Lost and Found Family by Jennifer Ryan

Sarah walked into the kitchen loaded down with groceries. The boys headed upstairs, grumpy they didn’t get to go back to Luke’s this afternoon because she had to work.

Margaret walked into the kitchen, her face drawn in worry lines. “You’re back.”

Sarah tucked the vegetables and meat into the refrigerator. “I picked up some of that vanilla bean ice cream you like.” As peace offerings went, ice cream was a good one in her mind.

“Thank you.”

Sarah turned to face Margaret, surprised by the lack of hostility and taken aback by the gratitude. “You’re welcome. You should sit down. Rest.”

Margaret’s whole body slumped with fatigue. “I admit, my arthritis and our earlier . . . reckoning kind of took everything out of me.”

“I hoped to find an easier way for us to . . . leave the past behind.”

“I’m still trying to not feel the way I’ve felt about you and reconcile who I thought Sean was with the man you describe.”

“Take your time. I know it was a lot to take in. I’m sure you’ll have questions. In the meantime, know that I’m not here for any other reason than to build a relationship between you and the boys.”

“I appreciate that. And I should have told you how happy it made me that you brought them.”

“I’ve loved watching them with you, and you with them.”

“I spend a lot of time with Sophia. I feel like I really know her. Now, I feel as if I know the boys, too.”

“That’s all I want for them and you. And to show my goodwill, I took care of a couple of things for you. On the way to the store, I called the gardening service I used when I arrived. They’ll be by tomorrow to do the yard, then routine cleaning once a week. I also found a reputable housekeeping service. They’ll be here every other Wednesday.”

“Why? After the way I’ve treated you, why are you helping me?”

“Because you didn’t know. Because you loved Sean and grieved him the way I couldn’t but a mother should.”

Sarah sighed with that difficult admission, letting her battered heart settle after letting go of that hard truth. “Because now that you know, I hope we can be the family Jack and Nick deserve.” Holding on to the secrets had become a burden. Without them hanging over her head, she felt lighter. Her heart didn’t feel so heavy.

Except she hadn’t told Margaret everything. “There’s still more to tell about Sean.”

Margaret held Sarah’s forearm. “I think I’ve heard all I can take for one day.” Margaret squeezed her arm, released her, and took a seat at the breakfast table. “It’s hard to hear that my son turned into my ex-husband. And I became the dreadful mother-in-law, blaming you for all of Sean’s unhappiness. I know better than anyone it takes two people to hold a marriage together. One can’t do it alone. And only hearing one side of the story means you don’t know the whole truth.”

“He’s your son. You took his side. I don’t blame you for that.”

“You should. I deserve it.” Margaret held Sarah’s gaze. “I wish you’d said something sooner.”

In her grief, Margaret hadn’t been ready to hear it.

And Sarah had been so engrossed in the boys’ grief, the trouble with the company, and her own anger and resentment, she wouldn’t have been able to be kind in the way she told Margaret.

Not that today went great, but time and distance had at least allowed Margaret to hear what she had to say. “Sean made sure you didn’t know what was really going on. Away from here, and you, he didn’t care what anyone thought about his actions. He flaunted his bad behavior. Truthfully, I just wanted out before the boys really started to understand what was happening.”

“And you made sure they only saw the good in him.”

“I didn’t want to break their hearts, and then Sean died, and I just figured they didn’t need to know everything.”

“And that’s also why you didn’t say anything to me.”

Sarah appreciated that Margaret understood. “Why shatter your image of him? I really had no idea he’d been telling you and Bridget a completely different story than the one we lived until it was too late. I hoped, over time—”

“I’d come to my senses and move forward for the boys’ sake.”

“I understood your grief. I knew most of your anger came from the fact that Sean died so young and would miss so much of the boys’ lives and you wanted to blame someone for that.”

“I wanted there to be a good reason for what happened. But the truth is, his death was senseless and preventable. He shouldn’t have gotten behind the wheel in his condition.” Margaret’s eyes narrowed. “What really upset him that night? The divorce? Not being with his children all the time? Or you leaving the company?”

“I think you know the answer to that.” Sarah didn’t want to say it out loud.

“Did he ever love you and the boys?” A spark of hope lit Margaret’s eyes.

Sarah obliterated it with another jagged piece of the puzzle. “Sean found someone else to love.”

Margaret stared out the window for a long moment. A single tear rolled down her pale cheek. “I see.”

“Sean did some terrible things, but he wasn’t all bad.” While Sarah still had a lot of unresolved anger, even if she had done her best to move on, she defended Sean for his mother’s sake. As unfair as her mother-in-law had been, she knew it was a lot for the older woman to take in.

“Thank you for saying that, but I see now that I didn’t really know him. I guess that happens when your children grow up and have lives of their own. I wish we’d been closer.” Margaret’s head tilted. “Then again, if I’d known what he was doing, we’d have probably been at odds when he died because I wouldn’t have kept my opinion to myself about his behavior.”

“I know it’s difficult right now, but I hope you’ll find a way to hold on to the good memories and not let what you know now overshadow them.”

“Have you been able to do that?”

“Depends on the day,” Sarah admitted.

“That’s about as much truth as I can take right now.” Margaret pushed up from her seat with a wince.

“Margaret, now that you know about the money, call your doctor. Get checked out and make your health a priority. If you’re going to have lots more visits with the boys, you’ll need your stamina.” Sarah smiled, hoping it eased Margaret’s heart and mind to know that she would make an effort to bring the boys more often.

“I’ll go call right now. Then I think I’ll take a little time to sort out my thoughts and feelings and . . .” Margaret stared out the window again. “I don’t know what to do with all this.”

“Try to work on letting it go,” Sarah suggested. “Don’t pour your energy into something that can’t be changed. Focus on your relationship with the boys. They’re the best part of Sean. They’re here. They need you.”

“I imagine they helped you get through everything after Sean passed.”

“They are the most important thing in my life.”

“And what about Luke? He said he asked you to move in with him.”

“That’s a bit complicated.” But Sarah’s heart leaped at the thought of being with Luke all the time. They just needed to figure out the logistics because she and the boys loved the home they’d made. It was close to her work. And while she could work remotely sometimes, she was still needed in the office.

They’d have to figure out a compromise between here and there.

“Maybe it’s time to make your life less complicated and enjoy the happiness you’ve found with him.” A lopsided frown tilted Margaret’s lips. “You probably don’t want advice from me, but I wish I’d appreciated more the good things the men in my life brought me than always focusing on inconsequential things I used to drive a wedge between us. I know you’ve put everything into the business, but don’t let work keep you from having what you really want. What really matters.”

Sarah felt that way when she and Sean were together. He wanted her to work harder. She wanted to be a mother and make a happy family with him. Yes, she got a great deal of satisfaction from her job, but she found deeper meaning in being a mom. It filled that hole in her, her childhood had left after everyone related to her either abandoned, betrayed, or died on her.

Margaret pressed her lips tight. “If Luke makes you happy, then I’m happy for both of you. For what it’s worth.”

Sarah wanted to say it didn’t matter. But it touched her that after all the anger and resentment Margaret heaped on her, she now wished her well.

“Thank you, Margaret.” She hesitated, then spoke her fear. “I hope Luke’s family feels the same.”

Margaret’s gaze fell to the floor, then met hers again. “They’re going to love you because they’ll see what I denied all this time. You’re strong and resilient, a good mother, kind, caring, and thoughtful. And when you love, you make the time to show that to the people in your life.” Margaret surprised her with a hug. “Thank you for taking care of me. I appreciate it more than I can say.”

Sarah gently squeezed Margaret. “I only did what I thought was right.”

Margaret stepped back and grinned. “Even if you didn’t think I deserved it.”

Sarah tilted her head. “Well, you didn’t. But I hoped, someday, we’d end up here.”

“For the boys,” Margaret added. “I’m sorry it took me so long to do right by them. And you.”

“You needed to grieve.”

“And I’ll be doing it again now that I know about Sean. It’s hard to let go of the life I thought he was living and the one I wanted for him.”

Sarah understood that all too well, because while she’d been upset that her children lost their father, she’d grieved harder for the loss of the dream life she thought she’d have with Sean and their boys than she had for the man himself.

“Go. Rest. There’s plenty of time before dinner.”

“And let me guess, you have some work to do.” This time there was no reproach in Margaret’s words, just understanding that Sarah had responsibilities.

“Yes.”

Margaret nodded in acknowledgment and headed out of the kitchen for her room.

Sarah put away the last of the groceries, checked on the boys, and settled in front of her laptops to get some work done.

It took her a few minutes to settle in. She worried about what Bridget would have to say and feel about the brother she also didn’t see for who he really was and adored just as much as Margaret had.

Disillusioning them made her heart ache.

She blamed Sean for yet another thing he left for her to clean up.

Her phone dinged with a text. She sighed and picked it up, bracing for yet another request for her to do something.

And just like that, her whole mood changed and her heart filled with love and anticipation. She couldn’t wait to see Luke. And meeting his family seemed like a small thing if it meant she and Luke took another step toward her dream of a future she’d thought would never look like what she wanted but now felt very close to coming true.