Beauty and the Beastly Highlander by Kenna Kendrick

Chapter Fourteen

Finley had been asleep all day, and Etna didn’t dare walk back into his chambers. Even though she knew she wouldn’t have to talk to him, knocked out cold as he was, she didn’t think that she could bring herself to even look at him after what she had just found out.

How could it be true? How could Finley have killed his own wife?

It sounded impossible to Etna. Finley was many things, difficult, often unlikeable and frustrating, but Etna couldn’t bring herself to believe that he was a killer.

But I hardly ken anythin’ about him. And he admitted it himself. He confessed.

She didn’t know what to believe anymore. Perhaps she was naïve, thinking that Finley was a good man who was incapable of murder. Perhaps it was all true, and she had given a part of her heart to a terrible man.

But she couldn’t spend all her time thinking about Finley. She still had to take care of Malina, even more so now that her father was on the brink of death. Though no one had told her any details, it was unavoidable for her to have heard that there was something wrong with the Laird, and Etna hadn’t seen her so withdrawn in days.

But her hostility toward Etna hadn’t returned. It was only a crippling sadness, one that made her pay no attention to the lesson that Etna was trying to teach her in an attempt to establish some normalcy.

“Malina . . . ye’re na payin’ attention,” she told her, but Malina didn’t react. She was clutching her doll tightly in her hand, and for the first time since Etna had walked into the library that morning, she noticed that she was on the verge of tears, though they never shed.

With a sigh, Etna stood and walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Still, she didn’t know what to say.

Any soothing words that she could have for her were tainted by knowing that the Laird had killed her mother. Even if the Laird survived, Etna didn’t know how she could live with that secret. Could she keep it hidden from anyone, just like Arlene had done? Just like Lochlan, most likely, had done?

She couldn’t tell Malina that much Etna knew. She was too young to know, and though she would resent her and everyone else if she found out one day, she couldn’t do that to her. She wanted to protect her, no matter the cost.

But what about everyone else? His people deserve to ken.

A part of her, a selfish part, wished that Finley had never told her a single word about it. She wished that she wouldn’t have to carry that burden on her shoulders, and she didn’t even understand why Finley had confessed to her.

Perhaps he thought he was moments from death and wanted absolution.

But absolution wasn’t something Etna could give him. She wasn’t good at forgiving, and murder wasn’t something that she could forgive at all.

“I want to see Dadaidh,” Malina said then, pulling Etna out of her thoughts. At her request, Etna hesitated. It didn’t sound like a good idea to her to allow Malina to see her father, not only because she didn’t want him around her but also because the wound and the blood were bound to shock her if she saw them.

At least he had the decency to stay away from Malina all this time.

“I ken, mo nighean,” Etna told her as she caressed her hair, combing through her locks with her fingers. “But yer Dadaidh needs his rest, aye? I’m sure ye’ll be able to see him soon.”

“Canna I see him noo?” Malina insisted, and finally, the tears began to shed. Etna’s heart ached for her, and she wanted nothing more than to give her the whole world, but she had to keep her away from Finley, even if Malina didn’t understand the reason.

“Soon,” she promised her. “Ye want him to get better, dinna ye?”

Malina nodded silently, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her dress, a habit that Etna hadn’t managed to stop yet.

“Then ye’ll give him some time,” she said. “I’m sure he’ll be verra happy to see ye when he wakes up.”

And was that not just another lie? Was the Laird ever happy to see his daughter, or did his guilt taint every single moment he spent with her? Surely, if he had even a shred of humanity, he would be drowning in remorse every time he saw something—or someone—that reminded him of Anna.

At least her efforts seemed to have calmed Malina down, and so had the promise that she would see her father soon. Though it was hardly up to Etna, she wanted to delay it as much as possible. She was surprised that Arlene even allowed Finley near Malina, knowing what he had done. Arlene would do nothing to put her granddaughter in danger, so why would she allow Finley to see her?

Could it be that this is all a misunderstandin’? What if he didna ken what he was sayin’ because of the fever?

The rest of their lesson was slow, with Malina failing to concentrate most of the time, but Etna could hardly blame her for it. In the end, she decided to end it early and allow her to go play to at least take her mind off her father.

Once Malina was settled in her room, Etna made her way to the gardens, eager for fresh air. She wanted to stop thinking as much, to calm her mind, and she couldn’t imagine a better place than among the trees and the rose bushes. The gardens of the castle had been her favorite spot ever since she had gotten there, the only place that the Laird couldn’t ruin with his rules. The flowers didn’t care if he didn’t want them to bloom. They had a mind of their own.

A little later, Lochlan found her, sitting on one of the benches and watching two birds that flew from tree to tree. He sat next to her, his gaze following her own, and the two of them sat side by side in silence for a while.

“Willna ye ask me how the Laird is doin’?” Lochlan asked.

Etna took a deep breath. She didn’t want to talk about Finley, but with Lochlan there, the subject was unavoidable. She had half a mind to leave, but she didn’t want to be rude and petty.

“How is the Laird doin’?” she asked instead.

“He’s doin’ weel,” Lochlan said, and when Etna turned to look at him, he had a small smile on his lips. “He woke up this mornin’, briefly. The fever has gone down. The healer expects a full recovery.”

“That’s good,” Etna said, but even to her own ears, it sounded like a lie. Still, Lochlan didn’t make a comment, much to Etna’s surprise. Had Arlene not told him what had happened? Could it be that Lochlan himself didn’t know about Anna?

“The speech that ye wrote did wonders,” Lochlan said, gradually getting more excited now that he knew that his brother would live. “Everyone in the village was impressed by Finley, and I’m sure that they’ll stand by his side noo.”

“Is that so?”

Etna couldn’t share in Lochlan’s enthusiasm. Her mind was a whirlwind of mixed emotions, some telling her to trust her instincts and some telling her to trust the facts. She had never been so confused about anyone before, and the fact that she had grown to care about Finley only made it harder.

“Aye,” he said. “Ye did a fantastic job, and I’m sure that Finley gained everyone’s respect. Everyone’s. And then there was the attack, of course, and that was also verra helpful.”

Etna frowned at that, confused. “What do ye mean?” she asked. “He didna prevent the attack. Isna that what the villagers have been beggin’ for?”

“Aye, but they ken that he couldna have kent they would attack,” Lochlan said. “They were just glad that we were there, and they saw him fight for them and run into burning houses for them. They saw him risk his life and be prepared to lay it down for them. Noo they ken that he cares, that he’s doin’ the best he can.”

As Lochlan spoke, Etna was less concerned about the Laird and how likable he was to his people now and more concerned that Lochlan seemed to have no injuries on him. Even the other soldier, who had been able to stand and ride the previous night, had been covered in scrapes and bruises, but not Lochlan. He didn’t have a single scratch on him.

Etna knew that the man was rumored to be a mighty soldier, perhaps the best fighter in the entire clan, but even so, she doubted that he could have come out of such an attack completely unscathed.

“Lochlan . . . are ye na hurt at all?” she asked, trying to be subtle about her questioning. Lochlan sighed in a way that told Etna that he had been asked that question many times already.

“I’m na hurt,” he admitted. “And I ken what everyone thinks about it. But . . . but it’s na like that.” Leaning closer, Lochlan dropped his voice into a conspiratorial whisper, making sure that no one else would hear him. “I invited Mairi to the village,” he said. “She rode out one day after we left, and she met me there. I . . . I was with her at the inn when the attack happened, and I only managed to get there when the fight was almost over.”

Etna thought back to the past several hours, remembering that she hadn’t seen Mairi in a while. Lochlan’s confession made sense, but she wondered what he would say to everyone else to explain his absence since she was one of the few, or perhaps even the only one, who knew about their relationship.

And then she remembered that she wasn’t supposed to know.

With a gasp, Etna feigned surprise, but Lochlan’s smile and the shake of his head were enough to tell her that he already knew.

“Ye caught us one night, did ye na?” he asked her. “I thought it was ye. It’s alright . . . it’s actually a relief to have someone who kens about it.”

“Does na one else ken?”

Lochlan shook his head. “Na. I canna tell anyone. I’ve told Mairi to keep quiet, too.”

“Do ye . . . do ye love her?” Etna asked though it seemed like a question that was too intrusive. The way he spoke about her, though, made her think that it wasn’t just a casual relationship like she had thought at first. At the mere mention of her name, his expression softened, and so did his eyes, an almost imperceptible change if one didn’t look. But Etna was looking.

“I do,” Lochlan confessed, without any further prompting from Etna’s part. He seemed eager to talk about Mairi, and Etna couldn’t blame him, not after having to hide their relationship for so long. Surely, it had started before she had come to the castle, she thought, perhaps much earlier if Lochlan was so in love with her. “But ye ken how these things are.”

“Na, I dinna,” Etna said, giving him an encouraging smile. “What do ye mean? There’s nothin’ keepin’ ye apart, is there?”

“Weel, of course, there is,” Lochlan said. “Me brother. Mairi is a maid, and I’m sure that Finley wants me to marry someone that would help the clan since he canna.”

“If the Laird wishes to have an alliance through marriage, that’s his problem,” Etna said, emboldened by everything that she had found out about Finley. Lochlan shouldn’t care what a man like his brother thought when he was so much kinder than he was. “It’s na yers. If ye love Mairi, ye should be with her.”

“I want to ask for her hand,” Lochlan said. “But I never have the courage to talk to Finley. I think that the moment he finds out, he’ll send her away, and that is the last thing that I want.”

Etna wouldn’t be surprised if Lochlan turned out to be correct. She didn’t know many things about Finley or how his mind operated, but what she did know was that he would want his brother to marry for the good of the clan since he refused to remarry.

“Do ye think that Finley will give me his blessin’?” Lochlan asked, and he sounded so hopeful, so elated, that Etna doubted he had any suspicions about his brother. Had he known what he had done, he would surely be reluctant to speak to him about Mairi.

“I dinna ken, Lochlan,” she told him truthfully, her mind racing. “I hope so, but I dinna ken the Laird weel at all. Ye’re his brother. What do ye think?”

That seemed to give Lochlan pause, and for a moment, his face fell, dejection clear in it. But then he recovered quickly, giving Etna a smile. “I suppose I can only be hopeful,” he said. “I may ken the Laird better than anyone, but even I dinna always ken what’s going on in his mind most of the time. Yer guess is as good as mine.”

And that was what Etna feared, that she was just as likely to be right as Lochlan was. But all she could do was to keep an eye on all of them, the Laird, Lochlan, Mairi, and even Arlene, to observe them and gather information before she could do or say anything.

A part of her screamed at her to leave, to pack her things and cut her losses before something happened to her, too. But she couldn’t leave Malina, not when the girl needed her the most. She had to protect her, too.

“I think I’ll do it,” Lochlan said, and he sounded so eager that Etna’s chest constricted, her heart aching for him. “I think once Finley wakes up, I’ll ask him for his blessin’. There’s na point in waitin’, na when there can be an ambush any day that can take me life. I want to marry her before I die, Etna. There’s nothin’ more than I want than for her to be me wife.”

Lochlan’s words were like a balm to her heart. It calmed her to know for certain that at least he was a good man, even if doubt clouded every single thought she had about Finley. But if Lochlan was going to ask Finley for his blessing so soon, then she had to confront Finley first. She had to ensure that she protected both Lochlan and Mairi, as well as the rest of the clan.

She had to know the truth.

“Forgive me, Lochlan,” she said as she stood. “I must go see Malina. She’s been alone in her chambers for a while, and I dinna want to leave her alone for too long. Na with everythin’ that’s happenin’ in the castle.”

“Of course,” Lochlan said. “Tell her that Uncle Lochlan will come see her soon. I havena had the chance, what with tendin’ to Finley and the soldiers.”

“I will,” Etna reassured him and then made her way back inside the castle, passing by the kitchens and noticing that Arlene was there. It was the perfect time to visit the Laird, to talk to him without Arlene acting as a buffer. At first, she did go to Malina’s chambers, checking up on her, and once she saw that she was fine on her own, she turned around and headed for the Laird’s chambers.

It was time for him to wake up and tell Etna the whole truth. She could only hope that he wouldn’t confirm her fears.