Beauty and the Beastly Highlander by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Eight
Etna ran out of the castle, her heart pounding in her chest. Her blood rushed through her veins, making her hands shake and her head throb, and she didn’t even know where she was going until she found herself outside the castle walls.
Only hours ago, it would have been easier for her to breathe there, unencumbered by the darkness of the castle, but now it was just as hard, and her lungs struggled for oxygen.
What have I done? How could I have been so foolish?
The Laird had all but kicked her out of that room, and she could hardly blame him. What had happened between them wasn’t as concerning, though, as the fact that Arlene had seen them. She could never look at her in the eyes again, she thought, and she didn’t even know how she could stay in that castle.
If she was allowed to stay, that is. She wouldn’t be surprised if the Laird kicked her out.
Though he had seemed much kinder and sweeter to Etna than she had thought. The Beast that everyone spoke of was nothing but a man, a man whose life had dealt him some terrible blows and who was still recovering from them. She was certain that the stress from the brigand attacks that were happening all over his land only made his stress worse, and though she couldn’t excuse his behavior, she was at least closer to understanding him.
But what was she supposed to do now that they had kissed? Had she not reciprocated, she wouldn’t have been so worried about the future, but she had kissed him just as fervently as he had kissed her. She had not held back. She had not pushed him away.
She had wanted it more than anything at that moment.
A part of her wished that she had never told him to clean up and shave, as she wouldn’t have found out just how handsome he was, with his strong jaw and chiseled cheekbones. His features were strong, masculine, straight nose sloping over the pain of thin yet beautifully pink lips. Etna could only describe his appearance as noble. He had the kind of face that spoke of his kindness now that it wasn’t hidden by the beard, the kind of face that belonged to a man destined to lead. Even his blue eyes seemed to stand out once all that hair was gone, and it was the first time she had noticed their color.
And that scar . . . Etna wished that she could tell him that scar did nothing to change how handsome he was. It was nothing but a story, the remnant of a past that he should remember. Perhaps it had come from an accident, or perhaps it had come from a battle. Either way, she didn’t want him to be ashamed of it.
For the rest of the day, Etna avoided both the Laird and Arlene, even skipping dinner so that she wouldn’t have to risk running into either of them. Late at night, she snuck into the kitchens, looking for something to eat while everyone else was asleep.
Or so she thought.
“There’s cheese, too,” said a familiar voice, and Etna turned to see Arlene there, looking like the cat that got the cream.
Etna cursed herself. She should have thought that Arlene would track her down sooner or later, somewhere where the two of them could be alone, but she hadn’t thought that she would stay up so late just to ambush her.
“Och, I thought I’d get a bannock, perhaps, or an apple or—”
“I’ll make us some tea, I think,” Arlene said, and it wasn’t a question or an offer but rather a demand. Etna watched her as she rummaged through the kitchen as though she had done it hundreds of times before. She seemed familiar with where everything was kept, and Etna couldn’t help but wonder why since she could just as easily have servants do everything for her.
“I like to drink some tea late at night,” Arlene said, as though reading Etna’s thoughts. “Alone. It helps me think.”
“Ye’re na alone noo,” Etna pointed out. “But I can head to me chambers, I only came to have some food and—”
“Nonsense,” Arlene said, waving a hand. She brought out a heavy teapot and filled it with water before lit a fire and placed it over it. “Ye’ll have some tea with me, will ye na? Since we’re both awake.”
Etna could hardly refuse. She nodded and took a seat at the small table that stood by the window, and she glanced outside, looking at the moon. It was almost full, she noticed, and it cast a pale glow all around her.
While Arlene was making the tea, the two shared a silence that seemed uncomfortable to Etna, though she couldn’t guess how the other woman felt. She dreaded the talk that was to follow. Would Arlene tell her to stay away from her grandson? Would she tell her to leave? Perhaps she wouldn’t want her anywhere near the Laird or Malina.
Once the tea was ready, Arlene brought two cups over to the table and sat across from Etna, watching her in silence. Etna dropped her gaze to her teacup, pretending to be fascinated by the swirling liquid.
She couldn’t meet Arlene’s gaze. She couldn’t.
“How are the lessons with Malina?” Arlene asked, much to Etna’s surprise. Stunned, she finally lifted her gaze to look at the other woman and found her smiling. “I trust that everythin’ is going weel?”
“Aye,” Etna said, glad that she had something else than the Laird to talk about with Arlene. “Everythin’ is goin’ verra weel. Malina is a darlin’ wee bairn, and she’s verra clever. I’m sure that she will be excellent at everythin’ that I teach her.”
“That’s nice to hear,” Arlene said. “She’s been alone a lot, poor lassie . . . I dinna have the same strength I used to have one, two, three years ago. The older I get, the harder it is for me to keep up with her.”
“She is rather energetic,” Etna admitted. “I even have trouble keepin’ up with her sometimes.”
“Aye, aye . . . and ye are young. Twenty-and-two?”
“Twenty-and-four,” Etna corrected.
“Twenty-and-four,” Arlene repeated to herself, humming softly as though she had made a discovery that pleased her. “Tell me . . . how’s yer faither?”
The sudden change in subject made Etna frown, but once again, she was glad that Arlene wasn’t asking about what had happened between her and the Laird. She was glad to talk about anything else than that kiss.
“He’s weel,” Etna said. “I sent him a letter; I expect him to reply soon. I can give ye all the news that he tells me then.”
“It would be nice to invite him to the castle,” Arlene said. “Yer faither is a dear friend of our family, and we all long to see him again. In fact, I think that I will send him an invitation.”
“I’m sure he’ll be verra glad to come here and see ye all again,” Etna said. The more the two of them spoke, though, the more nervous she became. She couldn’t understand why Arlene was asking her questions about such things, why she was making small talk instead of talking about what she really wanted to talk about. Etna didn’t believe for a second that the tea and the conversation that they were having had nothing to do with the kiss she had witnessed.
“Ye’re an only child, are ya na?” Arlene asked then, continuing her interrogation.
Etna nodded. “Aye. Me parents never had the chance to have another bairn.”
“Shame, that,” Arlene said with a sigh. “It’s a blessin’ to have a big family. Do ye want a big family one day?”
It was then that Etna realized what Arlene was doing. She was trying to get to know her better, though she couldn’t understand to what end. Could it be that she simply wished to know more about her? Could it be that she had no hidden agenda?
“I do, aye,” Etna said. She wanted many children, as she loved them dearly, and they brought her so much joy. She was in no rush to marry, especially since she wanted to go back to Edinburgh. That was her main goal, and everything else would have to wait.
Besides, she had only just started tutoring, and she doubted that she could continue doing that if she had children. Her father was fortunate enough to be a man, and he could travel and stay away from the house even after he had a child. She wouldn’t have the same luxury, she knew.
She wanted to enjoy tutoring as much as possible before settling down and had children of her own.
Arlene continued to ask Etna question after question, and Etna answered them all until their tea was cold, and Arlene was satisfied. In the end, Etna noticed that there had been no mention of the Laird the entire time.
“Weel . . .” Arlene said as she stood from her chair slowly as if the late hour had weighed her down. “I think that it is time I retire to me chambers, my dear. Do get some rest before yer lesson with Malina the morrow, will ye?”
“I will,” Etna promised. With that, Arlene left the kitchen, leaving Etna alone to consider everything that they had talked about.
She still couldn’t imagine a single reason why Arlene had asked her all those questions, but she did know that she had been sneaky about it. It seemed to her as though there was something that the other woman wasn’t telling her, but she couldn’t possibly think of what that could be.
Besides, Arlene had been nothing but kind and accommodating to her the entire time she had been at the castle. What did it matter if she was a little odd? She was an old woman, after all. Perhaps all there was to it was that she was lonely so late at night, and she wanted someone to talk to.
Etna decided that it was the only logical solution. After cleaning the table, she headed back to her chambers, now comfortable walking through the dark corridors of the castle. Her bed, like her entire room, was warm and inviting, and she settled under the covers with a soft, content sigh.
The first thought on her mind when her head hit the pillow was the Laird. Finley. The kiss that they had shared had awakened something in her, something that she couldn’t ignore. The memory replayed itself in her head over and over, and no matter how much she tried to push it away, she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
What am I to do? I canna think about him in such a way.
It was inappropriate, and it couldn’t lead to anything good, she knew. Surely, the Laird would never want a serious relationship with her, and Etna didn’t want anything less than that. She didn’t want to be his dirty secret, nor did she want to be discarded when he would find someone more suitable.
She decided that there would never be anything between the two of them. She would keep her distance from him, and she would make sure that she would never be alone with him, not even for a moment. Any relationship they would have would be professional, and by the end of it all, she would have enough money to move back to her beloved Edinburgh. Once there, she would never have to see the Laird again, and she would never have to think about those lips or the feel of his body against her.
Until then, I’ll try me best to na kiss him again.
