Shadowed (Team Zero #4) by Rina Kent

Disappointment and hurt flash on her face. I hate myself for it. I only wanted to keep her at a distance, but it’s backfiring.

Everything backfires when it comes to Zoe.

She quickly tucks her feelings away and flushes me a bored look. “You won’t be getting anything from me anymore, so you better find a new toy.” She mimics my smile. “Got it, monster?”

I’m preparing a few choice words for her, but she pushes past me. I stare at her back as she saunters to the storeroom. Two clear thoughts run in my head.

One, I can’t let her close because the ugliness will be repulsive.

Two, I want her close so she’d see it all and I can swallow her whole.

“What are you doing?” Ghost appears by my side, his gaze focused and calculative.

He’s been keeping me on a tight leash these days. He knows boxing helps with purging the extra energy so we go at it every morning for hours on end.

I run a hand through my hair. “Mate, I don’t know what Mist has told you, but I’m in top shape.”

“Mist doesn’t have to tell me anything. One look into your eyes and it’s as clear as damn day.” He bores his dark gaze into mine. “They’ve been robotic for weeks now. Are you even detoxing?”

I break eye contact but smile. “Detoxification works differently for each of us. Remember?”

“You’re the only one without progress.” Ghost sighs and softens his tone. “What is this about?”

“Are we going to have a moment now?” I tease. “I love you, mate, but I’m not ready for a committed relationship.”

His expression remains stone cold.

I leave him and start down the hall. “Don’t make a castle out of a molehill. It’s nothing.”

He falls into step with me. “The saying is: don’t make a mountain of a molehill.”

“Same thing.” I quicken my pace, hoping he’ll go.

No such fucking luck.

“I’ve known you for decades. I might not remember much from when we were Omega-heavy, but I know when you’re hiding something.”

“I’m not,” I grit out.

“Mist is right. Zoe doesn’t deserve this drugged part of you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So now you’re Team Mist?”

“I’m Team Logic. Have you looked in the mirror? You appear like a shadow of a person.” He pauses, and I know that whatever he’ll say next won’t be to my liking. “Are you scared that if you detox, you’ll go back to being that boy from decades ago?”

My jaw clenches. “That boy is dead.”

Ghost’s gaze roams over me like he’s searching for a shard of the past, but maybe he sees the hollowness, too. “Is he?”





“Nonna, am I hollow?”

She’s completely unfazed by my weird, sudden question. She sits across from me in her office with that flannel blanket on her knees and takes a sip from her tea, appearing deep in thoughts.

“Sometimes.”

I sip my own tea while dealing with a splitting headache. I cut down on Omega and those elf bitches take the chance to dig into my head. Good luck trying to conquer my head, bitches.

Ghost’s words from two days ago have gotten to me. Not to mention that he’s been surveilling me.

It’s one thing to be called hollow, but it’s entirely another to feel like someone with no purpose or need in life. Like I could die any second and no one would miss me.

Except for Ghost and Nonna.

Maybe that’s why I don’t want them to see me as an empty box.

Nonna’s thin lips pull in a faint smile. “I still believe that my Angelo is there somewhere.”

“What if he isn’t?”

“Listen here, boy. Since you refuse to tell me, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I sense my Angelo in the room, so give him back.”

I smile faintly. “Angelo was Rubbish Boy. He reminds me of the weakness, the cold, and being beaten up to bloody unconsciousness. I refuse to be that weakling again.”

Nonna stands and approaches me with measured steps. She holds my face in her wrinkled hands and gives me a stern look. “Being beaten up isn’t bad. It means you survived and continue surviving, but this?” She taps my forehead. “Building walls in your mind doesn’t mean you’re strong. It means you’re hiding.” Nonna offers her warm smile that’s full of nostalgia. “My Angelo might not have had the physical strength, but he never backed down or hid and always remained strong.” She smacks me on the shoulder. “Give him back.”

I lower my head and focus on the old tiles, unable to look her in the eyes. I don’t know how to fulfil her wish. I’ve been Shadow for as long as I can remember. Any other route seems too late now.

How can someone fill themselves up after being at peace with the emptiness?

The void meant feeling nothing. Fucking nix. I was able to kill and have fun without bothering with the consequences. Now, I’m supposed to erase that and start anew?

Start where? With fucking emotions?

I don’t do those. I can quit Omega – if I want to, but then what? I won’t be as efficient without that drug pumping through my veins.

“Where’s Zoe?” Nonna asks from her seat.

The mere mention of her name puts me in a darkened mood. She’s been true to her words and erased me as if I didn’t exist. Add Mist’s meddling and I don’t even get to see her in the main club anymore.