is an electric air pump. We hook it up to the auxiliary power source in the dash, and pump up the tire.”
“You’re a man of many talents, my friend.”
I wink at her. “Maybe I’ll teach you to pick a lock someday.”
“You know how?”
“With my eyes closed.” She laughs and I add, “It’s not really something to be proud of.”
“Maybe not, but not many people in my world have the life skills you do. Cochrane...” She winces, and I frown. For a guy we’re not supposed to talk about, she sure brings him up a lot. It shouldn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth. I’m not normally a betting man, but if I was, I’d lay down money on her going back to him after our month. I’m not really privy to parental pressure. Most foster parents didn’t give a fuck what I did, as long as I left them alone so they could collect their check. I won’t judge her choices. I just think she could do better, and I would love to see her take charge of her own life.
I show her where to find the auxiliary power, and she watches as I pump up the tire and check it for leaks. Once done, I pack all the equipment and put it away. I turn to find her smiling at me.
“That’s probably way more important to learn than stats!”
I put my arm around her, drag her in for a kiss. “Nah, you have a car service, remember?”
She waves her hands around. “Not out here.”
“I guess you were lucky you brought me with you, then.”
“Yeah, lucky is the word.” She gives me a sexy grin, and I get exactly what she’s referring to.
I slap her ass. “Get in there and study and I’ll be back soon.”
She pouts and drags her feet as she walks away. I get in the car and start it, waving to her as I head out the long gravel road. I check my phone and drive to the nearest grocery store. I stock up, grabbing real milk for coffee, eggs for breakfast, and once again, that uneasy feeling is back in my stomach as I walk to her car. I check my phone, not that I expect a message from Reagan, not with the shit cell service.
I go a little faster on the way back, wavering around the speed limit. My muscles are tight and ready, and I don’t like the fight or flight reaction I’m having. I drive fast down the gravel road, dust kicking up behind her car, and I slam the brakes on the second I see a very familiar Mustang in her driveway.
“Motherfucker.’
I slam the car into park, and jump from the seat. The driveway is full of dust, a good indication that they just got here. Three guys exit the Mustang, and with arms folded, form a wall—a shaky wall. I recognize them from the rowing team.
“Get out of my way,” I seethe through clenched teeth. One guy shakes a bit, and I’m pretty sure he just pissed his pants. A bang sounds from inside the cottage and I charge, pushing through the guys. “Reagan,” I call out.
Cochrane steps out from the cottage, a cocky grin on his face.
Keep it together, Rocco. Today is not a good day to kill someone.
I try to see past him, but he’s blocking the door. “Where’s Reagan?” I growl, my hands fisted at my sides. I want to punch him in the face, but she’s my first concern at the moment.
“I’m here.” She comes running out, sounding breathless, her eyes big, worried. Her hands are twisted together, and my entire body goes tight.
I swear to God, if he laid one hand on her, he’s a dead man. “Are you okay?” I ask.
She nods at me, but Dick takes a step forward, showing possession as he blocks her from my view and folds his arms. “What she is, is none of your business.”
“How is it your business?” I ask. “After you gave her to me in exchange for payment, and cheated on her, how the fuck is she any of your business?”
He looks past my shoulder and nods. As he starts toward me, I angle my head to see his goons closing the distance. I harden myself, prepare. This is a road I’ve been down before.
“Cochrane, don’t.” Reagan’s voice is full of fear and panic, and it snaps at me—pulls me back to my senses. She grabs Cochrane’s arm to try to stop him. He shrugs her off—doesn’t hurt her. Christ, if he had, he’d be a dead man. I stare at him and all I can see is red.
“Don’t touch her again,” I warn in a calm voice that belies that rage.
Cochrane is about to say something to me. Reagan speaks first. “Please don’t.” Her eyes plead with Cochrane, plead with me, and the beast inside me settles—for her.
No way am I going to have her frightened like this. I need to deescalate this situation and I need to do it now. Not because I’m afraid of an unfair fight. I’ve been in many of them. But because I can’t stand to see Reagan upset. This isn’t fair to her. None of this was fair to her. Not Cochrane using her for payment, nor me moving into her place.
“It’s okay, Reagan.” I try to reassure her in my best calm voice. “Nothing is going to happen here.”
Dick grins, like he’s won the battle, and he might have. I’ll give him this one.
He takes another threatening step toward me, like he’s not going to let this go. He’s a brave man when he has his friends backing him up. I angle my body, prepared, although fighting in front of Reagan is the last thing I want.
“Why are you here?” I ask.
“She wasn’t answering my texts and I figured she might be here. I can’t understand why you’re here.”
“She’s mine for the month. Or did you forget that, Cochrane? Did you forget you gave her to me?”
“I never should have—”
“Too late for that.”
“I’m going to get the money.” He looks at Reagan. “I’ll get the money and fix this.”
I fold my arms. “Until then, she’s all mine.”
His nostrils flare. “She’s not yours…not like that. She’s saving that for me, and I’m going to get her back.”
“Is that why you threw it in her face last night outside of Wolf House?”
I glance at Reagan, waiting for her direction, her guidance. I won’t say anything she doesn’t want me to say. I won’t tell him that she’s already given her most precious possession to me, and make life hard for her.
“He was…helping me with my stats,” she explains quickly.
Cochrane snorts, and his friends all laugh. “What does he know about stats? He won the card game because he cheated.”
I stand my ground. “You and I both know that’s a lie. If anyone cheats, it’s you.” Cochrane hates it. He fucking hates it that I’m smarter than he is. Do I take pleasure in that? It’s quite possible that I do.
“Just go, Cochrane. Please.” Reagan blinks rapidly, and I itch to run to her, to pull her into my arms, but that won’t help anything right now. I need Cochrane gone.
Cochrane glares at me before slowly turning to Reagan. “Not until you agree to come back and talk to me. Let me explain everything.”
She nods quickly, her chin quivering, fat tears right there at the surface. How can Cochrane stand to see her like this? If he cared for her at all, he wouldn’t do this.
“No,” I snap. “We had an agreement. She’s mine, and she doesn’t have to talk to you. Not if she doesn’t want to.”
“She’ll want to.”
“Why don’t we leave that up to her? This isn’t you demanding, this is her deciding.”
He grins and turns to Reagan. “Will you talk to me?”
“Yes,” she complies so quickly, it nearly knocks the wind out of me. “Whatever you want. Just go. I don’t want a fight.”
My heart thumps. Fuck. She didn’t have to agree to that. Not for me. I can take these guys, and if I can’t, I’ll take the beating to save her from having to cave to any of douche bag’s demands. Then again, maybe she wants to talk to him. Maybe it has nothing to do with me. As those old doubts and insecurities rip through me, Cochrane gives a humorless laugh.
“He’s not who you think he is, Reagan.”
“Cochrane, please, just go,” she begs.
“Whatever he’s told you. Whatever he’s said to you. It’s all a lie. He’s a lie. Everything about him is a lie.” His eyes narrow in on Reagan. “Tell me you didn’t fall for any of his bullshit.”
“I…didn’t.”
I clench down on my jaw so hard, I nearly break a bone. I take a small step toward him. A cry rises in Reagan’s throat, and I go still.
Cochrane steps down off the deck and stands directly in front of me. Tension fills the air. “I’ll get the money, and you can go fuck yourself.” His voice is low, threatening, meant for my ears only.
I lower my voice to match his. “A deal is a deal. You gave her to me, and there is no changing the terms now. Keep your fucking money.”
For a second, I think he’s going to throw a punch. Instead, he snarls something under his breath, his body brushes mine as he steps around me, a winning grin on his face. I close my eyes to keep my shit together. I open them to find Reagan staring at me, relief on her face.
“See you later, Reagan. I look forward to our talk. Make it soon, or you’ll be sorry. You both will be.”
The car doors slam shut behind me, and it takes every ounce of strength to hold myself in check. The way Reagan is hugging herself helps me with that. I stand still until they drive away and then I rush up the stairs and pull Reagan into my arms.
“Are you okay?”
“I…don’t think so.”