C*cky Marquess by Annabelle Anders
Chapter 25
“Here’s my sweet Diana.” Her father lifted her high into the air and began turning around, making her legs and dress lift away as he twirled her. “And where is Princess Collette?”
Diana’s father lowered her to the floor, and she hugged his legs. She and Collette never failed to meet him in the foyer when they heard the familiar sounds of his boots stomping in the entryway. After greeting his two daughters, he’d then turn his attention to their mother. Any occasions when he was able to escape his other responsibilities was a happy one at their cozy home on Farm Street.
“I wasn’t expecting you, Darling.” Their mother stepped into their father’s arms. It was hard not to be proud of such a man, who was strong, charming, and handsome, even if he was a stinky baron.
“You know that I come when I am able, Frances.” Diana had heard the phrase in some form or another more times than she could count. But that didn’t matter today because her father was here now, and they could pretend to be the very real family they were.
But then he reached inside of his coat and withdrew a velvet drawstring purse, coins jingling inside.
“What is that for?” Diana asked, head tilted back.
“To pay my mistress, of course.” The man standing in the foyer wasn’t her father at all but Zeke, outfitted magnificently in maroon breeches and a velvet aubergine jacket and matching silk waistcoat.
And she was not a child, but herself, at Knight House, wearing a cape that matched his jacket. “Where are you going, my lord?” Fully aware that she was a grown woman, she nonetheless felt as inadequate as she had as a child.
He cocked a brow, looking like her marquess but also a complete stranger.
“I must find more light.”
“No!” Diana reached out, but her hands came up empty. She tried to move but was underwater, and when she stared up, she felt herself floating down into the darkness… down… down.
“No!”It was her own voice that woke her up, and she sat up in her bed, her body trembling. This was not the first dream she’d had about her father, but it was the first that had included Zeke.
And no wonder, after all that had happened in the Ravensdale’s Garden.
Honestly, she was surprised she’d managed to sleep at all.
She had been so close to accepting him—to thinking anything was possible. She’d wanted reassurances from him.
She groaned and buried her face under her pillow. She’d naively hoped he could convince her that she was wrong—address her concerns in that rational way he had.
She’d hoped he’d share some infinite wisdom and rally the confidence she needed to entertain his proposal. But, instead, he’d gone and done just the opposite.
Never, in her entire life, had she been so livid. So angry.
“All your mother had was the delusion that a man who paid for her services loved her.”
She’d never felt so hurt.
Recalling his words pierced her all over again. He’d known her insecurities surrounding her parents’ relationship, and still, he’d used them against her.
Diana rolled out from beneath the pillow to stare up at the ceiling in the filtered light of early morning.
Before that, she’d been satiated from his lovemaking, euphoric from being with him. She’d felt her resolve begin to weaken.
She had been seriously considering accepting him.
Until he’d gone and shattered her heart.
“The delusion that a man who paid for her services loved her.”
Diana hugged her arms in front of her.
Her dream had been a warning. She was out of her depths with him: the water—the light.
She would never be enough. He would tire of her and take a mistress, and she would forever feel as though she’d betrayed who she really was.
Diana would go from being the object of his passion to that millstone around his neck, just like Lady Chaswick had been to her father—a responsibility that was also his wife.
She rubbed her hands along her arms.
Knowing what she must do, Diana rose and dressed in her oldest gown before Bethany’s maid arrived with her morning chocolate. Careful to be quiet, Diana tiptoed around her chamber, jotted out a quick note so Collette would know where she’d gone, scooped a few items into her reticule, and donned an ugly grey bonnet. Then, holding her breath, she slipped outside before Collette awakened and insisted on joining her again.
Or, before Collette tried stopping her from going at all.
Her sister’s doubts were the very last thing Diana needed today. It wasn’t as though she didn’t have her own misgivings.
She steeled her resolve and straightened her shoulders. If she didn’t do something to take control of her future now, she might very well lose her resolve completely and either accept Zeke’s proposal or convince him to take her on as a mistress.
In the first instance, this would eventually be devastating for her, and in the second, it would be devastating for her brother.
So, with no companion, but quite determined to establish herself at the Theater, Diana slipped outside to take the same route she and Collette had taken the day before.
Just as she’d discovered that walking alone in the darkness to Knight House was a frightening endeavor; even though it was daylight, covering the distance to where the hackneys ran—without Collette—had her feeling nearly as vulnerable.
And she only managed to convince a driver to stop by practically throwing herself into the road. Would getting back and forth from Chaswick’s house to the theater become more manageable with experience? Diana huddled in the corner of the conveyance and scrunched her nose, wondering if the driver ever bothered to clean it.
She would eventually move out of her brother’s house altogether and not have to cover the distance at all. She couldn’t very well be traveling around London by herself late at night.
She hadn’t considered that.
Furthermore, she couldn’t regularly traipse back and forth from the theatre to the home of a baron. In the eyes of the ton, her employment would be a disgrace to Chase and Bethany.
And she refused to disgrace two of the people she loved most in the world.
Why did life have to be so complicated?
She sighed as she stared out the window where strangers rushed along the street impatiently. This side of town featured all walks of life; vendors, a few gentlemen, some tired-looking ladies, and children that looked as though they hadn’t met a bath their entire life.
Most appeared relatively harmless, but a few of the older fellows appeared ominous indeed.
By the time the driver delivered her to the theatre, she wished she’d brought Collette along.
Only, she couldn’t depend on Collette forever. Nor ought she to remain a burden to Chase and Bethany. Being a dependent relative was only slightly less appealing than being resented as a millstone of a wife.
Diana fortified herself with a deep breath and then marched around to the back where she and Collette had gone together the day before. Feeling the stare of wary gazes, she entered through the same entrance and managed to extract begrudging directions to Mr. Whitman’s office. Bracing herself, she carefully stepped through the shadows, over ropes, and around large wooden cutouts with scenes painted on them that ought to be exciting but instead made her skin go cold.
Her unease grew when, as she moved in the direction she’d been told, echoes of an argument grew louder. By the time she arrived and paused outside the office, the shouting all but shook the floor. And although she was going to have to draw their attention to her presence eventually, she huddled behind the door waiting for the argument to abate. Much better to be invisible for now.
Which was easy enough at first, but when her nose began itching from the ubiquitous dust, a series of sneezes betrayed her, and most unfortunately, drew their attention to her presence.
“Are you lost?” Those gruff tones were almost enough to send her running. And perhaps would have if Claudette hadn’t appeared behind her.
“You returned, no?” She pulled Diana out of the shadows so that she was standing in the door opening. “This mademoiselle—this lady,” The French woman emphasized the word. “Is seeking employment.”
