Devil in Disguise (The Ravenels #7) by Lisa Kleypas

“No, I would never say that. You know I wouldn’t! But most men want sons to carry on the family name and bloodline.”

“I’m no’ one of them,” Keir snapped.

He wasn’t shouting, precisely, but his intensity unnerved Merritt. She hesitated, unsure how to reply.

“I’m sorry,” she said humbly. “I assumed you would feel strongly about having children of your own blood—and I’ll never be able to give that to you.”

“I dinna need a broodmare, I need a wife.”

At the sight of her woebegone face, Keir’s impatience vanished. With a soft groan, he pulled her into the tough, warm haven of his embrace. He smoothed her hair and pressed her head to his shoulder. “Blood is no’ what binds a family. Love is.” His warm breath filtered down to her scalp. “How many bairns do you want? We could have a dozen if it pleases you. ’Tis the same as loving any other child. And you’d be such a fine, good mither—the beating heart of the family.” His fingers slid beneath her chin to angle it upward. “As for your late husband,” he continued, “I liked the man, and I dinna wish to speak ill of someone who can’t defend himself. But I’ll say what I would have told him while he was still living: It was no’ the time to be leaving you when he did. His loss was no greater than yours. You were the one who most needed comforting.”

“I had family and friends for that. Joshua knew they would help me through it.”

“It was a husband’s place to help you through it as well.”

“You don’t know what you would have done, if you’d been in his place.”

“I do,” Keir said firmly. “I would have stayed with my wife.”

“Even knowing there was nothing you could have done for me?”

His gaze didn’t move from hers. “Staying there doing nothing would have been doing something.”

Merritt felt her face contorting as she struggled to control her emotions. “Sometimes …” She had to pause and clear her throat before continuing. “… I find myself wishing he’d married another woman who could have given him children. Then he’d still be alive.”

“Lass, you dinna know that. He might have taken the same ship, on that same day, for a different reason. Or he might have married a woman who could have given him bairns but made his life a misery.” Keir cupped her cheek in his hand. “If he could, I think he’d tell you what a joy you were to him, and ask you no’ to remember him with guilt.” His blue eyes, the lightest color of sky, stared into her watering ones. “Ah, love,” he said gently, “I’d die in his place, if bringing him back would stop you from blaming yourself.”

She stiffened in horror at the thought. “Don’t say that.”

His thumb eased over the tiny, tense muscles of her jaw in gentle circles. “Soft, now,” he murmured. “None of it was your fault. Promise me you’ll be as kind to yourself as you’d be to someone else.”

Closing her eyes, she nudged her cheek into his palm and nodded.

“Say it,” he prompted.

“I promise to try,” Merritt said, and let out a wavering sigh. “But what’s to be done now?”

“About us? We’ll come to the right decision, you and I. Later. For now … let’s go to bed.”

Her eyes flew open. She gave him a dumbfounded look. “Here? Now?”

“My arms ache to hold you,” he said. “No’ just for a little while. For a long time.”

“Oh, I don’t think …” Floundering, Merritt lowered her forehead to his shoulder. “It wouldn’t solve any problems.”

He made a sound of amusement in his throat. “It would solve at least one of mine.” His lips slid lightly over the outer edge of her ear. “I’ll do some begging, if that would sway you.”

“Keir, it was a mistake the first time we did it.”

“Aye, and I’m after making it again.”

She drew her head back to give him a scandalized glance. “In the middle of the afternoon?”

There was a dance of mischief in his eyes. “There’ll be no one to hear us. Thursday is when the servants polish the silver downstairs in the dining room.”

“They’ll still know,” Merritt said, wincing at the thought. “With all the commotion we’ve made, it’s hardly a secret that we’re alone in my bedroom.”

“Merry, honey-love … I want you too badly to give a damn who knows.” Keir smiled down at her with a charm that cast sunspots across her vision. “Come to bed with me, my heart. There are worse ways to spend an afternoon.”

It would have taken a woman made of far sterner stuff to resist him.

Merritt went to lock the door and turned to find Keir undressing beside the bed. Her heartbeats tumbled together like a row of ninepins as she watched him unbutton the half placket of his shirt. He lifted the garment over his head, revealing a torso that was sleek and layered with muscle, his chest covered with a light mat of glinting hair. She was amazed by how beautiful he was. But as she saw him wince while lowering his arms, she frowned in concern.

“You’re still healing,” she said. “Is it too soon for this?”

“No.”