Ruin (Rhodes #1) by Rina Kent

                             Until then, Mae needs to go.





                             Chapter Twenty-Six

                             Mae



                             It hurts.

                             My breaths. The strangling of my sobs.

                             It aches.

                             Being here. Loving Aaron. Fighting a losing war.

                             It’s all so damn painful.

                             No more tears come out. I’ve cried until I can no longer shed them.

                             The little warmth that once illuminated my path is no longer shining. Whatever hope dissipated.

                             I always thought perseverance can get me anywhere. As long as I want to do something, I’ll work hard to achieve it.

                             That belief crumbled with Aaron.

                             For the first time, I face an unmoving wall. I tried everything. I begged, cried, offered my heart and body. But nothing I did or said made Aaron challenge the darkness and evil implemented in him. Maybe it’s easier for Aaron to live this way. Perhaps I was hurting him all along by pushing him. It must be hard to erase something that blends with his spirit and flows in his blood.

                             Aaron’s way to cope with his demons is to kill. Not doing so is murdering him. Slowly. Painfully. Yet, killing still made him dive deeper into a one-way road of madness.

                             Yesterday. Today. The other day in the art studio. He looked completely lost as if an unknown entity snatched his soul and left him barren. It’s much worse than the first day he brought me here. At least back then, he was composed and confident of himself.

                             At least back then I didn’t love him.

                             I can’t watch him succumb to his dark end. I’m not Eva. I won’t be able to take it for years. It’ll eat away at me to see him drown and not pull him to the shore. Not that he wants my help.

                             My lips tremble, fresh tears sting my eyes. Is my existence that much of a torture for him?

                             With heavy legs, I stroll to the bathroom. It smells like Aaron; entangled, enchanting, and far. He’s so far away. I can’t reach him no matter how much I try. It’s clear that he’s fighting the urge to murder me. He’ll end up killing me then killing himself. We’ll be an incarnation of his parents.

                             More tears cascade down my cheeks. It’s useless. Fighting is useless.

                             My gaze darts to the mirror. The person who stares back is a little familiar. A ghost that resembles me. Her eyes are hollow, lifeless. This morning’s flushed cheeks are replaced by an unearthly paleness.

                             Looking at the ghost of myself hurts.

                             God. Why does it hurt this much?

                             My fist swings and connects with the mirror. The ghost disappears when the glass smashes to pieces with a clashing sound.