Out of Character by Annabeth Albert

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jasper

My phone dinged with a message as soon as I let myself into my room after work, and I didn’t have to look to know who it was. I miss your room.

Because your roommates trashed your place?Jaw tight, I typed fast. I was still all kinds of mixed up where Milo was concerned, even more so after our awkward parting. I’d had that moment in the parking lot when I’d gazed deep into his eyes and I’d seen uncertainty. Like peering into a murky crystal ball and seeing the shadow of a guy who didn’t quite believe he was worthy.

He might be trying to change, but he was also scared to death of the possible consequences of those changes. And that made it hard to trust that any changes he made would stick. Which Milo was he going to be long-term? My best friend or the guy who ghosted on me when I needed him? Frustrating as all of that was, however, he was also the guy who had held me all night long, the one who made treasure hunting fun, and the one I couldn’t wait to see again. Not surprisingly, my heart still thumped when a reply came in.

Well, that and your room has *you*

So you miss me?I wasn’t above making him say it, and I took way more satisfaction in the three dots that said he was replying than I should have.

So much. Is that cool to say? We left things kinda…He’d added an emoji of a guy with question marks over his head. My fault?

I exhaled hard and flopped onto my bed, coat and all. It was actually made, for once, Milo having somehow accomplished that even in the rush of getting dressed. It wasn’t his fault that I’d had a minor freak-out at the realization that I might be heading for heartbreak with someone unable to give me what I needed. I’d been so happy to find the card, but resignation had come fast on the heels of the initial rush. If he couldn’t tell Bruno that he’d messed up with the cards, was he ever going to come out to anyone else who mattered to him? It was one thing to sneak a few kisses in quiet spaces, and another to decide to live fully and openly. To be the sort of boyfriend I craved, the one I could trust with my heart.

We’re cool.I lied because as much as I was twisted up over him, I also wasn’t about to end this or to be the kind of guy who gave him an ultimatum simply because we’d shared some incredible hours together. My pillow still smelled like his shampoo, and my head danced with all the good moments of the last twenty-four hours. My gut might say we needed to have a serious talk, but my heart wanted to give him space to arrive at the same scary, wonderful place as me.

Good.His one-word reply would have further frustrated me, but he’d added an image. And my breath hung up on my rapidly expanding heart. It was him. Not a goofy selfie, but a cartoon-style drawing. Same sporty haircut, same winter coat, and a text bubble that said “I’m sorry.”

Boom.Forget hoping I wasn’t falling too hard for him. No, I was falling soft, landing in a vat of cotton candy, all sticky and sweet.

Thanks. Cute drawing.My heart wanted to say so much more, but my gut was still working itself out.

Milo’s reply came fast. I should have kissed you goodbye. Been thinking about that all afternoon. Another missed chance.

Sad Milo was back, and he wormed his way past my pitiful attempts to protect myself. There will be more chances.

That earned me a happy-face emoji. Soon?

I laughed aloud to my empty room. It felt smaller and colder without him in it. Wednesday after cosplay?

I owe you pizza.

I replied with a smiley face of my own. Wanna have it in my room?

There was a longish pause, but the wait was worth it because cartoon Milo was back, this time with heart eyes. I touched my phone, like that might bring him here sooner.

It’s a date.I started counting down the hours as soon as I sent the text, knew I’d be angling to see him even before that. I had it bad, and that was a huge problem. I should know better than to give Milo Lionetti extra chances, but here we were, and hell if I could pull back now.

* * *

“Looking good, Neptune.” I gave Milo an exaggerated once-over as I emerged from my stall in the men’s room at the children’s hospital Wednesday. He looked damn good in his toga, perhaps more so now that I knew exactly what he had under there. I could preach how superficial looks were all day long, but there was no denying Milo’s attractiveness.

“That’s Prince Neptune to you.” He nodded, expression all haughty and regal. Last night, he’d drawn cartoon Milo in the toga, and his chin had exactly that same tilt.

“Oh, is that how you want to play this?” I gently poked him in the chest. We were alone in the restroom, and I’d missed him for three days now. I’d earned a little flirtation.

“Maybe.” His mouth quirked like he knew exactly how my thoughts kept flitting to images of that toga on the floor.

“Remember that later.” I made him silent promises with my eyes that I fully intended to make good on. Three days with a lot of texting and an hours-long phone conversation last night had done nothing to quash my desire for him. I needed a Milo fix and soon.

“Counting on it.” His warm smile said that I wasn’t the only one with a craving, and he stroked a broad finger down the side of my face before dropping his hand.

“Let’s go find the others before I’m tempted to do something impulsive.”

“Like this?” He stole my breath with a fast kiss. Sure, we were alone, but this was also a far cry from lost in the basement stacks in the library.

“Exactly like that.” I beamed at him while contemplating the wisdom of yanking him back into a stall for a much more thorough kiss.

Undoubtedly reading my mind, Milo gave an exaggerated regretful sigh. “Better lead me to my kingdom.”

“Dork.” I bumped shoulders with him as we made our way out of the restroom and toward the waiting area where we were meeting everyone else as usual.

“You love it.”

“Yeah.” I did love this light and easy place we’d found ourselves, but the mere mention of the l-word had my muscles tensing. And I didn’t have time to dwell on why that was, not with Kellan already coming over to greet us. He had a new costume, this one an elf druid. While I appreciated the artistry, he looked a bit like a hairy green beetle. I hid a smile by rearranging my bags.

“Hey, my dudes.” Kellan had a big smile and hearty handshake for Milo, who had apparently earned his favor on Saturday night. “Tell me about the hunt.”

“It was a success.” Milo’s unabashed happiness made my shoulders lift even before he added, “Jasper is brilliant.”

“You weren’t so bad yourself.” My tone was way too fond, but I was too happy to keep it cool.

“You guys are ador—”

“Made it.” April came rushing up, and all of a sudden, I cared way more about my tone. April and my mom didn’t need to hear Milo and me being overly friendly or see Kellan teasing us about it.

“Okay, let’s go.” I hurried us along the corridor before any other banter could lead to uncomfortable questions and teasing. As it was, I felt my mom’s eyes on the back of my head. I’d been avoiding her for days because I wasn’t ready for a lecture but also didn’t want to outright lie about how I was spending my time these days. I was an adult and I needed some space to sort out my own thoughts about Milo without her overprotectiveness entering into an already complex equation.

“Hey, Jasper.” Natalie, the attendant, welcomed us to the lounge as we got set up. I carried the deck bag to the back table, not terribly surprised when my mom followed me. I was asking her about her day while unzipping the bag when Milo came over, his mouth a thin white line.

“There’s no Chase.” His whisper was urgent and stricken. “Did he…”

“Let me find out.” I patted his arm before I could think better of it, and I didn’t miss my mom’s raised eyebrow.

“Do you know what happened with Chase?” I asked Natalie, who was nearby, helping a little girl navigate with an IV on a pole. This wouldn’t be the first time we’d lost a patient who was a regular. Loss was a part of this gig, and I remained profoundly grateful that April was still with us. I mentally crossed everything I had that Chase was okay.

“Discharged.” Mercifully, Natalie had a wide smile for me. “He finished this latest course of treatment and was strong enough to send home.”

“Thank goodness.” I had to briefly shut my eyes against my sudden wave of emotions. I turned to return to Milo, but he was right behind me, eyes shining. Damn. He really did care.

“Do you have the drawing you did for them?” I asked him.

“Yeah.” Glancing around, he withdrew a folder from his backpack. His reluctance to hand it over to me was palpable, especially since we had more of an audience than I’d thought. Still, though, I couldn’t resist opening the folder. The full drawing he’d done from his previous sketch was nothing short of stunning.

“Oh, let me see.” Natalie peered over my arm, and my mom along with a few others had wandered over too. Milo was turning ten shades of pink with all the attention, but everyone was murmuring well-deserved praise for him. I wanted him to believe in his talent even half as much I did.

“That’s so beautiful. Could you do one for us?” The mom of the girl with the IV had tears in her eyes. “I can pay.”

“I don’t need money,” Milo said even though he probably did. He pulled out a bigger sketchbook than his usual pocket one and a case with some pencils. “I could work on it while she plays the game with someone, if that’s okay?”

“Totally.” My whole body buzzed with pride in Milo, warmth spreading outward from my chest.

“I can’t wait.” The mom followed Milo and the girl to a table with Kellan, who was already setting up for a game.

“Can you get this to Chase’s family?” I asked my mom as I carefully put the drawing back in its folder.

“Yes, of course.” She sounded distracted, and her gaze was locked on Milo who was deep in concentration, pencil flying over his sketchbook while the girl laughed at something Kellan said. “I had no idea he was that talented. His mother never mentioned it.”

“She might not know.” I said the words lightly, without thinking, as per my usual, and it was no surprise when my mom’s mouth pursed. She’d always been excellent at reading between the lines.

“Any other secrets he’s hiding?” Her voice was as dry as August grass and about as much of a fire hazard.

“Uh…” I took far too long answering and could see the complicated calculations happening in her head.

“I see.”

“The mom gossip network doesn’t need more info for their alert.” I tried to pass it off as a joke, but she didn’t so much as smile.

“Jasper.” The way she said my name all serious and slightly disappointed had me grabbing my cards in a hurry.

“I better find someone to play with.”

“You do that. Someone new.” She drummed her fingers against the folder. This wasn’t going to be the last I heard about this topic for sure. She wanted to protect me from hurt, and hell, so did I. But I also wasn’t turning down this reprieve from a lecture, and I quickly found a patient waiting for a game. I’d seen the boy here several weeks ago, and he was back for another round of treatments and tests. He gave me a good game, slapping down cards and doing an excellent job of keeping my mind off my mom.

“Look at all these happy faces.” Ned from the hospital foundation came into the lounge right as I lost to the kid.

“How’s it going?” I asked as Ned came over to my table.

“I’ve got tickets for you for Friday night.” He took out a thick envelope and handed it to me. “Anyone need an extra ticket for a plus one?”

“Nah. I think we’re good.” That earned me a very pointed look from my mom, but whatever. There was only one person I wanted as a date, no matter how ill-advised that might be.

“We’ll be there,” Kellan added, looking up from his table as Milo and the girl also glanced our way.

“Good. We have some very big donors coming. It’s going to be such fun! Can’t wait to see all the funny costumes.” Ned laughed, all jovial and friendly, but Milo’s face turned stony at the remark. Discomfort radiated off him as he returned to his drawing.

Which turned out amazing, the little girl as a mighty superheroine, big cape and a sword and shield. But Milo still wasn’t happy as he accepted the praise from the girl’s mother and others nearby as we all got ready to go.

“He didn’t mean funny like laugh-at-people funny,” I said to Milo in a low voice as I packed up the decks.

“I know.” Milo didn’t sound too sure and didn’t meet my eyes either. “Can I go ahead and get changed?”

“Sure. We still on for pizza?”

“You know it.” He smiled but the rest of his expression stayed flat, no sparkle. “Think your mom will actually send the drawing to Chase?”

She and April were already gone because she needed to do a conference call before dinner.

“It’ll probably be in the mail tomorrow. She always follows through.”

“She doesn’t like me.” Milo stretched, rolling his neck from side to side. I wanted to rub it, but the room was still half-full.

“She… It’s complicated.”

“I get it. I screwed up. I was terrible to you and a lot of other people in high school. Guess I can’t outrun that.” His shoulders slumped and he looked away.

“Yes, you can.” I risked grabbing his shoulder anyway because I couldn’t stand seeing him this down. “I believe a person can change. God knows I’m not the same person I was in high school either.”

“I’ve noticed.” He faked a heated look, but my ego knew the difference between false praise and the genuine desire he’d shown me this weekend.

“Good.” I held on to his arm so that he couldn’t ignore what I was saying. “But my point is, screw what other people think. Including my mom. Just keep proving them wrong. I believe in you.”

“Thanks. You… That means everything.”

“Everyone deserves a second chance.” I hoped like hell that he didn’t test that belief of mine. He met my gaze, expression deadly serious, almost as if he were starving for someone to believe in him, and there was nothing I wouldn’t offer him in that moment, fresh chance to break my heart included.