Sweet Girl by Quell T. Fox
Charlotte
SixstitcheslaterandI’msittingupinthehospitalbed,sippingonsomegingerale.I’dhavebeendischargedbynowbutIendeduppassingout—overthesightofthecutandnothingmore—sotheywantedmetostayawhileforobservation.Makesureitwon’thappenagain.Justincase.Iappreciatethembeingthorough,butIjustwanttogohome.
I am exhausted. I want my bed and to sleep for a week straight.
Jonathan is sitting on the side of me, chair pushed against the bed. His hand is holding mine, his thumb brushing along my knuckles in a way that calms me more than anything else I’ve found.
And I wonder… could this be a thing?
Jonathan and I? Can this be more than what it is?
More than just a game?
It sure feels like it. But I worry too many people would have something to say. That my mother would disown me. And it’s not even the fact that he’s my stepdad or ex-stepdad. Outside of this town, no one would ever know that. It’s the age difference. He’s nineteen years older than me, twice my age. I bet most people would think I was his actual daughter, or worse, they’d look at him like he’s a creep. I have to make a decision, and I have to stick to it.
I inhale deeply, opening my eyes.
“How are you feeling?” he asks softly.
“Tired.”
“I tried calling your mother, but she didn’t answer.”
I nod. “She said she was at work but I called and she isn’t here.”
“I know. I asked the nurse earlier.” Pity. It’s what I hear in his voice and it hurts more than it should.
“Is this… is this what she did to you?” I turn my head towards him. His bright eyes meet mine. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn't have to.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be. I’m not.”
“How can you be okay with this?”
This is the first time he and I are having a normal conversation. No sex. No games. Just real conversation.
“Because of you.”
His words hit me right in the chest. The emotion is so deep that I have to turn away.
“Just a game. Remember?” I don’t know why I say the words. We both know this is more than a game. Maybe I want to see how he responds, what he has to say to that. I’m hurt over my mom. She lied to me. Where is she? What is she doing? She’s probably with him… and his daughter. And I’m upset with Jonathan… why? I have no idea. For being so much older than me. For having fucked my mother. For not being in the right place at the right time so he can be mine and mine alone?
“Is it, Charlotte?” I feel his eyes boring into the side of my face as he stares at me but I don’t have it in me to look back at him, see the emotion in his eyes, because it’ll scare the shit out of me.
I’ve fantasized and dreamed about this man for three years. A man that I thought I could never have.
And now here he is, here we are, and I’m pretty sure he’s telling me he wants something more… more than just sex. More than just getting off on watching me with other guys. More than the games we started out with.
I’m about to say something, to tell him I want that too. It doesn’t have to be just a game anymore. I’m tired of being lonely, of having nothing because it’s all I’ve ever had my entire life. Nothing.
Yeah, Mom was with me, but she never made the time to actually be by my side. She was there, raising me and watching me grow, yet it still felt like it was just me and myself.
But the nurse walks in, shattering my resolve and breaking the moment.
“Miss Evans! The doctor has cleared you to go home. I have some paperwork for you to take with you. If you could just sign here, you can be on your way.”
I take the pen and sign the paper. She hands me a bunch more that I place on the bed beside me, knowing I’ll only throw them away when I get home. When she leaves the room, I sweep my legs over the side of the bed and try to get my shoes on. I’m met a moment later by Jonathan, down on one knee, holding my foot and placing my shoe on for me.
This man.
This fucking man.
“Jonathan…”
He shakes his head slowly. “It’s okay, Charlotte.” He looks up with a sad smile. “It’s just a game.” He winks and my heart shatters.
Because I don’t want this to be just a game any longer.
I want this to be more.