Lost and Found Family by Jennifer Ryan

Margaret believed Sarah had taken her son away. She thought Sarah was a terrible wife and mother. She thought Sarah kept Sean and the boys from her. She blamed her for Sean’s death.

And because of all that, she wanted to punish Sarah for everything.

But Sarah wasn’t the one to blame. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

At this point, she didn’t think she could convince Margaret of that no matter how hard she tried.

Back in college, Sarah believed Sean wanted to make a life with her. He loved her.

Or so he’d said.

But life doesn’t always work out the way you hope.

People aren’t always what they seem.

And what Sean said was not always what he did.

Her marriage to Sean turned sour long before his death, because the Sean she thought she loved was just an illusion.

He didn’t want her or a family. So she’d tried to be mom and dad to the boys long before Sean’s death.

She worked hard to give them everything they needed.

Thanks to her, they would never know a day of desperation for food, shelter, or love. Not the way she did growing up.

Jack leaned forward in his car seat and tapped her shoulder. “Mama, will Grandma remember us?”

“Of course. She can’t wait to see you.”

“Will we be able to watch TV and play in Grandma’s yard? Does she have a swing? What about a slide?” Jack liked to ask a lot of questions. And apparently he already missed his things at home.

Sarah took the left onto Carmel Valley Road. Her stomach tied into a knot as they drew closer to Margaret’s home and six weeks of what was sure to be torment. “I’m sure you can watch TV and play in the yard, but I don’t know if there’s a swing. If I remember right, Grandma’s property backs up to a horse ranch, so maybe we’ll see some of the horses.” She thought fondly of the ranch she’d transformed after her horrible time growing up there. Her private getaway—that she never got away to because of work.

Still, it was there waiting for her when she needed it.

“I’ve never seen a horse.” Nick frowned, despite the excitement in his eyes.

“Maybe we’ll get to see lots of new things on this adventure.” She hoped with all her heart this trip would be good for the boys and not bring up sad memories.

Both boys went back to watching their tablets. She used the time to settle her heart and mind. She reminded herself that no matter what had happened between her and Sean, he had given her the greatest gifts in her life. Jack and Nick were her world and her greatest accomplishments.

She followed the GPS directions. It had been a while since she’d been to her mother-in-law’s home. A wedding gift from Margaret’s third husband. Custom built on six acres with a grove of trees surrounding it. Of course, husband number three hadn’t lasted long and Margaret retained the house in the divorce settlement. She said he loved that house and there was no way she was going to let him have it. After all, he owed her.

For what, Sarah didn’t know. It seemed he ended the marriage simply because he and Margaret didn’t have enough in common to hold it together when they bickered all the time.

At least he wasn’t as bad as her second husband, a workaholic who sometimes liked to drink a little too much and turned out to be a mean drunk. Sean had actually really liked him because he taught Sean a lot about business when Sean worked for him in the office during his high school summers. The guy also bribed Sean and Bridget with gifts so they’d forgive the epic shouting matches he had with Margaret.

Margaret had Sean and Bridget with her first husband, who had an affair when the kids were young and Margaret was trying to be a good wife and mother to two rambunctious little ones. Sean remembered his father fondly as the guy who showed up on weekends in expensive sports cars and lavished him with extravagant gifts and always had a beautiful woman in his life, though they never stayed long. His dad passed young, when Sean was in his first year at college. He died in a tragic boat fire while on a scuba diving trip.

Sean grew up to be a lot like how he described his dad. Then he died young, too.

Three failed marriages and two children who turned out to be self-centered had left Margaret unfulfilled and unhappy.

Sarah couldn’t change the past. She couldn’t bring Sean back. But she could try to make this visit as pleasant as possible for her kids’ sake. So she vowed to be herself during this visit and not let Margaret get to her.

At least, she’d try.

She wound her way down several back roads and finally reached her mother-in-law’s magnificent tree-lined driveway. The leaves shown in beautiful golds and reds. Fall was Sarah’s favorite time of year. The white house with dark green shutters flanking large windows came into view. The huge porch wrapped around the first floor. French doors opened onto the second-story balcony, providing wonderful views and a quiet place to sit in the rocking chairs and relax.

As she drew closer, she noticed the whole place had a weathered and neglected feel. The paint was peeling, the gardens were overgrown, the lawns had gone to weed, and the drive needed to be re-graveled.

Margaret had always been particular about the appearance of her home.

Sarah almost thought she had the wrong place until she parked in the drive and noticed Margaret sitting on the porch with a visitor. The other person remained hidden in the shadows, but she couldn’t help but see Margaret’s frown.

She glanced in the rearview mirror. Sure enough, the boys had fallen asleep. She exited the car and waved. “Hello, Margaret.”

“You’re late. Where are the boys?” Margaret’s sharp, clipped words grated.

Not even a hello. “Asleep in back.” Sarah opened Jack’s door and woke him with a gentle rub on his chest.

“Mama, are we there yet?” Jack rubbed at his eyes.

“Yes, honey. Let’s go see Grandma.”

Sarah turned around and Jack climbed onto her back. Sarah went to the other passenger door, opened it, and gently woke Nick.

Nick opened his big green eyes, and as he did upon waking most days told her, “Daddy played with me while I slept.”

Sarah’s throat clogged, as it always did. She brushed her son’s golden hair away from his brow, gave him a smile, and said, “Daddy will come back and play when you go to sleep tonight. Wanna see Grandma?”

Nick nodded.

She set Jack on the ground beside her, then hooked her hands under Nick’s arms and lifted him from his seat and held him close.

Sarah walked toward Margaret with her getting-heavier-by-the-day load and Jack right beside her with his little arm wrapped around her leg. The guest stepped out of the shadows to the porch railing and leaned against the post, staring down at her. She wished he’d remained hidden. Tall, handsome, he conveyed strength and confidence in his worn boots, faded jeans, and chambray work shirt. He was made to draw a woman’s eye with that gorgeous face and wide shoulders, and she found herself staring for a moment before she caught herself and realized the unfamiliar sensation running through her was attraction.

She couldn’t remember the last time a man made her feel any kind of personal interest.

Sarah guessed he probably worked at the nearby horse ranch. His intense gaze studied her. Margaret had probably already given him an earful about her no-good daughter-in-law, and Sarah’s initial interest quickly faded because he probably already thought she was a gold-digging bitch.

She glanced back to Margaret, noticing for the first time the sixty-four-year-old woman’s small frame seemed a bit frail, her complexion pale. Her graying blond hair had been cut short into a simple, sleek style. Margaret held her hands clasped so tightly, her knuckles had turned white. They appeared swollen.

Sarah knew all too well grief and pain could wear a person down. Maybe that’s what she saw in Margaret as the older woman carefully placed each foot on the treads as she made her way down the steps to them. Her gaze locked on Jack, who had Sarah’s same dark hair and brown eyes. He’d grown a lot over the past two years. Margaret noted the differences with surprise in her eyes.

Sarah sympathized. Time went by way too fast and her boys were growing up and changing with every passing day.

Nick lifted his face from her neck and Margaret gasped at the sight of him. While Jack took after her, Nick looked just like Sean. Blond hair, a beautiful soft face with his father’s light coloring, the same mouth, slender build, and piercing green eyes.

Margaret blinked tears away. Her stoic exterior showed a tiny crack but Margaret pulled herself together and hid her true emotions again.

It couldn’t be easy for her to see how much the boys had changed over the last two years and face the reminder that life went on, even when you still grieved. And let resentments hold you back.

Jack ran the short distance to Margaret. She opened her arms to him and cuddled and kissed him on the head, then immediately produced a chocolate candy. Jack snatched it and gave her a warm, sweet smile.

Margaret cupped Jack’s face in her hand. “You’ve grown at least six inches since I saw you last. You’ll be tall, like your father.”

“Mama says she’s going to stop feeding me because I’m almost as big as her.” Jack’s serious tone made it seem like Sarah had meant it.

“Well, not to worry, Grandma will feed you bunches and you’ll be an inch taller by the time you go home.”

“Can I watch TV? I want to watch cartoons.” Sarah’s boy was obsessed with TV, which meant she had to make him earn it. At home, homework and chores came first.

“Later, Jack. Let’s get settled first and spend time with Grandma.”

Margaret’s gaze drifted to Nick, still in Sarah’s arms, playing with her hair. Something he always did. She cherished every stroke he made down her hair to the middle of her back.

Sarah took the initiative and closed the distance to Margaret, so she could get a better look at him. “Honey, do you remember Grandma? Please say hello.”

“Hi.” Her shy guy spoke softly, then whispered in her ear.

Sarah whispered back and Nick smiled. She looked right into Margaret’s eyes and told her what Nick said. “Nick would like to know if he can have a candy, too. He also wants you to know that his daddy said he misses you.”

Margaret gasped. She recovered quickly, hiding the shock in her eyes. “Of course you can have a candy, Nick.”

Sarah set Nick down and stretched her aching back. It often hurt because she was always carrying the boys. They wouldn’t be little for long and she tried hard to enjoy these moments and not take them for granted.

Nick received his candy and smiled with a mix of happiness and wariness. Margaret looked over the boys’ heads and eyed Sarah up and down, obviously finding her lacking, before she scooted the boys up the steps. “Go find the cookies on the counter in the kitchen.”

Sarah didn’t like the boys having so many goodies right before dinner, but she held her tongue, not wanting to start off on the wrong foot.

Once the boys cleared the front door, Margaret turned on her. “How dare you say that their father misses me! You have some nerve coming here and speaking of Sean as if he’s still alive.” Margaret shook with anger and grief.

She obviously didn’t intend to be civil.

Sarah had vowed to remain calm no matter what. She would not argue with Margaret or engage in any kind of yelling or verbal sparring. She’d had enough with people yelling when she was growing up and didn’t raise her voice unless absolutely necessary. The boys deserved to know their grandmother, and she was going to make sure they got the opportunity. “Nick asked me to tell you that.”

“He needs to understand Sean isn’t coming back. The doctor told you that two years ago when Nick was having nightmares,” Margaret challenged.

Sarah took a slow breath to calm her rising ire. She had seen Jack and Nick through their tears and grief. She had finally gotten them to accept their father’s death, though they did so in different ways.

Jack always wanted to hear stories about Sean. Every night at bedtime, Sarah told him one of her memories. He especially liked the stories that included Jack and his father together. It made Sean real to both the boys, whose memories of their dad faded a little more each day.

Nick’s acceptance had taken longer. Even though he was younger and everyone thought he would forget his father, that wasn’t the case. Nick began having dreams about his dad immediately after Sean’s death. At first, Nick woke up scared and confused and wondered why his father wasn’t home. The doctor told Sarah not to encourage him, but to coax him to accept Sean wasn’t coming back. Even so young, Nick seemed to understand his father was gone, but couldn’t reconcile why he saw him on their nightly adventures.

Sarah took another approach and encouraged Nick to talk about his escapades with his dad. She told him how special it was that he could see his dad in his dreams.

Nick found comfort in seeing his dad in that way. As time passed, he accepted his father could only come at night and his grief subsided.

Sarah looked at Margaret and very quietly stated, “Nick doesn’t have nightmares. I encourage him to talk about Sean whenever he wants. To Nick, his daddy is alive somewhere and plays with him in his dreams. I will not allow you, or anyone else, to make him feel that it’s wrong in any way. The doctor and everyone else said he would forget Sean. I don’t want that, and neither should you. So, if he says that his father told him he misses you, then you can believe it. Nick believes it.”

Margaret pressed a hand to her chest, the flood of emotions reflected in her eyes, making her breath unsteady. “He looks just like Sean. More now than when he was a baby. I miss Sean, too.”

Sarah almost hadn’t heard the last sentence. She took another slow breath. “I know you don’t want me here. But I brought your grandsons to see you and spend time with you in hopes that we could put the past behind us.”

Margaret’s eyes narrowed. “Never. You took Sean from me, but you won’t keep the boys from me anymore.” Margaret dismissed her with a glare and slowly went back up the stairs. She excused herself from her guest and made her goodbyes before going inside.

Sarah didn’t even rate an introduction because she wasn’t important.

She would always be the one who kept Sean away, and now the boys.

She didn’t do it on purpose. Life had to go on, and she had to provide a good life for her sons, which left very little time for herself.

She was beginning to see that her responsibilities were wearing her down. She could seriously use a nap and a few days alone with nothing to do.

Wishful thinking.

Sarah stared up at the house, wondering what she had gotten herself into, completely aware of Margaret’s guest’s penetrating gaze and the temptation building inside her to look at him and take in again the imposing but intriguing man.