Pretty Boy D by Rachel Jonas

32

Joss

The flames of ten candles flicker around the edge of the tub, our only source of light. Water rushes down both arms when Dane’s hands grip them, and my head falls back, landing on his shoulder. When my eyes close, there’s one thought cycling on repeat.

I think I love him.

Not as a friend. Not simply because he just blew my mind. But because I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have hold me like this on the entire planet.

“Did I hurt you?”

With the question, my eyes reopen slowly. “No more than I expected.”

His chest swells and lifts my head a bit when he breathes. “I tried to take it easy, but… you felt so damn good,” he admits with a small laugh, bringing a smile to my lips. “And in my defense, I’ve been dreaming about this day since we were twelve, so I was bound to get pretty fucking excited.”

“You’ve legit wanted to fuck me since we were in sixth grade?”

I cast a look over my shoulder when asking, and the expression he wears says it all, setting off a laugh inside me.

“Perv.”

“Would you prefer it if I lie? Fuck yeah I’ve wanted you that long.”

His arms encircle my ribs, brushing underneath my breasts when he embraces me from behind. His cock presses into the small of my back, but he isn’t hard. Bathing together tonight isn’t about sex. It’s about intimacy.

I settle into him again, feeling weak. If he hadn’t made a good point about being sore in the morning, I’d be fast asleep right now. Hopefully, with his warmth beside me.

“I uh… I’ve been thinking.”

The sound of his voice has me alert again. “About what?”

“I want you to know I heard what you said about your parents, and how they remind you of us, and I also want you to know I respect that.”

“But?” I ask with a laugh, feeling that coming from a mile away.

“But… I also know what I want. And what I want is you, Joss. Bad.”

He’s motionless after admitting this, and so am I.

“I think we should be together, and I think you should consider it. Consider me,” he adds, making my heart skip ten beats.

I hadn’t shared what my thoughts were when we finished a while ago. Hadn’t told him that my resolve was weakening, so these are simply his true feelings, aligning so perfectly with mine.

My lips part to speak, but before I can even get the words out, a pang of fear strikes, stealing the smidge of courage I’d just gathered. This pang rests heavy on me. It screams that, if we do this, something at some point will go wrong and we’ll both regret this decision. Even if it takes months, years. We’ll regret it.

My eyes slam shut, then I exhale sharply, trying to rid my thoughts of the negativity. I manage to at least quiet it, although a trace lingers behind.

“I agree with you. We should give it a try.”

His hand smooths across my stomach and it’s almost scary how natural this feels, how quickly we found our way to this place.

“Just say when,” he whispers against my ear.

I smile and breathe him in. “When.”

He chuckles quietly against my skin, and the feel of it arouses goosebumps to the surface.

“Then, I guess that’s that. It’s just you and me.”

“Guess it is.”

I tilt my head to catch his lips and we share our first kiss as an actual, legitimate couple. It’s unrushed, sensual, deep. When we finally pull apart, I feel the tide shifting between us. By owning what was in our hearts, by finally taking what we wanted, we changed our course in a big way, and we’ve changed it forever.

“I’m calling Rose as soon as I think she’s awake to let her know I’m done with the whole Shawna thing.”

His statement, while sweet, makes me feel like a complete dick.

“You don’t have to do that, Dane. I was being stupid last night and… those weeks I closed you out. I should’ve known there was more to the story. Or in the very least, I should’ve come to you and asked. Shawna is work. I get it.”

“But you know where we live. Pictures will keep surfacing and—”

“That’s been our whole lives,” I cut in. “Pictures will surface and people will talk, but we can choose not to let that shit affect us, choose not to let it tear us down.”

When I lift his hand away from my torso and kiss it before placing it over my heart, I hope he knows I’m being sincere. The jealousy and rage I felt was due in part to holding in what I felt for him for so damn long. But now that he knows, now that we’ve moved forward, it won’t happen again.

“Joss, I—”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” I assure him. “Trust me, Rose might be batshit crazy, and Shawna wanting you might tap dance on my last nerve, but… it’s working. Your followers have skyrocketed and offers are coming in left and right.”

“Maybe, but none of that shit’s more important to me than you.”

I’m certain that, with his palm splayed flat against my chest, he feels my heart beat wildly when he admits that.

“I know. And I trust you, which is why I’m not asking you to give anything up for me,” I explain.

His eyes follow when I shift in his arms until I’m facing him, lifting my thighs to straddle his waist. On instinct, his hands push down my hips until he’s gripping my ass. I have his eyes focused right on me, which is good. He needs to hear this.

“I don’t just trust you; I know you. And despite the rage-fueled, crazy person you saw me turn into tonight, you know that’s not me either,” I remind him. “I’ll be fine. Promise.”

He searches my eyes and I let him, wanting him to know I’ve only spoken the truth to him here. Eventually, he nods, and I believe he sees I’m sincere.

“If anything ever makes you uncomfortable, or if you ever want me to let all the work shit go… just say the word. I’d do that for you.”

He makes my stomach flutter with so few words.

“I know and I appreciate that.”

A kiss lands on my collar bone and it draws a sigh from me. His arms lift, encircling my back in an embrace.

“Josslyn Grace Francois, you have my word that I’ll make you happy. Every damn day,” he promises, squeezing me tight, and I swear I hope we stay like this forever.

“There’s only one thing wrong with that statement,” I say, feeling water pool in my eyes. “You can’t make me happy, Dane. Because I already am.”