Keeping Score by Cathryn Fox
Rocco
Istep outside my house, and not even the early evening sun does anything to lift my spirits. Not much can. Fuck, it’s been three days since I lost my girl—although she was never really mine to begin with—and I don’t even have a bike to jump on and go for a ride to clear my messed-up head.
I take a deep breath as cars drive by, horns honking as everyone heads to the football field to watch tonight’s game—that I won’t playing in. Fuck me. I guess I can look on the bright side of things. I get to stay in school, get to finish my education. That’s something. It’s just that none of that feels important if I don’t have the woman I love to share it with.
I pull my keys from my pocket and open the lock on the shed. The second I pull open the doors, my heart falls into my stomach. No. Fucking. Way. Anger floods me. Cochrane destroyed my bike and then took everything from me. Now he’s gone and taken the crumpled bike too.
I stare into the empty shed, and my hands fist at my sides. If I go find him and give him the beating he deserves, the only thing I have left will be taken away from me. Maybe it’s worth it, though. Maybe I was never meant to be anything, to have anything in this life.
I slam the doors shut and the bang reverberates through me. As my teeth rattle, I turn and head down the sidewalk, toward Wolf House. I keep my head down as partiers yell from their vehicles. I’m sure everyone on campus knows I’ve been kicked off the team by now, and I’m sure the rumor mill is doing its magic. What will they say about me this time? Do I even care? Honestly the only one I care about is Reagan. What she thinks matters. But I pushed her away, and in the heat of the moment, she said cruel things about me. Things I deserved after hurting her. But I couldn’t let her get dragged down with me. I’m just glad she saw Cochrane for who he really is, and there will be a better guy out there for her somewhere.
I pick up my pace when the sound of my bike revving reaches my ears. I spin so fast, I nearly do a faceplant. Who the fuck is riding my bike? From the distance, I can only tell it’s two people. A big man on the front, and someone smaller on the back. I stand there as they come closer, and the second I realize who it is, the world goes a little fuzzy.
The bike stops, and Mr. Ellison takes off his helmet and gives me a smile. “She rides nice, son.”
“How…what’s going on?”
Reagan climbs off the bike behind him and my heart hurts when I look at her. I love her so fucking much, all I want to do is run to her, pull her into my arms and tell her everything will be okay. But that’s a big fat lie, now isn’t it, and I really only ever wanted to be honest with her.
“Reagan,” I begin and swallow around the lump in my throat. “What’s…going on?” My gaze goes to my bike. It’s running smoothly, and even the gas tank has been replaced.
“We fixed your bike.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to, and remember you once said to me, who am I to stand in the way of a girl who knows what she wants?”
I nod. “I remember.” Of course, we were talking about sex. I glance at her father, a little uncomfortable. My thoughts should not be going to the bedroom and all the fun things we did while he’s standing there.
As if reading my sudden unease, he smiles at me. “I think I’m going to take in the football game,” he says.
Reagan gives him a hug. “Thanks for all your help, Dad. We’ll meet you there, okay?”
She’ll meet him there. Me, I’m not going anywhere near the field.
“Reagan?” I question when she turns to me. “What’s going on?”
“Dad helped me fix the bike.” She waves toward my ride. “He called in a few favors to get it done quickly.”
“Thanks, but you didn’t—”
“I didn’t mean those things I said,” she blurts out, her eyes wide and worried, her cheeks pink. “You’re not a rat, you’re not trash, I was never slumming, and you do belong here at Kingston.”
I take a breath and let it out slowly. “I’m not mad at you, Reagan.” I’m mad at myself for dragging her into my shit. Then again, I guess Cochrane was responsible for that. I’m just glad I got to spend time with her. Got to know her…touch her. It’s those memories that will help me get through life.
“I said those things to hurt you.”
I nod in understanding. “I know.”
“You hurt me.”
My heart thumps and I pinch my eyes shut. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know.” My eyes fly open. “I once told you, I knew you’d never do anything to hurt me. Purposely, that is. I guess I momentarily forgot that when Cochrane told me you said mean things, and you never denied it.”
“I did say those things.” My gaze moves over her face, waiting for her to react, and when she doesn’t, I continue with, “I was just trying to piss Cochrane off after the card game. He took everything out of context.”
“Why didn’t you defend yourself?”
“Because…because we can’t be together, Reagan.” I step back, working to put physical and emotional distance between us. “Maybe in some fucked up way, I thought if you hated me, it would be easier. I don’t even know if that makes sense. I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m not great with words. I usually let my hands do the talking.”
“Yes, you do, and I like the way they talk.” She takes my hand and puts it on her waist. I quickly tug it away. “Reagan, we can’t.” My gaze goes to my bike. “Wait, how did you get my bike from the shed?”
She gives me a wicked grin. “I learned how to pick a lock from the best.”
A laugh bubbles out of me, and she laughs with me. It eases some of the tension in my body. “I wouldn’t go bragging about that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not brag-worthy.”
“Maybe not, but you are.” She takes a step toward me.
Her sweet scent wraps around me and it takes every ounce of restraint I possess to keep from reaching out to her. “What are you talking about?”
“I had a long talk with my parents.” She glances down for a second. “About…everything.”
I brush my hand over my face, unease inside me. Jesus, if she told her father what I did, the things I said, why would he fix my bike and ride it to me. “You told them about us?”
“Yes, and Cochrane, the card game—”
Panic bursts inside me and the need to run and run and run until I can’t run away from all this anymore pulls at me. “Reagan, you shouldn’t have done that.”
“Then we talked to Cochrane’s parents.”
“Holy fuck. Just go, go be with your dad and pretend you never met me. It’s what’s best for you. You don’t want to get any more involved in this than you are.” I try to back up, but she grabs my arm.
“Involved in what? Getting you back on the team, and outing Cochrane for lying to his father to get back at you…and back at me.”
She pulls me back to her and I stumble. “What the hell?”
“I had a long talk with Miranda. I was so confused at first, I wasn’t able to see through the hurt, but when I calmed down, I asked myself, how can a guy who was so sweet, gentle, caring and considerate, a guy who really cared about my future, play with my heart just to take down his enemy.” I blink at her, my pulse practically climbing out of my throat when she adds, “I came to the conclusion that he can’t.”
“Reagan…you don’t understand.” Wait, did she just say I was back on the team? I shake my head. That doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that she doesn’t get dragged down with me.
“I understand everything. My parents and Cochrane’s parents are best friends, and believe it or not, the Montgomery’s are decent people. Between us all, we put two and two together. Cochrane’s father only knew half the story when he went to the Dean. Cochrane spun him a story and he thought he was doing the right thing. When my father visited his old friend Dean Blakely, and filled him in on the other half of the story, he reinstated you. You’re back on the team, Rocco, and while Cochrane won’t be punished by the college, he has his father to answer to, and that’s enough.”
“Reagan, I can’t believe any of this.”
“It’s true, and during that long talk with my parents, I told them I wanted to switch to the art department.”
“Oh no.”
She laughs. “It’s okay. I showed them my art, and the painting of the ocean through your cave was their favorite.”
“You painted it?”
“Yes, and I want you to have it.”
I’m so touched, I can’t even find words to thank her.
“Thank you for helping me find my way. Now it’s time for you to get back on the path you were meant to be on.” A car goes by and the horn blares. She smiles at me and glances at her phone. “The game is about to start and I’m not sure they can win without their tight end.”
My throat is so tight as tears pound against the back of my eyeballs. Reagan believes in me. In us. “Reagan…I…I love you. I’ve always loved you. The second I saw you freshman year with Cochrane, I loved you.”
She puts her hand on my face. “I know, and that’s why you made sure I got home safely from night classes. The reason you made sure all the other girls on campus got home safely is because of this.” Her hand falls from my face and she places it over my heart. “You pushed me away to protect me. I realize that, and I appreciate it. How could a girl not love a guy who would sacrifice everything for love?”
My heart nearly jumps out of my chest, and I have to ask, because if I’m hallucinating, and she didn’t just tell me she loved me, I might have to destroy something. “You love me?”
She laughs. “Of course I do.”
I pick her up and spin her around, hardly able to believe this is happening. I set her down and brush my thumb over her lip. “You’re not going to be in any trouble, are you?”
“No, but you are if you don’t get this…” She pauses to pinch my ass. “tight end on the field in the next few minutes, you’re going to be in trouble.”
I glance past her shoulders, my heart racing. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me, but if you want to later…” She gives me a wink. “I’ll let you.”
I grin and kiss her again. She breaks it and pushes me. “Get on the bike and get moving. Your gear is already in the locker room, thanks to Alistair.”
“He knew you were up to this?”
“Yeah.”
I grab the helmet her father left on the bike. “I’m going to kill him for not telling me.”
She puts her hand on my cheek and I lean into the softness. “How about not doing that. When it comes to fight or fuck, I’m rooting for the latter.”
I stand there grinning at how far we’ve come together, how lucky I am to have an incredible woman like her in my life. “Now get out there and get a touchdown for me.”
“I will.” I jump on my bike and she kisses me.
“A touchdown for the team, and a touch down there for me, later.” Jokingly, she points downward. “Although I must warn you, I might want two.”
I laugh, a new lightness inside me as love fills my heart, and I let it. “Who am I to stand in the way of a girl who knows what she wants?”
“Go get ‘em, Rocco.”
“I will, Sunshine. I will. Then I’m coming for you.”