War and Roses by Kat Baxter

Chapter 10

Jacob

I'm not sure how much time has passed since I got here when I hear the click of the door. Bethany walks into the room and promptly steps on the note I put on the floor. The paper crinkles under her steps.

"What the hell?" she mutters.

That note, the one that starts it all says, "I love you because..."

She steps further into the room and slips off her shoes before she realizes I'm sitting in the armchair across from her.

She shrieks and jumps. "Shit! Jacob, you scared the pee out of me."

I cock a brow. "Literally?"

She rolls her eyes. "Shut up." It's then that she sees the Post-it notes stuck to nearly every surface in the room. She plucks the one off the wall to her right and then the one on the TV.

"What are you doing here? How did you even find me?" Then her eyes squeeze shut. "Maggie. I'm gonna kill her."

I haven't moved from the chair yet. I'm just sitting and watching her. Probably smiling like a fool too because this woman just lights me up. She's sweet and feisty and so passionate.

"We're going to talk, you and me," I tell her. "But first, you have to find all of the notes."

Her cheeks tighten and she rolls her lips inward, clearly fighting a smile.

Then she moves about the hotel room, finding all the bright pink notes. I stuck them all over; the mirror in the bathroom, the beach scape artwork, the desk, the night stand, the pillows, and so forth.

She sits on the edge of the bed, stack of notes in her hand.

I point at them. "Read them."

She starts, moving through the stickies.

"Out loud," I tell her.

Her frustration comes out in a long exhale. "You're smart," she says. That note goes to the back of the pile. "You're hilarious."

She goes through each one, her voice becoming shaky as she reads. “Kind, giving, everything I've ever wanted, the woman of my dreams, my future, the love of my life.”

I walk over to her and sit next to her. I swipe the tears from her cheeks. "Did you really think you could ghost me with a silly note? After we made love like that?"

She blows out a breath. "I don't want to do this right now." She comes to her feet and tries to pull away from me.

I grip her arms and pull her closer so she stands between my thighs. She's so short that we're practically eye-level now.

"Don't want to do what, sweetheart?"

"Jacob, this isn't, I'm not..." She shakes her head as her words fade.

I don't miss the fresh tears shining in her pretty blue eyes as she turns away from me.

"The only thing I need to know is, do you love me?" I ask.

She whips around to face me, her eyes wide and full of liquid.

"If you don't—I hold up my hands in surrender—"just tell me and I'll walk away. But you have to look me in my face and say the words."

She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. Instead, more tears silently slip down her cheeks.

"I know you can't say it because you're not a liar." I turn her back to me and wipe her cheeks. I cup that sweet face that I love so much. "Oh, my beautiful girl, I know you're hiding something from me. Don't be afraid to share your truth with me. I promise it's not going to change anything."

She closes her eyes and then slowly unbuttons her shirt, from the bottom up. Then she unties the thin wisp of fabric tied around her neck and lets that fall so she's standing in front of me in a pretty pink front-clasp bra.

An angry, puffy scar mars the skin between her breasts.

I run my finger over it, then trace the entire length of it.

"How many surgeries?" I ask.

"Three. The last one when I was twenty-three. A full transplant." Her eyes are still squeezed shut.

I've still got my hand on her, my fingers lightly brushing over the puckered skin. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Finally, those ocean blue eyes are on mine. "I didn't think we'd ever meet, so I didn't think it would matter. You told me once that you were a career soldier. So I just figured we'd continue to write each other and that would be enough for me."

I shake my head. "I never intended to retire. Until you. You made me unsettled. Made me want more. So much more." I'm trying not to stare at her breasts because, holy shit, they're gorgeous. But that's not what we're discussing right now. But I am a guy and tits! I run a knuckle down her scar. "You thought this would make me change my mind?"

She tries to re-button her shirt, but I still her hand. Instead, I take off mine.

Her lips quirk. "I'm not sure how you being shirtless is supposed to make me feel better." She exhales slowly as she sits next to me.

"My ex. We were together for a long time. We met in high school, and I thought he'd love me forever. He stuck with me through so many things. All the times I couldn't do things because my heart wasn't strong enough for walks that long or whatever. He was endlessly patient. And then I got a brand-new heart. Suddenly, I wasn't this vulnerable, needy girl anymore. I could go out and walk on the beach. I didn't have to stay home and let him wait on me."

She frowns and shakes her head. "I still don't understand what happened. I'm not sad about it anymore because I realize now that our relationship--at least for him--wasn't healthy. He liked me sick. Maybe because I needed him? I don't know. And it doesn't matter."

"And you're healthy now?"

"Yeah. I mean, I probably shouldn't go skydiving or anything. And I have to take a cocktail of immunosuppressants for the rest of my life to ward off my body rejecting the donor heart."

I grab her hand and thread our fingers together. "You know so many of my buddies came back with life-altering injuries. I was one of the lucky ones. Sure, I've been shot twice and had a few other injuries, but nothing I couldn't come back from. But I have friends that came home without limbs, with head injuries so bad they'll never be able to care for themselves again."

"Jacob, I'm so sorry."

I shake my head. "That's not why I'm telling you that. It sucks for them, but what I want to know is, would you have changed your mind about me if I'd come home with one of those injuries? Would you care if it was me, instead of you, who bore that scar?"

"Of course not."

"Then why don't I get the same chance?" I cup her cheek. "Bethany, I love you. I'm in love with you. You're it for me. I love this scar because it's a part of you and it means you're healthy and you're still here with me." I lean forward and press a kiss to the puckered skin.

She releases a half sob. "Are you sure?"

"Sweetheart." I bring her palm to the front of my pants where my erection is doing its best to break free from my pants. "Does this feel like I have any qualms about your scar? Your gorgeous tits have been out and I'm hard as s fucking rock."

She gives me a watery laugh. “And you'll never change your mind?"

The question nearly breaks my heart in half. "No, Bethany, I'll never change my mind. Remember when I told you I was a lifer?"

She nods.

"I never wanted to leave, never even considered leaving the Army until you. I walked away from a job that I loved, that I was good at, because I want to be with you. I want a family, whether that's kids or dogs or whatever."

"I love you," she whispers.

"Don't ever hide from me. Not again. Promise?"

"I promise."

"Now, I'm going to make love to you the way I wanted to last night. Nothing between us, no secrets."

She loops her arms around my neck, and I bend to kiss her. Every time our lips touch, I'm reminded that this--us--is a miracle. We're magic together.

Her tongue slides across my lips and I open to her, slanting my mouth across hers and deepening our kiss. I love the feel of her naked back against my palms, but I want more. Want to feel all of her.

I pull her closer, so I can feel her bare breasts against my chest. Nothing has ever felt more right.

I kiss her neck, then nip across her collarbone and down her scar. Then I taste each nipple, flicking my tongue against the hard nubs. She arches up into my mouth.

"These gorgeous girls have been deprived, just waiting for me to give them some love."

"Yes," she hisses.

I pull away briefly to look her in the eyes. "You're beautiful. Never doubt that."

She nods.

Then I fall to my knees and work at the fastenings of her pants. I lean forward and kiss her thighs and knees. When I've got her completely naked, I pat the mattress behind her.

"Up on the bed and spread your legs."

She immediately does as she's told, and she's spread out in front of me like a goddamn treat. And I'm so damn hard, it'll be a miracle if I don't come all over myself while eating her. The musky scent of her arousal makes me growl as I slide my arms under her legs and bring her glistening pussy to my mouth.

Her hands find their way to my head. My hair is still Army short, so she can't thread her fingers through it, but the graze of her nails across my scalp gives me chills.

"Jacob," she whispers my name.

I circle her clit with my tongue, then slide two fingers inside her slick channel. I reach up with the other hand and cup her right tit. She bucks against my mouth. But I keep my rhythm steady.

She's chanting my name now and I feel like a fucking rockstar making my girl feel so good.

"I'm going to come," she says. Then she does, all over my tongue and fingers, my name on her lips.

When she's come down from her pleasure, I scoot her further onto the bed.

"Are you on the pill?" I ask.

She nods.

"I'm clean," I say. "We had to get tested regularly. And I haven't been with anyone besides you, last night, in over two years."

"I'm clean too. I want you bare inside me."

"I love you, Bethany. I'm going to make you my wife, and then I'm going to fill your belly with my babies."

She smiles and my heart damn near explodes.

"I love you too. Now fuck me already."

"Yeah, sweetheart, I'll fuck you." I slide inside her. "But you know whether I go rough or tender, we're always making love. It's never just fucking."

She wraps her arms and legs around me. "Yeah, baby, I know."

"Baby?"

"Can I give you a pet name? You call me sweetheart."

"I like ‘baby.’” I move then, thrusting in and out until she's clinging to me and screaming my name as her wet channel milks me dry.