Consumed by Deception (Deception Trilogy #3) by Rina Kent

“No, she doesn’t, but she recognizes you as a danger.”

I pretend those words don’t cut through me like a blunt fucking knife. “She said that?”

“Yes.”

“What else did she say?”

“That there are scary men outside her room and that she didn’t do anything wrong. She also seems to believe she’s Winter Cavanaugh and even relayed her life events. From what you told me, she already met Winter and talked to her, so the fact that she knows all the details isn’t a surprise.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“She’s dissociating, Mr. Volkov.”

“Dissociating?”

“It happened due to the traumatic event she experienced, and other factors from her childhood, combined with adulthood traumas, are most likely what led her to this state. I believe her case to be a form of dissociative fugue. She doesn’t realize that she’s experiencing a memory loss and has invented a new identity to fill the gaps.”

“And how do I stop her from dissociating?”

“You can’t. She currently believes herself to be Winter and if you tell her otherwise or force it on her, she might get worse and develop other critical types of dissociations.”

“Are you telling me to sit by and do nothing?”

“Something like that. She needs to find her old self on her own. Her neurosis is quite strong right now. In other words, her mind is very fragile and she’s the only one who can build it back up. Any form of duress will have the exact opposite effect. In fact, victims of dissociation escape into their minds as a response to trauma or abuse.” She stresses the last word even as she tries to avoid my gaze.

It takes everything in me not to snap her neck and show her what true abuse is like. Instead, I hold onto my cool so I can get the answers out of her. “What does she need now?”

“A change from her usual habitat would be great. She also needs a supportive entourage and no judgmental dialogue. In order to open her mind again, Lia has to feel safe.”

“And you don’t think that will happen if she’s in my company.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You were thinking it.”

“Well, yes, Mr. Volkov. I told you, she considers you a threat, and since she doesn’t really remember you, being in your presence will make her case worse.”

“How about our son? He’s five years old.”

“I’m afraid that in her current state, he’ll do more harm than good. She thinks herself to be Winter and that she lost a child. If she sees another child this soon, it might backfire and lead to further complications. Her psychosis is quite volatile and unpredictable right now and it’s better not to put pressure on her mental state. Give her time and try to fill the gap for him as much as possible.”

“What if I talk to her?”

“You talking to her is the reason she’s been having those panic attacks. She believes herself to be Winter and you keep calling her Lia.” She pauses. “It’d be better to put some distance between the two of you for now.”

I want to tell her that won’t be happening.

That there’s no way I’m leaving Lia alone.

Fuck psychotherapy and all its nonsense. Lia and I will write our own story, and for that to happen, she needs to stay by my side.

However, I’ve seen my wife’s panic attacks. I’ve witnessed the numbness in her eyes, and before that, I experienced her complete surrender when she jumped off that cliff.

Deep down, I know I need to let her go.

Even if only temporarily.

Even if it means shredding a fucking piece of my chest.

Dr. Taylor says something about recommending a fellow psychotherapist so that I’ll leave her alone, but I shoo her away with two fingers. She hurries down the hall, her heels clicking along as she keeps staring back at me and Kolya.

I face the window with drawn shutters and although I can’t see Lia inside, I can feel her.

She’s become a part of me.

At the beginning, I only got close to her because of who she is and the role she plays in my system. However, she slowly but surely has become an integral part of my life.

She made me lose control more than once when I thought myself incapable of such blasphemy.

Lia didn’t just challenge me, she also seeped under my skin and clashed into my bones.

Now, I have to let her go for her own good.

Because even though I need her in my life and crave the softness she brings to my ragged edges, I have apparently cut her too deep that I didn’t only reach the flesh, but I also severed tendons and veins.

I told her I would be there for her until her scars healed, but I ended up adding a few of my own.

“Hey, Kolya.” My voice is lethargic, low.

“Yes, Boss.”

“Do you also believe I suffocated Lia?”

My second-in-command hesitates before touching the short blond hairs at his nape. “Honestly? I believe you suffocated each other.”

I face him. “How so?”

“You didn’t give her many choices and she retaliated by being cold and putting distance between you two. She did that to protect herself, I believe, but you’re not a patient person, so the situation kept mounting until we reached this phase.”

“You’ve had those beliefs all along?”