Pretty Boy D by Rachel Jonas
26
Joss
If I’d been a minute later coming out of my room, I would’ve missed him. He’s dressed for the gym, with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He hears my footsteps and casts an emotionless look my way.
Swallowing before I speak, I pretend it doesn’t bite a little seeing how things have changed between us.
“Hey, mind if I talk to you for a sec?”
His hand falls away from the doorknob and he faces me. “Sure. What’s up?”
I swallow deeply, searching for courage I’m not sure I have. When I got in from Blue’s last night, he was busy editing video footage to upload, so I didn’t bother him, making myself scarce because it was the easy thing to do.
But it’s now or never. With only one week until Carlos arrives, I can’t keep putting this off.
“So, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you, but I went back and forth between not being sure how to bring it up, and not being sure it was even worth mentioning,” I ramble, pushing a stray curl out of my face.
“What is it?” he asks flatly, letting his back fall against the door while he listens.
There’s a lump in my throat the size of a golf ball. I swallow and just spit it out.
“It’s not my doing, but… Carlos will be here next weekend. He’ll be staying in a hotel, so you won’t likely see him, but I thought you might want to know.”
My tone lightens at the end, hoping to make this sound like nothing. Technically, it is nothing, but Dane would never believe that.
Now, he’s quiet. Too quiet. It’s even more awkward because this is the most we’ve talked in weeks. But he can’t possibly be upset, right? After all, he and Shawna are involved.
“Okay.”
That one word falls from his mouth and I’m silent. He holds my gaze and holds that expressionless look on his face.
“Just… okay?”
“What the hell else am I supposed to say, Joss?” he says with a short laugh. “You told me before that he might be visiting, so… it is what it is.”
I breathe in slowly and let it out the same.
It is what it is—a vague-ass statement that’s always grated my fucking nerves. Even more so with him using it now, while I’m trying to discuss something serious.
This conversation makes it feel like the gulf between us just widened by a mile. He seems so cold and indifferent. Telltale signs that a guy’s emotions have detached, likely the result of whatever it is him and Shawna have been up to lately.
“Fine. Guess that’s it then.”
“You sure?” he asks, popping a brow like the cocky dick I’ve seen him be toward other people, but not with me.
Never with me.
Guess this is where we are now.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I force a smile, pretending not to notice how different he is.
He’s about to turn and leave, but halts with his hand on the knob. “I’m supposed to have another thing going on with Shawna next weekend, so I was gonna suggest that we double, but why don’t we just have something here? We can invite people and get a caterer. It’d be fun.”
My heart’s racing and I can only hope I’m hiding it well. I force another smile and nod.
“Sure, I’ll shoot you a text of a few caterers I think might work.”
He seems so casual about this. So… indifferent.
“Sounds like a plan. Maybe we’ll talk more about it when I get back from the gym.”
Dumbfounded, I nod and can’t say another word as he steps out and closes the door behind him. Meanwhile, I’ve got one thought running through my head.
What the actual fuck just happened?