The Spark by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 29
Autumn
Sex without an emotional connection could be physically fulfilling, but truly having feelings for someone brought things to a whole new level—a place I’d forgotten even existed, or maybe I’d never actually ever known.
After Donovan went down on me, we laid on the couch talking for a long time. I traced the outline of one of the smaller, black-and-white tattoos on his arm.
“Is there a reason all your tattoos are black and white?”
He shrugged. “I got the first few that way, and I guess I just haven’t felt like any new ones needed to stand out more than the others.”
“Does this one have any special meaning?”
It was a small bird closed into a birdcage.
“I got it when I was sixteen. It pretty much summed up the way I was feeling back then. I felt like that bird.”
“I didn’t realize you could get tattoos that young.”
“You can get anything in the old neighborhood. Might not be in a shop that has a license, but a lot of guys tattoo out of their houses.”
“Oh.”
Donovan smiled and stroked my hair. “Not how it’s done in Old Greenwich, Connecticut?”
I chuckled. “Probably not.” I rubbed my finger over the lonely little bird. “I think I can relate to this guy, too. Except you felt like you were locked in by your environment. I locked myself in voluntarily the last six years. To be honest, I even struggled with sex. I thought I was broken,” I said.
Donovan tilted my chin to look up at him. “What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t have an orgasm the way I just did. I only had them during actual sex, and only if I was on top.”
Donovan frowned. “You needed to keep control. That’s understandable.”
“But I don’t want that with you. Will you promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“Don’t treat me like glass.”
His brows furrowed. “Is that what you think I just did? Having you ride my face was treating you like you’re fragile?”
I smiled. “No, definitely not. But you were hesitant at the beginning, and we had a conversation where you asked what was off limits.”
“You’d made some rules, Autumn. I’ve been tiptoeing around, trying not to break them.”
“Exactly—exactly what you just said. Tiptoeing. I don’t want you to feel like you need to do that. It took me a while to get here because I was scared, but I’m here now, and I don’t want you to hold anything back anymore.”
He studied my face. “Are we talking emotionally or sexually?”
“Both.”
His thumb caressed my cheek. “So it’s okay to tell you I’m head over heels for you? That I think about you all day long, and that my entire life lacked purpose until the day I met you? That you give me a purpose in life, and that’s to make you happy?”
I almost couldn’t breathe. Donovan flashed a boyish grin. “Too much?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not too much. You just caught me by surprise is all.”
He smiled. “Okay.”
“And sexually, too. Don’t hold back. I mean it. I want the edge you had with me that weekend we were together, before you knew what had happened to me. It’s hard for me to admit, but you can be sort of bossy when we fool around, and I actually really love it.”
A wicked grin spread across his face. “Oh yeah? You like me bossy in bed?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head. Lord knows your ego is big enough.”
Donovan shifted us on the couch so I was now on my back, and he lay on his side. He helped slip the rest of my clothing off before tracing an imaginary line from my collarbone to my breast, up and over my nipple, and down to my navel before following the same path back up to my mouth. He tapped my bottom lip. “So…no limits, then?”
Our eyes met, and I shook my head.
I watched as the light blue of his eyes darkened again. “So putting you down on your knees with your hair wrapped in my hands and fucking your face? That’s okay?”
I swallowed. Jesus. I was getting turned on just thinking about it, so I nodded.
“Nice.”
His hand again traveled down to my breasts, and he pinched my nipple hard before rubbing between my cleavage. “And sitting on your chest while I slide my cock in and out of here and coming on your neck? That’s okay, too?”
I swallowed again, but nodded.
“Beautiful.” Donovan’s hand dipped down to between my legs. I was already wet, but he ran his fingers up and down, spreading the moisture before gently slipping a finger inside.
I gasped and arched my back.
“Fingers? So no limit on how many inside of you?”
I shut my eyes as he started to move in and out. After a few wet pumps, he added a second finger.
“Two fits nice and snug, but I think at least another one will feel good, maybe even a vibrator sometimes. You do have one of those, don’t you, sweetheart?”
I opened my eyes and nodded.
He smiled and sped up the pump of his hand. “Good. I can’t wait to use it on you. Maybe when I take you from behind. Is your ass off limits?”
My eyes widened, and Donovan smiled and withdrew his fingers. “Just clarifying if you really mean no limits.”
I shook my head. “I’ve never…done that.”
“Opposed to trying?”
“I don’t think so.”
Donovan leaned forward and brushed his lips with mine before sliding his mouth over to my ear. “I’m in no rush, but I am looking forward to making that mine now that I know it will be your first time.” He looked into my eyes with so much intensity. “Anything else we need to discuss?”
My chest was rising and falling so fast. “I don’t think so.”
He grinned. “Good.”
The next thing I knew, he was standing, and he scooped me up off the couch and tossed me over his shoulder.
I giggled. “What are you doing?”
He swatted my bare ass as he headed toward my bedroom. “Taking you to bed so I can have my wicked way with you, now that you just took the cuffs off.”
I kicked my feet, but loved every minute of it. “Owww.”
“No limits, sweetheart. Get used to a little pain. This ass is going to have many handprints on it.”
Inside the bedroom, I expected him to fling me on the bed. But he didn’t. Donovan set me down gently, tossed his wallet on the nightstand, and straddled me sitting up as I lay in the center of the bed. We were both smiling so big.
He tugged his shirt over his head and leaned down to press his lips to mine. “I love this smile. It does things to me.”
Getting a look at all the ripples on his eight-pack abs, I ran my fingers up and down, over the peaks and valleys of his muscles. “This does things to me.”
Donovan caught my hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing my palm. The way he looked at me, with so much reverence in his eyes, made me feel warm all over, even though I was completely naked.
He lowered his body on top of me and took my mouth in a kiss while he pushed his pants down his legs. The warmth and hardness of his erection against my stomach made me desperate. God, I wanted him so badly, and my body was wet and aching for him. When our kiss broke, he reached over to the nightstand and pulled a condom out of his wallet, tossing everything else to the floor.
My body tingled with anticipation as I watched him use his teeth to rip open the wrapper. He sheathed himself and settled between my legs once more, looking deep into my eyes as he pushed inside me.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “It’s heaven in here.”
He rocked in and out gently, taking his time to make sure I was ready. Even though I’d touched him before, I’d forgotten just how long and thick he was, and my body needed some gentle encouragement to accept all of him. When he was finally deep inside, his arms shook, and he stilled as he looked into my eyes.
“You’re so beautiful.”
I felt a rush of emotion. “So are you.”
He kissed me softly. But before long, the gentle thrusts turned hard, and the strain became evident in his face. Sweat bathed our skin, and everything except for our wet bodies slapping each other faded into the distance. The sound was utterly erotic, and my body was barreling toward climax. Veins bulged in Donovan’s neck as he grinded down, creating friction against my clit, and I lost my battle of self-control.
“Donovan…” I yanked at his hair. “Don’t stop…”
He bit down on my shoulder, and my body flew over the edge. Orgasms were normally something I chased, but not today. Today, I struggled to not let it run me over. My muscles pulsated, and my eyes closed while wave after wave of ecstasy wracked through my body.
“Open,” he rasped. “I want to watch you.”
It was a struggle, but I kept my eyes locked with his. Finally, as the waves started to crest, Donovan quickened his pace, moving toward his own finish until he groaned and buried himself within my body one last time. Even through the condom, I could feel the heat seeping out of him and spilling into me.
Most men I’d been with over the years would roll over onto the bed or get up and go to the bathroom after. And if they didn’t, I did. We hadn’t made love, and I’d never wanted those intimate moments after, but I craved them with Donovan almost as much as the actual act.
He wiped a sweaty strand of hair from my face. “How big of a wuss would you think I was if I said that felt almost…holy?”
I laughed. “I might think I went to the wrong church growing up.”
He brushed his lips with mine. “I wish I didn’t have to get up and deal with this condom. I want to stay right where I am…maybe tie you up and keep you underneath me for a few days.”
I cupped his cheek. “You don’t have to tie me up. I’m not going anywhere this time.”
Donovan smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
He climbed out of the bed, and I propped myself onto my elbow to watch him walk to the bathroom naked.
“Hey, tight ass,” I yelled as he reached the doorway.
He turned around with a grin. “Yes?”
“You might not have to tie me up to keep me anymore, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy you doing it anyway.”
He chuckled and mumbled as he left the room. “You’re going to be the death of me. I just know it.”
***
I woke to blinding light shining in my eyes. A ray of sunshine had streaked in from between two wayward blind slats and landed right on my face. I shielded my eyes with my hand and looked over at the end table to the clock.
11:33? Could that be right? I grabbed for my cell to double-check. It had been years since I slept this late. But sure enough, it was indeed almost noon.
I couldn’t help the smile that crept onto my lips as I recalled the reasons I’d slept in—the many, many reasons. Donovan and I had had marathon sex. I wasn’t even sure how many times we’d done it, but the last time had been with the most gorgeous light. Dawn had just broken, and that yellowish-gold morning sun had streamed in through the blinds like it was doing now. Only then, the streak had landed on Donovan’s handsome face while I was on top of him, rocking myself to yet another blissful orgasm. His jaw was peppered with stubble, and his eyes blazed the most incredible blue. The gold from the sun had made them seem almost translucent. But it was his smile that took my breath away. He seemed so truly happy watching me, and it made the moment that much more intimate.
My body ached in the most delicious way right now, and between my legs was swollen. But just thinking about the way he’d looked made my body not care how sore it was. So I rolled over to see how deep of a sleep the sexy man next to me was in, only to find he wasn’t sleeping at all. Patting the sheets, my hand met cold. Apparently I was the only one who’d slept in. Tugging the sheet from the bed, I wrapped it around my body and went in search of Donovan.
My apartment was quiet, and he was nowhere to be found, but the smell of coffee wafted through the air. I followed my nose to the kitchen and found a fresh pot of coffee with an orchid sitting next to it. Beneath the plant was a note.
Had to run to the office to pick up a file. When I was eight or nine, I asked Bud about sex. He wouldn’t give me any of the gritty details, but he told me the most important part of being with a woman was making sure she was fed the next morning. So there’s a yogurt and fruit parfait in the fridge and a buttered bagel on the counter. I wasn’t sure what you would be in the mood for. I set the coffee for eleven, taking a guess you’d sleep at least four hours. Be back by noon with lunch.
X
Donovan
P.S. Your place needs more plants, and this one reminded me of you. Most people don’t understand orchids and think they’re fragile, but they’re actually not. The truth is, they’re far tougher than anyone realizes, and of course beautiful.
I held the note to my chest like a schoolgirl. Seriously? This man was too good to be real. He was gorgeous and tough on the outside, but inside he was soft and almost vulnerable. I sighed and set the note down to pour myself a much-needed coffee.
A little before twelve, I decided to jump in the shower before Donovan returned. I left the door open to the bathroom, so I could hear if he knocked before I got out. But I was just wrapping myself in a towel when he did.
“Hey,” I opened the door.
Donovan’s eyes swooped down and back up again. “Damn.” He thumbed down the hall and held up a box. “The Amazon delivery guy was just about to knock to deliver this when I told him I’d take it. You would’ve made that kid’s day.”
I smiled coyly. “Just the kid’s day, not yours?”
He stepped inside and wrapped an arm around my waist, dragging me close to brush his lips with mine. “You made my day a few times before the sun rose.”
The way he looked at my lips when he spoke gave me butterflies.
“I think we made each other’s day.”
Inside my apartment, Donovan set the box down on the kitchen counter. “What time did you finally wake up, sleepyhead?”
“Oh my God. Not until eleven thirty.”
“Is that from the Ambien on your nightstand? I didn’t see you take one.”
I blinked a few times. Holy shit. I hadn’t taken a sleeping pill last night. That was the first time I’d fallen asleep in almost six years without some sort of chemical assistance. “I…I didn’t take one.”
Donovan grinned. “Does that mean my dick is better than drugs?”
He was of course being cheeky, but he didn’t understand how significant not taking anything was for me.
“I haven’t slept a single night without a pill in nearly six years, Donovan.”
His smile fell away. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Never even after…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, it might be the Neanderthal in me but I can’t finish that sentence. Just the thought of you with another man…”
“No, never. Not once. I keep a bottle in my bag and a bottle at my bedside. A few years back, I was really into running. I did a half marathon and then went to an after party. I was exhausted when I got home and thought it might be the night I could do it. But it’s not a physical thing; it’s mental. No matter how tired my body is, my brain won’t turn off.”
“I guess we found the tipping point for flipping that switch. It might be hard to keep up with what we did last night, but I’m game to try. I’ll happily replace your pills.”
“That’s very noble of you, but I don’t think it was the exertion as much as something else.”
Donovan’s brows drew together. “What, then?”
“I felt safe.”
I watched as he swallowed what I’d said. I felt safe. Something so simple, yet it meant everything to me.
Donovan closed the gap between us and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “I want to give you the world, but you just gave it to me by saying that, Red.”
