Heart of Stone by Rebecca Ruger

Chapter Nine

Robbie was taking ona fair amount of ribbing but laughing through it all. “Swear to His Lord, lads, I ’aven’t seen one red deer but from the mountaintop in more than a month.”

“Aye, it’s fine, Robbie,” Finn said, grinning, “If ye were wantin’ us to get after all your chores there, ye might ’ave just said as much. Are we to be fishing now, our day done so early?”

Behind their steeds and dragged by strong ropes, two does lay dead, sliding along the sparse woods with some fluidity, unable to offer any resistance. Arrows yet protruded from their sleek hides.

“C’mon, lads,” Robbie contested defensively but with good nature.

Peadar added to the teasing. “If we get back to the croft and Beitris’s arm is in a sling, I’ll ken we’ve been made fools, but we’ll be scrubbing the kettles anyhow.”

Calum’s lips quirked as he glanced over his shoulder at his cousin, pleased that they were able to be of assistance, and happy for the time spent with Robbie.

“I’ll no’ be washin’ nappies, though,” Artur announced. “A line in the dirt there, Robbie.”

“Aye, but he’s just a wee bairn,” Robbie sent back, smirking at Artur. “With wee little turds.”

“As opposed to that large horse dung you’re spewing, aye, Robbie?” Finn asked through his chortle.

Chuckling outright now, Calum faced forward, spying the croft just come into view in the distance as they cleared the last of the trees. A pleasant vista, he decided, the door and shutters flung wide, a plume of smoke angling and drifting away from the stone chimney, dissipating into the clear blue sky.

The calm was shattered as a fantastic shriek reached their ears, followed by another, shrill and then broken. Calum’s scowl was instant, and he spurred his destrier into some speed just as Mairi came running around the side of the croft. She tripped and fell, her arms flailing until they met the dry ground, sending up a cloud of dust and dirt. She pushed herself up quickly. Her destination seemed to be the house until she noticed the horsemen coming from the forest, and she angled toward them, her face streaked with tears.

She was alone, which sent a cold chill down Calum’s spine.

“Julianna?” Calum called as he raced forward.

Mairi pointed first, toward the hill, waiting for them to be closer. She was breathless with fright while tears streamed down her flushed cheeks. She met her father’s eyes as he reined in severely next to Calum.

“The jutting garden,” she told her da’. “Two men came...” And she broke down.

Mairi’s scream brought Beitris from the croft by now and she took her terrified daughter into her arms, her face likewise alight with fear.

Calum looked to Robbie for clarification of the jutting garden. Robbie dismounted, drawing his sword from the scabbard which was attached to his horse. “We’ll get there faster on foot,” he called abruptly over his shoulder as he also collected his bow and the quiver of arrows.

The MacKinnons dismounted then as well, Artur and Peadar grabbing up their bows and arrows while the others loosed the swords from their scabbards. Calum dropped his sword to the ground beside his horse and clutched his long dagger in his left hand instead.

Ailbert and Boyd were set onto the ground and charged with collecting the steeds as the men raced around the cottage, Robbie leading the way.

“Halfway up,” Robbie was calling out as he ran uphill. “Faces the east, little spot that juts out.”

“Who would be in these hills?” Calum wanted to know, this posed through gritted teeth.

“None but the Clayhills,” Robbie answered, as breathless as all of them so quickly were for the steepness of the incline. “That’s the only ones I’ve ever seen around here. They ain’t friendly but they’re usually harmless.”

Calum was desperate to move more swiftly than Robbie was, but was forced to remain behind him as he didn’t know the exact direction. He took long strides, chewing up the ground beneath his feet, his fury not relieved with each stamp of his foot into the earth, but intensified.

“Spread out, archers right and left,” Robbie commanded, quieter now, his soldiering days of years ago serving him well. He stopped suddenly, grabbing Calum by the collar when a woman’s scream was heard further ahead. “Wait!” He hissed.

Calum shook him off. Two men? He would run them both through, and fucking smile while he did so. He raced forward, upward, following the sound of Julianna’s cry, his calves by now protesting every rising step. His dagger was ready, moving up and down with the running motions of the hand that held it.

A flash of color through the trees and brush further up the hill drew all his focus. Immediately, he recognized the white of the apron that Julianna had worn, racing desperately downward. Other movement behind her told Calum she was yet being pursued. He kept on, getting closer, his furious gaze trained on her that he knew exactly when she spotted him, among the others, and adjusted her direction that she was running directly at him. The apron was torn and flapping as she ran. Likewise, her gown was torn at one shoulder that her pale collarbone was visible. Both the downhill trajectory and her certain fright had her moving with flailing arms, wild eyes, and a dangerous speed.

Calum braced himself to catch her, wrapping her up in one arm just a bit to his right, lifting her off her feet as she came to a crashing halt against him. At the same moment, he took one more step forward and hurled his dagger overhead and through the air, where, bare seconds later, it pierced the neck of the closest assailant. He dropped instantly.

Robbie and Finn and the others passed by where Calum had stopped, giving chase to the second attacker, as he’d noticed the MacKinnons as his friend had not, and had turned and fled.

Spurting rapid breaths through his flared nostrils, Calum held Julianna close. She’d wrapped both hands around the top of his right arm, while her face was bent onto his shoulder.

“Shh,” he cooed, though the noise was not soft, not gentle, was soaked yet with so much of his rage. He adjusted her, brought her toward his chest, and wrapped both arms fully around her that he was instantly infused with all her sorrowful trembling.

Julianna surprised him by lifting her arms and circling his neck, clinging to him with rigid force while she, too, breathed only through her nose, the noise sharp and erratic. He thought she must be on the tips of her toes for how close her cheek was to his. In response, Calum held her close and rubbed his hand up and down her back and over her hair.

A grunt and yelp sounded from further up the mountainside. The yelp was cut short with an abruptness to suggest the second man was now dead as well.

“It’s done, Julianna,” he said, not unaware of the torment of his voice, that this had happened to her. She was as stiff as stone in his embrace.

“Mairi?” She asked close to his ear.

“Unharmed. At the croft with Beitris,” he assured her. “Two men, Julianna? Or more?”

“T-two,” she murmured, her shivering causing her to stammer.

Just as Robbie and the MacKinnons came close again, Calum bent and lifted Julianna into his arms, turning to carry her down the mountain.

Calum tread carefully on the descent, picking his way precisely around trees and rock, his steps even as to jar her no further. After a few minutes, her shaking lessened. She leaned her face against his chest, the top of her head tucked under his chin, her left hand raised up to and clutching his shoulder. Calum’s jaw was yet clenched, but he closed his eyes for a second and breathed deeply to calm himself.

The other men made the downhill trek with him, somber and silent, but yet alert.

Julianna said something but he could not hear. He’d just reached the bottom of the hill, had only to cross the spare stream at the back of the croft yet. He tipped his face down at her.

She did not glance up but cleared her throat, repeating, “I cannot go into the house like this.”

“We can send the children out,” he suggested, assuming she would want Beitris’s surely tender ministrations.

Julianna shook her head against him. “Can I...clean up here? At the water?”

“Aye.” He stopped and turned. Only Finn and Robbie were yet behind him. “She wants to wash up first.”

Neither indicated any confusion. “Aye,” said Robbie. “I’ll fetch a gown from Beitris.”

Calum nodded and let the two men pass him. Finn struck Calum’s sword into the gravel of the small stream’s bed.

“I can stand,” she said, sounding closer to normal, though still there was a tremor in her voice.

He set her on her feet, holding her arms until he was sure she wouldn’t collapse.

“Julianna,” he started, though wasn’t exactly sure what he might say to alleviate any of this.

She gripped his forearms as he held her, but shook her head, her face and eyes lowered. He saw a welt across her cheek where she’d obviously been struck. She continued to shake her head. “I am fine. Rattled, is all. I just...I just need a minute.”

“Sit here,” Calum suggested, steering her toward a level spot near the trickling stream.

“Is it deeper anywhere?” She surprised him by asking before she would have sat. She looked up and down the creek.

Calum wasn’t sure and didn’t understand why she had asked.

“I feel as if a...a bath might be better.”

Jesu!He’d thought they’d arrived in time, that she’d escaped before— His fingers clenched unwittingly upon her. Finally, she met his gaze. She did not misconstrue the fiery torment she undoubtedly found there and gave him some relief when she shook her head again, wearily now, and said, “I was not—they did not...” she let that hang, but Calum understood what she imparted here. “I just want to be clean.”

“Aye.” He would make that happen. He’d walk miles to find the depth of a pool that she needed, whatever else she might require. “Let’s go this way,” he said, pointing toward where the creek seemed as if it might be trailing slightly downhill. He removed his hands from her elbows and grabbed the hilt of his sword from where Finn had left it, sheathing it smoothly. Taking her hand then, he led the way from the rear of the house and into the woods, following the creek. It did widen and become deeper, but Calum pressed on, hoping for a better bath than this. She lagged listlessly behind him that often his hand was pulled back as she tried to keep up. Forcing himself to slow down, he was pleased when they finally reached an area that was less a natural pool than made so deep by a jam of fallen logs, the water nearly black for its depth and under a canopy of frilly pines.

While walking he’d given some thought to how they might accomplish her having a full bath with him near for safety but without her having to bare anything to him so that when they stopped, he said to her, “I’ll sit just there, back to the tree, eyes to the woods, close but not watching.”

She gave her appreciation of this by trying to smile at him. The first smile she’d freely offered to him. How regrettable.

He did as he’d said, moved about ten feet away, putting his back to the trunk of a narrow pine and her as he sat.

He concentrated on sounds, intent that they not be surprised by anyone or anything but was then aware of her stripping all the layers from her body. He heard her sharp intake of breath as she waded into the water, wrought by the shock of how cold it was, no doubt.

The water barely moved, and so few splashes were heard that Calum thought she might only be sitting.

Her voice drifted across the space between them after a few moments, small and wobbly. “They are dead?”

Calum breathed in a deep breath. The infidels were dead. “Aye.” Was he a monster then, too, for his reaction? Or rather, more of a monster.

“I-I am sorry you had to do that,” she said quietly. “But I am glad that you...arrived when you did.”

“Mairi was terrified but brave enough to give us what we needed fairly quickly,” he allowed. Too much could not be made about exactly how courageous wee Mairi had been. Likely, she’d never known such a fright in all her young life.

“Is it...strange...that I feel safe now with you?”

Calum chewed on this question for a moment while he stripped a short and skinny pine bough of its needles with one swipe of his fingers. Safe with you, even though you plan to kill me, he thought she must mean.

“Julianna....” He tipped his head back against the rough bark, not knowing how to respond.

“I’m sorry,” she rushed out. “I shouldn’t have phrased it as such. I should have simply said thank you and told you I feel safe with you. That was...ill-mannered.” She said all these words through tears, her voice breaking.

Calum was aware of his entire body responding to her despair. His blood boiled and his fists clenched again. His lip curled with a heretofore unknown fury.

He said nothing, simply closed his eyes and let his thoughts torture him.

He wanted to start over. He wanted to ride in to Kinclaven and not be ambushed. He wanted to find his bride waiting, maybe with a nervous smile. He wished to see her as she should have been at first glance, in that blue gown that added hints of silver to her clear green eyes and with her hair dressed so perfectly with all those ridiculous pins and ribbon threaded about. He wanted to know in that fantasy moment all that he understood about her now, every damn thing that was so beguiling and inescapable.

He wanted another chance.

His name was hollered, the sound reaching him from far away. Callum jumped up, recalling after a split second to keep his gaze averted from the water, but not before he’d collected an image of her naked back and shoulder, the ribboned tail of her hair pulled over her shoulder and at her front. In that split second, her comely shape exposed to him, his gaze had seized hungrily on the milky perfection of her bare skin and the reed-like, willowy shape of her arms and back and nape.

“That’ll be Robbie with a frock for you,” he advised in a rough voice, guiltily throwing his attention once again into the trees.

“I’m fine,” she said over her shoulder, giving him permission to fetch the item from his cousin.

“I’ll be but a moment,” he told her and shouted back to Robbie a loud, Aye, jogging off in that direction.

When he returned, less than a minute had passed, but Julianna had emerged from her bath and stood on the needle-strewn bank, engulfed neck to knee in Calum’s plaid.

Like a stammering simpleton, he mumbled something incoherent and thrust at her the frock and other garments Robbie had brought, as if she would have withdrawn a hand from her cocoon to take it. The look she gave him did not also accuse him of being an idiot, but it did not exactly exonerate him either.

Swallowing, cursing himself a fool, he set it on the ground. He cleared his throat and spun on his heel, resuming his position behind the tree. “I’ll wait here.”

***

WHEN CALUM AND JULIANNAreturned to the croft, he thought maybe it was a good thing that Mairi was sitting outside—waiting for Julianna, Calum supposed—that those two had their reunion away from the others. It became tearful quite fast, with Mairi rushing Julianna as they came around the side of the cottage. Julianna sprinted forward as well and Mairi wrapped her arms around Julianna’s slender waist, burying her head against her chest. Julianna embraced her tightly, bending her face into Mairi’s dark hair.

The remnants of Julianna’s shock and trauma dissipated, or were cast aside, as she pulled back and took Mairi’s face in her hands. “You were so very brave, Mairi.”

“I wasn’t though. I cried like a child.”

“But you found your da’ and Calum and all is well, aye?” Her smile was bright, purposefully so, but effective enough that Mairi was able to find a wee smile to give back. “I cried also,” Julianna said with an intentionally offhanded shrug. “’Tis to be expected.”

They turned then, walking arm and arm into the house while Calum followed. Honestly, Julianna should have looked a fright in Beitris’s too-wide and too-short gray frock and with her hair mussed yet, but Calum was beginning to understand that even at her worst, she was still so damn bonny.

Thankfully, the men and the lads were yet out-of-doors, gone to the barn or the fields, Calum assumed, stepping inside to find only Beitris, Arabella, and Lucas within. Julianna was being hugged now by Beitris, who faced Calum over Julianna’s shoulder, her button eyes watery. He set the spare plaid that had dried Julianna and her torn blue velvet gown onto the table, leaving Julianna to decide what might be done with it. He’d already claimed her painted comb from the pocket of her gown, sorry that the piece had been broken into three pieces but hopeful that he or Artur might be able to mend it.

“They’re all out in the north pasture,” Beitris said to Calum when he had no other reason to stay, but that he didn’t want to leave Julianna. When he hesitated, Beitris strode toward him and shooed him out the door. “We’ve got our hands full in here with the meal and a sweet dessert to make yet. Off ye go.” She actually closed the door behind him.

Calum stared at the door for a moment before turning to leave. He found the lads in the field as Beitris had said. They seemed about no industry, only stood in a circle, Finn with his hand on Robbie’s shoulder. Calum frowned as he neared, saw that Robbie’s face was lowered to his chest, the fingers of one hand pinching his closed eyes.

When his cousin lifted his head and composed himself, he noticed Calum.

Robbie had been crying, it seemed.

Calum’s scowl deepened.

His cousin shook off Calum’s grim reaction.

“It’s...I shouldn’t entertain the what-ifs. I ken that.”

No, they should not, Calum knew. But bluidy hell, only just now did Calum realize that sweet Mairi might well have been assaulted. He cursed roundly under his breath, stepping back, struck now as well by what might have happened.

“But how did she get away?” Calum asked. How was the lass able to push aside her sure horror to race for help?

“Julianna,” Finn said. “Mairi told her da’ that when the men came, Julianna pushed Mairi behind her, using a branch to ward them off. Course, there were two of them, so one did grab Mairi, but Julianna whacked him with the limb.”

“Mairi said Julianna just kept screaming for her to run,” Artur filled in. “They wrestled the stick away from her, but by Mairi’s account, Julianna fought like a hellcat, scratching and punching them. Still she kept yelling for Mairi to go.”

“Until one of them struck Julianna in the face and she fell,” Finn grumbled with so much fury. “But that’s when Mairi realized they needed help and she did take off.”

“Praise God,” Robbie wept. He bent his head again, putting his hands on his hips until he calmed.

“Has anything like this ever happened here before?” Calum wanted to know.

“No, never,” Robbie said emphatically. “Fourteen years we’ve made our home here. Never no’ one incident. But then I dinna recognize either of those men. They weren’t Clayhills I dinna think, though I canna be sure.”

“We should stay on a bit, I would think,” Calum suggested, “just in case there’s any repercussions.”

His men all nodded eagerly.

Robbie surprised him by dismissing the idea. “There’s no need, Cal. Those bodies won’t be found for years. Be naught but bones by then.”

This was in all probability true.

“Let’s get some work done then,” Finn suggested. “I’ve got a mighty rage I need worked out yet.”

***

HER HANDS DIDN’T STOPshaking for almost another hour, in which time Beitris was adamant that she do nothing but hold the babe, Lucas.

“You’ll no’ be sweating in my kitchen, no’ after what you’ve been through.”

She might have argued, but she hadn’t either the will or the energy, hardly able to believe how impossibly sleepy she was. She sat in the only chair that boasted a curved back—Robbie’s usual chair—and was quite happy then to amuse herself with Lucas and Arabella, who was often nearby. And while she didn’t ever feel unsafe inside the croft, she readily admitted the tremendous relief she felt when the men returned. She heard them first washing up behind the cottage at the creek, happily expecting that the pit in her belly might now begin to settle. But then she was made to feel so very conspicuous as the men walked through the door. One by one, their gazes found her, only gauging her wellness she was sure, though it still made her uneasy. Peadar’s gaze, in particular, looked sorrowful, while Finn and Artur showed yet a lingering anger on her behalf, she thought she understood. Booth and Tomag gave her only quizzical glances, that she thought she must be correct that they were only concerned about her.

And then Calum came through the door. He was not sheepish, he didn’t try to not look at her or quickly avert his eyes as his men had done, but held her gaze steadily, measuring completely her state of mind. Because Julianna thought she detected some worry there in the depths of his intense green eyes, she did offer a wee smile, hoping it told him that she was all right. Better now, that he was here.

He nodded curtly, unappeased it seemed, and turned a bit, though Julianna noticed that he opened his mouth and shifted his jaw back and forth, as if attempting to alleviate the pain one experienced by gnashing their teeth so tightly.

The supper was brutally silent then. But for Beitris, who was made most uncomfortable with the quiet that she prattled on nonsensically. This included rambling along with a meandering story about a trip to Glasgow in her youth, which seemed to have no point, no climax, and as Julianna began to fear, no end.

When she did finally wrap it up, the table went quiet again, the tragedy of this morning not lending itself to so much merriment.

Feeling a great responsibility, even as she knew today’s horror was not at all her fault, Julianna thought to give some aid to the anxious Beitris. No hostess could bear a silent supper table, no matter the reason. And Julianna was sure she could not survive too many more minutes of Mairi’s expected but heartbreaking wretchedness. Taking a deep breath, Julianna decided to bring the heretofore unspoken event to the fore, hoping that her mother’s old adage about going through it to get over it might be effective here. Taking a deep breath, she said into the awkward silence, “I never quite understood what the phrase seeing stars meant, until the back of my head hit the ground with such force today.”

There, she’d put it out there. She wouldn’t have thought it possible, but the silence was even more pronounced. Good heavens, but she could hear her own thudding heartbeat. Everyone went completely still. Robbie’s knife was arrested halfway to his mouth. But it was fine, or it would be, she trusted. Now she would turn it around, hopefully make them forget it, or at least move past it.

“Of course,” Julianna continued, “it wasn’t nearly as painful or humiliating as the time I fell out of a tree.”

As if on cue, and bless her, dear Mairi asked, “When did you fall out of a tree?”

“I was about your age, actually,” she answered with some liveliness. “I’d climbed it as high as I could to get a glimpse of Nicol Waiddo, who was the handsomest boy in the town. Once a week, he’d come to the keep to deliver the leather goods his father turned out. I’d already tried so many tactics—which my sisters had assured me would work—to get his attention, but I could barely turn his head. I’d once pretended to stumble very close to him, hoping he would catch me.” Julianna winced. “He did not. He actually jumped out of the way that I fell flat on my face.”

Finn’s low chuckle led a round of quiet, awkward laughter that Julianna eagerly carried on.

“And then one time, I pretended to have sprained my ankle, well outside the walls of the keep, so that when he rode by as scheduled, he might carry me back to Kinclaven.” She made another funny face. “He did not, despite my valiant efforts to climb into his arms. He kept pushing me back down onto the ground where he’d found me, saying he would fetch my father instead.” Further laughter encouraged her to share more, all of which was true and so much less embarrassing presently than it had been at the time, and for a worthy cause just now. “Another time,” she continued cheerily, “I pretended I was dying. I forced my sisters to spread the word outside the wall, sure that the handsome Nicol would come to my bedside and pledge his love when he heard the sorry news.”

“He did not,” Tomag guessed through his laughter.

“Sadly, no. And then my mam discovered what I’d done and I was imprisoned in my own chambers as punishment for a week straight.” She sent a crooked grin to Mairi. “Mayhap you can imagine what trauma this caused me, unable to see my beloved.” She sighed dramatically, but could not withhold her grin, as the memories of how foolish she’d behaved did make her laugh.

“Mayhap, he only wanted to be friends, lass,” Peadar offered, pinning her with a taunting grin.

“Obviously,” she said with a comical roll of her eyes. “So finally, I thought that if I caused some injury to him—very small, mind you—”

“Oh, Lord in heaven,” Artur interjected.

Grinning, Julianna continued, “—that I might come to his rescue and he would finally notice me.” Artur and Booth were already laughing, and she’d hadn’t even gotten to the good part of this particular incident. “I climbed a tree and meant to peg him with a stone from my slingshot—”

“Why am I no’ surprised ye ken how to use a slingshot?” Finn wondered good-naturedly.

“I was quite proficient, Finn, if I do say so myself. So there I was, so high off the ground inside the thick limbs and green leaves, I was sure I couldn’t be seen from below. And I waited.” She paused, adding to the suspense, so pleased that they’d all lost their gloomy expressions by now. “And here comes my beloved Nicol, upon the crude wagon behind an ancient nag, and I squint and I aim and let loose the stone.” Julianna grimaced for effect. “Must’ve been nervous, or the wind took it off, I’m not sure, but it didn’t pass within ten feet of him. But he’s still moving, and I’ve got to act quick, so I fire another, and it doesn’t hit Nicol but the nag instead.” Julianna put her hands to the side of her head, pretending great alarm. “Oh, good grief. The old nag bolts, the wagon is bumped and jostled all over the place. Nicol’s hanging on for dear life and the leather goods he’d brought are spilling out all over the place as they ride out of sight.”

“But how did you fall out of the tree?” Mairi wanted to know.

“I couldn’t watch, it was so awful,” Julianna went on. “But unlike when I used the slingshot and had perched myself securely upon the limb, when catastrophe struck I panicked and covered my eyes”—she made a motion to suit her words, slapping her hands over her eyes, throwing her upper body backward with more drama— “which toppled me from my position.” Opening her eyes, she leaned forward against the table and finished, “I have a suspicion I hit every lower branch on the way down. Didn’t wake for hours, by my reckoning. And yes, I saw stars, I vow.”

“As ye deserve!” Robbie declared through his grin.

“What happened to the lad?”

“Oh, he was fine,” Julianna said, waving her hand dismissively. “But there was some fuss back at the keep about the poor tanner’s son who’d been attacked by a band of wild gypsies, or so he’d claimed. I supposed he needed some tale to explain the leather bridles and belts and straps strewn all over the ground.” She turned to Tomag and said with a saucy shrug, “Anyway, he’s bald now and quite paunchy and wed to Berta, who only has that one good eye and that’s what he gets for ignoring all my efforts to capture his undying devotion.” She finished with a pert nod, so in love with all the giggling and chortling at the table.

“Remind me to no’ ignore her ever, come running whenever she calls,” Finn said to no one in particular.

“Lass, I’m thinking you might have a thousand tales such as this,” Artur remarked, lifting one brow at her.

“Possibly,” she admitted. With feigned innocence, she conceded, “I was just always so sure I knew exactly how things should be done, and certainly I knew what I wanted. Oh, but it was exhausting waiting for everything to happen the way I had it all planned out in my head.”

More laughter followed.

And everything was back to normal, Julianna saw, for the conversation kept on then. They went off on Nicol’s last name, Booth making fun of the sound of it, pronouncing it several different ways—“Way-do, Waa-doo.” —while Peadar suggested, “Sounds like an exclamation, no’ a name.”

Tomag told his own embarrassing tale about a time he’d fallen off a horse in front of a lass he’d been sweet on. Julianna sat back and took it all in, pleased that her plan had worked, that she’d been able to make them forget that anything horrific had happened today. She felt warmth and cheer in this room and liked the feeling very much, looking around the table at these fine people.

Her smiling gaze lit on Calum, who was not listening to Tomag, it appeared, not laughing as the others still were, but was watching her with an inscrutable expression. In the warm, golden light of the cottage, across the table, the green of his eyes was vividly emerald. She decided then that his expression contained no hostility as it sometimes did, only a keen and compelling intensity that quickened her breath and made her blink and look away.