Voyeur by Candace Wondrak

Chapter Seven – Zoey

 

 

I could not believe my luck. Not even a little. I mean, really, my luck sucked ass. No offense to Lake, because he was sweet, but it seemed like I ran into him way too much. That, or he was always waiting around, hoping to run into me. Which, now that I was thinking about it, I wouldn’t put past him.

It’d been four days since I agreed to be Roman’s, whatever the hell that meant. All I knew was he left a generous tip with Autumn after our session together, and I was off for the next few days. Didn’t work until Tuesday, which left me with a lot of time on my hands. So, since I had my rent taken care of for the next month, along with the utility bills, I decided it was time to do the one thing all adults seemed to hate doing: grocery shopping.

It was made even harder due to the fact I didn’t have a car or a little metal cart I could roll with me as I went, so I really only ended up buying a few bags of things. Better than nothing, though.

Anyway, back to Lake, who was somehow standing in the lobby, getting his mail when I arrived back at the apartment building. There was a moving truck outside with some furniture in it—I was not in the know when it came to my neighbors or anyone who lived in the building besides Crystal, so I had no clue whose it was.

Lake’s lean figure was hunched over as he looked through his mail, but he perked up the minute he saw me walk through the glass door, grinning boyishly, two huge dimples appearing on his cheeks.

Yeah, okay, couple those dimples with his bright blue eyes and blonde hair and he was devastatingly cute. So cute I caught myself wondering, just for the quickest of seconds, what it would be like to let him take me out on a date, as he’d been dying to do ever since I moved in.

Would he try to kiss me? Would he be all shy and awkward? I couldn’t imagine him being any other way, honestly. With the way he rambled, I couldn’t imagine a date with him being anything less than full of his awkwardness.

Bryan had never been awkward. Even before we started dating in high school, he’d been the confident one, the one who had both sports and his classes handled. Lake could not have been the furthest from Bryan, but still, my ability to differentiate them—to admit to myself that maybe Lake wouldn’t hurt me like Bryan had—was nowhere to be seen right now.

“Hi,” Lake spoke, flashing his perfectly white and straight teeth, a smile for the ages. It was as if, the moment I walked in, he forgot all about his mail. “Imagine seeing you here.”

“Yeah,” I said, “totally crazy.” I hated that I felt like I couldn’t trust Lake; he honestly seemed like a good guy, but I’d been down that road before. I used to think my little sister was a good person, too—and look at where that got me. Fooled, made to be an idiot in front of my entire family.

Lake could not be happier as he bounced to my side. “Going up?” He held onto his mail, but his blue gaze was on me, all on me. The world could turn to ash around us, and I didn’t think Lake would notice.

“Oh, no. I actually forgot something at the store, so I’m going back.”

“Really?”

“No,” I said. “I’m joking.” Hmm. Maybe I needed to work on my sarcasm. Or maybe I was just being a bitch without realizing it. Either way, Lake should get the hint and just leave me be; things would be so much simpler that way.

Lake accompanied me to the elevator, hitting the up button. “You know, if you ever need me to take you anywhere, I’m more than able to—as long as I’m here and not in class or working.” The grin he gave me then was so sheepish, it was unbearably cute.

Nice guys did exist out there, somewhere. It was just difficult for me to trust my judgment when it came to guys after what happened. I did not like being made a fool of.

I smiled at him. A real smile. “I appreciate that, Lake. Thank you.” The elevator door opened, and we both stepped on. As it closed and Lake hit our floor button, I added, “But really, it’s okay. You don’t need to look out for me. I’m a big girl. I can handle myself in this cruel world.”

“Sure, I mean, I know you can. You seem to have it all under control,” Lake said. “But I’ve always thought life is better when you don’t have to do it alone.” He shrugged, as if he hadn’t just spoken something profoundly deep. “What fun is life when you try to do everything yourself? If someone could help make things easier on you, why not let them?”

I stared at him. “Why do you want to make things easier on me? You don’t know me.” If I had my way, no one here would know me. I’d just be a face they saw in passing, the girl they made fun of behind closed doors for her peculiar choice of hair color.

“I don’t know,” Lake spoke as the doors opened to our floor. We stepped out, but neither of us headed to our apartments; we stood just outside the elevator, and as its door closed behind us, he gave me a look that made my heart ache. “You just seem like you need someone, but you don’t want to admit it.”

Was it written on my face? Did my eyes scream help me, I’m lost? I didn’t know how to respond to Lake for the longest while—but, as it turned out, it was a good thing I didn’t, because during my stalling, I happened to glance over to my apartment door.

It was open, and a dolly sat just outside the door.

“What the hell?” I spoke, heading straight to my apartment.

Lake was just as confused as I was, and he walked with me. We both peeked into the studio apartment, finding that two huge guys were currently in the process of rearranging my bedroom area.

And by rearranging, I meant they brought up new furniture, and even a new mattress.

“Uh,” Lake whispered, neither of us stepping inside my apartment, “do you know those guys? They were not in there when I went downstairs to check the mail—either I zoned out, or they work really fast.”

“No, I don’t,” I said, manning up and walking inside. I could tell Lake didn’t want to come in with me, the two beefy guys made him uncomfortable, but he didn’t want to leave me alone with strangers who had somehow gotten into my apartment when I wasn’t home.

It wasn’t like I had a fake-looking rock sitting in the hallway with an extra key. First off, this was an apartment building, and those stupid things only worked for houses. Second off, no one knew I lived here, besides Lake and Crystal. Who in the world…

I set my groceries down in the kitchen area, causing both burly guys to look at me. “Who the hell are you guys?” I asked, figuring we’d better get straight to the point here.

Neither guy said anything; they were both about a foot taller than me and riddled with tattoos. They looked like the kind of guys you’d see in a dark alleyway, the kind of guys you’d instantly turn around and hurry away from.

Yeah, it was a good thing Lake was here, just in case.

One of the men reached into his pocket, pulling out a small envelope. As the other man finished setting up the bed frame and lowering the new mattress onto it—a real mattress, not a cheap air mattress like the one I had before. My original stuff was nowhere to be seen—he walked over to me, handing it to me without saying a single word.

The man working on the bed harrumphed, “We got more to go.” He and his partner vanished the next moment, taking the dolly with them as they went.

I watched them go, growing more confused as the seconds ticked on.

“That was weird,” Lake muttered. “Normally when people get furniture deliveries, they’re aware of it. They pay for it. You know, the usual—”

I tuned out his rambling as I tore into the envelope, pulling out the small, handwritten notecard stuffed inside. Written in thick black ink, as if the words were drawn with a quill and not a pen, it said: Here’s to us. On the bottom, it was signed with the letter R, nothing else.

One guess as to who R was.

Lake leaned over my shoulder, trying to read the note, but I held it against my chest, turning to him with a puzzled expression. “Well? What did it say? Who’s it from? Don’t keep me waiting in suspense.”

Roman, but I wasn’t about to tell Lake that, because then I’d have to explain who Roman was, how I’d met him—which would then lead me to telling him where I worked, which I did not want to do. Not that I was ashamed of working at the Dollhouse, I wasn’t, but for whatever reason, I just didn’t want Lake to know. I wanted to keep Lake separate from that life for as long as I could. Maybe a part of me feared that he would no longer want to spend time with me, no longer be so kind to me, if he knew everything there was to know about me.

And my arrangement with Roman, whatever the hell you could call it. Me agreeing to be his. Funny, because I did not recall ever telling Roman where I lived or even hinting that I needed furniture in my place; somehow all this shit had miraculously shown up on its own, like he’d done his own digging into my life and decided I needed this stuff anyway.

“My parents,” I muttered, lying through my teeth. I thought I sounded believable, but then again, I was never really a liar. That crown belonged to Willow and Bryan, not me. “They must’ve found me.”

His voice lowered, and he glanced over his shoulder to make sure we were alone before saying, “Did you not want them to find you?” Even though it was stupid, it sounded like he really cared about what my answer would be.

“No,” I said, catching myself, “I mean, yes? Ugh, I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my hair, crumpling up the note and tossing it in the garbage can near the fridge.

If Roman would go this far, out of the blue, what else would he do? Would he have cameras installed in my place just to make sure I was behaving right? I agreed to be his, but that didn’t mean he could control my whole damned life. I didn’t run from one gilded cage to be caught in another, you know?

Even if Roman’s cage came with cocks aplenty.

Lake must’ve set his mail down, for the next moment I felt his hand gingerly touch my upper arm, and I turned to meet his gaze. “If there’s anything I can do,” he said, pausing when the guys reappeared, carrying a huge, brand-new flat-screen TV, still in the box, “just let me know.” He peered around the guys, getting sidetracked a bit. “Is that seventy-five inches?”

A chuckle made its way out of my throat before I could stop it, and Lake glanced back to me.

“Right, uh, I mean—”

“It’s fine,” I said. “Do you want to stay with me while these guys finish up?”

Lake still looked guilty for getting excited about the size of the television set, and he muttered, “You sure you don’t want to send any of this back? I’m sure these guys would—”

The bigger of the two turned toward us, shaking his head once. “Are you crazy? You don’t return a gift from—”

I stepped between them, cutting in quickly, “Yeah, yeah. I know. Don’t worry, I’m not returning any of it. Just hurry it up so I can make dinner, will you?” Thank God, the two beefy guys nodded and got back to work.

Lake scratched the back of his neck, looking just as awkward as I felt after that whole thing. This day was not turning out how I thought it would; not at all, but that shouldn’t be a surprise. And I chose to assume surprises like this would become commonplace as long as I was Roman’s… whatever I was. His.

His belonging. His body. His obsession. Seriously, I had no idea what it was about me that made that man obsess over me, but it was kind of nice, being wanted.

This, though? This was a little overboard, wasn’t it?

“You want to stay for dinner?” I asked Lake. I didn’t have a table or any place for two people to sit yet, but I bet those guys had more in their truck for me. Maybe a table would be the next thing they’d bring up.

He blinked, not bothering to hide his shock. “Really? I mean, yeah, totally—I’m more than happy to—”

“Don’t get too excited,” I told him. “I’m not a great cook, and all I bought at the store was pizza rolls and microwavable food.”

“I could order us something for delivery,” he suggested, grinning, beaming at me, so happy to be invited to stay for dinner, like I had literally just made his day. And, hey, maybe I did. Maybe Lake didn’t really have a life outside of his college classes and his work.

I waved him off. “No, let me cook for you. I insist.”

Lake could not stop grinning. The smile was infectious, and I wrestled with myself as the two strangers finished up filling my apartment with everything I could possibly need. A tall dresser, a huge mounted flat-screen TV, even a tiny sofa. The apartment was damn near unrecognizable when they left, and even though I had pizza rolls in the oven, I couldn’t help but get lost in my thoughts.

This wasn’t right. Me, taking all this stuff from Roman. It was basically just me accepting whatever agreement I’d walked into—er, begged to be in when his hands had made me feel alive. God, those hands…

And then I’d dropped to my knees like a greedy cock slut and sucked both Carter and Roman off.

What was wrong with me? I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have turned into a whimpering fool the moment Roman walked into my life, let alone let my body light with fire anytime those black, soulless eyes landed on me.

But I did, and now I had to face the consequences. The consequences that, apparently, involved presents of the expensive, intrusive variety.

Lake was overly amicable to the two guys as they left, and once they were gone, he closed the door and sighed. He shot me a half-smile, saying, “Well, that was eventful.” He took in the newly-decorated apartment, adding, “Although, to their credit, this place does look a lot better. You were sleeping on an air mattress before?”

“Uh, yeah.” I made my way to the sofa, sitting on it and expecting some hard, uncomfortable cushions. It wasn’t. It was the softest fucking sofa I’d ever sat my ass on. Of course.

It wasn’t like I wanted to admit to Lake how I’d been living since moving in here. I literally ran with next to nothing, pretty much only cash. Lugging along a mattress was one of the last things on my mind as I hightailed it out of my parents’ house and away from my lying sister and my fuckup of a boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend now.

Lake took his time in sitting beside me, careful to leave some space between us. He leaned back on the couch, lifting an arm and hanging it on the back cushion. “Why’d you run away?” A pause before he quickly said, “Sorry if that’s too intrusive. You don’t have to answer.”

Talking about it was one of the last things I wanted to do, but sitting here with Lake, I felt… it was weird, but I felt like I wanted to open up, wanted to tell him what happened. Would he think less of me? I mean, what kind of girl was oblivious to her steady boyfriend and little sister hooking up under her nose for over half a year?

“It’s okay,” I finally spoke, breaking my silence and causing Lake to exhale a shaky, nervous breath. This guy really didn’t want to be invasive; he was almost too nice. “I, uh, I used to go to school. Hillcrest University.”

“That’s that rich school a state over, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “One day my class was canceled, but I didn’t know until I got there.” Memories flashed in my head, and though I tried to act impartial, like the cut didn’t still sting, it did. The wounds were still raw, and I hated the pain in my heart. “When I got back home, I found my sister and my boyfriend going at it.”

Lake’s expression changed, and he looked like he was going to tell me how sorry he was, so I plowed on.

“Like rabbits,” I said. “So, I flipped. Kicked his cheating ass out and reamed my sister. When my parents got home from work, they told me it wasn’t a big deal.”

That Lake couldn’t keep silent on. “They told you it wasn’t a big deal that your boyfriend and your sister were doing it behind your back?” He was incredulous, and I couldn’t blame him. Something like that would never leave the lips of normal parents; my parents, though, were anything but normal.

Everyone in Hillcrest was a little off their rocker, somehow. People with money were never normal. They all had their skeletons, the shit they’d rather work to hide than let their mistakes be widely known. My family was no different.

“Yep,” I muttered, drawing my feet up on the sofa and wrapping my arms around my legs. “And then my mom made a comment to me, basically saying they’d been doing it for months behind my back and I was clueless then, so why couldn’t I just forget about it and let it go? He came from a nice family, after all—”

“Damn,” Lake spoke with a frown. The frown hardly sat well on his face, nowhere near as cute as his dimples and smile were, but that frown meant he was on my side, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. “That’s cruel, and heartless.”

“That’s my family.”

He inched closer. “Well, I know I’m pretty much still a stranger to you, but from what it sounds like, you’re better off without them.” Lake gestured to the apartment, to all of the new furniture resting within it. “You don’t need any of this to be happy. You don’t need their money or their approval. Sometimes you just have to cut out the toxic people and move on, even though it’s hard.”

“You’re smart, Lake,” I spoke, a smile biting at my lips. “You might be a stranger, but I think I like you.” Whoa. I did not mean to say that… did I?

Dimples appeared on his cheeks. “I’d say I’m a pretty likable guy, but that feels like something a douche would say.”

I giggled. “Yeah, you’re right there.”

“All jokes aside, I think I like you too, Zoey.”

I blinked, and suddenly Lake’s face was far too close to mine. Was he leaning in, or was I? Were we both doing it, unaware? And, perhaps most importantly, I wondered: what would happen if I did kiss him?

Lake’s eyelids were half-closed, his breathing slow and steady. He was so close; it really wouldn’t take much from me to close what little distance there was left between us, to press my lips upon his and let him push out the conflicting, anxious thoughts in my head. To let Lake drown me in his newness, his kindness, even if it was all a show. Sometimes it was good to simply let go.

That’s how I wound up in this weird arrangement with Roman, though.

Fortunately for me, the oven chose that exact moment to go off, the timer beeping to let me know the pizza rolls were done. I jerked away from Lake, practically leaping to my feet and hurrying to the oven, pretending not to notice the disappointment that crossed his face when I pulled back so fast.

Yeah, me and him… it was a bad idea. We were neighbors. We could be friends, but that’s it.