Revealing the Monster (Playing with Monsters #4) by Amelia Hutchins

I could make out Devlin, Bane, and Layton in the crowd, each watching for any threat. The song changed, and Erie wrapped her arms around me, buzzed from the drink as it filtered through our systems.

“I love ambrosia and the warmth it leaves behind,” she sighed, smiling brightly, while resting her head against my shoulder. “So, what has gotten you so upset?” she asked, unsurprisingly.

Erie may be bat shit crazy, but she was observant. There wasn’t much that would get past her or go unnoticed beneath her perceptive gaze. I shrugged, allowing her to pull me with her back toward the bar, where she waved emphatically for the bartender.

“Spill it, woman. I know Lucian has you cooped up here. You’re alone, like me. Girl talks help, or so I hear.”

“I am alone, Erie. I feel it to my core. I miss Kendra and my mom. Lucian and the guys are great, but it’s not the same, you know?” I admitted, groaning at the idea of purging my problems.

“I hear ya, Lena. Trust me. I am alone most of the time, too. I don’t trust many people, and those I do trust normally think I’m insane,” she replied.

“Well, you were wearing Callaghan when I came up the stairs.” Pointing it out causes a bubble of laughter to escape my throat, which was luckily replicated by her giggle.

“He deserved it, trust me. Callaghan is so worried about saving his race that what I need or want isn’t considered. He tried to kidnap me and thought taking me home would make me feel things once more. We’ve changed, though.”

“How did he end up as your wardrobe?” I asked, sipping deeply from the nectar of the gods.

Erie smiled, licking her lips before shaking her head. “He planned to trick me, and I didn’t appreciate his plan. He used fertility medicine a few months ago, and it didn’t work out for him.” I gazed over her shoulder, where Lucifer studied me, his eyes locking with mine while he stood less than three feet from us. “Anyway,” she said, waving her hand around. “He took me home, drugged, bound, and fucked me on the cliffs where we’d once recited our vows. I thought it was romantic until I tasted the concoction in my drink. I returned the favor, drugging him before I tied him to the cliff’s walls and took his skin and head.”

I blinked slowly, dragging my eyes back to her. I wasn’t certain what I’d expected, but that hadn’t been it.

“Do you love him?” I asked.

“I’d destroy the world to protect him,” she replied softly.

“Does he love you?” I continued, wondering when they’d gone wrong. Somewhere in their history, they’d turned from lovers to enemies.

Her red curls bounced as her head shook from side to side. “He wouldn’t destroy anything for me. Probably not even a supermarket. Callaghan is more worried about saving the people we cursed in our war. Just once, I’d like him to vow to destroy the world for me. Shit, if he wanted me to be with him for something more than just saving a race, I’d possibly be able to forgive him. The thing is, he doesn’t talk to me like I matter. I’m nothing more than the womb he needs to fill, and that isn’t something I will allow him to achieve. I am more than that,” she admitted, frowning, causing her forehead to wrinkle.

“I hear you,” I replied, nodding. “Lucian allowed my bloodline to die and did nothing to prevent it. They were savagely murdered, and he knew it would happen. I can forgive him for being some medieval monster, but I need to understand why. I deserve that, right? I don’t know where I fit into his world, either. He wants me. That much I do know.” Pausing, I creased my brow at her pitying stare.

“I am irrevocably in love with him, but he doesn’t allow me to know how he feels, Erie. I feel lost, and I hate this feeling. It’s like I came back with a purpose, and now it’s changing daily. I don’t need him to declare his love for me in some big gesture, but I hate feeling like I’m in limbo. It’s like the ground I am standing on is trembling, and I am just waiting for it to crumble beneath me.”

“Lucian was hurt badly when Katarina betrayed him. You know that. He lost his shit when you died, Lena. I watched it unfold and then was called in to build a cage to contain you, or what he assumed was his seal manipulating your corpse. Imagine never losing control, and then it’s just gone. Lucian has spent his entire life holding command on worlds and immortals that depend on him. You walked into his life, and he wasn’t sure what to do with you. You shook his foundation and made the ground tremble on which he stood.”

“I doubt that very much,” I muttered.

“Sometimes foundations have to break so that new ones can be built,” she returned, studying me.

I considered her words, nodding my understanding while running them through my mind. Was that the issue? Was my foundation crumbling so that I could stand with Lucian? Did he want me that close to him? I knew he cared deeply for me and wanted me. That much was obvious, but what if that wasn’t enough and he tired of me? What if he didn’t allow me to stand with him because of what had happened in the past?

“Don’t do that, Magdalena. You’re going to what if yourself back into the grave. That buzzing isn’t going away. I think it’s following us.”

“That’s me,” I admitted, and her eyes widen before they lowered to my abdomen.