Forbidden by Liliana Carlisle
CHAPTER 2
AMELIA
You didn’t love him.
I chant the sentence like a mantra in my head as I walk into my apartment, tossing my purse on the couch. Grabbing my medication off the kitchen counter, I pop two pills in my mouth and swallow them dry, hoping this time they’ll make a difference.
They rarely do.
I walk into my bathroom and turn the tap on, running myself a bath.
You didn’t love him.
I repeat the words in my head as I soak in the tub, keeping my eyes closed. Any added stress will make the headache worse, and I don’t feel like dry heaving from the agony.
It’s true. I didn’t love him.
Brian was a distraction. He was someone I dated in an attempt to feel normal.
I knew we were on borrowed time, waiting for the illness to pull us apart.
My mystery illness which has haunted me since I turned eighteen and the doctors declared me a Beta.
Despite the endless medications and tests, there’s no official diagnosis for me.
Headaches will come and go, some mild, some so severe I black out. Extreme fatigue washes over me sporadically, my limbs and eyelids so heavy I either lie down or pass out.
Words have been thrown around by medical professionals.
Cluster Headaches. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
It feels like I have the flu, just without the fever.
Permanently.
When I discovered I was a Beta, I was relieved, knowing I could continue to live my life uninterrupted by the drama of Alphas and Omegas. Then the mysterious symptoms started. But according to the doctors, I was perfectly healthy, at least on paper.
In reality, not so much.
My relationship with my family waned to the point where we talk maybe once a year. Every intimate relationship eventually crumbles. I try to hide my illness the best I can, but eventually, it’s the catalyst that destroys the partnerships.
You didn’t love him, I insist to myself again, but the tears still fall.
I may not have loved Brian, but it was nice to have companionship.
And it could have turned to love, eventually.
Maybe.
Thankfully, the pounding in my head subsides as I step out of the bath, wrapping a fluffy cream towel around myself. I pad over to my bedroom and sit on the bed, my emotions raging inside me.
Today had started off decent. I woke up to a clear head and an unusual amount of energy. I was ready to do something out of the ordinary for me—have a normal day.
And despite the heartache, I still want to.
Without a second thought, I call my best friend.
She answers on the first ring. “What’s up?” Lucy asks cheerfully.
I can’t help but feel better once I hear her voice. “Can we go somewhere tonight? I just want to forget about today.” I murmur.
She’s quiet for a moment, and I can practically hear the wheels turning in her head as she realizes what’s happened. “Absolutely,” she says. “Just say where.”
I smirk, anticipating the trouble Lucy can get us into.
With the amount of energy I still have, I refuse to waste a perfectly good Saturday.