His Plus One by Kate Aster

Chapter 13

~ HAILEY ~

My skin is slathered with reef-safe sunscreen and salty droplets of water still cover my face. I can almost taste them, or maybe it’s the salt from the margarita that I’m drinking.

I’m beyond exhausted, fueled all day with nothing but the adrenaline rush that comes from spending the night with a man who made my body come to life like I’d never even dreamed it could.

After my breakfast with Freya’s mom, Graydon and I explored the historic port for a few hours, checking out all the local gift shops. Then, we met with some of his family to head out on a private catamaran tour.

Now, with the adrenaline abating, I’m having a hard time even putting together a coherent thought. And a million emotions seem to be simmering just below the surface of me, the way they do when I’m desperate for a nap.

Graydon might be used to functioning after only a couple hours of sleep. But I’m not.

About a third of our party is still in the water, enjoying the sight of tropical fish ducking behind remnants of a sunken ship. I came out early because I’m discovering a perhaps little-known fact about these stunning blue waters that surround Bermuda. They’re freaking cold at this time of year, especially out here, further from shore than where Graydon and I swam yesterday.

It’s no coincidence that the people who are still in the water right now are mostly SEALs.

I suppose they’re used to it.

I spot Graydon among the remaining snorkelers. He’s a powerful swimmer with a lung capacity I’m betting is trained rather than innate. When he dives again beneath the waves with nothing more than a snorkel mask, he’s able to stay under there a lot longer than I ever could.

Just another one of those superpowers that I suppose comes with that SEAL trident.

I find myself shaking my head. Is there anything the man can’t do with abundant skill?

Last night, the sex with him had been better than I’d ever experienced in my life—so good that I can’t help wondering why I settled for less for so long.

“Hailey, I can’t thank you enough for helping Freya’s mom this morning,” Graydon’s mom comes up alongside me and hugs me in that way that mothers do. Just like how Freya’s mom did this morning after I helped her figure out the intricacies of texting from her Apple Watch.

My mom used to hug me this way.

I remember it, snuggling next to her side in her bed as she rested. She’d drape her arm over my shoulder just like Graydon’s mom is doing right now and give a reassuring squeeze.

And I feel it again, just as I did then, that wonderful, dangerous warmth that comes with the feeling of family.

Dangerous, because this family is not mine to claim.

I force a laugh past the lump in my throat, because everyone’s treating me like I’m some kind of hero for helping Freya’s mom with her watch. “You are all making way too big of a deal over this.”

“It is a big deal. Freya’s mother sent me three texts today about tomorrow’s rehearsal dinner, and I understood every one of them. That’s a triumph.”

“Well, I’m pretty good at tech problems.”

She juts her chin in the direction of Graydon as his head pops up momentarily from the water. “And why isn’t my son sitting with you right now rather than still snorkeling? Apparently, I didn’t teach him manners very well.”

“No, no. I made him stay in the water. It’s pretty incredible under there, and he doesn’t mind the cold.”

She laughs. “Comes with his training, I imagine. Well, I’m going to get some of that rum cake they have at the snack bar. Would you like me to bring you back some?”

“Please don’t.” I send her a pleading look. Aside from the beautiful water, pink sand, and friendly people, I’m thinking that rum cake is one of my favorite things about Bermuda. It seems to greet me at every turn, and I’m struggling to resist. “I’ve had more than my share already.”

She leaves me at the side of the catamaran as I scoot closer to the edge of the boat and I sit, letting my feet dangle over the side. I dip my toes in and feel the chill of the water—such a contradiction to the warm sun on my skin.

Graydon’s head pops up, and this time he looks back toward the boat, and seeing me, gives a quick wave as he pulls the snorkel out of his mouth. “Want me to come back in?”

“No, no!” I shout back. “Stay in and get me more pictures,” I say even though I’d love to have him by my side right now. But it’s too amazing under there to have him cut his time in the water short.

I smile, watching him. But I feel my smile fade when he disappears again.

Watch it, Hailey.

Last night was… incredible. The first time. And the second time. And the third time was poised to be—up to the point when he realized he didn’t have any more condoms.

And then this morning he kicked off my day in a way I’m hoping to repeat a few more times on this trip.

I remember hearing once that the best way to get over an old love is to find a new one.

They have a point.

But it’s too early for love. Why do I have to remind myself that?

Especially now, when I’m feeling a little too emotional after so little sleep—and somuch warmth and acceptance from a family I know will abandon me the moment Graydon and I are no longer together.

Just like Stephen’s did.

“You know, you’re making me look bad. You and your tech skills,” Natasha says with a laugh as she sits next to me. “As an accountant, all I add to this family is free tax filing. But you? They’ll be calling you every time their computer crashes.”

Grinning, I give my head a shake. “It was just a little app lesson.”

“Well, you’re officially a part of the family now,” she finishes.

Then I feel it—mortifying me to my core. The faint sting of tears in my eyes.

Oh my God. What is wrong with me?

Natasha’s eyes widen. “Oh, hon. Are you okay? Did Graydon do something wrong? I’ll kill him.”

“No, no. He did nothing wrong. He does everything right.”

She bites her lower lip as she nods. “And it’s scary as hell, isn’t it?”

I feel my eyes widen. She knows the feeling?

“Yeah.” My voice is small.

“I get it. I really do. Sometimes it all seems so perfect—too perfect. And when things are perfect, you fear losing them all the more, right?”

“Yeah. You still feel that with Carson?”

“Oh, absolutely. That first time he went on a mission after we got engaged…” Her voice trails as she shakes her head. “It’s like there’s a part of me that wished I didn’t love him so damn much. Because every minute he was gone, I was imagining it—fearing it—that I’d lose him.”

Suddenly my own problems seem so small.

She frowns suddenly. “I don’t know if Graydon told you, but I’m divorced.”

I cock my head. “No, he didn’t.”

“Yeah. And it was a nasty divorce. I loved him so much—my ex. Before I found out he was cheating on me, anyway. And I didn’t think I’d love anyone again. I didn’t want to set myself up for that kind of pain.”

“I know the feeling.”

“But it seems like the ability to love only grows, you know? Our… I don’t know… capacity to do it. To love stronger. Because what I feel for Stein…Carson,” she adds the name the rest of us usually call him with a wink. “It’s so much more than what I felt for my ex-husband.”

“So how do you do it? Deal with the fear?”

She’s silent for a moment, and I see her eyes migrate toward Carson just as he pops up from the depths and gives her a wave.

Instead of answering, she asks, “Have you ever read Freya’s romance novel?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, it’s actually really good, and I’ve never been a big romance fan. But it made me look at things differently.”

“How?”

“At the end of her romance, there’s this happily ever after, you know? I guess there always is in those books. That ending where the feelings are so strong and warm and hopeful. If you’re lucky, you get one of those in your life with the man you love.”

I nod.

“Well, I think with military couples, we get more than one, you know? Every time he comes home—I’ll get that epic ending, that embrace, that kiss that feels so amazing because we were apart. And that makes it all worth it.” She shrugs. “Or at least I tell myself that.”

I smile, liking the idea of it. “It’s a good thing to tell yourself.”

“So, you do the same right now. Sure, you could just be fearful. But instead, just enjoy this moment. Kiss him like it’s your happily ever after. And don’t let anything take that away from you.”

She drapes her arm over my shoulder and gives me a sisterly squeeze. And I can feel the warmth of it inside of me, comforting me just as much as her words did.

She’s right. I could spend the entire glorious day wishing that I had always had a family surrounding me, giving me advice that bolstered my spirit like Natasha’s just did.

I could spend the day worrying that what Graydon seems to feel for me right now won’t always be there for me.

Or I could just enjoy the fact that I have it—this perfect moment in time. And maybe knowing that it might not always be there makes me appreciate it all the more.

When he comes out of the water and sits beside me, I lean into him, letting my lips savor the moisture on his mouth, the salty essence of the sea mixed with the taste of him.

I kiss him—like it’s my happily ever after, just like Natasha said.

His lips are cold and it should chill me, feeling him so close right now. But under the sunshine and with the warmth in my heart, I only feel a kind of comforting heat. My lips part, and I feel the slide of his tongue along my front teeth—tentative, probably because his family is so close by. And as much as I love being a part of this group, right now, all I want is to be alone with him again.

I breathe out a satisfied sigh when our lips part.

His brow rises. “Kiss me like that again, and I’ll take over command of this vessel and get us back to our ship so we can be alone.”

I grin, grateful he feels the same way. “I think they call that mutiny,” I warn, my tone unable to hide the sleepiness.

“You sound tired.”

My head gives a shake. “You have no idea.”

And with that, he eases my legs out of the water, turns me, and helps me stretch out on the side of the catamaran, using his lap as a pillow.

Unwillingly, I find myself giving in to the exhaustion, amplified by a decadent margarita and the gentle rocking of the boat.

I hear his family and some of Freya’s, their voices flitting in and out right along with the sound of the water lapping against the side of the boat. I could never fall asleep like this, surrounded by people I’ve only known a couple days, with my head resting on this man who is, piece by piece, claiming my heart way too quickly for me to resist.

I could never…

And yet, I feel my eyelids droop, the allure of sleep tugging at my hand until I finally let it consume me, unable to resist.

In that last moment of consciousness, images flit into my mind—of family and fish and boats and sand and a love that seems to beckon me.

And as I sink into the dream, I know it will never eclipse my reality.