Beauty and the Beastly Highlander by Kenna Kendrick

Chapter Twenty-Four

When they made it to Finley’s study, the first thing that Etna saw was her father, sitting there, evidently waiting for them. She frowned to herself, knowing that whatever Finley wanted to say to her couldn’t possibly be good.

She watched as Finley strolled around his desk before opening a drawer and pulling out a small pouch. He tossed it carelessly at her, and Etna barely managed to catch it in her hands.

“What is this?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer. She could hear the pouch’s contents jiggling, and she knew it was gold.

“Yer payment,” Finley said with a small shrug, taking his seat across from Dougal. “That was the deal, wasna it? Ye do the work, and I give ye enough money to go to Edinburgh. Yer faither told me everythin’.”

Etna looked at her father, cocking an eyebrow at him. “What exactly was it that me faither told ye, me Laird?” she asked.

“I had better go noo,” her father said before Finley could respond to her question, already standing up. “It seems like the two of ye need to discuss this alone.”

“Na, Faither,” Etna said, her voice cold as ice. “Stay.”

But Dougal only shook his head and rushed out of the room, leaving her and Finley alone.

“Whatever ye think that ye ken is wrong,” Etna told him. “I dinna ken what me faither told ye—”

“He explained everythin’ to me,” Finley said. “He told me everythin’ that I needed to ken. Ye’re free to leave, Etna. It’s what ye always wanted, isnae it?”

Etna hesitated. It was, indeed, what she had always wanted, but she didn’t want it anymore. “Aye, but—”

“Thank ye,” Finley said, and he didn’t even sound angry to her anymore. If anything, he sounded defeated and as though he had given up, his voice tired and devoid of any emotion. “That is all.”

Etna stared at Finley, but he didn’t even glance at her, busying himself with the papers on his desk. Etna didn’t know how to get through to him. He had closed himself off from everyone else once more, and as usual, it was impossible to change his mind.

What did me faither tell him?

“Finley, I . . . I dinna ken what me faither said, but dinna ye wish to hear what I have to say?” she asked.

“I dinna have to,” Finley said, and for the first time in a while, he finally looked at her. “I thought that . . . weel, silly as it sounds, I thought that there was somethin’ between us, whatever that may be. I . . . I can even call it love, at least from my part. After all these years, I dared to love someone again. I dared to trust another woman, and ye . . . ye didna even have the courage to tell me that ye wished to leave yerself. I had to find out through yer faither that ye were still plannin’ on goin’ to Edinburgh.”

Etna didn’t know what to say. The moment she heard that Finley loved her, her stomach twisted itself into a knot, and her ears stopped listening.

He loves me?

Do I love him?

Her father’s words came back to her, telling her that she would know when she fell in love, and they echoed in her mind. And at that moment, she knew that she had fallen for Finley, too.

She had never felt anything like it before, that fierce love for a man. It was more than just physical, much more, and Etna didn’t need to question her feelings anymore. It scared her to think that she had fallen for him so fast, but she couldn’t hide the truth from herself anymore. She knew it in her heart that she loved him and wanted to be with him more than anything.

But Finley wouldn’t listen to her, no matter what she tried.

“Leave me study, please,” Finley said then, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“But Finley—”

“Noo!”

His voice was thunder, so loud that it almost shook the walls. Etna flinched and stumbled backward, and she didn’t dare to meet Finley’s hateful gaze. Tears welled up in her eyes as she turned around and stormed off, slamming the door behind her.

Finley could be so cruel when he wanted to and so very stubborn. Etna had managed to convince him of nothing, and if anything, everything between them had gotten worse. She had been so stupid to think that she could fix anything, especially when Finley was already furious by what he perceived to be a betrayal from Lochlan. Perhaps if he cooled off, she thought, she would manage to change his mind and make him see reason. She just had to give him a little time.

But that didn’t mean that it hurt any less to see Finley like that and to hear those cruel words. They were like a knife to Etna’s gut, and they hurt her more than anything else.

“Etna!”

The voice came from the other side of the corridor, and Etna looked up just in time to see Malina running toward her. The little girl crashed into her, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs and refusing to let go.

“Dinna leave,” Malina said through sniffles, and when Etna crouched down to look at her, she saw that she was crying, big, bulbous tears running down her cheeks. Etna wiped them off with a sigh, pressing a kiss on her forehead. “Please, Etna. I dinna want ye to leave noo. I want ye to stay here, with us. Why do ye have to leave?”

Etna hated seeing Malina like that. It broke her heart every time that she was sad, and the last thing that he wanted was to become the source of her sadness. But what could she say to her? As much as she didn’t want to leave, she didn’t think that she had a choice anymore. Finley was bound to send her away, even if she insisted that she wanted to stay.

“Who said I’m leavin’?” Etna asked, deciding that perhaps it would be best to lie to Malina, I only for a little while. She wanted to try to speak to Finley again once he would calm down, to see if she could get through to him and explain her side of things to him, hoping that she wouldn’t have to leave.

“Everyone says so,” Malina said, and not for the first time, Etna cursed the speed at which gossip traveled around the castle.

“We’ll talk about it after supper, aye?” Etna asked Malina as she wiped some more tears off her cheeks. “Dinna fash yerself, Malina. I’m right here. I’m with ye.”

“So ye willna leave?” Malina asked, never one to let a subject go before it was resolved.

“As I said, we’ll talk about it later,” Etna repeated. She didn’t want to outright lie to her and set up a bad example, especially when she always tried to teach her that lying was bad. “I’ll tell ye everythin’ that ye wish to ken. But for noo, we’ll just go to yer chambers for a while until it’s time for supper.”

Malina nodded, but she still clung onto Etna, refusing to let go. Etna collected her in her arms with a sigh, picking her up and carrying her to her chambers. “I’ll come and be with ye in a moment, aye?” she said. “I just need to speak to me faither, first.”

Malina nodded, and Etna left the room, heading straight to her father’s own, hoping that she would find him there. And indeed, she found him packing, something that irked her to no end.

“What are ye doin’?” she asked him as she stepped into the room. “We didna even talk about this.”

“Etna, it’s only wise that we leave noo,” Dougal said. “Ye saw the Laird . . . this doesna involve us. We should leave before we become involved.”

“I am involved,” Etna said. “Ye may na be, but I canna leave Lochlan to rot in that cell, and I certainly canna let Finley kill him. And . . . I simply dinna wish to go, Faither. I wish to stay here.”

With a sigh, Dougal approached Etna, placing a firm hand on her shoulder. “Ye always liked to fix things,” he said. “But this isna somethin’ that ye can fix. It isna yer fight to fight. I thought ye loved Edinburgh, Etna. I thought that ye would jump at the chance to leave this place after everythin’ ye wrote to me about it. Ye hate it here.”

Etna shook her head. “Na. Na anymore,” she said. “And I’m sorry. I ken that ye took that position in Edinburgh for me, but I . . . Faither, I’m in love with Finley. I wish to stay here.”

Her father seemed speechless at her confession. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, seemingly trying to find the right words to say, but in the end, he gave up and walked to the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. Etna joined him, and she, too, had no words. Instead of speaking, she took the pouch of gold that Finley had given her and passed it to her father.

“Are ye serious?” Dougal asked.

Etna let out a hollow laugh. “Of course, I’m serious,” she said. “Why would I lie about somethin’ like that?”

“How . . . how did that even happen?” her father asked. “I thought ye hated the Laird.”

“I did when I first met him,” Etna admitted. “Faither, a lot has changed since me last letter to ye. I’m sorry, I should have told ye, but I didna ken that ye would accept a position in Edinburgh or that ye would want me to leave this place . . . I didna even ken that I loved him until . . .”

“Until ye asked me how I kent that I loved yer maither?” her father asked, and Etna nodded in agreement. “Ye dinna have to apologize to me, Etna. Nor do ye have to come to Edinburgh with me. I dinna only take the position for ye. I enjoy teachin’.”

Etna was relieved to know that she wasn’t the only reason why Dougal had taken the job. It lifted a weight off her shoulders, but there were still other thoughts plaguing her, namely those revolving around Lochlan and Finley.

“I dinna ken what to do, Faither,” she said, and her voice sounded desperate even to her own ears. The events of the day had exhausted her, and so had the way that Finley had treated her. All she wanted to do was sleep and forget it all, but she knew that sleep would never come, even if she tried. “How will I get through to him?”

“Finley was always a stubborn lad,” Dougal said with a sigh. “The best thing ye can do right noo is to leave him alone, to give him some space.”

“But what if he orders Lochlan’s execution?” Etna asked. “I canna let him do that.”

“Na . . . na I suppose ye canna,” her father agreed. “If that happens, then ye must confront him. But until then, give him some time. He might see that he’s bein’ unreasonable when he calms down.”

“If he calms down,” Etna corrected him.

“When,” her father insisted. “They always do, in the end.”

For a few moments, the two of them sat in silence. Etna twirled her thumbs, gaze glued onto her lap and mind working overtime, trying to figure out a way to convince Finley to let Lochlan go. Then, Dougal spoke once more as he dropped the pouch of gold into her hands.

“As temptin’ as this is, I dinna want it,” he said. “Give it back to Finley and tell him what ye told me. He’ll listen to ye, Etna. Once he’s calmed down, he’s bound to listen.”

Her father’s words were reassuring to Etna. Out of the two of them, she was certain that he knew Finley best, having spent so many years teaching him, and if he believed that Finley would listen to her, then she believed it, too.

“Will ye leave, then?” Etna asked. “Even though ye only just arrived?”

“I suppose I could stay a while longer,” Dougal said with a small sigh. “I did come to see ye, after all, and I havenae had the chance to talk to ye as much as I’d like. And since ye’re na comin’ to Edinburgh with me . . .”

Dougal’s voice trailed off, and Etna felt guilty for refusing to go with him, not for the first time. She wished that she could have both. She wished that she could go to Edinburgh and be with Finley, but she would never ask him to give up his clan. His place was in that castle.

“Weel, regardless,” her father said, giving her a smile, “I should go speak to Arlene. Is she alright?”

“She’s verra shaken,” Etna said as she stood, following her father to the door. “Ye should go to her, aye. I think it will do her plenty of good.”

As Dougal walked to Arlene’s room, Etna made her way to the healer’s. She had to convince the man to take a look at Lochlan’s wounds, no matter what Finley said, though the task would be impossible if the guards didn’t cooperate with them.

Perhaps I can use Arlene’s note again. She would want Lochlan’s wounds to be tended to.

Anger coursed through her once more as she thought of the damage that Finley had done to his own brother. But she tried to calm herself, knowing that Finley was only reacting in such a way because of what had happened to him in the past.

He will see reason. Surely, he will.

If only Etna truly believed that, it would make everything so much easier.