Ruin (Rhodes #1) by Rina Kent

                             It’s been over a month since he got shot. He seems fully recovered now. He even went back to work a few days ago. Today is the first time we’ve ridden after his recovery.

                             My eyes wander to his broad shoulders, perfectly outlined by his riding jacket. The khaki trousers give his long muscular legs their due. He’s definitely back to shape. God, why does he have to be so beautiful? My poor heart is unable to take such torture.

                             Not like Aaron has been around to torture me.

                             Since we had our second kiss, he withdrew into himself. Kane took care of him and I was, once again, locked in my room. As if I did something entirely unforgivable and had to be punished for it.

                             But this afternoon, Aaron barged into the room, appearing as handsome as ever, and asked me to ride with him. Being me, I followed him out.

                             I missed the estate’s fresh air, birds’ chirping, and Silver’s attitude. But most of all, I missed the man walking by my side. He hasn’t uttered a word during the entire stroll. I poked him every way possible, but he seemed to have transformed into the mute from his childhood. I eventually held my tongue, too. To initiate conversation, I had to step over my injured heart. Aaron crushed it all over again by subtly ignoring my existence.

                             Enough is enough. No matter how much I yearn for him, I have pride. I’m not a toy for him to toss then go back to when he’s in the mood.

                             Handing Silver’s reins to the stable boy, I storm back into the quarters, uncaring if Aaron is on my heels. I lock myself in my room and strip from the riding clothes.

                             Streams of the shower’s hot water flush my skin, but they don’t erase the ache in my chest. They don’t burn Aaron out of my heart.

                             The bastard.

                             If he doesn’t care about me, then why does he keep me? Why would he kiss me so feverishly as if his life depended on it, then push me away right after?

                             Although I want to be there for him, he keeps building a fortress to chase me out of view. How am I supposed to climb? Why do I even insist on climbing?

                             You kind of love him, Mae.

                             I pull at my hair. Pain stabs at my roots, but self-loathing is a lot stronger. God, why him? Why do I have these feelings for him? My persistence doesn’t help. I always go back to his side, reach for him, simply talk to him. Especially since he doesn’t appear to be doing well lately. Sometimes, he zones out, his eyes turn blank, seeming lost somewhere out of this world.

                             With a deep sigh, I step out of the shower.

                             After putting on my sleeping robe and tucking myself in bed, Eva’s journal peeks out at me. Do I want to be like his mother and ignore the issue until it’s too late? Can I really be a bystander in Aaron’s destruction?

                             I jump to my feet. I’m not Eva. I’m Mae. Things will go my way. Even if the opponent is someone impossibly headstrong called Aaron.

                             I push away the covers and head to his bedroom. When I reach the door, my steps falter. My breaths come out in an unsteady rhythm. I’ve stood in front of his room in the last few days, but it was always locked. Although I knocked and knocked, he wouldn’t come out. Like he’s hiding from me.

                             Now, it’s open. Only a crack, though.