Pleasures of the Night by Heather Boyd

Chapter 21

At last, the carriage rolled to a stop before another in a long line of splendid posting houses. Teddy’s backside could use the release of getting out and walking about. Even though their long journey of togetherness was almost at an end, he would be grateful when it was over. He’d had quite enough of playing brother, too.

Even though he might have to give her up.

Forever.

Teddy did not think he could anymore.

He helped Eugenia from the carriage, concerned by her soft moan. She’d kept up a brave face over the last days of their journey, but she couldn’t hide her worry from him.

Even though they’d been traveling at reckless speed, reaching Dover was taking longer than he’d anticipated. The more time spent in her company, the harder he thought their separation would be in the end. Yet he wished to stay with her to know what her future might be…and therefore his, as well. Hopefully, before Wharton found them together.

The innkeeper welcomed them like long-lost friends, directing them inside to a private parlor where they could refresh themselves.

Eugenia declined the invitation. “I should like to stretch my legs first, sir. Could you point me toward a pretty vista? I feel the need for a long walk.”

“You go that way past the cobbler’s and then turn left until you see the river. The mill is a pretty spot for a lady to walk to and not far at all.”

“Thank you,” she murmured and turned away.

Teddy quickly paid for their lodgings, paying above normal charges to ensure Eugenia’s comfort, and sent his men and carriage off to be stabled for the night.

Although not invited to go with her, Teddy hurried to follow Eugenia. He did not know this village, and a lady alone on the cusp of nightfall might not remain unmolested by unsavory characters.

He caught up with her just as the river came into view.

She turned that way with a heavy sigh.

He tried to catch a glimpse of her face, but her bonnet shielded her from his view. “Are you sad again?”

“I cannot seem to help it. Tomorrow seems so far away still.”

“We’ve made excellent time today, but the men need rest before we can go on.”

“I do understand,” she promised. “And I apologize for my impatience. I don’t mean to be demanding or ungrateful.”

She could have taken the mail coach, he supposed, and been there already. Bruised, battered and alone. Wharton might have expected that. Their slower journey, with stops each night, added to his anxiety. He forced himself not to appear worried, though. Being caught together was the least of her concerns. Teddy caught her hand and wound her arm through his. “Try not to think about tomorrow.”

“There’s nothing to distract me here.” She looked about the little village. “This place reminds me too much of where I grew up.”

“Mine, too.” He pointed upward to a nearby empty hill. “That could almost be where my father’s home still stands.”

“Who lives there now?”

“I’ve not the faintest idea. I’ve always found looking back difficult, so I have not returned.”

“That’s all I seem to do now. Look back, doubt, and wish I haven’t had my life turned inside out and upside down,” she said and then sucked in a breath. “Do you see that small cottage far down the road? My brother’s home was placed in a similar situation. I ran everywhere as a girl, from one end of the village to the other, and always arrived with my hair a mess.”

“I like it when your hair is in disorder from my hands running through it,” he whispered. He laughed at himself. Still flirting, even knowing he shouldn’t. He looked for something else to talk about. “I had a pony as a boy, at least until my father sold it to pay off one of his debtors.”

“He was in a bad way? Financially?”

He raked his hand through his hair. “He wasted money trying to impress people, to seem more important than he was, wasted his life waiting for something that would never be his.”

“Do you feel that way too?”

“No. Never,” he promised. “The duke allows me to come and go and learn from him. I’m grateful for his patience and the sharing of his vast knowledge. I couldn’t imagine how I’d get on if I was denied his confidences. I’d be floundering for years, and the estate and tenants would likely suffer. And let’s not imagine what might have happened should I have sat in the House of Lords unprepared.”

“Inheritances can cause all sorts of trouble in a family,” she murmured. “You are lucky to have such a peaceful existence.”

“Hmm, that is true. I am on good terms with Sinclair’s nephew and niece and their spouses, but Sinclair’s main concern is that we’ll fall out if he lives too long.”

“How ridiculous.”

“Not to him, though I try always to reassure him,” Teddy shook his head. “He sees how it goes in other families where sons wait impatiently for their turn, and their wives whisper suspicions and schemes to speed a father’s demise or curry favor with rivals into their ears. My father couldn’t wait to claim the title.”

She clucked her tongue. “If there is anything I know for a fact about you, it is that you’d never marry someone so shallow or mean-spirited toward your cousin.”

“I’ll try not to.” Teddy studied Eugenia. She would not resent Sinclair if he continued to live as duke for a very long and happy time to come. But many ladies married with an eye on the next title their future husbands would inherit. At present, he hadn’t a title. He remembered Lady Fuller very clearly as she lamented that he’d never possess a title until Sinclair passed away, and then asked after his health in the next breath. But titles were important markers of status and influenced precedence in so many things. A duke’s daughter, used to leading most women at a dinner, would not easily come last because she’d chosen to take a mere mister for a husband—even if they had a bright future.

They paused by the river, and they both inhaled deeply. The view was lovely and soothing. The wind kicked up and tugged on loose tendrils of Eugenia’s hair, blowing them about and making her seem ethereal in the failing light of day.

He could lose her to another man—a situation he found ever more intolerable as the days wore on.

He put his hand on her upper back, and she slid sideways into his arms to be embraced. They were good together—a perfect fit in attitude and background.

If only it were possible to remain together when all was said and done.

If not for Bagshaw’s untimely arrival, he might have proposed to Eugenia already.

He glanced down, startled, at the woman in his arms and drew her closer against him. Letting the new idea that had come to him settle in his mind. Eugenia had said she loved him, and he’d not wanted to think of that before. He’d fallen for her, too. Would they have been happily married?

He imagined they might have been.

But with her having a husband in London, he’d never know now.

He released her slowly, cursing that fate might yet rip Eugenia from his life. Yes, he might marry her if he could. But that decision was yet another thing that must wait for tomorrow.

By mutual agreement, they walked slowly back to the inn side by side. An arm’s length apart. There they would pose as brother and sister again for another evening, dining together, and then retire to their respective rooms alone until dawn.

He absolutely resented his displacement, but what could he do?

Nothing.

At the inn, the innkeeper’s wife bobbed a curtsy and gushed over Eugenia’s pretty pelisse and shawl as she took them from her, promising to take them straight up to Eugenia’s room.

“The dining room is ready if you are at all peckish.”

Eugenia glanced sideways at him. “I am indeed.”

Teddy heard the longing in her voice and stiffened…everywhere.

He quickly removed his hat from his head and placed it strategically before his groin. Certain phrases and looks from Eugenia seemed always destined to torture him. He was fairly sure she didn’t do it deliberately though.

He followed her into the dining room and requested a pot of tea for Eugenia and ale for himself. He could have gone to the taproom, and he might still.

The first night’s stay of their journey had been hard, and he expected to miss her even more this evening when they went their separate ways. They had spent the entire journey talking and getting to know each other. So much more than might have been shared if he was ever to openly court her.

For instance, she abhorred dogs but loved sheep. On a farm, such as the duke possessed, there were plenty of both. When he had mentioned that, she’d claimed to have perfected shepherding without the use of dogs. That was something that could never have been uttered in polite society.

Since separation was still a few hours away, he decided to seek her counsel about a matter that was very much on his mind of late. And he suspected she might like the distraction of a subject quite removed from her own situation, too.

“I wonder if I might appeal to you for an opinion on a situation I find myself in, sister dear,” he murmured after the maid laid out tea and ale on the dining table.

“I can try,” she promised, pouring herself a cup, sugaring, and adding cream.

He took a sip of his ale and discovered it quite good. “I am glad for the changes in my life. I never would have amounted to very much if the duke hadn’t found me.” He sighed. “And because of my improved situation, I am able to do good for others now, too.”

She nodded approvingly. “Which charities do you patronize most?”

“Not a great many yet, but my first was a family.”

Her brow lifted in surprise, and she set her cup down. “Oh.”

“Last year, I happened upon a group of children begging on the street.”

“Homeless orphans are everywhere in London,” she murmured.

“Very nearly every street corner or square,” he agreed. “In this case, their mother was gravely ill, and my heart was touched by their desperate plight. I began to support them while ensuring she recovered, and continue doing so to this day.”

Eugenia frowned. “Has she been unwell all this time?”

“She promises to be improving upon each visit.”

Her brow furrowed even more. “How often do you visit her and the children?”

“I try to call every week, but that is not always possible with the demands on my time. They have servants and a house, etcetera, that I pay for.”

“It is quite a commitment for a bachelor to take on a widow and her children.” She paused and searched his face. “Forgive me for being blunt, but how committed to the woman are you?”

“Not in any way that affects us,” he promised. “She is an ill woman and has no one else to help her. The children are a little rowdy at times, as all siblings can be, I understand, but utterly delightful. Smart and well-mannered usually to me. I’m determined not to let the family sink into poverty. I’ll see to the boys’ education, the girls’ too, and clothe them all.”

“I do hope the lady is suitably grateful,” she said finally with a wide smile. “There are not many who would do half so much for their own family. You are most unusual in that.”

“Perhaps it is the fault of not having siblings of my own. We are of a similar age. Sophie always tells me she appreciates my support and looks forward to my next visit very much.”

“Sophie? Not Mrs.” Her brow arched at his informality.

“I address her as Mrs. Darling usually. I only used Sophie for you. I assure you, nothing improper is going on between us and never will.”

Eugenia mulled that over. “Hmm, if you give too much attention to the lady you are aware it might give rise to an expectation in the poor woman that she can always rely upon you. Forever.”

“Nonsense.”

“Then, in what way might I offer an opinion on the situation?”

He moved to sit closer to Eugenia. “I wondered how to gently broach the subject of her future without her feeling like I want to be rid of her. Making a second marriage will afford her a level of protection she currently lacks, and that I cannot forever offer.”

“You do not need to make all her decisions, Thaddeus. She’ll marry when she’s asked, when she is feeling stronger. Have you considered that she’d have to go out to meet a suitor and be introduced to them by mutual acquaintances? Does she have many good friends, people of her class, who could do that for her?”

“I’m not sure. She did mention a friend had taken the children out for air the last time I saw her.” He bit his lip. “I never thought to enquire about her other friendships when she’s always so ill.”

“Perhaps that is where you ought to start if you feel she has improved, thanks to your aid. You don’t have to support her all of her life, or her children, either, to ensure they prosper. But it is good of you to worry about her so much. Many would have turned away from so desperate a family after the initial fear for her life was in the past.”

Teddy brushed aside her praise. He’d done what he’d considered right at the time. Helping a family out of compassion for the children’s likely suffering was a goodness his cousin had teased him about too. But he would do it again in a heartbeat and likely would many times over in the years to come. He threw a shy smile her way. “You called me by my first name just now.”

“You use mine all the time without ever having to ask my leave,” she teased. “Do you not like your full name?”

“I like everything of mine on your lips,” he said without thought, then rolled his eyes at himself for starting up a flirtation yet again. He kept falling into that trap on their journey. They both did, and both of them took pains to try to act as if they hadn’t afterward. It was deucedly wearying, but he might have a need to stick a pin in his tongue to keep it under control around her in the future. He sighed in exasperation. “It seems natural to speak plainly with you, along with so many other things we’ve done together.”

She nodded. “I’ve become a corrupting influence on a very proper gentleman. Who would have thought it possible that the Duke of Exeter’s heir could have his head turned by a spinster?”

“A widow and a wildflower,” he corrected softly, “I’ve loved every moment of your wicked little heart’s cravings.” He stood, strode to the window, and leaned against the frame, pretending to be interested in the view. But it was no good. He turned to find her watching him, as he always wanted her to. Gods, this was sheer torture, ending things with her. “I wish only you to know my deepest secrets, and if I had my way, I’d want you to corrupt me forever,” he whispered.

She laughed dismissively at his suggestion, but he was entirely in earnest. If he had a chance, he would marry Eugenia. But he might not be granted that wish tomorrow.

If she was married, he had to leave her alone.

Because there was a maid expected to return with dinner, Teddy excused himself to confirm all was in order with their rooms above in the inn, and then he’d check on the men, horses, and carriage in the stables, too. Anything to distract himself from thinking of the future he might miss out on with Eugenia.

His chamber was a narrow room at the top of the staircase, but he’d requested the largest room for Eugenia, which was supposed to be next to his.

He took the stairs two at a time and found his door easily enough. His luggage had already arrived. One of his grooms was acting as valet again tonight, and was lurking about the fire. A maid from the inn was supposed to be available to Eugenia whenever she had need of one.

He spied a connecting door between the chambers and frowned at it. That was something he’d not considered might exist in this inn. The innkeeper at the last inn had set their rooms farther apart than just one door. He went to the doorway, tested the door handle, and found it locked.

That relieved him.

His valet paused in the act of turning back his bedding. “If you want the key to that door, sir, I warn you it connects to Mrs. Smith’s chamber. You’ll have to apply to her to let you in.”

“No. I won’t need the key tonight.” Best not to give in to temptation now. So far, he’d acted honorably and left her alone at night. But they still had miles to travel tomorrow before he found out if he could resume their affair, or whether he really had to let the woman he loved more each day go back to her husband.